Author of How Mamas Love Their Babies and ENJOY ME AMONG MY RUINS 🐛; contributor to
#WeToo
, The Rumpus, Vice, Tits and Sass, Autostraddle; writing a novel 🫠
🦁 🦁Hi there Twitterverse! It’s Leo season! And I am very obviously a Leo. My lil bday is July 27th. Here’s my bday wishlist:
—subscribe to my substack:
—contribute to my GFM so I can focus on this crazy lil book!
—Buy my books :)
I’m getting back into sex work. Here’s why:
—medical bills exceeding 20k
—not enough $ to take my ex to court for child support
—I hold a PhD but make less than min wage
—I have a child
It is willfully ignorant— and downright mean— to talk abt prohibition but not poverty.
Today I heard a male prof ask a female student to smile for him. Then he said “C’mon! You know I only come here to see that smile!”
I stepped in.
He cornered and threatened me.
But please, go on abt the “inherently dangerous and patriarchal” aspects of the sex industry.
So my university promised to pay me for moderating an event on exploitative prison labor and after I did all the, ahem, labor, my uni said it’s actually against policy to pay me LOLLLLLL
But please tell me more about how my sex work is bad & I should do ReAL wOrK 🤷🏻♀️
Men writing women:
“She was delicate; her virginity was the most salient part of her.
Then she became a cock sucking fiend, that little bad girl mmmm yummy yummy bad girl
I saved her, naturally.
Now mine is the only cock she sucks.
It’s the greatest love story ever told.”
It’s so interesting how “daddy issues” describes a woman’s personal struggles with an absent, neglectful, or otherwise abusive father but is meant as an insult against *her.*
Twice in the sex industry I gave a portion of my earnings to a (feminist) friend to help keep me safe. Under current federal definition, she’d be considered a pimp.
If you can’t conceptualize the nuances of sex work, you should take a fucking seat and shut your cakehole.
Dear ppl who’ve never been pregnant,
YOU CAN GO INTO LABOR IN ANY TRIMESTER; “SECONDS BEFORE LABOR” DOES NOT INDICATE THE AGE OF THE FETUS.
Signed,
A mother who had an abortion
Notice how it’s “sex with a porn star” and not “had an affair.” The subtext is that mere proximity to a sex worker sullies a man’s moral character. It’s christofascist purity bullshit and it’s absolutely bipartisan.
Ppl in crisis so often just need someone to come over and like ... do the dishes.
We don’t need flowers and we don’t wanna talk and we certainly aren’t “distracted” from our shit lives with tales of all the drama at your yoga studio.
A woman was 10$ short on her grocery bill and the cashier *refused* to let me pay it “‘cause this chick needs to LEARN, needs to do WIC better!”
Welcome to this obscene world where poor ppl punish other poor ppl and sell out to fascism.
“Sex work is degrading and humiliating” say folks who steal our stories, twist our words, profit off our lived experiences, and then refer to us as disembodied orifices.
Do you know how many ppl have been blacklisted *for speaking out against sexual assault* in the industry? Cause let me tell you, *those* performers won’t be welcomed back in three years.
Go to hell, evil angel.
Just a reminder that if you’ve never worked in the sex industry, it is 100% not your place to make assumptions abt our clients. Perpetuating the idea that clients are especially gross or bad men is harmful for a million fucking reasons, but mostly please just stay in your lane.
Mr. Rogers was compassionate, wholesome, a friend to children, desexualized, and an American icon.
The reason queer ppl haven’t stopped crying tears of joy since he was revealed to have been bi is because our toxic culture *never* associates the above qualities with queerness.
The funny thing about being a sex worker with a PhD is that radfems first try to convince me that I’m exploited and too dumb to know it and then when I tell them that I wrote a dissertation on sex work and feminism, they accuse me of all manner of infringements.
I’m literally a sex worker and a professor who just got fired for being a sex worker and a professor …
Anyone trying to claim that sex workers in academia are the “affluent” ones is actually insane. In fact, I wrote a whole dissertation about it.
Gawd please just stop.
If you are a trafficking victim, I’m sorry to say that your perspective on sex work broadly is irrelevant. I don’t mean to be cold but rather intellectually consistent. We don’t ask folks trafficked into agriculture what they think about low-paid employees at Taco Bell,
@nytimes
When you ask questions like, “how will Skype distinguish my free, sexy [civilian] calls from those of sex workers?” you personify The Madonna’s everlasting fear—will *I* ever be perceived as The Whore?, she wonders.
Yeah, they’re coming for you, too, bitch.
The false dichotomy between the agency of sex workers and the fight to liberate victims of sexual human trafficking serves one purpose— to perpetuate the belief that women with sexual agency can never be victims of violence and victims of violence can never have sexual agency.
Americans: it’s a constitutional right to deny queer people services
Also Americans: if you deny me a haircut [during a global fucking pandemic], I will storm my state capital with assault rifles
Sex workers have been having this conversation for decades, before tech advances implicated civie women.
If you wanna see how civie women will be treated in the future, look at how sex workers are treated now.
I’ve heard so many stories now about how anxiety over revenge porn is holding women back.
Let’s not give up our power. Let’s recognize that nude photos aren’t rare, and if we want young women to lead, we are going to have to accept them.
“Sex workers sell exploitative images”
Yeah and baristas sell coffee grown by indentured servants who are subjugated to draconian debt laws.
And Taco Bell employees sell tomatoes picked by exploited migrant laborers.
And your clothes come from Global South sweatshops.
I did a local radio interview about my research, which shows unequivocally that decriminalizing sex work is beneficial. If civilians wanna know how fucking hard it is to counter the ideological claims of lucrative religious orgs, here ya go.
I am a feminist.
I love women.
I am queer.
And if I had the cash, I would hire a sex worker for an overnight.
That’s just where I’m at with my sexuality and other preferences rn.
There is nothing shameful or contradictory to any of that.
I was part of a 500k
@TheJusticeDept
grant study on the complexities of sex trafficking. Guess what we found? That literally every single one-dimensional stat is wrong. Despite this being a monumental finding, our multi year research was silenced completely.
It’s wild how literally all I want in a presidential candidate is to have:
1) not sexually assaulted anyone
2) not be a white supremacist
3) not worked to systematically annihilate sex workers
DOES THIS PERSON SRSLY NOT EXIST?
Students at the end of the semester email like:
Hi! MY IVY LEAGUE THESIS IS DUE sex trafficking sex trafficking sex trafficking TELL ME UR TRAUMA NOW PLEEZE oh and tell me a funny story abt ur worst John! teeheehee ALSO I NEED THIS IN 5 MIN YOU ARE WELCOME 4 THIS PLATFORM
Well would you look at that. If only we’d been calling ourselves “surrogate partners” this whole time, maybe we could’ve avoided all that arrest and murder stuff
This is why anti trafficking efforts are NOT about actually helping people. This org literally gets state $ if it can show it’s combating trafficking. And what better way to access those dollars than by conflating all sexual “deviants” with trafficking?
Sex workers are literally paid to perform. There is absolutely no reason why sex workers shouldn’t be hired (and paid handsomely) to play sex-working characters in film and TV.
I remember this feeling I had when my ex threatened to use my sex work as evidence against me in court.
It’s an indescribable feeling, adjacent to other forms of violence against women.
I wish women outside of the sex industry understood this profound connection.
Welp. Got fired from my adjunct job. I’ve been *overly* assured that it’s DEF NOT bc I’m open abt my sex work 🙄
Real curious how many dudes have been labeled “unprofessional” in academia for participating in the sex industry as consumers…
To be fair, sex workers told y’all this was an issue like 15 years ago when surrogates *and* sex workers were lumped into the same category as “debased women who sell [our] bodies.”
Anyway you have your revived Christian temperance second wave feminist friends to thank lol 🤷🏻♀️
The most surprising thing about 2023 and now 2024 is this sudden push back against surrogacy. Never in my life has it been controversial until now. Just admit it you’re homophobic.
If you’re offended by harm reduction re sex work and students, imagine living in a world where sex work is often the only means by which working class people access higher education.
This moral panic is doing exactly what it was designed to do— make women fear everything so they’ll be perennially childlike and in need of patriarchal / moral saviors.
This ain’t how trafficking happens, kids.
sex trafficking is probably the scariest thing about being a girl. im scared to take the trash out when i close at work, im scared to walk to my car leaving work, the grocery store or just being out alone at night anywhere. its terrifying seeing all these young girls go missing
People call me a “single issue” voter because I want representatives in office who support sex workers. My “single issue” is literally that I want to stay alive.
“no homo” bills are being peddled as “no porn in the classroom” bills, which I hope shows once and for all that attacks on the sex industry have ALWAYS been part of a larger scheme to maintain heteropatriarchy in social institutions.
Cyntoia Brown was 16 when she was sentenced to life in prison for killing the man who sex trafficked her (in self defense, obvs) but thanks, America, for always reminding us exactly who “a jury of one’s peers” is.
If you ask for input on sex work and violence, you’re only ever going to get submissions about, well, sex work and violence. We don’t allow this kind of bias in *any* other kind of research. But when it’s the sex industry, confirmation bias (apparently) isn’t a concern.
Reem Alsalem UNSR Violence Against Women and Girls
I am pleased to share that the submissions received in response to the call for input on prostitution and violence against women and girls and for which we have received permission to publish, are now public:
It’s just further evidence that this cultural “debate” about sex work is really just a struggle abt who gets to own the narrative of sex and labor. And as far as I can tell, you’re either on the side of the laborers owning our own narratives or you’re not. It’s that simple.
It blows my mind that
@nytimes
consistently refuses to publish op eds by an actual sex worker. They’ve instead highlighted the voices of true crime enthusiasts, pearl clutching academics, and white saviors with a fetish for heroism who all have vErY sTrOnG oPiNiOns Abt HoOkerS 🤮
The easiest way to get rid of a free society is to present the population with a false dichotomy of either free speech or saving children, wherein ‘children’ are so abstract that nobody is actually saved, nothing actually changes, except that we all willingly give up our rights.
To all the feminists, women’s orgs, Democrats, progressives, and NGOs that support end demand policies, know this: you literally prevent sex workers from turning away clients. YOU SUPPORT TRAFFICKING.
#FOSTA
#EndDemand
#LetUsSurvive
I’ve said this before but I’ll repeat it— if you’re a sex worker and need a reference for anything, I’m happy to put on my “doctor” hat and vouch for you. Just DM me.
In my humble opinion as a sex worker who’s seen many a Republican John, I wanna say that those in power who want to legislate hate are doing so out of some kind of self loathing and not because they think it’ll actually make the world better.
They truly just hate themselves.
When I was a sex worker, creepy men would occasionally dox me, harass me for being a “slut,” etc.
It’s really quite sad how other women, “feminists” even, are the ones who engage in this kind of harassment now.
This “American sweethearts” doc abt the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders illuminates so much abt Americans’ sexual ethos. These girls are paid shit & expected to do all kinds of free labor + join weird ass religious cults + literally not be the owner of their sex appeal.
Liberal concerns abt “overpopulation” are dog whistles in support of eugenics.
There isn’t a person problem on this planet. There’s a capitalist problem.
Remember when Jill Filipovic said “I think sex work is incredibly problematic” ? The piece was praised by professional troll Meghan Murphy. Weird that today her op ed praises Stormy Daniels, steals from SW twitter, annnd the piece quoted above has been removed from all platforms.
Don’t get me wrong. People who’ve been trafficked absolutely should have platforms and deserve compassion. Obviously.
But we don’t make sweeping policies for Taco Bell employees based on the experiences of those coerced into agriculture; we should treat sex work similarly.
Not sure why I feel compelled to put this on Twitter, but three years ago, I thought my brother would be dead in a matter of days. He got sober (with the help of my sex work community) and today he and his partner made me an aunt.
I’m a fucking auntie y’all!!!!
Currently reading this (Washburn herself titled it) and boy HOWDY the critique of the criminalization of sex work at the turn of the century and how that only served to benefit cops and politicians is… illuminating and so damn relevant holy cow
Howdy! I wrote the first and only children’s book to feature a sex working parent. My gloriously illustrated book (art by Elise Peterson) is making its sassy way to bountiful banned book lists this season.
I couldn’t be more flattered!
Just a reminder that this incredible collection of work by sex workers exists. It illuminates the complicated and diverse realities of sex workers and does not eschew hard convos abt exploitation, harm reduction, etc.
🖤🖤🖤
The Sex Worker Syllabus is informed by the core principle “nothing about us without us,” which urges the inclusion of sex worker voices in policymaking, scholarship, and teaching about sexual labor.
#SexWorkerSyllabus
#CiteSexWorkers
1/5
To all the other parents who think queers and sex workers are bad parents, let me present to you the fort of the century.
I’d like to see a straight parent who’s never worked in a club do this 🤪
It’s so disingenuous for *anyone* to say they hate sex work bc it’s sexually exploitative. This world loves an exploited woman so long as she’s not financially benefitting.
“Pole dancers” who try to distance themselves from strippers are like dudes walking on a treadmill at the Y thinking they’re morally superior to an Olympic marathoner.
@kimmiintx
@DiscussingFilm
Bc all y’all ever do online is talk about all the shit you hate. Literally every MAGA on this app is consumed by hate and fear. From bathrooms to books to *literally* a movie about a doll, you’re just an angry, sad sap of a group lol
I feel sorry for you
@HerbsandDirt
All this “proves,” if you can call it that, is that you were around other middle class white people like yourself. A homogenous group with equal access to clean air, good food, and medical care.
When will you ppl realize that anecdotes are not the same as rigorous studies?
How do people in this country rationalize the fact that raping a woman is not, apparently, evidence of one’s moral character but working in the sex industry is?
Y’all got your moral compass (and conceptions of consent) allllllll fucked up.
The effort to conflate a woman who worked as an exotic dancer and adult film actor with a paid sex worker and who gives consent to sex permanently and indiscriminately is problematic. 2/
I worked in the industry before, after, and during my pregnancy and I’ll tell ya this— the absolute *creepiest* shit i encountered was the expansive and grisly imaginations of pick mes like this who imagined my “debasement” and that of my child’s as if they were de Sade himself.
You haven’t witnessed horror until you’ve seen a pregnant woman in prostitution.
Women 8 months pregnant going into a room with man after man - creepy men with pregnancy & lactating fetishes.
No one believed “sex work is work” in those moments. It made it too real to distort.
If you’re a rich celebrity talking about trafficking but not capitalism and imperialism, you’re merely reproducing Hollywood imagery of us vs them, and it’s typically racist imagery to boot.
Trailer & my interview for Every Day in Cambodia.Sadly,kids are trafficked by their own families or people they know more often than not,everywhere in the 🌎 Bravery of survivor kids is astounding 💔 🙏
@AgapeIntMission
holistic work to
#EndIt
And the NYT misses the mark again.
“More than escorts,” “reduced to being [SWers]” perpetuates the cultural believe that prostitution is the bottom of all rock bottoms.
And the author is a man. Not a sex worker. But a man who, uh, likes true crime I guess.
Nope.
#DoBetterNYT
Fuck man. I’m watching this Dolly Parton special abt her life in Appalachia and I’m bawling and really missing my grandmother tonight. Her name was Ethel and she payed the gee-tar and was a survivor of Appalachian poverty. She accepted my queerness and sex work when no one did.
@juniperfitz
@FEC
It's on our platform! My administration will repeal FOSTA/SESTA which puts sex workers at risk, decriminalize sex work, among other priorities that will benefit sex workers. Read here:
I love it when pearl clutching Christians think they’ve stumbled upon some saucy revelation by proclaiming YoUrE a SeX wOrKer AND a MoThEr?!!!!!!
Ma’am. I’ve literally written two books about it, published hundreds of essays about it, and gave a TedTalk about it lmfao
Everything is def fucked rn but I just have to share— my students in Nebraska are seriously everything. Alongside Narcan distribution, they held this sign over the busiest intersection today (cropped for privacy).
The kids are ok.
I keep thinking abt this claim of the “privileged intellectual sex worker” (Pamela Paul’s words 🙄) and yeah, I have waaaay more agency in SW now than when I had less cultural capital.
Is that not an *obvious* example of why our labor should be destigmatized?
This was a great episode until y’all threw sex workers under the bus. I really, really just don’t understand the fucking hate leftists have for us. Mocking ppl that see us and pay us and provide screening info to us is not “insane.” It’s literally how we stay alive.
🖤 Hello lovely sex workers! Just an FYI,
@3Wave
has just opened their sex worker giving circle fellowship. The fellowship includes a $5k stipend and four months of incredible grant and media training. They also provide childcare upon request.
GET IT! 🖤
That’s why normies hate sex workers. Bc we charge for that shit and own our own shit. Literally the only difference between being a “sweetheart” and sex worker is the owner of the means of production.
All these fucking political pundits and their hot takes about “having sex with a porn star” should be worshipping
@StormyDaniels
for being the only person who’s even come close to stopping the tyranny of trump. This country’s hatred of sex workers is truly profound.
Just your daily reminder that it was centrist hero Madeline Albright who said that closing brothels as a symbol of social purity has historically been one of the first things fascist countries do.
Raids, ID verifications online, draconian policies, etc are all examples.
This is why sex workers demand better representation. This book (written by a man, introed by another man, and blurbed only by men) calls us “tarts” when we’re nice and “whores” when we’re not. & the first ten pages are all abt sex workers dying bc yall just can’t enough smh
Listen. People can feel however they want to feel about their own sex work. But sex is not a fucking human right. No person (read, man) has a right to sex. No matter which way you dice it. And I really wish ppl would stop framing sex work as like… disability justice
I just want every sex worker to know that my most problematic conspiracy theory is that there will be a time when we all have to live off the land. And only hos are welcome here in the Midwest where we have veggies, eggs, legumes, a good fire, and weapons. 🤷🏻♀️
So, the incriminating docs about Trump and Epstein— what stands out to me is the way the *prosecutors* called these underage girls “prostitutes.” Imagine if “acting like a hooker” wasn’t stigmatized. Imagine if “acting like a hooker” didn’t mean you couldn’t be raped.