Kaidi Wu, Ph.D. @kaidi_wu Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

@kaidi_wu

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Psychologist | Coach | I write about culture, work, & love

https://t.co/c9koolnz0d

Joined July 2013

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

How women IMAGINE they'd react to sexual harassment is wildly different from how they ACTUALLY react when harassed. Julie Woodzicka & @ProfLaFrance created sexual harassment in lab and tested how women reacted when harassed by a male interviewer in real time. What happened:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

⚠️For PhDs who are thinking about jumping ship and diving into industry: Industry isn't necessarily better than academia. I have straddled both worlds. Here are 5 MYTHS about academia vs. industry:

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance 5️⃣ I still can't believe this paper was published >20 yrs ago. The subject remains poignant and pressing. This is the reality of women when being harassed: You're frozen, terrified. You try to be polite and smile. These reactions are often used to undermine their credibility.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

One of the greatest MYTHS in cultural psychology is collectivists (e.g. Asians) don't compete––they are a kumbaya/harmonious/lovey dovey bunch who prioritize interpersonal relationships, unlike those individualistic Americans who are self-serving and competitive. 1

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance 3️⃣ Instead of anger (as women imagined they'd feel), a whopping 40% of women felt fear when being harassed. For the small % of women that confronted the harasser, they did so by being as polite and agreeable as possible.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@histofarch @CinnaPretzel @ProfLaFrance Harassment is harassment. It's a grave misperception that harassment is welcome if the harasser is "hot".

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance 2️⃣ New study. Researchers have now set up job interviews in the lab and had male interviewers actually ask sexually harassing Qs in real time. They videotaped women's reactions. Strikingly, NOT ONE woman refused to answer harassing Qs. Not one woman told the interviewer off.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance 4️⃣ Harassed women also showed more non-Duchenne smiling (fake smile), what people may feel obligated to do when powerless and trying to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance The most prominent emotion women imagined they'd feel was anger (27%), while fear was rarely mentioned (2%). 62% of women said they'd confront the interviewer. 68% said they'd refuse to answer at least one harassing questions.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance 6️⃣ Disbelief & misunderstanding can come from both men & women. In an interview with Deborah Treisman @NewYorker , Mary Gaitskill described a female character who rebuffed her male editor's advances, and couldn't fathom why other women couldn't do what she did. Not uncommon IRL.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

It's shocking how widely accepted Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is in both the psych field & public consciousness… 70 years after its inception… Given the little empirical support it actually has. Here's what his then student Elliot Aronson had to say about his theory:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance 1️⃣ Researchers first asked young women to IMAGINE how they would feel if asked sexually intrusive questions in an interview: "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Do people find you desirable?" "Do you think it's important for women to wear bras to work?"

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Studies show collectivists (Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Thai, Ghanians) are more likely to withhold information during negotiations, have frenemies than real friends, hold zero-sum beliefs, compare themselves to others, feel bad about themselves when their friends succeed. 3

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

This couldn't be farther from the truth. In a new chapter, @ThomasTalhelm and I show collectivists are MORE competitive than individualists. They just compete more covertly than up front. 2

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ProfLaFrance @NewYorker Thank you for reading 🙏 If you enjoyed this research discussion, 💚/retweet this thread 🧵 Follow @kaidi_wu for daily writing on psychology, love, & work!

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

Academics don't leave academic research. They leave the academic system: politics, schmoozing, appeasing people in power, abuse, harassment, credit stealing, big egos, university bureaucracy, Reviewer 2 @academic_exit @ProfessorIsIn

@aribidopsis

Arif Ashraf

5 months

I was reading 2023 Nobel laureate Katalin Kariko's book, Breaking Through. She was brutally honest about the academic system in US. And, here is an example section from her book.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Why do couples look alike? 👩‍❤️‍👨 Back in 1987, researchers (Bob Zajonc, @PaulaNiedenthal et al) suggested that couples who live together grow to look alike over time. But, as the literature evolved, other researchers have cast doubt on the "facial convergence" hypothesis: THREAD🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

The field of psychology has long been, and still is, WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic). But painting collectivists as friendly, cooperative, harmony-seeking not only doesn't do cultural psych justice. It does more harm than good. 7

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

White men show stronger romantic preference for Asian women. This is explained by gendered race theory: Men prefer women who embody femininity, and stereotypical association of Asian = feminine. @AdamGalinsky

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@RichardHanania

Richard Hanania

@RichardHanania

5 months

White male/Asian female is almost three times more common than the reverse. Amazing how little social tension this causes. Good for Asian men for being such good sports.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Collectivistic cultures also have a more singular, "common standard" definition of success (e.g. "the only way to achieve success is to become a doctor") and are more likely to believe the world is zero-sum (e.g. "your success = my failure"). 6

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ScottParkCO @ProfLaFrance No they don't.

@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@histofarch @CinnaPretzel @ProfLaFrance Harassment is harassment. It's a grave misperception that harassment is welcome if the harasser is "hot".

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Myth 2: P-hacking only exits in academia🤔 If you're frustrated with dealing with an advisor who hasn't run a proper t-test in years, wait until dealing with 🥩holders with 3rd-grade-level data expertise. I cannot count how many times I've been tasked to "recruit just 3 more

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

In cultures that demand social harmony, people use tacit strategies to compete against others. This social vigilance is a consequence of collectivism, rather than the exception. 8

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Myth 4: Industry jobs are just as intellectually fulfilling I have spoken with many ex-academics who bemoan the lack of intellectual fulfillment in industry as they used to find in academia. One reason is that industry jobs tend to be skill-centric, not domain-centric. In

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

In one study, @shlulu asked Americans and Chinese to imagine themselves competing for an acting role, and anticipate what other actors would do. 38% of Chinese responses fell in unethical/gray areas ("poison other actresses' food", "sleep with the director") vs. 16% Americans. 4

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Why then are there so much competition and in-group vigilance in collectivistic cultures? One possibility is they are less relationally mobile: 5

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Myth 1: Industry always pays better than academia🤔 I have received industry offers that pay as little as my postdoc & offers that pay as much as R1 universities. Attractive tenure-track business school offers can pay as much as senior-level roles at big tech (200K+). In fact,

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Myth 5: Industry jobs are much more impactful🤔 Impact is a question that riddles academics, artists, musicians, writers, actors, creatives. We're not performing heart surgery. We're not driving a bus. We're not making software products. We're creating something beautiful,

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Myth 3: Industry offers great work-life balance🤔 Of all the problems in academia, time at desk is not one of them. Some people need the 9-to-5 structure. Others dislike its rigidity. Many corporate jobs demand that you work from 8am/9am to 5pm. The hours get worse if you work

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

Why are there so many White-man-Asian-woman romantic pairings? 3 insights from Gendered Race Theory say it's not just "👨 have Yellow Fever" or "👩🏻 have White Fever": 🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Full chapter for an in-depth read:

Hide a Dagger Behind a Smile: A Review of How Collectivistic Cultures Compete More Than Individua...

Why is there so much competition in seemingly harmonious societies? In this chapter, we connect different veins of research on cultural differences in competition. We first review cultural variation...

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Academia has systematic issues. But so does industry. In the age of mass layoffs, industry is far from the panacea for financial stability, fulfillment, work life balance it's touted to be.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

💔A year ago, I joined the world's largest online dating company as a doe-eyed academic researcher. Little did I know the dark waters I was sinking into:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Non-Asians are often surprised to see this finding, but ingroup derogation (Asians disliking their own culture) has long been documented in the psych literature:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

When I talk to ppl who zombie through corporate jobs, they say, "I don't hate it. It's fine". "I don't hate it. It's fine" is what husbands say in loveless marriages. 2 yrs ago, I left academia for a 250K job inundated w pseudowork & bs meetings. I quit. 4 things I learned:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

"By today's standards Maslow would not be considered a scientist. Science requires that you state your theory in a way that it can be tested and shown to be wrong. Maslow's theories were not even specific enough to allow others to test them."

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Asians work harder because when grades & external achievement are the only way of success, when you beat children's self-esteem into a pulp for not getting into an Ivy... Asians have no choice but to "work hard": THREAD🧵

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@TheRabbitHole84

The Rabbit Hole

@TheRabbitHole84

3 months

@elonmusk America really is full of opportunity. This can’t be written off by “selection effects” of immigration either. Even if they come from poorer, less educated families, Asian Americans significantly outperform White students by fifth grade. Asians are harder working because of

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

There is an inherent selection bias from ex-academics who left for industry, the most vocal advocates for how industry is better than academia. As you look beyond academia, do a thorough research on the pros and cons of every industry. Gather as representative a sample as you

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@histofarch @CinnaPretzel @ProfLaFrance How would women react if an interviewer who looks like Matthew Mcconaughey asks them, upon meeting, "do you think it's appropriate for women to wear bras" and "do you have a boyfriend" during an interview in a professional setting?

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

24 days

I worked for world's largest dating app: It got sued by FTC for using fake profiles to trap men into subscriptions that are impossible to cancel. My colleagues won't admit this, but it's striking how much they shy away from using their own product🧵

@robkhenderson

Rob Henderson

25 days

An executive at a popular dating app told me some dating apps use "seeding," where they create fake profiles of attractive women to match with new male users. After a brief chat, the bot stops responding, giving users a dopamine hit, making them chase that initial high:

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal @pinpinteamakorn @michalkosinski @JaredBalbona TLDR: We attract who we are. We select who we are. We don't grow to look like them. Not our dogs 🐶. No.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

💚/ retweet if you find the data interesting. Follow @kaidi_wu for more research nuggets! 9

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

The excerpts are from Elliot Aronson's autobiography: Not by Chance Alone. Aronson pointed out the lack of construct validity and researcher reflexivity... 💬 But what IS the current state of research for Maslow's hierarchy or needs?

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ChristoSilvia @ProfLaFrance The fact that most women froze & showed predominantly fear under even low stake conditions speaks to how difficult the situation is

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

Academic incentives are set up for researchers to cheat. Now more than ever. 30 years ago, if your data didn't produce a consistent story––or “didn’t work”, as they say––you would have published one fewer paper. But, you would have been hired anyway, regardless of whether there

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal @pinpinteamakorn @michalkosinski @JaredBalbona 5️⃣ People don't just look like their spouse. They also look like their pets 🐶 ❌ But this isn't because people "grow to resemble their dog". Rather, they select pets that resemble themselves in some way. Wild.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

"Maslow's description of the self-actualizing person sounded suspiciously close to how Maslow might have described himself". Ouch.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal @pinpinteamakorn @michalkosinski @JaredBalbona 4️⃣ Surprise! There was no evidence supporting partners' faces converge over time. Rather, people select long-term partners who look similar to them from the beginning.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal @pinpinteamakorn @michalkosinski @JaredBalbona Rather, people attract partners similar to their own personality, attitudes, intelligence, values, well-being from the outset.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

One of the most frustrating experiences in online dating is encountering the "Don't Know Yet" people. Pandemic year. I dated a "don't know" boy. Here's how it went down 🤯🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@Charles95684721 @ProfLaFrance I’m sorry to hear about what you experienced 😔 it’s normal and common what you felt. The embarrassment is often worse in male (vs. female) victims.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@AndrewKelleyCA @ProfLaFrance Not the same study, but the Milgram experiment (looking into obedience) has been replicated

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

"I knew the concept was slippery; Maslow kept shifting the definition in his writings... Once I confronted him and asked whether by "ultimate goal" he meant that people had a conscious desire for self-actualization. He hemmed and said "I think 'desire' is too strong a term."

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@Attractiveincel @Paranjyoti8 @vegaeiou @histofarch @CinnaPretzel @ProfLaFrance Plenty of women would beg to differ.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

Research shows women's happiness has declined while men's⬆️ @JustinWolfers , NOT because👩are working vs. staying🏠,but because the definition of what it means to be happy has expanded. Women WANT to have careers. It's intensified expectation to excel in both💼+👪that's crushing.

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@TJMoe28

T.J. Moe

5 months

Not a word Harrison Butker says here should be remotely controversial. He’s 100% correct. Those trying to convince women that being assistant VP of lending & intentionally childless at age 40 is more fulfilling than making a family and home are evil.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

Women are MORE likely to be abandoned by their husbands when struck with a serious medical illness than vice versa. A later study* found wife's heart problems onset and stroke onset both predict divorce, while husbands' don't. *Karraker & Latham's corrected analyses.

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@JoyceCarolOates

Joyce Carol Oates

@JoyceCarolOates

5 months

this is only anecdotal, but a lawyer-friend of mine who'd worked closely with the most famous divorce lawyer in NYC (who'd mainly represented the wives of wealthy/famous men in divorce cases) said that she was astonished at the number of men who initiated divorce proceedings

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

@TheEcho13 There's an idiom in Chinese: a bottle half full makes a lot of noise. People who are inadequate in an area tend to scream the loudest, have the most to prove. Hate comes from below. The people who're above are too busy focusing on their goal.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

24 days

Americans see self-deprecation as manipulative and desperate because we live in a self-enhancement culture. But self-deprecation is the bread and butter of socialization in Asian cultures, even when it's deceptive. As Chinese teens get integrated into society, they learn that

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@Cluffalo

Allie

24 days

Too much self-deprecation is usually just a form of fishing for compliments and it comes off manipulative and desperate Used well, it shows humility and a sense of humor Used poorly it makes people think "If you don't like yourself, why should I?"

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 years

My new blog piece with @daviddunning6 at @sciam on Hypocognition. What is hypocognition? If you don’t know, you’ve just experienced it. (1/n)

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

24 days

Journalists avoid consuming news they know to be dispiriting & sensational @amandaripley @robkhenderson Tech execs have their kids abstain from gadgets they know to be addicting Dating app employees stay away from their own app, knowing the full gamut of its deceptive trickery

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

23 days

Why do men avoid marriage, when the data is clear that marriage benefits their career, finances, and wellbeing? THREAD🧵 1️⃣ Many men associate marriage with responsibility, constraints, sacrifice, financial risk. Some opt for an easier solution: cohabitation

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

This fits with research on how collectivists/Asians feel worse when their friend succeeds. It's well-established East Asians report lower well-being vs. Whites. Among other factors, upward social comparison may play a much larger role than what's talked about in the literature.

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@robkhenderson

Rob Henderson

3 months

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@statesdj @ProfLaFrance I'm not optimistic the results will change... Not the same study, but studies with similar ideas (Milgram) have been replicated, where people obey authority/conform when under pressure/in the moment

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

This is why women go for the bear.

@tinashe_yuri

Altitude Affinity

4 months

If the harasser is hot, she won’t even think it’s harassment!

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

Simping under bikini models is the digital edition of catcalling But why do men do this, given the minuscule chance of success+heavy reputation cost (other👨&👩 seeing them as low mate value)? Research🧵on why catcalling is really about misogyny & power:

@Cluffalo

Allie

4 months

Okay men: why do guys do this? What’s the appeal of following bikini models and/or simping under their pics? Wouldn’t you feel weird commenting and liking publicly for women who won’t notice you or care?

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

16 days

Porn for boys is like Regency novels & rom coms for girls. Both set up unrealistic expectations and can ruin you for life. Yet we condemn the former and glamorize the latter.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

The grief of not being able to obsess over your questions, realize your deepest curiosities, freely speak your mind -- it's a grief acutely felt by every academic who left the decades of work they have painstakingly built.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Thank you for reading 🙏 If you enjoyed this research discussion, 💚/retweet this thread 🧵 Follow @kaidi_wu for more writing on psychology, love, & work!

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal 1️⃣ In 1987, Zajonc et al. proposed that couples' faces grow to resemble each other through: ➡ Sharing the same diet ➡ Living in the same climate ➡ Experiencing similar emotional states ➡ Acquiring similar facial expressions and musculature (e.g., smile lines)

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

@CaitPsych Asking to split bill on 🍦. Grilling you on non-existing “sociological theories” when he has zero academic experience. Quizzing you on geography and history on the first date, then proceeding to mock you for being less intelligent than he is. Venting about how feminism is

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

24 days

@amandaripley @robkhenderson Bumble CEO met her millionaire husband on a ski trip, while peddling a Black Mirror-esque vision of AI dating for the commoners. Industry insiders know quite well: Don't get high on your own supply.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

International students in the U.S. are the perfect victims in a hopeless job market. They are exploited not once, not twice, but repeatedly by multiple parties (companies, shady universities, attorneys) for profit. I fell for some of them. Here are 5 things I've learned:

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Most academics start their career with the question: What makes a life filled with meaning and fulfillment? One day, they wake up in a crisis, and find themselves in an abysmal job market, unemployed.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@Krock182 This is also why Myers Briggs has held up in pop culture for so long. It's useful for individual in specific contexts, but the greater danger lies in implementing policy or hiring decisions in society at large on the basis of something that lacks empirical backing. Not directed

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

5 months

If there's ONE thing women wish men understood, it is this: Women live in constant fear for their safety.🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal @pinpinteamakorn @michalkosinski @JaredBalbona 3️⃣ So @pinpinteamakorn & @michalkosinski retested Zajonc's "facial convergence" hypothesis, but this time, with images from 517 couples, using both human judges & a facial recognition algorithm.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

By age 30, I have finished 4 university degrees & a postdoc. Yet I didn't know a single thing about money. A🧵about my journey into personal finance as a clueless academic:

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

Here's the book where the chapter came from:

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The Oxford Handbook of the Psychology of Competition (Oxford Library of Psychology)

The Oxford Handbook of the Psychology of Competition (Oxford Library of Psychology)

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal These conjectures weren't directly tested, though Zajonc et al. did have undergrads rate 12 married White, hetero couples' portraits taken at 1st & 25th yr of marriage. They found that undergrads rated couples at older age more similar in resemblance than when they were younger.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

If you are struggling with crushing on a dude who you know is bad for you... Get to know him. The crush will go away. I promise. The female equivalent of Post-Nut Clarity is Post-Gettin'-To-Know-Him Disillusionment😎

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Sexual harassment is not about sex. It's about power. Psychologist John Pryor studied how men conceive of the relationship between power & sex in the lab:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

"Perseverance aimed at the wrong goal is masochism. You cannot, through perseverance, make someone love you.” A thread on how pop culture ruins women's self-esteem in modern dating:🧵

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal 2️⃣ @pinpinteamakorn & @michalkosinski found this to be strange. While partner similarity has been well documented ( @JaredBalbona ), this is NOT because they "grew" to be similar over time through repeated interactions.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

The current way of therapy is outdated. Most people don't have debilitating mental disorders. They do, however, experience job loss, relationship upheaval, grief, sig life transitions that require mentorship & edu. People need coaching more than they need therapy.

@Cluffalo

Allie

3 months

"Everyone needs a therapist" only arose because people are so lonely Most people don't need a therapist, because most people aren't going through life-disrupting mental illness But everyone does need a friend to listen and care, and therapists aren't even a substitute for that

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

3️⃣When I do academic research, I feel like the husband who can't wait to see his mistress. I can't wait to do my research. I think about it all day everyday, in the shower, in my car, on the weekends. I never lived for the holidays because every day was a holiday.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

@PaulaNiedenthal @pinpinteamakorn @michalkosinski @JaredBalbona Thank you for reading 🙏 If you enjoyed this research discussion, 💚/retweet this thread🧵 Follow @kaidi_wu for more writing on psychology, love, & work!

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@Cluffalo It’s also a power move: not revealing my hand until you show me yours. Then “I” get to decide what category I put you into and what I want to do with you.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

Similar mental health gap in Asians vs. Westerners when it comes to acknowledging mental illness % seeking help. Asians are more likely to deny mental illness because it's heavily culturally stigmatized. Psychological distress is rather often expressed as somatic complaints.

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@jayvanbavel

Jay Van Bavel, PhD

5 months

Is the ideological gap in mental health just an artifact of social desirability? “conservatives were more likely to hold stigmatized views of people with mental illnesses. Thus, in describing their own mental health, conservatives might want to reinforce this separation between

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

2 months

Interesting @pewresearch 📊 on how having children impacts older men vs. women's financial outcomes: Women w/o kids earn more than mothers. But men w/o kids earn less than fathers.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

@MattyBoySwag143 Ingroup favoritism yes. But other research has shown the paradoxical phenomenon of Ingroup derogation (Chinese denouncing fellow Chinese, cf. @Makellams , Julie Spencer-Rogers, Kaiping Peng, 2011)

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

Monogamy used to mean one person for life. Now it means one person at a time. My Asian parents are often aghast at the # of boyfriends the avg woman of my generation has had. They're even more appalled at the # of dates the avg woman nowadays goes on before exclusivity.

@Aella_Girl

Aella

5 months

some more traditional cultures would consider western culture to be largely nonmonogamous. after all, most of us have multiple partners! the fact that we make a fuss about not letting those partners overlap in time is a silly detail.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@AlexWheele @ProfLaFrance Thank you for reading 🙏 Unfortunately so 😔

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

6 months

@CaitPsych Never with guys who also have PhDs. Only dudes with no experience with academia waxing poetics about the harm of feminism and Jordan Peterson theories 🫠 There’s an idiom in Chinese: half a bottle of water makes a lot of noise. They feel the lack within themselves that they need

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

1️⃣Academics do the opposite of what most people do in their career. Most college graduates start their career with the question: How do I make money? One day, they wake up in a crisis, and find their lives devoid of meaning and fulfillment.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

2️⃣"Finding a job you aren't excited about so you can get by" isn't the solution. It's the bare minimum. I can't imagine myself squandering 8 hr/day, 5 days/wk, for the next 40 yrs, flitting from meeting to meeting, building someone else's vision, watching my own dream slip by

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

@ratentot @ProfLaFrance 💕it’s unfortunate. Somewhat of a “pyramid of choice” phenomenon happening too, where they rebuffed the abuser’s advances, now self-righteously justifying why they did so and looking down on other women who aren’t able to do so.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

28 days

@CaitPsych Dolan had retracted his statement because he misinterpreted the data. Unfortunately the misperceptions persisted. Research shows married people tend to happier than singles, men or women. It is nevertheless an appealing statement that resonated with many female readers. I think

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

4 months

"Try asking how many women have felt afraid when what you call “harassment” happens." The study did ask and 40% of the women reported feeling afraid. This is a prime example of naive realism at play: What happened to me is the objective reality, hence true for all women.

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@jess_ann_pin

Jessica Pin

4 months

@kaidi_wu @ProfLaFrance @NewYorker It’s more than disbelief. I feel disgusted that women like you try to tell me your life experience applies to me. It doesn’t. Try asking how many women have felt afraid when what you call “harassment” happens.

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@kaidi_wu

Kaidi Wu, Ph.D.

3 months

Ask yourself: What energizes me? What makes me want to leap out of bed every morning? What makes my heart sing? You can do all of that AND make good money, and a tenured professor job in the 1970s is no longer the only path to achieve this.

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