When someone hasn't read a classic book, I always try to say "Oh! What a treat you have ahead of you!" rather than "I can't believe you haven't read this!" because no one wants to be shamed into reading.
We should lead with our delight in literature, not our pretentiousness.
you are not a machine. you are more like a garden. you need different things on different days. a little sun today, a little less water tomorrow. you have fallow and fruitful seasons. it is not a design flaw. it is wiser than perpetual sameness. what does your garden need today?
Me: *reads a lot, has many books, all things considered, a book person*
Person: So, what’s your favourite book?
Me: I cannot think of one book that I have read. I have never read a single book. What are books?
This is your gentle reminder that one time in the Bible Elijah was like “God, I’m so mad! I want to die!” so God said “Here’s some food. Why don’t you have a nap?” So Elijah slept, ate, & decided things weren't so bad. Never underestimate the spiritual power of a nap & a snack.
Being a human is so confusing because you are basically an animal with a soul, so sometimes you're like "am I experiencing a profound spiritual desolation or have I not eaten enough for breakfast? impossible to tell."
Can I let you in on a secret? Most people are lonely. You’re not the only one, so be the brave one! Ask people to coffee, invite them for a home cooked meal, say “you’re so interesting! I’d love to hang out.” You’d be surprised how many people are waiting for that call.
Someone just randomly approached me for advice at the supermarket because “you look like you know what you’re doing with cheese” and I don’t think I’ve ever been more flattered.
Get your girl a Christmas present she’ll really love:
- diamond earrings
- Austen novels
- dress with pockets
- giant wheel of her favourite cheese
- a small castle on a remote Scottish island with a sizeable library and shetland pony for companionship
- philosopher's stone
Me, caffeinated: I don't really think caffeine affects me, I'm more emotionally attached to tea/coffee than anything. It's like a treat.
Me, 11AM no coffee: I have a migraine. Why is everything blurry? How do I spell my last name? Is there a God?
How’s your Thursday going? I’m locked in a coffee shop bathroom. The handle broke. I didn’t have my phone. After banging on the door for a while (I’m in the basement), a customer noticed. The staff tried to get me out but don’t have a screwdriver small enough to remove handle.
Tea, the universal Love Language:
Gifts: Here's a nice box of tea
Quality Time: Why don't we have tea together
Words of Affirmation: Tea is always a good idea
Acts of Service: I made you some tea
Physical Touch: Feel this warm mug full of perfectly brewed tea.
Modern capitalism has so warped our view of time that Mondays are now almost universally associated with drudgery and labour, when it is also a perfectly good day to have a picnic, get lost in the woods, answer a troll's three riddles, & accidentally wed the queen of the fairies.
I think artistic people are often night owls not because they're inherently nocturnal, but because of the great delight of a quiet house. The calm & peace of a sleeping house make space for uninterrupted reading, dreaming, writing. For a dreamer, night is the only time of day.
Waste time this year. Go for long, rambling walks. Write poems. Try a new recipe just because. Pray. Paint. Knit something. Read that big old book. Work on your novel. Our world is obsessed with productivity, but "unproductive" hours are the most soul-shaping parts of our lives.
inside every woman are two desires: to cut all her hair off, or, having done so, to grow it to pre-raphaelite lengths. these are the polarities in which we live. we are never at peace. we constantly pursue the receding horizon of perfect hair length. our hearts are restless.
STOP IT.
STOP SCROLLING.
GET OFF YOUR SCREEN.
Go outside.
Take a walk.
Find an old manor house.
Explore a wardrobe.
Step through a portal to another world.
Meet a fawn.
Defeat the White Witch.
Become a true daughter of Narnia, etc.
if you expect a garden to "produce" things with the same regularity and sameness as a machine, you will be disappointed. if you try to maintain a garden the same way you would a machine, you will destroy it. the same is true of your body and emotional life. give into your garden.
One of my friends says that it's hard to break bad habits because we usually develop them as ways to survive whatever threatened us in the past. So breaking them feels terrifying, like we're going to die. Let that knowledge make you gentle with yourself. Small steps are brave.
Proposal: we start "dressing for dinner" like we're in Downtown Abbey. In our finest evening wear and jewels, we make snide remarks about our distant relations, we 'move into the parlour' (living room) for 'sherry' (literally anything) till it is time to 'turn in' (wash dishes).
When I’m president, there will be tea in every pot, lipstick in every handbag, we'll ban dresses without pockets, and all women will have access to affordable cloaks of rich velvet in which to hide their daggers and love potions.
Christians often focus on marriage as the most important relationship in a person's life. But here's the thing: Jesus never got married. The primary mode of relationship that the perfect human being lived in was friendship. We should probably take friendship more seriously.
Practice preemptive self-care. Don't wait until you are burned out to tend to your needs. Listen to your grumpiness, notice physical cues of weariness— they're trying to save you. Gentle, healthy, soul filling habits aren't a waste of time, they're the foundation of resilience.
This is your annual reminder that many works of art we now consider to be classics (by people like Shakespeare, Mozart, etc), were once popular art, considered crass & common by their more cultured contemporaries. Don't despise art because it's popular. Snobbery isn't good taste.
Let's not be literary snobs. We need different books for different seasons. Sometimes I need a book that will justify the ways of God to men, but sometimes I just need to read about a clever old woman who knits, wears excellent hats, and solves murders in the English countryside.
Growing up, I often heard Mary described as a timid, clueless (if good hearted) teenager. But now I do not believe for one hot second that the woman from whose heart the Magnificat poured was anything other than brave, aware, prepared, holy, & learned in the scriptures.
My New Year Resolutions:
- exersize
- read more
- grow out my long golden tresses
- move to enchanted treehouse palace
- become dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth!
- diminish and go into the West
We would make better dating choices if we imagined ourselves in a Jane Austen novel...
- does he have a steady income? a house in the country?
- is his disposition pleasing?
- how does he treat his family?
- does he have the patronage of the esteemed lady Catherine de Bourgh?
To anyone entering Christmas with a heavy heart: you are not forgotten. You don't have to fake a smile. True friends can make room for your sadness. Be gentle with yourself. Indulge in some small comfort. Be patient. You will not always feel this way. You are loved.
Almost all of Vermeer's paintings are of women doing ordinary things: cleaning, eating, writing letters. He illuminated ordinary moments, showing the glory glimmering beneath.
Today, while you're washing dishes, answering emails, imagine Vermeer painting you. Notice the glory.
Christianity is not a white religion. Its origins were in Palestine. Ethiopia was the first Christian kingdom (301). Some of the most important early theologians were African (Athanasius, Augustine). Demographically, there are three times more non-white than white Christians.
True friends send you surprise packages in the mail filled with mystery novels when you've had a stressful month because they "thought some murder might provide you with some pleasurable escape."
Me *emerging from my room after curling my hair*: you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and DESPAIR!
Roommate *glances up* : yes yes your hair looks nice
Things I love to see at a train station:
- Boyfriends with flowers, awaiting their girlfriends
- Kids with tiny suitcases, looking very official and competent
- Friend reunions, surprise or planned
- Shiny businessmen who might be spies
- People reading books I’d like to own
Here come the twenties! Excited to reclaim flapper dresses, jazz bands, prohibition, moonshine, Belgian detectives, the model T, ennui, French bobs, sparkly headbands, silent films, trying to woo unattainable socialites, and T.S. Eliot. It's gonna be a good decade, folks!
Much of adult life is tedious duties and unresolved existential angst, but sometimes you get to eat french fries and a chocolate shake for dinner with the blissful satisfaction that no one can tell you not to, which is pretty neat.
DID YOU KNOW: Manichees (5th cen. gnostic heretics) were vegans and thought cucumbers were the most spiritual snack because they liberate light particles into the world, thus helping the digestive system free the soul from the body (a good thing for gnostics because bodies=bad).
... the other thing God did was remind him that he was not he was not the last righteous person on earth. How much of our despondence comes from feeling that we are truly alone? Don't give up. You're not the last one. Go and find the righteous remnant and struggle with them.
Everyone needs that one friend with whom they can share everything, talk all night, flee the country, acquire a ship, sail to an Island in the Scottish Hebrides, and spend the remainder of your days raising sheep and building an immense library of ancient books.
STOP apologizing! START thanking!
Instead of "Sorry I'm late" try "Thanks for waiting"
Instead of "Sorry for being sensitive" try "Thanks for understanding"
Instead of "Sorry I concealed my attic wife & left you destitute" try "thanks for marrying me, a byronic dunderhead"
saturdays are for sleeping in, sipping coffee, reading a novel, doing household tasks, answering one or two emails, swelling with panic over all the things you haven't done, throwing your computer in the canal, changing your name, moving abroad, disappearing into the ether.
True Story:
I sit down on the train.
I pull out Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix. So does my seat mate.
We gasp!
"What chapter are you on?" she asks.
"Snape's Worst Memory" I say.
She gasps again! "Me too!"
We read for the next hour in companionable silence.
#newbff
Last minute gift ideas:
- flying broomstick, Nimbus 2000
- weaponry (and healing cordial) to defeat white witch
- prize turkey, size of tiny tim
- useless watch chain and/or hair comb
- phial of light from our most beloved star (eärendil)
- dress with perfectly puffed sleeves
Friends, acquaint yourself with sadness. She is not an enemy. She counts the cost of love. She tells us that things matter. She helps us honour the precious things we lost and never had. She teaches us to grieve the past, to open our hearts to what might be. Sadness is a friend.
the locksmith has arrived and has been swearing heatedly under his breath while fiddling with the lock for the past fifteen minutes.
Shall we place bets on whether this ends with them breaking down the door?
Happy September, friends! I hope you have a pumpkin spiced latte, stare out a window while it rains, decide to re-read the Harry potter books, and find ten dollars in your pocket when you put on your old coat because it's chilly outside. Autumn is best.
get your girl a romantic gift for valentine's day
- flowers
- chocolate
- a fine new frock
- an annual income of 5,000-10,000
- a barouche led by a pair of cream coloured ponies
- a small country estate with plenty of fowl for hunting
- hear me out: closets with shelves in them
deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way: being a governess to his French love child while the homicidal wife he conceals in the attic continually makes attempts on his life and endeavors to burn down the house in which we reside as equals.
One time a friend passed my house and asked "what're you doing?" and I said "waiting for revelations of divine love." only later did I realise I sounded like an insane mystic when, instead, I was simply waiting for amazon to deliver a book by Julian of Norwich.
I am like a medieval peasant. I believe in God, saints, & probably fairies. I'm very into folk stories, cider, & cathedrals. Oh, & I live with an awareness that I could die at the hands of a despotic ruler, so I might as well enjoy life, pray, & find a lot of reasons to feast.
Do not underestimate the power of your words. An offhanded insult can weave itself into a soul's fabric, an honest appraisal of competence can inspire a life of excellence, an expression of loving affection can undo despair. Give your words intentionally, generously, truthfully.
people who say magic isn't real have obviously never made a loaf of bread, never watched the alchemical transformation of flour, yeast, salt, water into spongy dough, doubling in size of its own accord, crisping to golden perfection, satisfying soul and body with glutenous glory.
Things I use as book marks:
- train tickets
- loyalty cards
- receipts
- hair ties
- pens
- ear bud chord
- other books
- cups of tea
- couch pillow
- my pet's paw
- my unwilling sibling
- my powerful memory
- enchanted diadem
Things I don't use as book marks:
- actual bookmarks
Tolkien fell in love with Edith, whom he would eventually marry, when he was sixteen. They would sit together on the second floor of a tea shop and throw sugar lumps into the hats of passersby. When they ran out of sugar, they moved to the next table. True love, folks, true love.
My mom often tells a story about me when I was a child. My family were arguing about something, so four year old me walked in, stood on the couch, and shouted "Everybody STOP! Take a DEEP BREATH and think about JESUS." I feel like someone needs to do that for our entire society.
I want a career but also a wee farm in Scotland where I tend a herd of sheep and children, and rove the purple-heathered highlands, and write poetry while stroking my borders collie's head, listening for the familiar footstep of my heart's home coming up the garden path.
I just realized that Winnie the Pooh is the original Inside Out.
Pooh is Joy.
Piglet is Fear.
Eeyore is Sadness.
Owl is Disgust.
Rabbit is Anger.
And, last but not least... Tigger is Bing Bong.
It's Friday night! Time to party! By which I mean stay inside, sip hot cocoa, watch your favourite BBC mini series while knitting your pen pal a warm winter scarf, stay hydrated, and go to sleep at 9:30PM! YOLO!
One of the best moments of a reader's life is when you realise not all "classics" are serious & sombre, that Dickens is making fun of Copperfield's love life, that Shakespeare just made a dirty joke, that Austen is high brow satire. It's so fun to finally be in on the joke.
Scrooge's redemption begins when he sees himself as a child, and weeps over how lonely and strange he felt, how abandoned he was. In admitting our own griefs, we are more able to be tender-hearted. Indifference to the pain of others, is often indifference to our own pain.
Women belong in the home.
Men belong in the home.
We all belong at home.
The idea that we must pursue meaning & significance in the modern rat race of career is making us sick & sad. We would all be happier & holier if we lived like a loving home was our greatest accomplishment.
I grew up reading a story about a woman who travels the world, planting lupines everywhere she goes. It's a lonely little tale; she's often sick, lonely, never quite at home, yet she leaves a trail of beauty behind her. I think of her when life is grey. How can I plant lupines?
Ash Wednesday is coming! Make sure you know all the hip Lenten Lingo.
LOL: Liturgically Observe Lent
BRB: Bring Repentance Back
ASAP: Apply Sign of Ashes Pronto
TGIF: Thank God In Fasting
LMAO: Let My Almsgiving Overflow
TLDR: The Lord Did Rise!
Me: When you see a vase of flowers doesn't your heart just break because they're so beautiful & already dying? Makes you think about the fleeting nature of life. To give a friend a flower is to remind them of their death.
Friend: I'm sorry I brought flowers?
Me: no I love them
Tulips die so dramatically. Other flowers just shrivel but tulips are like "Lo! My end draws nigh! Soon,I shall depart from this earthly realm. Look! My stems bend low, my petals fall, one! two! my stench, the odor of my soul departing from my flesh vessel! goodbye, cruel world!"
People make adulthood sound terrible, but you also get to drink wine and wear nice clothes for no reason if you want to and become really knowledgeable and passionate about dutch ovens, which is pretty great actually.
Ways to avoid arguing with family this Thanksgiving:
- Ask about hobbies instead
- Try a board game
- Watch entire LOTR extended edition
- Go into the woods to live deliberately
- Ransom yourself to the Fairy Queen & request she send a changeling in your place
- Vow of silence
I’m attempting to ruthlessly downsize my library in preparation for an imminent move, the only problem is that each of the books has a soul and it might hurt their feelings if I gave even one of them away :/
I don't know who needs to hear this but...
- put the kettle on
- rinse your china mug with boiling water
- insert tea bag (Yorkshire)
- pour boiling water DIRECTLY on tea bag
- steep four minutes
- add one teaspoon sugar and a splash of milk
- everything is going to be okay
Women, you can be strong, independent, and bold, but you can also be tender, loving, and gentle. In our urgency to prove to the world that women are humans, we needn't pressure ourselves to be super human. You can have needs, fears, quirks. There are many kinds of strong woman.
I love how very young babies look like tiny philosophers, their murky little eyes studying unseen objects, their brows knit with slight concern. Such pensive little lumps of humanity.
As a teen, I had no iPhone, no social media. I spent hours listening to music, reading, learning how to play my favourite songs, thinking about God, staring at the ceiling feeling existential. It was the making of me.
I pity a generation deprived of that blessed boredom.
have a beautiful experience, and don’t share it on social media. tuck it in your pocket, keep it like a secret. pull it out on drizzly day and turn it around in your hand saying “this is my very own.” walk through the world with a canary in your pocket, whose song only you know.
When I was 9 years old, a boy yanked my pigtails in science class. In retaliation, I absolutely clobbered him on the head Anne of Green Gables style. I'll never forget the look of genuine shock.
Please tell me about the things you did as a child to emulate a fictional character
Much of adulthood is monotonous drudgery, bill paying, and painstaking personal growth, BUT from time to time you get to say "I want french fries and coke for dinner and NO ONE can stop me" and that is a small consolation.
Today I left the house without a book. After lunch I was tempted to buy a book so I could go sit and read it in a coffee shop. But I have so many books at home. So I went home to make an espresso and read the books I already own. Please clap.
I never kissed dating goodbye, or, in fact, hello. I merely requested that gentleman callers leave their tokens of admiration in the foyer for the perusal of my stern governess who, after a period of 6-10 business days, will contact them regarding the outcome of their advances.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but The Muppet Christmas Carol with Michael Caine and the Great Gonzo, is definitively the best adaptation of the Dickens Classic.
There's an assumption that happy people aren't deep, that if you've really got a handle on the world you'll be knowing, tragic, cynical. But I tend to think being cynical is the path of least resistance. It's harder (and better?) to cultivate joy which sustains you and others.
hey pals, you are not morally obligated to binge watch the world burn. in fact, don't. take a break from time to time, tend to your soul, watch your feel-good movie, breathe deep. one more peaceful soul (you!) is just what the world needs right now.
Kind people have good imaginations. They enter into the experience of others. We call them "thoughtful" because they spend time thinking about how other people feel, pondering the poetics of personality, anticipating needs & desires. What a beautiful habit of thought.
Power Naps: 10-15 minutes, unsatisfying, impossible, the energy boost equivalent of -1.5 cups of tea.
Powerful Naps: Three or four hours. Can’t remember who you are. Wake up in a different age. Aragorn is King. Sauron has been vanquished. Time to rebuild the Shire.
The gentle seasons begins today. It is a slow time, a time for rainy days, pumpkin muffins, gothic novels, oversized sweaters, Celtic music, and even more tea than usual. Welcome back, Autumn. It’s good to have you.