Don’t blame COVID for cancelling your holidays. Blame the government that did nothing while 250,000+ people died, lost their jobs, and fell into poverty.
Kris Bryant is coming here. He just has to. The Phillies have to make their annual move that sucks me back in so I hate myself for another 6 months like with every guy I’ve ever dated.
@JohnFetterman
I know you hate Wawa and I get it, but it’s also very apparent you’ve never stumbled out of a Sea Isle bar into the holy land that is a 4 am Wawa in the summertime.
Every season I defend the sport of baseball. I can never defend MLB itself. They run the league into the ground.
Baseball as a sport? Top tier. MLB as a league? Straight garbage.
Who is coming to the Phils game with me Apr 9th?
Applicants must be:
-hot
-knowledgeable about baseball, funny or quiet
-at least 6’1 (will consider 5’10-6’ for the right candidate)
-willing to get me drinks during the top half of the innings
-able to win a fight
But for real, be kind. Don’t litter. Use less plastic. Vote for candidates who keep the environment in mind so I can keep posting turtle vids before everything dies out.
went out to take photos tonight fully prepped: long pants, long sleeves, mask, hat, bug spray. got bit by a deer fly three times on my left thumb while taking this so you are required to like and appreciate this photo in solidarity.
Is this my time to shamelessly self-promote? Here is my website where you can find upcoming comedy shows where I will be performing (objectively less funny than these turtles) and some of my photography (sometimes turtles)
As I got dressed this morning, I thought about when a family member told me heavy people shouldn’t wear stripes while I was wearing a striped shirt.
This heavy person likes stripes. Bring it bitch.
While you are all arguing with bots in these mentions, take a deep breath and check out some photos; maybe even buy some. Make sure you are shopping small this weekend.
Is this now where I follow up and tell you to donate to a charity? Here is one for a very sad human with a tragic backstory etc etc .. Venmo: jamie-pappas
Men on dating apps:
1. First photo is a group photo? He’s the least attractive
2. Hats in every photo? Lebron James’ natural hair line
3. Dog/baby photos? Distraction from their face
4. Guys only take photos at weddings, cliché vacation spots, while fishing or car selfies
I have a first time meeting today with someone who refers to me as “Mr Jamie” in emails.
This is the first time I am very excited about a gender reveal.
It has been 432 days since I have attended a sporting event.
Specifically, 584 days since I’ve been to CBP.
The streak ends tonight. And I’m going to cry.