Bet haaland’s bird still gives it you haven’t lifted a fcuking finger around this place all week after he’s banged in 66 goals in 7 days. There’s just no pleasing them.
McGregor fight at 5am Sunday morning. Just think if you were a PT you’d have been to the bay for a photo shoot, read 7 pages of a David goggins book & still have an hour to get shit done before the fight even starts.
Seen a girl from school haven’t seen her since I was 15 she said joe you’ve put weight on.
Yes I have youre right but I kissed your ma in Robinson’s last year so split
Over 2 weeks ago my granny tested positive for COVID19 at 82 years of age and a lot of underlying health conditions we thought we were going to visit her for the last time after lots of tears and a tough few weeks
She’s covid free
TEARS OF JOY
#NANAFUCKINGROSE
#HERO
Was in the pub yesterday covid19 was there talking away to everyone as he does. Just before he left he said you lot are lucky this place sells food or I would have infected you all
Close one
Rang my mate last night. He said I’ll call you back I’ve to climb over these gates at yorkgate to get the car.
I said how you getting car out if gates are locked?
He said other entrance is opened sure.
I said why you climbing the gates then?
He said right enough.
@jamesenglish0
James you need to seriously & I mean seriously catch a grip of yourself entertaining the likes of that. Scraping the bottom of the barrel. Pathetic.
Young lads go to England play football buy 2 cars & 16 watches flash it all over social media then end up working in Tesco.
Carl frampton went right to the top has made a fortune and still behaves like he’s working in Tesco.
How people give him stick is beyond me
#Legend
Got myself another son on Wednesday. Absolutely besotted. For the life of me cannot understand any man that has a kid & chooses not to be in their life. The greatest feeling in the world. Have slept 2 hrs since Wednesday & couldn’t be happier. Amazing this 💚
Every time I see teams come and go like this Liverpool side now it reminds me that Alex Ferguson is untouchable. He could’ve turned up at Brentford with a midfield of brown O’Shea and the da silva twins & got a 4-0 win
No one comes close
Yo, if she gets herself a Starbucks gets into her Audi a1 takes a picture of the Starbucks and her Audi steering wheel And captions it “needed this”
Bro she’s a dog. She belongs to the streets
Noah’s first match of the season today. I sat him down & said you’re only a kid it’s all about enjoying today. I don’t care if you lose 40-0 as long as you have fun. Embrace the occasion
We both burst out laughing
Wired into them & win at all costs or there’s no dinner for ye
We can confirm that highly-rated academy prospect Noah McDonnell has joined SPFL Premiership side
@AberdeenFC
for an undisclosed fee.
Everyone at the club wishes Noah the best of luck on the move and his career going forward 🤞
📸
@AberdeenFC
#WeAreLarne
#ForTheTown
See the year im due to get married I can 100% guarantee that there won’t be a pandemic and the wedding will just go ahead as planned.
That’s the type of bad luck I have
This is life, fit healthy rugby player to that in the blink of an eye. Don’t waste it. Surround yourself with good people at some point you might need them. Have a good weekend.
Was down the newlodge there a kid about 8 walked outta the house with a cigarette in his mouth and said have you a light mister.
I said I’m going into tell yer ma son. He said I already asked her she doesn’t have a light 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Doubt the new variant will go there
See no matter how small or big you think your problem is go and speak to someone about it. They care and they listen. It might take time but you’ll get there. It can be fixed
Every tribute you read of that kid would break your heart what a lovely young gentleman.
My mate taught Noah, would answer questions in class & my mate would need to check the book.. more intelligent than the teacher
Such a loss. Beautiful kid inside and out 💚💚💚
Sunday at the pub Guinness flowing match is on the craic is 90 starting to get a bit rowdy bar man is giving off stink the juke box is about to take a hammering wives on the phone saying when will you be home some stinker at the bar eating cheese and onion tayto. Miss it all.
Told my granny I’d get her a chippy on Tuesday & forgot. My granny can’t remember who I am most days so she’d hardly remember the chippy.
Called in to see her there. She says I’m still waiting on that chippy ya ballix.
Would make you think wouldn’t it?
The IRA for years have been accused of robbing the northern bank but the more I think about it
Does anyone know where Barry mcguigan was on the 19th / 20th December 2004
Imagine going to Australia to change your life. Get up for work at 4am to work on a building site in 77 degrees heat.
Meet up with a load of people from Belfast & get steaming every weekend
Imagine how life changing that would be
Twins from the strand booked a covid test. 2 hours a part. Same twin went to both tests. Got results back. Positive and a negative.
Would make you think wouldn’t it?
Woke up fully clothed on the bed texted the wife & said can I come home she said no stay in Smicker’s and drink yourself to death
Trick question and she fell right into it. I’m only doing what you said.
BUN DES LIGAAAA gis 24 cockshore and packet of bacon fries
Guys I’m out taxiing tonight until 5am then clocking off for a breakfast at dino’s cafe. You know the craic by now £20 no matter where in Belfast you’re going. If it’s 4 minutes or 40 minutes it’s £20. A boshhh - plus don’t give me shrapnel NOTES ONLY. A bosh again.
Any hardliners in this day in age will struggle. DUP, dissent groups etc. not enough ppl care. We just wanna see our kids happy & healthy, get on the odd holiday & enjoy a pint with our mates. Life is hard enough don’t get caught up in the minority. Very sad way to live. UTGG
Was at Wee bar in Ibiza and my mate was flying off his face telling me about his Sunday dinners. I get potatoes veg and chicken. Girl behind the bar said I prefer turkey. He turned to her chewing his ears and said me too I’ve been to marmaris 3 time’s
The good old days
#Flying
Im a 35 yr old man with 1 million problems I shouldn’t care when people say Ronaldo is better than messi but it actually annoys me beyond explanation. How can you watch them & come to that conclusion it traumatises me.
I’ve said this before but seen 1 time NI was voted the 4th ugliest looking nation in the world. In coleraine this morning & I’m amazed there’s 3 uglier nations than us.
How 🤣🤣🤣
My gran went to hospital 2 months ago. She then went to a care home for the first time in her life. No one has been allowed to visit due to virus. Just got a FaceTime call with her. Seen her face for the first time in month.
Can’t stop crying. Hopefully this can all end soon.
Not on Facebook but been sent a picture of a guy called Simon Todd posting a picture of me my friends and my son in the grove playing fields playing football calling us dissident republicans.
Please could some get me a number for this fella ASAP
Got the chance to go & see my gran at her care home. First I’ve seen her in months. They wheeled her out on a balcony to look down at me.
I said they’ve wheeled you out like you’re the queen
She said I see you’re still a prick
The greatest of them all
#Rose
Fantastic drink. Best of the lot. Tastes delicious anyone saying anything else is a knobhead. Most enjoyable October to March. Cold day open fire pint of Guinness hard to beat… unless of course you’re a knobhead.
If at 100 I had the opportunity to go to Barbados and then die shortly after You can guarantee I’d be there probably trying to die while im there overdozing on the single malt Irish whiskey & good vibes.
We all die in the end. It’s important to live
#OnYaBoyYe
There’s always a scapegoat at Liverpool ALWAYS!!!
Always one players fault for their loss. Goalkeeper last night.
What’s that famous song they sing and get it tattooed on their knuckles?
YNWA - unless we loss then we’ll throw you under bus - 👍🏼
Literally barred about 50 people from bittles today & the funny thing about it is the last time I was in he threw me out for standing to close to the bar 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hate starts at home. My wee lad goes Irish school supports Celtic plays for linfield and one of his best mates is a rangers fan, goes to watch newington & The welders in his spare time lolololol
He seems happy enough. Non the wiser. Who cares. Up the good guys. Happy Saturday.
broke out in wat looks like a heat rash. Got dizzy sweaty itchy. Rang my ma to ask wat it could be. She said did you eat a strawberry I said yes she said aye that’s wat it is your allergic to them, you got sent home from school as a kid with it too
I’m 34 & she’s just told me 🤣
Some kid burped through my car window down the newlodge there and it was vile. Ratten!
I said yer breath is bouncing son.
He said yer ma is bouncing & yer car is shite.
Ya Win some, ya lose some
Pretending to be offended by Herron to point score, pretending to be offended by lafferty to point score pretending to be offended by Conor to point score… the weird thing is it’s the the hardcore nationalist and loyalist who do it.. who are up to their necks in same behaviour
BREAKING: Hearing strong suggestions Conor McMenamin will be withdrawn from the NI squad today due to a social media video several years ago. Where does this end?
Reading bergkamp book & he’s talking about mastering his touch by kicking a ball against a wall for hours..
Wanna try kicking a ball against a wall in the short strand Dennis...
Won’t be long before you’re told to fuck off round yer own door!!!
I’m taking a break from twitter for a while. It’s very tiring trying to annoy people all day everyday.
I seen 2 fellas eyeballing me yesterday & knew I called one of them a melon on here few weeks back. Too dangerous.
Have a great new year Guys
#WearAMask
If some parents realised that the likely hood of their son, my son or anyone’s son making it as a footballer was slim to none they might not be so pathetic and stop begrudging kids for getting opportunities.
Can’t you just be happy to see any kids give it a go.. gripes
Prediction. DUP will wanna go in line or as close to as Boris road map out so we all appear to be more British. SF will wanna go later. They like to be seen as the “good guys” life savers. Also doing their own road map out makes us more Irish.
us normal folk stuck in the middle
Great to see the support for young Noah out there if only our elected politicians showed some support to their own people and took a day off from American politics his poor mother might get some answers.
My cat “winks” died on Sunday & we buried him in the garden.Every night I’ve been putting 2 drops of CBD oil on his grave. This is hard to believe but winks has just climbed through the cat flap looked me in the eye & said meow
Miracle oil. Only £299 for 10ml. DM if interested
Fancy Belfast for my stag lads? The clubs close at 1. The door men won’t let us in. If you ask a woman does she want a drink she’ll call you a creep. it’s as dear as London & everyone calls ya bro.
No sorry no casinos or strip clubs but Tesco will be open at 1pm on the Sunday.
I’ve seen about 700 women crying and devastated on social media that their wedding has been cancelled due to billy ray virus
Check their fellas social media and they are picking their best 11 premier league side not a word on wedding
WHEN YOUR LUCKS IN
Would love to play Sunday league or something for a bit of craic but this is mental, a family to provide, kid to run after & a job to get to, some melon thinks he’s the teams hard man because he tackles like this.. tramp. Not worth it
He gave us some of the best moments. There is no words to describe the impact a dog can have on people’s lives. No more suffering buddy 💚 completely ruined
One day as you’re maturing you get yourself a coffee & it just tastes and feels amazing. Now you’re completely invested in coffee. Most of your week evolves around coffee. You’ve no idea how you got here because at one time in your life you hated coffee. Weird.
Football has been one of the biggest disappointments in my life. Has caused me a lot of stress. Made a lot of bad choices. Wrong decisions. Wasted opportunities.
One thing we can all agree on is you meet some of your best mates through it and for that alone it was worth it all
Every1 wants to be rich & famous, wants to be an entrepreneur, wants to dress in designer clothes & feels the need to have cars they can’t afford. Yet spending time with your loved ones doing the simple things are the things that make you truly happy. Generation is fcuk’d
Don’t get this. Fs not everything in life needs to be fluffy. There was needle in the game. 1/4 final of a World Cup and emotion high. Let’s all hug swap shirts and be graceful. The whole world like a big rainbow now.
Decided to become a counsellor today. I’ve 2 options.
1. Study for 6 years & intake 500 work experience hours & pass 5 exams
Or
2. Do a 12 week personal training course.
#Help
#AnyAdvice
The difference in what some people think was a working class upbringing is mental. She thought driving a rolls was working class & I was having crispy pancakes every single night for my dinner for 8 years.
David Beckham calls out wife Victoria for saying she grew up ‘working class’ in new Netflix docuseries:
“Be honest! What car did your dad drive you to school in?”
Remember the IRA putting me on curfew in 2001. Lying in bed at 7pm on a summers night hearing the Poke man’s music outside the door & being too scared to go out for a 99er.
19 years on
#WhodaThunkIt
Out in town having food there. Couple sits beside us.
The gal is drinking a pint of Guinness and the guy is drinking a blue WKD
Everything is fucked at the minute
Had a table booked in Mumbai 27 for 8:20 told the lads during the week on WhatsApp group. Arrived down tonight dressed to the 9s and someone cancelled my table 🤣🤣🤣
Who needs enemies- home for pizza
@BelTel
My uncle John. A stand up guy & should I say totally right. Anyone buying a coke should be barred for life. Stay at home let the drinkers drink.
Any bonfires put up and lit last night has nothing and I mean nothing to do with being a nationalist. A republican. It’s nothing to with internment and for the record NO ONE in the communities want them besides the people that put them up and that is a bunch of scumbags
#Enough
Girl walking her dog down the shore road there looked like a kardashian nearly put the car into the lamppost trying to get a look.
Had to spoof to wee lad was trying to see what type of dog it was.
Aye no sweat daddy 🤣🤣
Would appreciate it if all non professional ballers took out their ex clubs in their bio and update it with their real jobs
Current postman for north down previously delivered mail in east and south Belfast
I would turn this world upside down. I sincerely hope that woman one day gets the answers she needs. Naked in a storm drain. Imagine that was your child…
My granny who has been bed ridden for 3 years had her first drop of CBD oil this morning. Just called to drop her dinner off and she’s in living room dancing to Bee Gees night fever
#MagicInABottle
link in bio for 20% off use promo code FULLASHIT
Big gal is insisting on talking to me about baby names. What names do you like joe? 6.07am smorning. I said Cecil she says be serious I said I am serious she says right if you wanna get on like that I’ll just not ask ya… amazing how easy it is. Have a great day all.