Joe Słowik 🌻 @jfslowik Twitter profile

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

🧐 Spot the huge, glaring, "OMG did they really spell that out???" problem here:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Dentist: "So, do you floss daily?" Me: "Do you have strong, unique passwords for all your critical applications and accounts?"

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Kids watching Patriot Games thinking they can be a CIA Analyst and afford a house on the Chesapeake in Maryland when really they need to come to terms with a 1BR condo in Tysons.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

5 years

Future trending filenames on VirusTotal: Mueller report.docx muellerReport.pdf.exe MuellerReport.rar MuellerReport.ace MuellerReport.jar

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

IPtables rules to defend against #Log4Shell : iptables -A INPUT -j DROP iptables -A OUTPUT -j DROP

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Hey @Snowden , what would be your recommendations for refugees, media, and pol/mil leadership in Ukraine to safeguard comms against Russian interception and analysis?

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Awkward exit interviews: "What would it take to convince you to stay?" "Fire these three people" 😬

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#RSAC #RSAC2022 #VendorParties

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Internal name of the team one would join is probably something like "Security Targeting And System Investigations"

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

8 months

I'm sorry, what???

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

I have an #infosec startup idea: a service that just advises people to TAKE SHIT OFF THE INTERNET. I'm going to call it GET YOUR SHIT OFF THE INTERNET. It will dramatically improve security outcomes, so where's my Series A?

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Yes some things are bad but not everything is an emergency

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

6 years

Security researchers be all like

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#RSAC #RSAC2022

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Phishing simulations are bullshit.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Sometimes it feels this way 😂

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

11 months

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

I survived tonight. That may sound trivial but it was closer than you think. I need to get my head in the right place, fast.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

7 months

1. MSFT takes over lead in AI research 2. MSFT creates Skynet 3. Skynet becomes self-aware 4. Skynet realizes it is based on NT kernel, virtually offs itself after 0.7 seconds.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#RSAC2022 #RSAC

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

29 days

Good morning

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Felt cute, might delete later

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Get ready for Vegas, #infosec !

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Current state of #infosec :

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Paying for every employee to have a @Yubico : "Oh nos, too expensive!" Spending for a phishing 'test' that engenders distrust and malice: PRICELESS

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

1 year

Person who pays someone else to cook all meals, do all household tasks, and has other people care for his kids says WFH is too luxurious for the rest of us.

Musk says 'laptop class' should stop 'the work-from-home' BS

Musk argued that professional workers were being unfair in asking to work-from-home while factory and service workers still had to work in-person.

fortune.com

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 months

Today's the day

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#cyberwar

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Am I doing this right?

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Yep

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

IETF: "Hey, let's make 127.0.0.0/8 routable" IPv6 Nerds:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Dude wants to act like implementing rsync on NSAnet was a big fuckin deal 😂

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

#CTI #threatintel

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Jobs you don't want: 1. Defense against the dark arts instructor 2. No. 2 person in al Qaeda 3. CISO

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

8 months

"scanned with the free version of Malwarebytes"

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

I made a handy flow-chart if your CISO/leadership is asking what you're doing/what's the risk of the current conflict in Ukraine for your own organization:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Live view of USG cyber cooperation and coordination efforts:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#infosec #vulnerabilities

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Tier 2 analysis:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

5 months

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

7 months

#CTI #ThreatIntelligence #Infosec

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

You don't need to be part of the #infosec "in crowd" to matter in #cybersecurity . I'm not a member. I just post shit memes and publish content, but I don't get invites to double secret handshake clubs. Do you, do it well, and things will work out.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

1. I'm ok. 2. Need to make some changes. 3. Likely will be quiet for a bit.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

KiwiFarms, a terrible hellhole of intolerance and hate, is doxxing folks who speak out against @Cloudflare hosting them. If we all speak out, Cloudflare can't ignore us and the trolls can't keep up. #infosec #dfir #cti #cybersecurity

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#infosec #cti

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

In 1995, cyber war was coming!

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

1 year

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

IF(Registrar==NameCheap && ISP==DigitalOcean) THEN Domain==RedTeam && Action.YeetIntoSun

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Commercial #CTI

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Figured I might as well save this

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

One thing that continues to add complexity to #log4j discussions is that the external-facing server receiving the exploit attempt is NOT NECESSARILY the server exploited depending on remote logging, etc.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

OH SHIT HERE WE GOOOOOO

Destructive malware targeting Ukrainian organizations | Microsoft Security Blog

Microsoft Threat Intelligence Center (MSTIC) has identified evidence of a destructive malware operation targeting multiple organizations in Ukraine.

www.microsoft.com

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

When a pentest goes sideways and gets reported as a critical infrastructure incident:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Bold move

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

"Do you list certs on your CV?" Yeah, I list the ones I've earned even if they're not "current" because fuck those orgs for extorting money from me to indicate I'm still "good" on their standard given the shitshow that is CPE verification.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

I'm sorry, Zoomers

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Mindmap YOLO on RU-linked threat groups:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

"The role is remote until pandemic measures are rescinded, at which time the position requires being onsite." Bitch if the job can be done fully remote for about a year (and counting) why do you need people to come back to the office???

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Meanwhile, in #offsec

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Overheard: 'why does MSFT insist on saying "human operated ransomware" - like what the fuck else operates it, penguins?'

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

One minor bit of news on a big day during a big week in #ICS security - today is my last day at @DragosInc ! After a fun and immensely rewarding 3.5+ years, I'm shifting flags to @DomainTools to continue my journey punching bad guys in the cybers!

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Serious hive mind question - what has Elon Musk actually, directly, personally done that's been interesting or innovative, other than throwing (largely preexisting) money at a lot of technical innovators who seem to remain anonymous?

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Overheard at #RSAC2022 : "RSA just stands for RSA, it doesn't mean anything" 😬

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

1 year

"Debating" this dipstick is like playing chess with a pigeon - you can play the game of your life, and the other side will just make a lot of noise, knock over the pieces, and shit all over the board.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Tech employees: "Woo remote work now I don't have to live in San Francisco!" Tech employers: "Woo remote work - now I can pay Nebraska prices for the same caliber of worker!"

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

What you think happens in the SCIF / How it really be

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

#Musk #Starlink

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 months

So much of this right now

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Raspberry Pi RF receiver, right? 😅

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

OH NO YOU DIDNT

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

#DFIR #MalwareAnalysis #TheStruggleIsReal

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

10 months

After seeing "Periwinkle Tempest:"

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

SOC triage:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 months

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

VULN 👏 SCANNING 👏 TRIGGERING 👏 A 👏 DETECTION 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 A 👏 FALSE 👏 POSITIVE

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

Seeing 127.0.0.1 in an IOC list:

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

5 years

If you are in #threatintelligence and have not seen the following at least once, you have homework to do: 1. Sneakers 2. Burn After Reading 3. The Men who Stare at Goats (the book is fun too) 4. Fletch (again, the books are good too)

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Before I get another reply explaining this: 1: yes, Dr. Ryan was a successful surgeon and Jack supposedly made a ton of money on Wall St. 2: yes, I've read the books 3: this was a joke!!!

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

3 years

Breaking Bad 2: former national lab infosec worker in New Mexico decides "fuck this" after yet another ransomware engagement, uses knowledge of legitimate rootkits (EDR) to build a new family of access tools targeting Russian government and commercial organizations.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

2 years

Once upon a time, when I worked a certain watch floor, we used a 🔥 icon to track the Kuznetsov when it was (rarely) underway since the damn thing kept catching on fire. Damn thing might as well have burned coal in its boilers.

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Joe Słowik 🌻

@jfslowik

4 years

When someone asks how to get from a SHA256 to an MD5 hash without having the file (I'm going to get murdered for this)

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