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JMcD Profile
JMcD

@jomcd70

6,220
Followers
4,450
Following
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Media
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Statuses

Always take stones out of your shoes, that’s good advice. Proud inductee of #EBHat 🧢 club. #BriansForIndy

Joined November 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
“All people are born as originals but many die as photocopies” Carlo Acutis. Celebrate difference, be individual, break moulds, cause waves, create change.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Business? Fuck it. Covid? Fuck it. NHS? Fuck it. Corruption? Fuck it. N.Ireland? Fuck it. Football? Whatever action necessary.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
I found the Truss pie!
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Turns out ‘Local Conservatives’ are the party’s value brand.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
I heard Ruth Davidson is opening a pub up north, she’s calling it - The Bar O’Ness.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Jesus, it’s so hot in my garden even Prince Andrew would be sweating.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 months
‘Get Westminster to Fuck’ is a catchy billboard slogan.
@OlafSNP
Olaf Stando 🌻
2 months
People make Glasgow.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
7 months
Just to let you all know that the hate & harassment has gone a step beyond & Janey Godley has deactivated her long held, huge following account. She says hi to all the cool people.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Today I will mostly be being 51!🥳🥳
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@jomcd70
JMcD
1 month
Royals ❌ Bankers ❌ Billionaires ❌ Millionaires ❌ Super Rich ❌ Pensioners ✅ Disabled ✅ Children ✅
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Pinched, one of the funniest things you’ll see today 😂
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
I’ve had a shadow hanging over me for a while but just had a lovely letter from SNHS telling me I have no pre-cancerous or cancerous cells, so relieved. Still have further investigations to go through but it’s much, much less of a worry now.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 months
🎵What’s the story, mourning Tory 🎶
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@jomcd70
JMcD
7 months
Just heard someone on the radio saying food prices have dropped for the 1st time in a while, I missed who it was, and that this is good news. Everything in my message basket is more expensive this past week than the previous. It is simply not true, who believes this guff??
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
To A Bowie- Oh wee sleekit, smug of face, Aboon them aw ye tak yer place of those with brains gey hard to trace, Yer loyalties are aw a guddle, yer decency shallower than a puddle, Oh tae see oorsels as ithers wud, Ye cowerin, fearted, timorous Tory fud.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
50 today, hauf a hunner, hooray 😁
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Can we please spare a moment to think of the family of Olivia Pratt-Korbel, aged 9, whose funeral is today. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing your child, especially in such circumstances. My heart goes out to them 💕
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@jomcd70
JMcD
5 months
@DrFrancesRyan Jesus Christ. I knew a mum whose son’s school photo was airbrushed to remove his cleft scar, needless to say the school never used the company again.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
So, you’re actually telling me the light goes out when the fridge door shuts?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
All the Scottish folk going “turnip, carrot, lime…” 😂
@DadJokeMan
The Dad Joke Man
2 years
Bumped into Neil Diamond in the supermarket...
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
One of my neighbours has her Christmas decorations up, house lit up like George Square. It’s Ocfuckingtober!!
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
This 51 year old just got asked for ID buying wine, living my best life 😂
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
If you’re Scottish & voting Tory, here’s a reminder of what they think of you. #DontVoteTory
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
This is my gorgeous wee girl, a hospice ambassador no less (!), handing over a cheque for £800, raised by her school selling Christmas items, to support St.Andrew’s Hospice. So proud 💖⭐️
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JMcD
4 years
If you’re upset by #KeepTheHeid then you are clearly #AffYerHeid and can go and #BoilYerHeid
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JMcD
3 years
Hitting a ball over a net with a racket doesn’t make you special, it makes you a tennis player. #DjokovicOut
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JMcD
3 years
Was Andrew’s TV makeup done by Dulux?
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JMcD
4 years
Correct me if I’m wrong, but these fish & shellfish the gunboats will protect, are those the ones normally boxed up on ice & sent in truckloads weekly to Spain & France?
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JMcD
4 years
I wonder who actually thought up and paid for the ice stunts in Glasgow and Edinburgh last night, something dodgy going on there.
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JMcD
3 years
@bbclaurak This isn’t journalism, it’s a diary entry.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
@Effiedeans That’s absolute nonsense, all the signs are bilingual, Gaelic in yellow, English in stark bright white. I was there when they were being replaced. Anyway, there’s one road in and out, if you got lost and can’t read signs perhaps you should try public transport?
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JMcD
2 years
@CatharineHoey An extra jumper won’t keep your fridge/freezer on. An extra jumper won’t cook your dinner. An extra jumper won’t help you see in the dark. An extra jumper won’t give you hot water. An extra jumper won’t charge devices for kids’ homework. An extra jumper won’t pay standing charges
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JMcD
2 years
If you see nothing wrong here, there’s something wrong with you.
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JMcD
4 months
@terrychristian Why is a backbench MP on tv so much? Surely she has pressing constituency work to be getting on with.
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JMcD
3 years
Big Arlene is walking & it’s not even the 12th of July.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Pits closed- communities & families destroyed, coal bought from abroad Fossil fuels- plundered from Scottish Nth Sea Energy- privatised & low rate VAT Post Office- privatised Rail- for profit, not service Council houses- sold with no further investment I’m not laughing, are you?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Phasers set tae alky.
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JMcD
3 years
I’m being brave & jumping out my no makeup comfort zone here. I’ve just washed my hair & scrubbed my face, I’m 51 next month & finally, after years of seeing an unattractive face in mirrors, only seeking flaws, accepted that this is me & I’m actually just fine.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Oil prices dropped like a stone over the weekend & yet my local BP filling station is charging £2.01.9p per litre of diesel, because the Tories have lost control of the economy & Sterling will soon be worth less than Monopoly money.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
If you have a problem with photo 1 but not photo 2, you have serious problems because neither photo is a problem.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
@AuthorMonika Just Scottish, Scotland is a country, Britain isn’t, it’s not a nationality it’s a mindset.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Remember when Historians were actual Historians?
@thecoastguy
Neil Oliver
4 years
Remember when a bag of crisps had some crisps in it?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
You know when some wummin down the street orders stuff out the Kay’s Catalogue using your address & makes it look like you owe the dosh? That’s GERS made easy for eejits.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Sorry MPs, you can’t have that pay rise but here, have this fridge magnet in honour of your hard work.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Wee reminder- UK is not a nation. England is not Britain/British. There is a border. Scotland is a country. Johnson is a fraud. Child prostitution is actually rape. “Foul behaviour” is actually rape. Wearing a mask saves lives. Darren Grimes is a wankstain. Neil Oliver is a fud.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Guy on radio Scotland earlier, nightclub owner, says clubs are safer to open than gyms because, wait for it....people don’t touch things or other people in clubs. 🙈
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JMcD
2 years
If the war in Ua (we are not active in) is so important to the Tories, why are they on holiday?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Where did that wee lassie go, what happened to you? Life came at you fast, in years you grew, And now today, you’ve turned 52!
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Spy balloon.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Today’s trip to Morrisons saw me forget dog food so I gave him the chicken meant for my dinner & I’m drinking the Jura I bought instead.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
While I’m on a rant roll, why didn’t the speaker tear him a new one for the “Vladimir Corbyn” comment? Disgusting.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
That new Action Man figure is a bit shite, eh?
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JMcD
1 year
When I told someone yesterday that they could bet their bottom dollar that a Tory, somewhere, would be making money from the emergency alert test, I knew that I’d be proved right today, and I was!
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Just been out on the bike. Bike for sale. 😂😂😂
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Four chancellors.
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JMcD
4 years
“If we fight amongst ourselves, the monster will kill us all” Please don’t let this be yet another shooting ourselves in the foot moment, the prize is just too close.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Sure, Thérèse Coffey might not be the prettiest BUT her treatment of the sick, disabled & poorest in society & her covert denial of suicides as a direct result of her policies is much, much uglier.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
While everyone was concentrating on the parties, a woman’s crocodile tears & plan B, the Nationality & Borders Bill was rushed through, the Tories were fined almost £18K for the wallpaper donation, Erasmus outsourced. Now there’s a baby thrown in the mix. Smoke & mirrors!
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
@alexmassie Is that your Tinder bio?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Was at the supermarket there, bought a lot of booze but threw a loaf in my trolley so I don’t look like a jakie 😂
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
When Johnson claimed to be Churchillian, did he mean blackouts & ration books?
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JMcD
4 years
I love football and I’d never deny a happy fan their moment in the sun but the scenes from yesterday and this evening are a disgrace. Almost 3 months since everything closed & just turning a corner then, bam, idiocy rises to the surface. All under the eye of the police too, wtf?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Jeezo, I’ve done the bells, seen in the new year & had a nice time and I haven’t even been over the border!
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JMcD
3 years
Liz Truss? She’d struggle to negotiate her exit from a one way street.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
@JonathanPieNews @Stuart_Hood It is. Very. Telling democracy to SHUT UP on one side of the house, whilst ignoring autocracy on the other side of the house is SO embarrassing. Fucked we are, indeed.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Wank towels, get yer wank towels, 2 fur a pound, 2 fur a pound!!
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JMcD
4 years
Went to Morrisons for bacon, spent 30 quid, I haven’t got bacon.
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JMcD
3 years
Just when you think they can’t rip the pish out of us any deeper…Sir Gavin Williamson…really?
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JMcD
2 years
I dunno about you but sending people to accommodation centres for resettlement processing sounds a bit Reich-like to me.
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JMcD
3 years
Pricey……………Priceless.
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JMcD
3 years
The folk buying a fiver of fuel at the garage are the same ones who bought 72 toilet rolls last March.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Twitter just asked if I wanted to review this tweet but not the original one by Javid although his is offensive to the families of over 150K people.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
‘Stop the Boats’ on Holocaust Remembrance Day. Really?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
In a short interlude from politics, here’s my freshly done, filter free do.
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JMcD
3 years
When it’s bring your Snivelling Subservient to work day.
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JMcD
4 years
Scotland, the only country in the world where, if you were born there, people from other countries tell you that you’re wrong about your nationality & that it isn’t a country.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Australian band ‘Men At Work’ to be renamed ‘Party Boys’ in bid to stay current.
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JMcD
2 years
So far we have- Fishy Rishi Penny Mutant Tom Tugmycolonialhat Jeremy Rhyming-Slang Nadine Dormant Swellin Brainlesswan Liz Pus Sell-it Javid Grant Shapeshifter Nadhim Zahothorsey Who else is in the mire?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Remember, for many, Christmas isn’t just about who they can spend it with but those they can’t. Thinking about all of you with an empty seat ❤️⭐️❤️
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
New national anthem announced for England final- Ring A Ring O’ Roses.
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JMcD
4 years
Je suis écossais, allez le poisson.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
1 year
If you’re considering voting Labour in Rutherglen, be aware that in North Lanarkshire they’ve just paid off nearly 150 teachers & are removing school transport provision for 1,000s of children.
@TheGrimm5
Grimm Reaper Ft. Cerberus the Dug
1 year
GRIMM NEWS EXCLUSIVE @mgshanks has confessed that even if he is successful in the Rutherglen and Hamilton West by-election they'll be nothing he can do to mitigate @LabourParty policy on the big issues that effect his constituents. He said "As an MP I have to obey the whip."
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JMcD
2 years
@DeborahMeaden Glow in the dark after consuming radioactive veg, thereby saving money on electricity.
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JMcD
2 years
By the way, just thought I’d say , I stand with #NazaninZaghariRatcliffe
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JMcD
3 years
Impersonating a police officer is a criminal offence, as is impersonating a prime minister. Get this shambles on a one way ticket to oblivion.
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JMcD
6 months
People know George Galloway isn’t left-wing, right?
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JMcD
2 years
Hard day for James.
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JMcD
2 years
@Peston @JackieMackay17 Robert, you’ve managed to slip the words “blow” & “job” into your tweet, are you trolling the PM?
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
The bigger the dog, the bigger the shite. #Bigdog
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Who remembers when living in a house as cold as a mortuary was something to brag about? Me neither.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
It’s my wee girl’s (Clodagh) birthday today, she absolutely loves @TheRock (says she could take him in a fight any day by biting his knees 🤣). I know it’s a long shot but it’d make her day if he saw this & wished her a happy birthday 🤞🙏🙌🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💖
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Let me get this right... Statues, boarded up & protected ? Women handcuffed & arrested.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
I’ve just spilled very nice wine on the kitchen worktop & in a bid to save it I licked it up! That’s how I roll 🍷🍷😅
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@jomcd70
JMcD
4 years
Yes, so tolerant.
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@LordAshcroft
Lord Ashcroft
4 years
We were once a tolerant country...
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
FINALLY!!!!! I feel honoured to have reached such a momentous status 😂
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Who died and made her the queen?
@trussliz
Liz Truss
3 years
Wishing everyone in the UK and around the world a merry Christmas 🇬🇧 🌎
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Wee boy made a daisy crown at school for me today. Aw.
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JMcD
2 years
@MitchellCMM @GBNEWS I wouldn’t worry pal, I doubt anyone will see it.
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JMcD
2 years
@LBC Regrets? She’s had a few, but then again tofu to mention.
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@jomcd70
JMcD
2 years
Neighbour has her Christmas decorations up, repeat, neighbour has her Christmas decorations up! 🎅🏻🎄✨
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@jomcd70
JMcD
3 years
Just popped into a local butcher’s shop and the butcher said “are you that JoMcD from twitter who never smiles in photos and swears a lot?” I love your feed, have a pound of sausages on the house, keep you going. This sort of thing happens a lot, my freezer’s full of sausages.
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