John McCallen @johnmccallen Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@Evropa2

John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

Hi, it’s me. Also I’m a gardener 👨🏻‍🌾

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

One-day project: waterwise steppingstone succulent herb garden. #DIY #landscaping #gardening #handymen

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

Basic Zinnia content.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

Adding edibles to the biological filtration of a custom patio ecosystem pond #landscaping #gardening #socal

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@nemanjaYVR Madame PeePee Lady 😂 currently knocking every bottle she can find off the shelf in the other room I can hear it

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

9 years

http://t.co/E2q9gnG9nL

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@unconquerablet1 Varies season by season but now the tropical waterlilies are really shining

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

3 years

Menu raising far more questions than it answers

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@MeatSawce I’ve got just the tool for the job

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@angrydikdik Some no-name Amazon deal 😂

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I want a fitbit, but for the irreparable damage I'm doing to the environment.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

13 years

And then she showed up to the party without her own vanity url shortener: HOW EMBARRASING!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

San Francisco is a place where the cash register at the thrift store has a 27 inch Apple LED Cinema display monitor.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Still do! @washingtonpost : Happy 125th birthday, Eiffel Tower! Remember when people hated you? http://t.co/G3FAnqOYNz http://t.co/ZHP9bkA9hU

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Fill in the blanks. http://t.co/dQ106tkju8

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Whatever the opposite of this feeling is, I want that.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@nemanjaYVR @reidiculouz But like, a Ryan Murphy Jeffrey Dahmer (Evan Peters, I’m guessing?)

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I'm not in Italy, AGAIN.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I'm ready to be gentrified.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@ds00za @nemanjaYVR She’s a serval, but she’s a female and even for a girl a bit small so in the range of typical Savannah

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

13 years

Mobile. Social. Bieber. Organic. Pivot.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Shining bright with @ShawnWolfeXXX and @craigmcf http://t.co/cbD6iPJ

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Sadly, we will never know what the fuck is wrong with everyone.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

I hate everything! :)

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

AngiesList is some white nonsense.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

You've got to stop doing air quotes when you're drinking. http://t.co/KOq5ayO6

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I think today I'm just going to look at pictures of people doing yoga

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

9 years

Nope just kidding I was locked out of a Taco Bell that could best be described as "airport adjacent"

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Let's not have a kiki, and say we did!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Please update your LinkedIn profile pic IMMEDIATELY.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

As usual, I don't know or care how to react to that, other than shrug and suggest we go to Panda Express.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

If you are smoking a cigar you are only embarrassing yourself

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Let's get drunk and do something stupid with the stock market

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Is this Hakasan?

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

9 years

"This is a game changer: sucking it up through your mouth" - an actual medical dr.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@nemanjaYVR “I don’t hate the Dutch, I love the Dutch, that’s why I hold them to a higher standard!” ❤️❤️

Better Off Ted Veronica and The Dutch

Veronica and The Dutch

www.youtube.com

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

I really want to see Briney Spears on the ADA pool lift.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

You're still pending, bro.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

God forbid we see an actual bird at the Bird Observatory

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

My primary delusion at this point is that I deserve to be rich.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Well this is just horrifying! http://t.co/6aDw7OHm

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

We are the lucky ones

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

2 years

@resznor Both! IMO a beautiful garden has a thoughtful foundation of trees and shrubs and a mix of annual and perennial plants providing color and interest year over year and in each season. Cosmos, zinnias, larkspur and linaria are some of my fave annuals

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

13 years

I forgot to check twitter and nothing happened.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Inundated by a flurry of bro-related snapchats

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

An action item from our meeting: review the coinslot icon options.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I am a person defined by my lack of venmo account

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

I fell asleep wearing whitestrips last night and now my teeth look (and feel!) Like tiny shards of Swarovski crystal!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Praise The Lord.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Every time someone asks me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I just picture this http://t.co/jSYawpE4Yo

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

There are a lot of boys in India that are all about the white #peen

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Thank god Georgia O'Keeffe didn't live to see this selfie nonsense.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I want to snapchat this. But I won't. This is responsible adulthood.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

what is this, it tastes like the holidays? (belvedere soda)

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

9 years

It's like this expired inhaler from 15 years ago doesn't even work.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

InnaRomania mania.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Please don't scream about cocaine at the restaurant

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Actually, it IS a competition, but that doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Let's all stop wearing Toms on the count of 6 months ago!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Living my life solely for PromBat.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Unless you are in a restaurant or bar, no one is "serving you" anything.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Don't get stabbed by a walrus.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Yup, I'm almost to the bottom of the sweatpants slippery slope.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

14 years

@robdelaney @robdelaney didn't offspring already take care of that on the first pass?

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Oh, please. You wouldn't know a good social media strategy if it retweeted you from its verified corporate account!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

No more drinking? No [comma] more drinking.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

A sexy 90's onepiece snowsuit

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

13 years

Smelled Frenet in the hallway before 8am and now my altruism and will to live are gone!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

This is nothing

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

"The hardest part about driving is that I can't live tweet"

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Twerkin' to the Oldies!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

I tasted Stoli and now I know serfdom!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

@psimpkins15 in that case, I've got it covered. I'm very empty. Barely a husk of a person.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

I forgot to do steroids again and now I feel inferior

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

I don't know who to apologize to first

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Most of the time I forget I'm alive.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

#blackjetSFlaunch #LunchHour #LadyofLuxury http://t.co/oPXPPbn

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

I just spent 15 hours in Disneyland and I don't have any kids, so if I wasn't before, I'm definitely on some kind of watch list now.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

4 years

It’s painful to watch the Twitter

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Imagine what life would be like if we didn't drink EVERY weekend!

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

13 years

iFamily? http://twitpic.com/5wb9lx

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

13 years

#kickyouwhenyouredown RT @ty_fed ahh. touche. now im even more mad you caught me in a time of weakness and i fell right into that

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

We have pounded everything

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

I'm not sure when I last ate food

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Actually, sometimes pain is LIFE leaving the body.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

"Ummet Ozcan will be arriving in 6 minutes" - Uber

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Just drank a whole bottle of something called "Beyond Raw: Ravage," which I'm hoping only *sounds* like a sex crime.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

Spotted: two 50-something ladies, clad in purple and hats with silk flowers, hotboxing a late model Volkswagen beetle. #LadiesNite

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

14 years

RT @loic : Wow! Check out this photo of a volcano in Iceland—it's crazy! http://bit.ly/afiUCj

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Should we be ashamed?

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

Kristin Chenoweth just told you to stay out of trouble

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Let's all quietly, compassionately, say Goodbye to Google Hangouts now.

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

10 years

Money is probably not real

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

9 years

May all your surgeries be elective 😘

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

12 years

I think I just stole a drink from a deaf guy

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

The people of San Francisco have an insatiable desire for Zumba

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John McCallen

@johnmccallen

11 years

"We'd better take an SUV: a little tiny Prius would just be slopping all over the place"

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