Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸 @katimiii Twitter profile

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

3 years

“…when I need a reminder (that) the world is bigger than the one I know, and its currents are always moving; when I need a reminder (that) there is a life for me beyond the water, and that one day, I will not be left behind.”

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

6 months

This rubbish stopped when I realised they couldn't confirm whatever I tell them. Drop a price that's 5h/1k below the app price so they negotiate back to the app price. Transfer before you get to the destination so when they start throwing hissy fits, you just wave goodbye. 😂

Challenge. synonym; star.

@___OluwaBukunmi

6 months

Ibadan Bolt Drivers 🤝 “How much is it showing on the app?”

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@katimiii

2 years

I just did the math. For every time this person went out, there is an 83% chance that they DID NOT shower. 😭

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@Aella_Girl

2 years

My 2022 in stats! Image is my mood each day And some # - how many times I ___ this year: went outside: 222 pooped: 194 socialized: 165 worked: 137 took adderall: 126 drank alcohol: 118 danced: 64 had sex: 63 cried: 59 wrote: 51 gamed: 44 had a good meal: 42 showered: 37 1/

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@katimiii

4 years

It seems everyone has had that phase, where it feels like the world has grown beyond the skills you have and everyone else has moved forward. During my “phase”, a friend introduced me to , the world’s first student incubator, where I got to craft a new...

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@katimiii

2 years

I’m not sure I’ll ever understand student fellowships. This babe is stressed, yet she has to attend a vigil tonight because Popsie XYZ “will punish her” otherwise. You’re an adult. Nobody can “punish” you without your consent. Why do you yield up so much power over your life?

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@katimiii

3 years

I’m curving all guys from OAU henceforth because I absolutely cannot risk having someone break into “There is only one Great Ifẹ̀ in the you-ni-vas” at my wedding.

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@katimiii

2 years

Shouting “Alright, baby. Love you!” to my brother outside Kuti Hall, then running away so he has to deal with the awkward stares >>>>>>>>>

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@katimiii

6 months

If you thought X was a fair price when we haggled for it, why are you mad when you realise that X is, in fact, the original app price? See the cognitive bias here, Mister?

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@katimiii

1 year

It’s 9am on a Monday morning. I’m standing in my mother’s kitchen drinking Kunu and eating Kuli-kuli. I’m living the dream of every diaspora Nigerian writer. 🥹

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@katimiii

2 years

I’ve spent my entire morning arguing with BAT people on my class group. “Future doctors” dey tell me say Parkinson’s no suppose hinder competence. No be life be this, wallahi.

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@katimiii

4 years

Nigerians are beautiful, BEAUTIFUL people. I checked Muyiwa’s TL and the new quotes on his tweet, and those offering to help if things get rough and the other immigrants posting their snow pictures is just amazing. Nigerians deserve so much better than this country has given us.

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@katimiii

2 years

I can’t believe Level 2 HMs like Khalid, Ilebaye and Cyph got evicted without a second thought, only for Biggie to create Level 3 when it’s time to evict Level 1 HMs. Yes, the #BBNaija game isn’t set in stone, but what’s with constantly shifting the goalposts to suit one level??

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@katimiii

4 years

20•01•2021. Three months today. #EndSARS

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@katimiii

4 years

I make subtitles for videos- movies, skits, whatever it is you need subtitled in English, Yorùbá, Igbo and French. You could have it in Ms Word, Adobe Premiere project or SRT formats. January is 72 days long, and I’ve quit my job, so please bring me work. 👉🏽👈🏽 Thank you. 🤍

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@katimiii

1 year

@miidee_ “Look out! Here comes the Spider-Babe!”

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@katimiii

1 year

Man, this isn’t (just) rizz. It’s seduction. Raw seduction.

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@katimiii

4 years

University of Ìbàdàn, PLEASEEEE. 😭

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@katimiii

29 days

Medical school is the worst, most unforgiving place to have a (chronic) medical condition.

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@katimiii

1 year

This babe on my floor said “You people saw fireworks and are laughing. That’s how the colonial masters had your forefathers’ eyes shining because of mirrors.” Wallahi, I love killjoys sometimes. Especially when the “joy” in question get as e be.

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@katimiii

3 years

@harduroojar @FEMMY466 Her tweet literally said “they will get up after the rest”, didn’t it?

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@katimiii

3 years

I’ll make jokes about this strike because it’s the easiest thing to do, but it’s actually crazy that my mates are fucking convocating and I’m just…here. Stuck in limbo for years on end, looking at 5 more years of school, at least. Nobody deserves what this country does to you.

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@katimiii

2 years

This entire thread, man. 😂 The constant struggle of these writers to add some “authentic cultural lingo” every few lines, only to end up with a faux-depth that’s irritating to anyone who actually knows this place. This is why CNA is forever GOATed. Could never be my idolo.

CherishedMephit

@CMephit

2 years

you’ll just know when a book is written by a diaspora nigerian, idk how to put it but it’s like they want it to seem nigerian so bad that it ends up forced and not natural. i just search google and i am never wrong. almost like they’re so out of touch or something.

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@katimiii

3 years

*Person has an accident at UI Gate* Everyone:

Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

3 years

I feel a new joke coming on.

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@katimiii

2 years

The new BlaqBonez is so good. Damn.

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@katimiii

2 years

Apparently, I have a LOTTT more First Class graduates on my TL than I thought or knew of. It’s super pleasing, and I just want to say that I’m proud of you all for doing the seemingly impossible. Academic doings are forever GOATed in this girl’s books. 🫶🏽❤️

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

3 months

Super proud of the SU for taking proper action, but I'm even more scared for the execs.🙃

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

3 years

🎄❤️

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@katimiii

4 years

“Wá bámi post kiní yìí sórí platform”

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@katimiii

4 years

I led the @teensmeetonline Ìbàdàn team on our Pad-A-Teen outreach in celebration of #IWD2021 today, and it was everything we planned and more. It was amazing how excited the girls were to discuss such real issues we all face with sexual health and menstrual hygiene. 🤍

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

25 days

This bro solidarity where you’re always banding together on the wrong side of everything important… Put your education to use, I beseech you. 🙏🏾

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@katimiii

2 years

I saw her this morning. She’s lost so much weight. 😔 She said she was terribly hungry during the strike, except when some students called to send her money.

Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

2 years

One of the first things I’m doing after resumption is to give my laundry woman some money. I genuinely miss that woman, and I really hope she’s doing well.

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@katimiii

2 years

“The tea was hot, yes, but as it burned my tongue, it burned Papa’s love into me.”

Bookish Ezioma

@EziomaKalu

2 years

Hello #BookTwitter let's do something real quick. So you'll quote a line from an African book, and someone would guess which book it is. I'll go first. "Love is blood choosing blood. Nothing to do with the heart. The heart speaks, you can reason with it. But blood?"

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@katimiii

4 years

Please retweet business tweets from Nigerian students. Everyone needs all the encouragement they can get right now.

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@katimiii

2 years

I remember adding professional writing as an afterthought to my plans for the year in late 2021 because I had no idea how I’d even begin. Now, here I am, writing my author bio for the third and largest brand I’ll be working with in 2022. You can do anything, Miracle. Anything.

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@katimiii

5 months

It doesn't change; it dictates. A ceiling is set over your life and you're saddled with the impossible task of first seeing beyond it, then dreaming beyond it, then working ten times as hard to chip away at it.

reni, the resource | finance & travel

@xoreniii

5 months

Simply put: the country you are born in. It changes the trajectory of your life

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@katimiii

3 years

Hi, everyone. Long shot, but 3 freshmen at the University of Ibadan studying Compouter Science, Phyisology, and Biochemistry have financial difficulties. They are all raised by single parents, and the funds we have put together are insufficient to cover all their current needs.

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@katimiii

25 days

You people don’t hate deadbeats enough for my liking.

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@katimiii

1 year

What do you call a virtual idan?? An e-dan.

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@katimiii

2 years

How does anyone really want to choose “Shurrup your mouth” over having your concerns drive actionable change??

Peter Obi

@PeterObi

2 years

I've received several calls of concern following the release of the Labour Party's Presidential Campaign Council list. Admittedly, there were some omissions and erroneous entries in the list, hence the concerns expressed. In response,

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@katimiii

2 years

This man just picked out repeat students to use them as an example of why we should attend classes and not attempt to crash-read. What is this nastiness?

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@katimiii

1 month

Social media is ridiculous, because why do I have a dropout — whose time in medical school is still a big enough deal to them that they’d put it in their bio — telling a finalist that their backbreaking work to thrive within and outside medicine equates to “years of deceit”?

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@katimiii

2 years

If we actually resume, I may be academically finished.

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@katimiii

2 months

8 of 11 distinctions. I don't know which school it is, but I sure know which school it isn't. 🤓

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@katimiii

2 years

I just finished Blood Sisters, and all I can think about is that Uncle B did not baff until he died. Imagine stinking all the way to the pearly gates. Dismal.

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@katimiii

2 years

multilingual purr.

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@katimiii

4 years

You missed the chance to say “Is Bleach worth the hypo?” Hahahaha.

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@katimiii

3 years

“Strictly confidential” 💀

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@katimiii

20 days

It’s my birthday. It’s raining outside, but in the good, non-windy way. The power is still on. The Wi-Fi speed is decent. Life is good, and it will get better.

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@katimiii

4 years

@CeeJay_Enebeli @Yhormite01 @MannydGOAT_94 @a_otaibayomi No. That’s exactly what the joke was.

Manny Not Mane

@MannydGOAT_94

4 years

@kore_olukoya @a_otaibayomi Lmao From their uniform, they're most definitely workers there na

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@katimiii

4 years

...custom resumé with Sam... prepare my elevator pitch with Gina, and grow with the remote internship program. If you’re feeling lost on your journey, or you’d like the opportunity to develop your professional skills, UpKey is for you. Click the link to find your niche here.

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@katimiii

2 years

Another one for the “Twitter polling units”, the hope that we get it right this time, and more importantly, a better Nigeria. ❤️ #NigeriaDecides2023

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@katimiii

2 years

Periods come with such an insane amount of stress. Terrible moods, appetite changes, HELLISH cramps, fatigue, bloating, diarrhoea/constipation, breakouts, sleep changes…all because you’re not pregnant. And let’s not get started on what happens if you DO get pregnant.

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@katimiii

3 years

When I was young, I used to rear snails. At that point in my life, I wanted to grow up to be a farmer. Lmao. I started with only a handful of them, and my dad would always come home from work with some new material on snail rearing he printed off the Internet for me.

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@katimiii

2 years

took a ‘his and hers’ picture today. 😂

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@katimiii

2 years

I just discovered that she doesn’t even know him, and 😭—

Osé

@s3naga

2 years

You gotta do the media research first, boy.

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@katimiii

2 years

I watched reruns of Tinubu speaking to Oyo APC on the news tonight, and something struck me yet again. This man’s entire campaign is based on “It’s my turn.” That’s literally EVERYTHING.

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@katimiii

2 years

Everytime I see these tweets, I hope and pray that these guys will open a store in Ìbàdàn. 😭

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@katimiii

2 years

My mom LOVESSSSS that I get paid to buy food and write about my experience eating it. The woman’s convinced that I have the best job in the world. 😂

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@katimiii

2 years

I can make perfect custard in one try now. 8 months ago, I didn’t see myself achieving this, but bí ó ṣe wu Ọlórun ló ń ṣ'ọlá ẹ̀. 🤲🏽

Doyinsola TOYE

@doyinsola_toye

2 years

So, if ASUU calls off the strike now, what have used the past 8 months for? What have achieved in these past 8 months? How has your life changed for the best in these past 8 months? What tangible thing can you point to?

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@katimiii

2 years

The amount of material freely available on this site is astounding— files of everything from attorney appearances to decrees of forfeiture from the 90s. I’m partly amazed at this efficiency because I’m Nigerian and partly worried for whoever can still stand to call this a lie.

David Hundeyin

@DavidHundeyin

2 years

The wonderful thing about countries like the US is that you can't tell lies about things that are on public record. The full and unredacted case files of Tinubu's drug money seizure are available here, and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing.

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@katimiii

3 years

I’m so proud of @Sinfonia_UCH . Tonight was beyond beautiful! ❤️

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@katimiii

4 years

When I met this young man in 2018, he said “I’m Mark, a 400level medical student, blah blah.” The year is 2021, and he’s Mark, still a 400level medical student. 🙂

M. O.

@Obeyamark

4 years

2019 Choc Party : “I got admission at UI, yet to resume tho.” 2020 Choc Party : “I got admission at UI, yet to resume tho.” Ekuu "yet to resume” day.

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@katimiii

2 years

Zinoleesky can write Romeo and Juliet, but Shakespeare could never write Mapariwo. I know my GOAT.

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@katimiii

2 years

I need to code for a project, write an article, and study for an exam. I cannot do three things at once, neither can I clone myself in three places. After evaluating this complex situation, I have decided to take things one at a time. I will be sleeping first. 🙏🏾

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@katimiii

3 years

Dr Oyedun established The Sinfonia?? This man is GOATed. No less. 🥺

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@katimiii

2 years

They’ve given me cooler and harmattan-stricken pot to wash.

Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

2 years

home. 🥹

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@katimiii

2 years

#JawWar speeches that prioritise clear communication and logic over forced punchlines>>>>>>>> LOVED the first Economics speech!

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@katimiii

1 year

*lists achievements* “All of these I didn’t get, but I graduated from blah blah.” Wrap it the fuck up.

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@katimiii

2 years

My least favourite thing about the nature of work in these times is how you have to be loud about whatever you’re doing to avoid losing out. You can’t just learn or work on things; you have to create a Twitter thread, a LinkedIn post, or a Medium blog about it. It’s exhausting.

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@katimiii

2 years

No amount of preparation eliminates fallibility , so decent people who know how much physical, mental, and emotional preparation goes into a debate speech, especially one prepared for a crowd as large and unforgiving as #JawWar23 , would never cheer when a speaker loses themself.

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@katimiii

1 year

You know he’s lying. He knows you know he’s lying. You both enjoy the charade until it’s over. I don’t see the problem.

Sameerah of Data Analytics✨😌🌹🇬🇧

@Adedotttttttt

1 year

You will ask a Yoruba man why he is awake and he will say it is because of you. Lmaooo ekun 😭🤚🏼.

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@katimiii

2 years

I remember the day I stepped out to get bread and caught my little brother in the middle of this with some babe on her way to Awo. I had to keep walking like I didn’t know the fool. Curse the Fates that got us in the same school. 😔

.

@Cryptopunks03

2 years

ASUU has to call off strike. We're missing this 😭😭

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@katimiii

2 years

Overheard a couple of transport workers discussing. The older man went all “Igbos are cunning. Look how they won Lagos for Obi.” The younger replied “Do you know how much we’d be paying to Tinubu for this same transport work in Lagos? Nobody is cunning; people are just tired.”

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@katimiii

4 years

18•02•2020. On this day one year ago, I held my woman and begged her to stay with me as I felt the life leave her. She was the strongest woman I ever knew, and spending her last six days with her remains the singular best gift I have ever gotten. Till forever, or never. 🤍

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@katimiii

2 years

@KikiowoAyorinde @HavilahSK_Inya LMAOO. People hate when others aren’t as one-laned as they are. It’s either you’re a serious-kid-on-the-road-to-BGS or lazy-kid-making-TikToks-who fails-woefully pathway. No in-betweens. 😂 They’re people, not stereotypes. They can have fun and do great in school, ffs.

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@katimiii

5 years

@Kollazie_ @AuntyAdaa Vulva, bruh. Don’t let Twitter steal your expertise. 😂

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@katimiii

3 years

@bhimpey I’m taken aback, but thank you for this information. This would even be worse than Great Ife. 😭😭

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@katimiii

2 years

My mother is an opp, because how am I telling this woman about my upcoming exams, and she keeps saying “Don’t worry about that. Leave it all in school and just come home. I miss you.” Sis, are we dating??? 😭😭

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@katimiii

2 years

I went to Idia this morning. I’ve forgotten my room number. 😭

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@katimiii

4 years

Six days since the strike was suspended, and we’ve not had one pipsqueak about resumption plans, how we’re to catch up with a whole year of work, or the provision of facilities to ensure COVID restrictions when we resume. A whole year behind, and no direction, just vibes.

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@katimiii

2 years

I want to resume school so I can get on with my life and all, but I’m actually scared because bro, NOTHING dey my head again. 😂

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@katimiii

3 years

I need to start to deck the people I see playing love in this school. Can’t you see the state of the country? Is this the time for such frivolities?

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@katimiii

3 years

All of you that badmouthed the harmattan and chased it away, I hope the way we’re all boiling makes you happy now.

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@katimiii

2 years

here’s something I wrote while brushing my teeth this morning.

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@katimiii

1 year

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@katimiii

1 year

The electoral process for this UISU election is the worst I have ever experienced. First, an extremely leaky accreditation process. Then, a shifty “Mock election,” a physical verification for virtual accreditation. Now, it’s Election Day, and “Boom! Accreditation incomplete.”

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@katimiii

8 months

Super proud that my lecturers will be learning new things from the essays I wrote today. Never mind that the said "things" don't exist. What matters is that they, just like me, will be learning.

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@katimiii

2 years

Patronising the students by saying “I’ll be voting Peter Obi” is an even more irritating insult to our collective intelligence. It’s not about you! A wanton declaration that UI students “endorsed” PO would equally be an abuse of power that sets a dangerous precedent.

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@katimiii

4 years

I remember the first time I told my grandma I loved her. Her life was so full of battles, she never had time to be properly loved, so when I hugged her and said “I love you”, she just stared at me in shock until my mom said “Màámi, tell her you love her too.” Became our thing.

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@katimiii

2 years

My siblings got a cake that says “Mommy C. Dollarssss!”, and my mom is here wondering who the hell that is. 😂😂

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@katimiii

2 years

Idk if this is me being a hater, but nothing this man does can be remotely funny to me. It’s impossible for me to laugh with a person when I’m fully aware that their intentions towards me are entirely retrogressive.

Bola Ahmed Tinubu

@officialABAT

2 years

Emi lo kan of Doha

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

2 years

@IAmPatrickOA This woman is my GOAT. 😍

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@katimiii

3 years

Just buy plantain chips, man. Soggy and golden brown, fried right at the brink of being overripe>>>>>>>>>>

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Mommy C. Dollarsssss🌸

@katimiii

2 years

I LOVEEEEEE giving gifts, especially to my family. The struggle to choose something they really need, clumsy attempts at being stealthy while picking deliveries, videos—that will never see the light of day—of them screaming in surprise, the tears of joy… I love all of it. 🥺

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@katimiii

8 months

Again, NOBODY parties like medical students.

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@katimiii

3 months

There's nothing like a sensible, understanding person.

OJO.chukwu🦾

@ojois_

3 months

@ssheyii @Abrahamchase09 Definitely getting for the both of them🤧🙏 I’m so grateful fam❤️

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@katimiii

6 months

Eating pineapples for dinner, and I just want to say that if you hate this fruit, YOU are the problem.

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@katimiii

3 years

@PebusPebus Bat peppersoup EXISTS? 😭

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@katimiii

4 years

Watching Kamala and Amanda is a reminder of how much I wanted for myself as a little girl, when the world seemed to be at my fingertips. Every day I live, I pray with my heart that Nigeria has not taken the opportunity to be that away from me. There is so much I want to do.

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