Joe Machi @joemachi Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

Every time someone asked who is my favorite? Norm. #normmacdonald

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

22 days

Hosting @Gutfeldfox tonight!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

Hosting @Gutfeldfox tonight!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Cleveland: I'm at Hilarities this Thur-Sat Los Angeles: Catch me at Dynasty Typewriter Jan. 30 Please enjoy this joke about actors wearing the same tuxedo to save the planet!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

Hosting @Gutfeldfox tomorrow!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Here's a quick joke about baseball not always being inspirational to celebrate #OpeningDay @KeepingJoe

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

Des Moines! Catch me at The Funny Bone this Friday and Saturday. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Please enjoy these topical jokes. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 months

Happy 4th of July!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Careful! This topical joke from this weekend has a swear word! #JussieSmollett

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

Sorry, due to breaking news last night our schedule changed and I won't be hosting tonight. Thank you!

Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

Hosting @Gutfeldfox tomorrow!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

9 months

St. Louis! Catch me at The Funny Bone (St. Charles) Nov. 24-26. Thank you!

Joe Machi: November 24-26 *Special Engagement*

-Finished 4th on season 8 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing. -Performed a half-hour stand-up comedy special that aired Comedy Central in 2016. -Performed stand-up on Conan O’brien in 2018. -Performed...

www.stlouisfunnybone.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Hi everyone. I hope this dumb video I made about sports shows with no sports makes you laugh today. Stay safe! #aloneonpurpose #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #joemachi

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 years

The Rams can still go to Disney World. Anyone can as long as you pay. #SuperBowl

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

Poughkeepsie, NY Catch me at Laugh it Up this Friday and Saturday. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Please enjoy this joke about The Iranian Government. Catch me in Cleveland at Hilarities 1/23-25 and in L.A. at Dynasty Typewriter on 1/30.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Please enjoy this joke about #JoeBiden claiming he'll cure cancer if elected President and ridiculous claims being made by politicians. #jokes #standup #StandupComedy @KeepingJoe

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 years

Please catch me on Conan tomorrow night! @TeamCoco

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Please check out This Week At The Comedy Cellar tonight at 11 on Comedy Central. I usually have some jokes on there.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

I have been spending so much time indoors that I made this horrible movie about my beard. I hope it makes you laugh. Stay safe! #aloneonpurpose #joemachi #jokes #standupcomedy #standupcomedy

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 years

I know Michelle Wolf personally and we disagree on some stuff but she’s a good person. People on every side of politics should stop being offended by everything. Also, I'm at Cap City in Austin, TX this Wednesday through Saturday.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Here's part of a joke aired on Comedy Central on Ted Kennedy and the moon landing. #moonlanding #moonlanding50th #standupcomedy #jokes @KeepingJoe

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

Las Vegas! I'll be at Wise Guys Town Square new location May 17-18. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 months

Happy Easter!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Merry Christmas!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

Merry Christmas!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

I hope this dumb video makes people laugh. Stay safe everyone! #jokes #standupcomedy #aloneonpurpose

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

Sorry! I was already challenged to not dump a bucket of ice water over my head by somebody else.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

8 years

Please ignore that I look creepy in this picture but notice it advertises my half hour special on Comedy Central.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

What animal has to go extinct for me to have a cell phone battery that lasts?

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 months

Vegas! I'll be at the new Wise Guys Comedy Club Town Square location May 17-18. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

@greggutfeld Thanks Greg!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

1 year

Colorado Springs! Catch me at 3E's August 18&19. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 years

NYC! Catch me @CarolinesonBway this Sat, May 14. One night only! Thank you!

Joe Machi - Carolines on Broadway

Since taking 4th place on Last Comic Standing’s 8th season, Joe Machi has been busy touring the United States as a headlining stand-up comedian. He has performed on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and...

www.carolines.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 months

Monticello, IL! Catch Nov. 2-4 at 3 Ravens. Thank you!

Joe Machi Show 1

4th place finisher on Last Comic Standing and Gutfeld regular Joe Machi comes to historic downtown Monticello!

www.eventbrite.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Please enjoy this joke marking the 30th Anniversary #TiananmenSquare #Tiananmen30 @KeepingJoe

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

7 years

Sanctions don't work but we could bankrupt North Korea by letting them host The Olympics.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

New 2020 Tour Dates!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 months

Salt Lake City! I'm at Wise Guys tonight and tomorrow. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

If you missed Black Friday and Cyber Monday there's still plenty of time to miss the point of Christmas!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Hi everyone! I hope this dumb movie serves as a funny distraction. I hoped to create a new pundit but it reminds me of Norm MacDonald's Larry King impression. Stay safe! #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #joemachi #aloneonpurpose

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

1 year

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

8 years

Um.. It's not called the woman card. It's called the queen. These candidates act like they've never played cards! #womancard

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 years

Merry Christmas friends!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

There's no one on the streets except for all the people taking pictures of how deserted the streets are!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

NFL draft pundits you're on notice. I hope this video makes you laugh! #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #NFLDraft2020

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Stay safe everyone! #COVID19 #AloneTogether

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

8 years

Does anyone else know you're here? #BestFirstDateQuestions

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Happy Easter!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 months

New Cumberland, WV! I'll be doing stand up at Mountaineer Casino (Bonkerz Comedy) on March 22. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Merry Christmas gang!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

I know I'm gonna get some backlash for saying this but I believe defense is just as important as offense. If you score a touchdown everyone is happy.. but if the defense gives up a touchdown you're right back where you started.

Colin Quinn

@iamcolinquinn

5 years

Super bowl will be a breath of fresh air this year with two of arguably the best teams of the year going head to head.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

Just wanted to say once again how great @lachjaw @nikkicarrtqs and @RodManComedy are. @nbclastcomic Tough final!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 years

Tonight! Catch the last episode of the season of This Week @ComedyCellarUSA at 11 on Comedy Central. Here is a joke from last week:

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 months

Springfield, MA! I'll be at Roar Comedy Club April 19-20. Thank you!

Joe Machi Tickets | Event Dates & Schedule | Ticketmaster

Buy Joe Machi tickets from the official Ticketmaster.com site. Find Joe Machi schedule, reviews and photos.

www.ticketmaster.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

President Obama said we don't have a strategy for ISIS. AH! The old tell them we don't have a strategy strategy!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Ottawa! Catch me at Yuk Yuk's June 6-8. Enjoy this joke about @GameOfThrones #gameofthrones @KeepingJoe #joemachi

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 years

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Please enjoy this joke about Tom Brady putting deflate gate in perspective. Please catch me at #comixroadhouse at Mohegun Sun in Uncasville, CT 2/18-20 and Bananas at Hasbrouck Heights, NJ 3/26-27.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 months

Salt Lake City! I'm back at Wise Guys July 5th-6th. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 years

St. Louis! Catch me at The Funny Bone (Westport) Jan. 26-29. Thank you!

Joe Machi: November 24-26 *Special Engagement*

-Finished 4th on season 8 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing. -Performed a half-hour stand-up comedy special that aired Comedy Central in 2016. -Performed stand-up on Conan O’brien in 2018. -Performed...

www.stlouisfunnybone.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

7 years

I realized Santa wasn't real after my parents didn't ask me to write him a thank you note.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

Congratulations @RodManComedy Well deserved!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 months

Orlando, FL! I'll be The Corner (Bonkerz Comedy Club) on June 14-15. Thank you!

SPECIAL EVENT - Joe Machi as seen on Last Comic Standing, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Conan,...

Laugh with Joe Machi from Last Comic Standing, The Tonight Show, Gutfeld! and more at Bonkerz Comedy Club Orlando in The Corner Orlando!

bonkerzcomedyproductions.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

A friend asked if I wanted to be set up with one of her friends. I said "it sounds bad that you're already calling it a set up." Right?

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

Maybe the NFL thinks suspending players for domestic violence only gives them more time to spend with the women they beat up.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Worcester, MA! Please catch me at WooHaHa Comedy Club this Friday and Saturday. Enjoy this joke about Red Flag Laws. Thank you! #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #joemachi #comedian #redflaglaws @KeepingJoe

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Kansas City! Catch me at The Comedy Club of Kansas City 12/26-28. Please enjoy this joke about the Peloton Ad. Thank you! #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #keepingjoe #pelotonad

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

2 months

Salt Lake City! I'll be at Wise Guys this Friday-Saturday. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

@sammorril I'd rather watch the movie.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

New stand up tonight!

Gutfeld!

@Gutfeldfox

3 years

TONIGHT! @greggutfeld welcomes @LaraLeaTrump , @JamieLissow , @joemachi , @KatTimpf and @PlanetTyrus from DALLAS!! 11pm ET on @FoxNews . DON'T MISS IT!!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Ottawa! Catch me at Yuk Yuk's June 6-8. Here's a joke about tech companies spying on us. Thank you! #google #facebook #cambridgeanalytica #jokes #standup #joemachi @KeepingJoe

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Catch me at Blue Room Comedy Club in Springfield, MO this Friday and Saturday. Also, enjoy this joke: #standup #standupcomedy #jokes @KeepingJoe #joemachi

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 months

It will feel like an earthquake - when the crowd roars!

Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 months

East Rutherford, NJ! I'm at Bananas tonight and tomorrow. Thank you!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

8 years

Please catch my Comedy Central half hour special Friday night 9/2 at midnight. (Please no tweets about how thats actually Saturday.)

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Thank you for putting me up!

Laugh Factory

@TheLaughFactory

5 years

The absolutely hilarious @joemachi is rewriting history and we can’t get enough! #hwlaughfactory

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

Please enjoy these thoughts on Antonio Brown. Upcoming shows include: Las Vegas, Spokane, Tacoma, Chattanooga, Salt Lake City, Worcester, MA, Chicago, Sunnyvale and Fort Worth. for dates. #antoniobrown #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #keepingjoe #joemachi

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

6 months

The clock is the enemy. Not just for football. In a sense- we are all slowly dying. #superbowl2024

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

I'm seeing pundits say the polls are probably right. Their rational is: look at the polls.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

5 years

The world is relatively good. Catch me @Laughitupcc in Poughkeepsie, NY this Saturday at nine. Thank you! @KeepingJoe #optimistic

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 years

St. Louis! Catch me at The Funny Bone this Thursday-Sunday. Thank you!

Joe Machi: November 24-26 *Special Engagement*

-Finished 4th on season 8 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing. -Performed a half-hour stand-up comedy special that aired Comedy Central in 2016. -Performed stand-up on Conan O’brien in 2018. -Performed...

www.stlouisfunnybone.com

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

10 years

Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson stole my high school nick name.. Yeah.. they used to call me Dwayne Johnson.

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

4 years

Maybe it’s encouraging Congress doesn't think the situation is serious enough to put aside partisanship.. More likely they’re just waiting for their stock trades to clear. ZING!

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Joe Machi

@joemachi

3 months

Orlando, FL! I'll be performing at Bonkerz at The Corner June 14-15. Thank you!