Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/) @jobscantfindme Twitter profile

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

6 months

40 years ago there were actors that just looked like this

Complex Pop Culture

@ComplexPop

6 months

New looks at Colin Farrell on the set of ‘THE PENGUIN’ 🐧

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

baby gronk has committed war crimes in the balkans

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@jobscantfindme

2 months

the thinking man’s zyn

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3 months

“the prophecies are bullshit richie no one believes that shit” “you just don’t understand lisan al gaib you fucking baby. as it was WRITTEN COUSIN”

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6 months

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@jobscantfindme

2 months

home is wherever the shen yun billboard is

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

BREAKING: grimace is dead

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

i saw this movie in my dream last night

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@jobscantfindme

4 months

i’m malala’s cousin

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

the studios today cannot produce a movie that has just one scene that's as funny as this one from indiana jones

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

10 months

inshallah kendall jenner will give hamas a pepsi and the war will be over

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

11 months

me watching a boy torrent the virgin suicides for me

Ink Blot

@inkblotistan

11 months

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

beavers be like

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

oh rly? I would have never guessed that this silky, verdant soup gets its color from a mix of green vegetables

The New York Times

@nytimes

1 year

This silky, verdant soup gets its color from a mix of green vegetables.

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

5 months

this came to me in a vision

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

2 years

Thank you Zach, my secret Santa

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

3 months

texting my brother

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@jobscantfindme

2 months

just got accosted by a tiny cop @TrueAnonPod

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

3 months

imagine if taylor swift dated george costanza album would be fucking groundbreaking it would shift the paradigm

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

7 months

we can have the conversation why would i not be ready

the NANI?! state

@thenanistate

7 months

Young Hillary Clinton looks like Sydney Sweeney (but y'all ain't ready for that conversation)

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@jobscantfindme

6 months

is taylor swift pregnant?

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@jobscantfindme

4 years

New Jersey is an elite state I hate to admit it

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

1 year

if osama bin laden had listened to new york new york by frank sinatra he wouldn’t have done that. beautiful song

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@jobscantfindme

3 months

i’m watching the bear for the first time and is it really that serious? over sandwiches?

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1 year

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1 year

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

do you think they ever explored each others’ rectangles

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

and thank you to my muse baby gronk inshallah he will pay for his crimes

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

1 year

my dog: *tries to eat food off the sidewalk* me: we have food at home my dog: the food at home *shows me a pic of dog food* me: how do you know about twitter stuff

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

3 months

@zachsilberberg as it was cousin

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

10 months

its animal abuse to not be feeding that dog in you

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

jibbitz on my crocs? and would u put a bumper sticker on a ferrari? get real

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

he just got a promotion at the little guy factory!!!

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

4 months

likely flu for them to have

The Spectator Index

@spectatorindex

4 months

JUST IN: CBS News reports bird flu has been detected among birds in New York City parks

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1 year

alpha male tip #18

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@jobscantfindme

5 years

Lewis and Clark when they made it to Oregon

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1 year

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1 year

him: r u stupid me:

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@jobscantfindme

7 months

“woke” is teaching our children that this is ok .

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

1 year

DOES THE MOVIE COME WITH A FUCKING FLASHLIGHT?!

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

1 year

First look at Sebastian in #TheLittleMermaid

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1 year

we're way too chill about popcorn what the fuck is that how did they know it would do that

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

my favorite part of oppenheimer was when he did the cup song

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@jobscantfindme

8 months

the broke mind virus is a plague

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

love when you see two random coworkers whispering to each other at work ok new alliance

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1 year

i touched a cool rock on the way to work by accident and now im fucking here

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

sorry im late i was playing with water in the shower

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

@MannyVaIIadares ya

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

@ManeFridge nice

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@jobscantfindme

9 months

the voices in your head are real

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

it is sexist to make a woman set up two factor authentication

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

fran drescher is bernie sanders for girls

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

@zachsilberberg i’m not tinder these hoes WISH

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

7 months

normal person when their drunk: haha this is fun! i’m gonna post a lot on my story my mom when she’s drunk: i took antidepressants while i was pregnant with you because the war in kosovo made me depressed which is why you born fucked up i’m sorry also do you have a boyfriend

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1 year

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3 years

LA vibes 🤝 Liverpool vibes

Liverpool FC USA

@LFCUSA

3 years

THE CROWD HERE IN LA IS ELECTRIC ⚡️ JOTA MAKES IT 2!!

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

babies be like: when he has an ipad>>>

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

my dog is addicted to blue bottle

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

6 months

plug sorry

Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

6 months

is taylor swift pregnant?

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

omg

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

being a virgin is worth a billion dollars

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

your twin towers: susceptible to jet fuel my twin towers: susceptible to AWOOOOOGA

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@jobscantfindme

4 months

mashallah he is facing mecca

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

when i see an old man walking an old dog i’m like did you guys grow up together

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@jobscantfindme

9 months

i think amy schumer is just extremely constipated and once she poops she will stop acting like that - happened to me once

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

thank you to my zachs @zachgoldbaum @zachsilberberg for producing and editing respectively and @cassiemurdoch for editorial guidance

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@jobscantfindme

4 years

Doctor prescribed me the chess pills get ready to meet ur master @Kasparov63

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

the simpsons predicted you will die

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

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@jobscantfindme

6 months

they should make a willy wonka but with cigarettes

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

sunday

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

1 year

being 29 is so fucking funny like really bro? 29? Just be fucking 30 u asshole

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

grimace leaves behind 6 wives and 23 children in sana’a

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@jobscantfindme

2 years

Omfg…

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@jobscantfindme

9 years

His jawline>>> 😍 http://t.co/NWb2mk7js2

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@jobscantfindme

9 months

when i plug my laptop charger into the outlet and it sparks a little but i dont get scared

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@jobscantfindme

7 days

I just know Hilary Clinton is rolling in her grave rn 😂

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

im not interested in the little mermaid i want to hear about the big mermaid

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

@JUNlPER ya

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

the way u answer this let’s me know if u a cuck or not

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@jobscantfindme

4 years

@annakhachiyan

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@jobscantfindme

25 days

the is like when they discovered the terracotta army in 1974

Sunk Cost Pharisee

@Liamjsm

25 days

beautiful

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

your unemployed friend on a tuesday

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@jobscantfindme

2 years

Baby shoes, worn a lot, the baby is fine 😁

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@jobscantfindme

9 months

making money is all about the three B’s: Boobs, Breasts, and Big Jugs

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

babies are always crying about something thats not even a big deal

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

ur in her DMs, im crying

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@jobscantfindme

2 months

when i have an anxiety attack at the club and need to do a grounding exercise

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

me: actually in dog years, only .289 planes hit the towers date: you have blood coming out of your ear dating in new york 🙄

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

he Benjamin on my button til I’m curious

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

i wish all mosquitos would get depressed and kill themselves

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@jobscantfindme

1 month

your life doesn’t end when you turn 30!!! but mine will

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@jobscantfindme

10 months

they should make a jukebox but for smells if i want the bar to smell like hamburger meat i should be able to make that happen instantly

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

i sat my white ass down and fell asleep

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@jobscantfindme

2 years

Honey I shrunk my penis! And I shrunk your vagina too! Time for tiny sex 😎

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

1 year

Swollen eyes, a hunchback and claw-like hands: What remote-workers will look like by 2100

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

they/them of the month

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@jobscantfindme

1 year

does this mean he liked my nude

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Niki Mahmoodi (Oneohtrix Point sometimes :/)

@jobscantfindme

1 year

written by me and @zachgoldbaum edited by @zachsilberberg

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