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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/) Profile
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

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boogie board till ur stomach bleeds #ynwa

washington square fart
Joined November 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@jobscantfindme
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
6 months
40 years ago there were actors that just looked like this
@ComplexPop
Complex Pop Culture
6 months
New looks at Colin Farrell on the set of ‘THE PENGUIN’ 🐧
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
baby gronk has committed war crimes in the balkans
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 months
the thinking man’s zyn
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
3 months
“the prophecies are bullshit richie no one believes that shit” “you just don’t understand lisan al gaib you fucking baby. as it was WRITTEN COUSIN”
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
6 months
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 months
home is wherever the shen yun billboard is
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
BREAKING: grimace is dead
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
i saw this movie in my dream last night
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
4 months
i’m malala’s cousin
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
the studios today cannot produce a movie that has just one scene that's as funny as this one from indiana jones
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
inshallah kendall jenner will give hamas a pepsi and the war will be over
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
11 months
me watching a boy torrent the virgin suicides for me
@inkblotistan
Ink Blot
11 months
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
beavers be like
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
oh rly? I would have never guessed that this silky, verdant soup gets its color from a mix of green vegetables
@nytimes
The New York Times
1 year
This silky, verdant soup gets its color from a mix of green vegetables.
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
5 months
this came to me in a vision
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 years
Thank you Zach, my secret Santa
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
3 months
texting my brother
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 months
just got accosted by a tiny cop @TrueAnonPod
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@jobscantfindme
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
3 months
imagine if taylor swift dated george costanza album would be fucking groundbreaking it would shift the paradigm
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@jobscantfindme
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
7 months
we can have the conversation why would i not be ready
@thenanistate
the NANI?! state
7 months
Young Hillary Clinton looks like Sydney Sweeney (but y'all ain't ready for that conversation)
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
6 months
is taylor swift pregnant?
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
4 years
New Jersey is an elite state I hate to admit it
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
if osama bin laden had listened to new york new york by frank sinatra he wouldn’t have done that. beautiful song
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
3 months
i’m watching the bear for the first time and is it really that serious? over sandwiches?
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1 year
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1 year
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1 year
do you think they ever explored each others’ rectangles
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1 year
and thank you to my muse baby gronk inshallah he will pay for his crimes
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@jobscantfindme
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
my dog: *tries to eat food off the sidewalk* me: we have food at home my dog: the food at home *shows me a pic of dog food* me: how do you know about twitter stuff
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@jobscantfindme
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
3 months
@zachsilberberg as it was cousin
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
its animal abuse to not be feeding that dog in you
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
jibbitz on my crocs? and would u put a bumper sticker on a ferrari? get real
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
he just got a promotion at the little guy factory!!!
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
4 months
likely flu for them to have
@spectatorindex
The Spectator Index
4 months
JUST IN: CBS News reports bird flu has been detected among birds in New York City parks
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
alpha male tip #18
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
5 years
Lewis and Clark when they made it to Oregon
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1 year
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1 year
him: r u stupid me:
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
7 months
“woke” is teaching our children that this is ok .
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
DOES THE MOVIE COME WITH A FUCKING FLASHLIGHT?!
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
1 year
First look at Sebastian in #TheLittleMermaid
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
we're way too chill about popcorn what the fuck is that how did they know it would do that
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
my favorite part of oppenheimer was when he did the cup song
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
8 months
the broke mind virus is a plague
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
love when you see two random coworkers whispering to each other at work ok new alliance
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
i touched a cool rock on the way to work by accident and now im fucking here
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1 year
sorry im late i was playing with water in the shower
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1 year
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10 months
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
9 months
the voices in your head are real
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
it is sexist to make a woman set up two factor authentication
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
fran drescher is bernie sanders for girls
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
@zachsilberberg i’m not tinder these hoes WISH
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
7 months
normal person when their drunk: haha this is fun! i’m gonna post a lot on my story my mom when she’s drunk: i took antidepressants while i was pregnant with you because the war in kosovo made me depressed which is why you born fucked up i’m sorry also do you have a boyfriend
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1 year
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3 years
LA vibes 🤝 Liverpool vibes
@LFCUSA
Liverpool FC USA
3 years
THE CROWD HERE IN LA IS ELECTRIC ⚡️ JOTA MAKES IT 2!!
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
babies be like: when he has an ipad>>>
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
my dog is addicted to blue bottle
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
6 months
plug sorry
@jobscantfindme
Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
6 months
is taylor swift pregnant?
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
omg
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1 year
being a virgin is worth a billion dollars
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
your twin towers: susceptible to jet fuel my twin towers: susceptible to AWOOOOOGA
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
4 months
mashallah he is facing mecca
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10 months
when i see an old man walking an old dog i’m like did you guys grow up together
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
9 months
i think amy schumer is just extremely constipated and once she poops she will stop acting like that - happened to me once
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
thank you to my zachs @zachgoldbaum @zachsilberberg for producing and editing respectively and @cassiemurdoch for editorial guidance
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
4 years
Doctor prescribed me the chess pills get ready to meet ur master @Kasparov63
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
the simpsons predicted you will die
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1 year
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6 months
they should make a willy wonka but with cigarettes
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1 year
sunday
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
being 29 is so fucking funny like really bro? 29? Just be fucking 30 u asshole
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
grimace leaves behind 6 wives and 23 children in sana’a
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 years
Omfg…
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9 years
His jawline>>> 😍 http://t.co/NWb2mk7js2
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
9 months
when i plug my laptop charger into the outlet and it sparks a little but i dont get scared
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
7 days
I just know Hilary Clinton is rolling in her grave rn 😂
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1 year
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1 year
im not interested in the little mermaid i want to hear about the big mermaid
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1 year
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1 year
the way u answer this let’s me know if u a cuck or not
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4 years
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25 days
the is like when they discovered the terracotta army in 1974
@Liamjsm
Sunk Cost Pharisee
25 days
beautiful
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
your unemployed friend on a tuesday
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 years
Baby shoes, worn a lot, the baby is fine 😁
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
9 months
making money is all about the three B’s: Boobs, Breasts, and Big Jugs
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1 year
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1 year
babies are always crying about something thats not even a big deal
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
ur in her DMs, im crying
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 months
when i have an anxiety attack at the club and need to do a grounding exercise
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
me: actually in dog years, only .289 planes hit the towers date: you have blood coming out of your ear dating in new york 🙄
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
he Benjamin on my button til I’m curious
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
i wish all mosquitos would get depressed and kill themselves
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 month
your life doesn’t end when you turn 30!!! but mine will
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
10 months
they should make a jukebox but for smells if i want the bar to smell like hamburger meat i should be able to make that happen instantly
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
i sat my white ass down and fell asleep
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
2 years
Honey I shrunk my penis! And I shrunk your vagina too! Time for tiny sex 😎
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
Swollen eyes, a hunchback and claw-like hands: What remote-workers will look like by 2100
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
they/them of the month
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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)
1 year
does this mean he liked my nude
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1 year
written by me and @zachgoldbaum edited by @zachsilberberg
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