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Justin Klugh Profile
Justin Klugh

@justin_klugh

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Hittin’ Season for @WHYY , The Dirty Inning, @baseballpro | "You and me... we live in a strange country." |

Joined August 2009
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
9 years
JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th [Sun rises] [Sun keeps getting bigger] BUCK: yes [World engulfed by flames] BUCK: oh god yes
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Pirates: 21 wins, $35M payroll Orioles: 21 wins, $33M Nationals: 18 wins, $85M TOTAL: $153M Phillies: 21 wins, $200M
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Source says the Nets will be careful acclimating Ben Simmons to Brooklyn by putting their current players on the other side of a closed door and letting them slowly catch each other's scents
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
Young sports writers just don't want to work hard. I covered HS football games in the 4 corner counties of PA, driving 700 miles a night & filing stories from rest stops while fending off bloodthirsty hill folk, all for free. Did my great uncle Elbert's silver mine help? Yes, bu
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
Tony La Russa really showing some growth by disliking the idea of driving one when you probably shouldn't.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
7 years
Map of Philadelphia, per all national sports broadcasts
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
So far this month, the top three SLG in the NL: Kyle Schwarber, .774 Rhys Hoskins, .750 Bryce Harper, .723
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Teams that break COVID protocol and then call it "adversity"
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
7 years
[looks at all Philadelphia sports on rise] nice [looks at rest of universe] listen, we all knew the costs
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
10 months
Cannot believe MLB allowed this game to be played when one of the players has a blister
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
As a Philadelphian I can say I recognize loser energy better than anyone and oh boy this man has Fan Appreciation Day with No Postseason vibes
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
10 months
In honor of the Phillies no Philadelphia drivers will stop at stop signs today. Playoffs baby
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Imagine winning 101 games and then watching the team that finished third in your division go deeper into the playoffs than you.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
As concession workers who have struggled to stay housed threaten to strike for the ASG, the Phillies catcher hand waves away $260,000 because some magic bean salesman told him needles hurt too much
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
This all started with Alec Bohm getting hit in the shoulder with a pitch and being like, "FUCK yes!!"
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Brandon Marsh standing in center field, arms spread, collecting wetness
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 months
NICK CASTELLANOS: [nose starts bleeding]
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
6 months
Man I am loving the Angels' spring vibes Trout: I have chained myself to the radiator Rendon: [yawns like a cat in a sunbeam]
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
When you get a front row seat to watch Tyrese Maxey
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
GOP: we’re bringing a war to philly PHILLY: [forms dance circle with multiple Gritty’s]
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
Simmons has an open shot. His eyes pass over the crowd; everyone in the Wells Fargo Center has pacifiers in their mouths and “NOT HERE TO BABYSIT” t-shirts. Time is called when someone throws a headless baby doll onto the court. Embiid picks it up and cradles it for the cameras
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
Welcome to the Phillies bullpen 1⃣ day without a workplace incident
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
What the hell was Girardi doing to these guys
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
Braves: Elite offense and pitching Orioles: Youth, depth, talent Dodgers: Skill and experience Phillies: How many automatic outs can you pack into one lineup and still fall ass first into a wild card spot? Also the ball is too scary to catch
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
DOCTOR: And do you feel any more pain in your elbow? BRYCE HARPER: Why don't you ask the pain if it feels me DOCTOR: [checking box 'cleared to play'] oh my god
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
5 years
So tonight's broadcast just found a compelling protagonist
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
I just want whoever designs the Phillies City Connect jerseys someday to know we're a simple people who just want a perfect combination of pandering, insecurity, history, future history, Phanatic lore, fun colors, bad-assedness, the Eagles, John Kruk, and hatred.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Babies born on August 24 have never seen the Nationals beat the Phillies. The concept doesn't even exist to them.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
5 years
JOE TORRE: And we're all clear on the rules UMPIRE: Yup JOE TORRE: Because it's been a pretty rough series for MLB UMPIRE: We got it JOE TORRE: No questions at all UMPIRE: All good [Later] UMPIRE: The runner is out for trying to reach first base JOE TORRE: you guuuuyys
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 month
MARSH [snickering]: Yeah I guess they sent your new contract over BOHM: Makes sense STOTT: Ignore that "Home Run Derby sign-up sheet" at the top BOHM: Ok MARSH [handing him pen with beard]: I'd sign it real quick before they change their minds BOHM: I said ok
@PanasonicDX4500
one dozen rats at a keyboard
1 month
I am 90% sure Alec Bohm filled out the wrong form after getting selected for the all-star game and accidentally signed up for the Home Run Derby.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
10 months
Keep in mind if the Braves do anything this inning it shouldn't count because of how long Zack Wheeler had to wait to pitch
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
WE WANT PHILLY Please help a man is intercoursing
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
I've examined the Alec Bohm footage closely and I've deduced that he actually says "I fucking hate this place and Joel Embiid and Charlie Manuel and Broad Street and Jetro and hoagies" and then revealed a Raptors jersey under his uniform, damn
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
10 months
Phillies: The Phanatic was born in the Galapagos Islands, the most biodiverse island on the planet, and jumped aboard a steamship that docked in Philadelphia before nesting in The Vet. Braves: We used a 'mascot making machine' to make a finger with Phanatic noses for ears.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
5 years
ASTROS: [Stealing signs, beating teams] GABE KAPLER: [Sees bird] Is that the same bird from yesterday ROB THOMSON: What? I don't-- GABE KAPLER: Knapp, grab a bat
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
The cut to Odubel deserves an Emmy
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 months
*Phanatic enters TV booth* T-Mac: Oh look who’s here to remind us that tomorrow is car fire prevention night here at the ballpark John Kruk: *the most disgusted sigh you’ve ever heard* T-Mac: Ha ha whoa
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Cubs: We don't want to pay players because then they'll have the money and we won't Baseball writers: A bemusing bandy here as Chicago sends a staff ace west, accruing the most alluring talent of all; that of the future. In the thinking man's game, the pieces are always moving
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
[Cleveland Guardians meeting] EXEC: Great work everyone NEW ERA REP: May I make a suggestion?
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
5 years
The NL East is a four team race this year BRAVES: Slow start NATS: Slower start PHILLIES: Slow middle METS: Staffwide memo explains decision to resort to cannibalism
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Severn straight losses in Washington is technically called a “homestand.”
@RitchieTorres
Ritchie Torres
2 years
BREAKING NEWS: Kevin McCarthy has just lost the votes to be Speaker of the House for the SEVENTH time. The Republican chaos, crisis, and confusion continues.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
KRUK: (actually being serious) It sucks being hurt, doesn’t it. RHYS: (also very serious) Yeah. (2 seconds of sad silence) TMAC: Outside, ball 3
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Fan of some dumb team that lost: You know if you crunch the numbers and the things that happened didn’t happen, they wouldn’t be in the Super Bowl. Eagles fan: [messily drinking from slashed-open wine bag while sitting in trash can chariot pulled by dogs] Wooooooo
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
5 years
I hope Juan Soto hits a home run through the window of George Will's penthouse that lands in a plate of spaghetti and splatters all over his suit and his boss who is over for dinner throws his napkin down in disgust and doesn't give him the Henderson account
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
[Schilling rips off his Schilling mask, revealing that he is Schilling] Baseball writers: oh my god [start chasing a mail truck down the street]
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
8 years
@SportsCenter Meanwhile, outside Citi Field
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
9 months
Dombrowski: [plays video] Yamamoto: uh Dombrowski: [eyes closed, bobbing head, vibing to the music]
@ah_pod
Absolutely Hammered
9 months
this is the sizzle reel the Phillies showed Yoshinobu Yamamoto.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
This is how I sat at Phillies games c. 2014-16
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Fans: Ready for black jerseys; some jerseys that are the color, black. Sixers: We're rebranding the city as an Ardmore cul-de-sac
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
7 years
Welcome to Phase 6 of Philadelphia’s cunning 9,000-Phase plan to make this happen
@NBCSPhilly
NBC Sports Philadelphia
7 years
"Hopefully he'll come play for the Phillies one day." Zach Ertz on Mike Trout
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Phillies with the first postseason rally in history in which every batted ball looked like a double play off the bat.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Baseball announcers should be allowed to say "He hit the shit out of that" on the air when warranted.
@NBCSPhilly
NBC Sports Philadelphia
2 years
This swing is a thing of beauty! Nick Castellanos connects for a 2-run shot after a Bryce Harper single.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
Nick? Yeah Trea? Do you think there’s a pitch so low and outside even god couldn’t foul it off? I hope so. Me too, Nick. G’night. G’night.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
DAVE DOMBROWSKI: [kicks open Rob Thomson's office door, takes fedora with 'interim' tag off his head] ROB THOMSON: What da DOMBROWSKI: [Places different fedora with 'manager' tag on his head] ROB: This is a [Phanatic busts in, fires confetti cannon] ROB: great honor
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
Welcome to the New Flyers. We are going PLAY HOCKEY. We will WEAR UNIFORMS and HAVE GAMES. Losing? Guess what pal. We. Don’t. Like. It. Bet you think we won’t say “ass” in an ad. Well we had SEVERAL MEETINGS ABOUT IT. And it was agreed we could SAY IT ONCE
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
5 years
[Manny Machado throws a bat] @MLBUA : This attempted murderer needs to be held accountable for his actions [Aggro umpire can't wait to shred libs with an AR-15] @MLBUA : We are but a rich cornucopia of views in this, the U S of A
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
8 years
MADDON: Alright guys, the theme for this series is...[drawing from hat] bath salts PLAYERS: Skip no MADDON: [doing bath salts] c'mon
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
If America was the Phillies, Brandon Workman would be coming in right about now.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
7 months
New Braves fan trait just dropped
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Baseball can inspire poetry. I liked Joe Morgan's.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
@MnDPS_MSP Proud of you guys for cracking the case of "Are These People With a Big-Ass Camera and Media Badges Members of the Media??"
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
The Phillies marketing team finally nails it
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
KEVIN LONG: All right, show me what they had you doing MICKEY MONIAK: So I get in the box LONG: Sure MONIAK: And I've got the bat LONG: Good MONIAK: ... LONG: ... MONIAK: [tears welling up] LONG: Oh god
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Hey everyone; welcome to opening day for the Haunted Offshore Platform in the Gulf Mexico Blue Jays. Oh look it’s our lovable mascot, the Ghost of the Scientists who Mysteriously Died Here, warning us that we “will never leave this place,” ha ha, baseball is back folks
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
When I first learned how standings worked as a kid, I walked into the kitchen and informed my mom that the Phillies just needed to win 14.5 games and the Braves just needed to lose 14.5 games and the Phillies would be in first. She bent down & said "That's not going to happen."
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
When we find out that Schwarber has been housing a nest of baby birds in his glove all season you’re all going to feel so bad
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
I love that he puts it on “the city of Philadelphia” itself for losing, like a dude driving a SEPTA bus got blasted on national television tonight.
@danorlovsky7
Dan Orlovsky
4 years
That was a mockery
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
When you’re not listed among the National League’s middling trash
@JeffPassan
Jeff Passan
1 year
As mediocre as the Mets and Padres have been this season, no team comes close to the St. Louis Cardinals in terms of downright disappointment. They are a disaster. Five straight losses. A 27-42 record -- the worst in the National League, better than only Oakland and Kansas City.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 months
MARSH: Hey man, welcome DAHL: Thanks MARSH: So around here we shimmy THOMSON: Dahl, can I see you? [Dahl goes to leave] MARSH: [Beard grabbing Dahl’s arm like a hand] Around here. We shimmy. DAHL: [Shimmying away, tears in eyes, breathless with fear]
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
6 months
We’re a simple people who want a simple City Connect Phillies jersey: -Ripped-off sleeves -Each player gets an individual color -Says “Turtle power” instead of name on back -I forget what we’re doing
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
Spring's turning to summer. Each day is a sundrenched romp. I read and write on the porch, go for runs and hikes, and eat dinner outside with my wife. So many twilight happy hours and good books. Then every night for two and a half hours I silently drink and hate a baseball team
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Four days ago: This team is washed, lifeless, dumb Today: If Bryce doesn't take something off his high fives he is going to break someone in half at the torso
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 months
EXEC: We're not gonna need you in London KRUK: Nice. EXEC: But there's a watch party we'd like you to attend at the-- KRUK: [on the phone with some rowdy dudes] Six cases. No eight
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Is... is Nick Castellanos going to beat up everyone
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Kids, say hi to Phanatic Prime! He's just like the Phanatic you know and love, with one huge difference: He burst out of the original's torso in a bloody scene that horrified his handlers! We're not sure why this happened, or what to do next! He does not like to dance
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
John Kruk's having a hell of a night.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
The Phillies promise you: They WILL put a human being in center in 2022.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
1 year
[Ben Davis looks out window at orange skyline obscured by wildfire smoke] CARTOON SUN: Morning, Ben old buddy! Don’t forget, fire isn’t real! It’s just in your head! BEN: You got it, sun! But wait, aren’t you MADE of fire? SUN: What did I tell you about questions like that
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
1. Atlanta: Throws trash 2. Philly: Literally picks up trash as second job
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
Phillies fans: [grumbling] Archie Bradley: Hey everybody... who's ready to be PAID ATTENTION TO Phillies fans: [weeping, screaming, clawing]
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
I love how a big part of being a sports fan now is just waiting to find out how dumb of a dumb-ass your team's guy is.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
Every Philadelphia sports team should be looking for the most Joel Embiid-esque player in every draft and picking them without consulting anyone.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
10 months
Elias Sports Bureau: Cristian Pache is the first guy to safely steal center field
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
Did Roman Quinn just successfully Roman Quinn himself (bunted on, stole two bases, scored on sac fly) for the first time
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
PHILLIES: Finally looking interested, vibing, stringing some wins together JOE MADDON: Fired after a 12-game losing streak THE MEDIA: So how soon should the Phillies get Joe Maddon involved
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 months
T-Mac: What’s that? You’re going to start a small fire in the booth? Well all right *Phanatic trips over a box of hangers* Kruk: You know that’s just a guy in there
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 months
Love the Trea Turner updates. "Turner sprinted up and down the warning track pregame, calling for challengers, then chased down a sea gull and bit its head off. There is no time table for his return."
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
Interesting graphic on the 2009 World Series the Yankees broadcast just used.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
A-Rod suggesting he'd be locked out of a room full of analytic baseball staffers is a great start to my plan for A-Rod to be locked out of all rooms in which people are discussing baseball.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
11 months
Kyle Schwarber is hitting .193 in 613 PA. There are 88 players with at least 500 PA so far. Among them, Schwarber is 2nd in walks (108) and dead last in singles (39). If all of his walks were singles he’d be hitting .338. In conclusion, first pitch is in seven and a half hours
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
4 years
The best sports team marketer in Philadelphia is Bryce Harper, and he probably doesn't even want to play here anymore.
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
I read "NL champs" and it still takes a few blinks to remember that's the Phillies.
@MLB
MLB
2 years
The NL champs are bolstering their bullpen. The Phillies are reportedly acquiring LHP Gregory Soto, INF Kody Clemens from Tigers for OFs Matt Vierling, Nick Maton, C Donny Sands, per @MLBNetwork Insider @jonmorosi .
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
3 years
"Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps," Elbert always told me. "What are bootstraps?" I'd ask. "They're the straps that keep the workers in my silver mine from losing their work boots while they cough to death. Don't worry, you'll never have to wear them."
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@justin_klugh
Justin Klugh
2 years
@Pairadachs
Bong Water, Tadpoled Adventurer
2 years
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