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Jakobpablo Profile
Jakobpablo

@jakoboffline

686
Followers
871
Following
381
Media
2,380
Statuses

New York, NY
Joined July 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
Magic gets a lot more affordable when you start shoplifting at Target
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
3 months
Magic player sees Arabic name for the first time:
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
6 months
Every MTG top 8 photo has 6 chubby white guys, a trans girl, and the most fuckable twink on the planet who cannot get laid to save his life
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Being a niche micro celebrity for a childrens card game is not translating into going on dates with goth girls the way i thought it would
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
9 months
alcohol free queer space for people with no friends??
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
20 days
Why has neither candidate brought up the one rings legality in modern?
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
3 months
RCQ grinders want Amalia banned bc they dont know how to interact with women
@alsosteve
ricky linn
3 months
Getting ready for two more RCQs this weekend @Crew3Podcast @Its_Chrismas #Pioneer #BanAmalia
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Jakobpablo
1 month
Playing the one ring in Boros is the kind of greed they described in Lord of the Rings
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
4 years
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
5 months
“Format staples are getting too expensive! Why is sorin a 50 dollar card???” you have a house you can sell. You just dont want it bad enough
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
Comboing with Nadu
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
cEDH this. cEDH that. c a therapist
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
5 months
Trying to learn legacy death and taxes as fast as possible. Would it be more effective to grind games on mtgo or head to the nearest queer club looking confused?
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
Trophied with standard UR otters!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
Do you guys think the creatures in Agatha’s soul cauldron ever explore each other’s bodies?
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
Guide of souls when you hit 3 energy
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
This is literally just a barista in brooklyn
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
RW convoke will now join the list of broken pioneer decks such as Gearhulk creativity, rogues, Rona combo, Neoform Atraxa, Atraxa Fires
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
WON THE MODERN CHALLY AGAIN WITH MONO BLACK HAND VOMIT. UHHHHHHHH NICE!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Does this combo work the way i think it does????
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Finished Top 4 of the modern challenge with UB Mommytide Big ups to @TaliskerMTGO for the list
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
12 days
If youre feeling inadequate at piloting phoenix ahead of DC i have the solution. Ill be selling vyvanse at the RC DC! Hmu for rates, but straight dudes pay double
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
3 months
Boros energy might be the greatest pioneer deck of all time
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
TOP 4 OF THE MODERN CHAL WITH MARDU UN GATITO PSPSPSPPSPSPSPSPSPPS
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Jakobpablo
2 months
This is like the third doomcident wym this aint you? 😭
@d00mwake
d00mwake
2 months
@boros83158 Hey Charlie. I can't change the past and I am ashamed and embarrassed at how I acted today. I let my emotions get the best of me and that is unacceptable. I am deeply sorry for the way I acted today and I can only try to improve moving forward. That is not who I am as a person.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
Top 4 in the modern showcase with sagaless breach! Deck was great! GRAPESHOT PEW PEW
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
WON THE PIONEER CHALLENGE. UNDEFEATED ON THE DAY. BAN FABLE.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
I distinctly remember richard garfield saying “this game is for everyone except poor people” when making it
@Ohdatpro
Conner Roth
1 year
#MTG Hot take: Proxies should not be encouraged. I worked hard for my expensive cardboard and then some people show up with only the "expensive" cards proxied. There's still appropriate times for proxies, but it's insulting for people to shortcut what I've earned. 1/2
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
25 days
HELLO I AM SELLING A PRIMER AND SB GUIDE FOR MARDU ENERGY 🐱⚡️ 10$ USD TO BUY, HALF OFF IF I EVER LIKED ONE OF YOUR THIRST TRAPS RIGHT NOW ITS 3K WORDS AND COVERS THE MOST IMPORTANT MATCHUPS IN THE FORMAT. THIS WILL BE FURTHER FLESHED OUT IN THE COMING DAYS TO COVER EVERYTHING
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
28 days
SPLIT FINALS OF THE MODERN CHALLY WE SINKIN SHOTS FROM HALFCOURT MAN
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
IF SOMEONE CAN TEACH ME VALO IT MIGHT NOT BE TOO LATE TO PIVOT
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
Refused to top 8 scg Baltimore in protest of the formats current direction If you ask me those who willingly chose to win out today are on the wrong side of history
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
WON THE MODERN CHAL WITH NECRODOM RED. LOOKING FORWARD TO SCG BALT :)))
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
Top 8 the modern chally with Grixis Murktide. Didn’t respect titan got punished, as is life.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
Mayer’s art is some of the best in the game and is genuinely so refreshing
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@JafferTTV
Jaffer ➡️ SCGCON DC
10 months
Which Abrade art is your go-to? I'm a Game Day promo art person
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
3 months
Top 8 of the sleepy time modern chally. Decklist from Kani. Deck is okay
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
Any event is positive EV if you’re drunk enough
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
21 days
Listen gang all this whining was fine when it was it was about a deck i didnt like. Now that its about a deck i like im gonna need u guys to chill out
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
“Hey. You know Ixalan. You probably know this but in 2017-.”
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
I dont rly get the EV in magic convo, like yea obv the game is awful EV. Esports in general are horrendous EV, except for a select few out of thousands. Engage w the game bc you like it. spending all day in your goon cave is probably better EV than magic.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
@SonRebell 🤔🤔🤔
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
Trophied with standard UR otters!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
The reason murktide doesn’t do well at tournaments isn’t bc its hard to play, it just fuckin sucks 😭
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
8 months
TOP 4 OF THE SLEEPY TIME CHAL WITH CREATIVITY. LOST DUE TO BEING TOO EEPY. GOODNIGHT. THE SPINNING NEVER STOPS
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
30 days
TOP 4 OF THE MODERN CHAL BEST LIST BEST HAIR BEST STYLE BEST FLOW BEST AURA BEST SWAG BEST THROAT GAME BEST SENSE OF HUMOR BEST TASTE IN MUSIC BEST THROAT GAME BEST SMILE NIGHTMARE SUCKS ASSHOLE EVERYTHING ELSE WAS GREAT 10/10
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
Won the goblin hour modern challenge with Fair Breach. Tweaked the list from @benton_madsen . Joined bc plans got canceled, went the distance.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Queued for denver in the ReCQ. Neato! Thoughtseize! Wow!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
Top 4 in the Standard Challenge I HECKIN LOVE JUND!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
Me speaking to the first woman i see after three shots of tequila
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
AFTER TWO CHAL WINS AND A SLEW OF OTHER TOP 8s AND TOP 16s I AM SELLING A DECK & SIDEBOARD GUIDE FOR NECRODOMINANCE ITS 10$ USD TO PURCHASE VIA PAYPAL OR VENMO. PLAY THE ONLY DECK THAT HAS ANY AURA IN THIS HEINOUS FORMAT REPOSTS AND VOUCHES APPRECIATED
@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
WON THE MODERN CHALLY AGAIN WITH MONO BLACK HAND VOMIT. UHHHHHHHH NICE!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
CALL ME THE AMERICAN @misplacedginger THE WAY IM IN THESE E GIRL’S DMs (winning with RB) SECOND IN THE PIONEER CHALLENGE
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
Sorry i didnt get you anything this Christmas kitten, Daddy cant top 8 a challenge to save his life
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
Me sending the homies the perfect RB list for Atlanta. (I took gingers list and added a 4th copter)
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
10 months
They’re in the mtgo queues
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
Timed in a match we were locked to win for top 8 of the standy chal deck was insane 🦌
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
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@misplacedginger
Lost
11 months
Finally, I think it's okay to be upset with the formats play patterns and sharing frustrations. I think it's terribly annoying to say the format needs bans all the time because you happen to not be winning. it's okay to do something else with your time
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
took my girl to her first Bloomburrow draft yesterday and said 'welcome to my world' and she replied 'why does that dude have a playmat of two girls fucking?' and I will remember this night forever
@RAVENSCOON
PAUL
1 month
took my girl to her first rave yesterday and said 'welcome to my world' and she replied 'our world now' and I will remember this night forever
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
27 days
RIPPED OFF ANOTHER TOP 8 WITH MARDU CAT CANNON PLAYED THE LIST FROM @bobinchese I ACCIDENTALLY HIT MY KNEE INTO THE SQUAT MACHINE AT THE GYM TODAY AND IT SERIOUSLY FUCKING HURTS DUDE. IF IT BRUISES THATLL BE KIND OF ANNOYING. DO YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE THAT SAW IT WILL LAUGH I-
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
3 months
Modern is a rotating format, what a very smart and intelligent individual you are for pointing that out. V unique thought you came up with there
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
As someone who is constantly innovating the scene (First Magic player to be normal around women) im always pushing myself to improve This year i will try to become the first Magic player to not whine about play-draw 🤞
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
QUALIFED FOR SEASON 2. UNDEFEATED WITH THE BEST DECK! BAN FABLE IN EVERY FORMAT
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
7 months
If i end up on mtgo salt and im against domain rhinos, yall better mind ya business
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
TOP 8 MODERN CHAL WITH NECRO EVERY DAY I DISCOVER NEW AND INTERESTING WAYS TO THROW BUT WE BALL
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
5 months
Crazy how much more stacked the weekday chals are, the whole fuckin unemployment line in here
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
4 months
Got there with the besties :)))
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
TOP 8 IN THE PIONEER CHALLENGE Couldn’t bring the trophy back to the USA against the Canadians 🤧
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
Pioneer truly is the format of pregnant elephants. Godspeed.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Posting some loose thoughts on the Golgari pile & standy in general. - The format is really fun. The past couple standards have been really good, its just unfortunate there is no reason to play - Golgari is very good! Mosswood Dreadknight is that guy and most Black decks cant 1/x
@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
TOP 8’d THE STANDARD CHALLENGE WITH MY TAKE ON GOLGARI(R) MIDRANGE. Questing Druid was sick. 0-1 into 6-1. Im fried dawg. Might post more thoughts sometime tomorrow. Sideboard was awful
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
TOP 8’d THE STANDARD CHALLENGE WITH MY TAKE ON GOLGARI(R) MIDRANGE. Questing Druid was sick. 0-1 into 6-1. Im fried dawg. Might post more thoughts sometime tomorrow. Sideboard was awful
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
4 months
This shit sucks wish i was online rn arguing about IDWs
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@sed_ian
IanSed @ LOBSTERCON
4 months
I’m currently in a discourse free zone. I will not be looking up IDW.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
Told my situationship I’m not texting back anymore
@fireshoes
Robert Taylor🔥
1 month
The Magic Spotlight Series #mtg 8 open magic events $50k prizes 8 Pro Tour invites each with a related theme promo related to the theme first one in Atlanta first promo is Terror of the Peaks 5 in US, 2 in EU, 1 in Japan
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
MIND GOBLIN? BEST DECK??? EZ 5-0? Mono R 🐱 🐱 Boros Heroic 🐱 💀 🐱 Mono Black 🐱 🐱 Mono W Humans 🐱 💀 🐱 Merfolk 🐱 💀 🐱 @fireshoes
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
8 months
Made T8 of the standy chal with RB spooky monsters. Really happy with my play this weekend, THE SHOOTING SLUMP IS OVER
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
Top 4 in the Pio chally with my pet deck RB mid My favorite part of this event was when i cast bloodtithe harvester and harvested all over my opponents.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
5 months
We have plans to play tennis now btw
@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
5 months
gonna “can i bum a cigarette” into my local barista’s life
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
It’s become clear to me that i need to improve my play in high pressure situations. After speaking to several pros they told me their routine on how they stay focused and on edge. Gonna try something similar by playing an RCQ this weekend with explosive diarrhea
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Lost in finals of back to back RCQs with similar 75’s. RB good 🤝
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
3 months
TOP 8 OF PIO CHAL WITH TEMUR PHOENIX I PROB THREW BC OF THE SLEEPIES
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 month
Trespasser is my comfort character you guys r being fucking mean :(
@makememesnotwar
Jake Beardsley
1 month
The latest trend of every black deck in modern playing graveyard trespasser is truly baffling to me like I've played more with that card than most and god its bad
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
7 months
Spicerack beats the bricks off melee.
@spicerackgg
spicerack.gg
7 months
We’re very excited to unveil the Spicerack app – An iphone and android app for players to find, register, and play in gaming tournaments 🧵
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
Ded in finals of an rcq w my beloved. Elesh norn is pogchamp
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
9 months
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
8 months
Cheating at a children’s card game is crazy, like you da a mf loser LMAO.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
11 months
Bit idea: white guy who wears the healthy and diverse cap to his corporate hedgefund
@spicerackgg
spicerack.gg
11 months
"I LOVE SCAM" COLLECTION NOW LIVE USE YOUR CHOICE OF PROMO CODES "MENACE" OR "DOUBLESTRIKE" FOR 10% OFF TODAY ONLY, VOTE FOR YOUR FAV ELEMENTAL
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
Someone not liking mtgo aint a personal attack on u i promise itll be ok
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
5 months
Trying to shame people for engaging w leaks is kinda lame. Wotc has an internal problem so they should fix it internally, not my fault they bust their load prematurely. Consumers are entitled to having as much info as possible to budget accordingly.
@tronisbad
ryan nicholas
6 months
I wish that people understood how bad card leaks are for both Magic and creators alike and that spreading them only adds to the issue.
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 years
Second in the Pioneer Challenge with Stock RB. NEW YEAR, MORE FABLE
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
@D_Kumii Fujimoto gets to be weird af online because he wrote csm, not comparable
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
What if guide of souls was guide of toes and gained energy by sucking feet
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
2 months
An 11/10 came into my life so i cant dick around on MTGO anymore :(( gotta go grocery shopping and read feminist literature and shit
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
25 days
Thank you guys for not scribbling coke fund all over my venmo history this time, my mother was not happy last time
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
1 year
TOP 4 OF THE SLEEPY TIME MODERN CHAL I am now sleepy! Scam! Wow!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
4 months
TOP 8 PHOENIX! WOWIE. AWESOME TO DO WELL IN THE ONLY MTG EVENT THAT MATTERED TODAY NEAT!
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
8 months
Therapy is fake, just lock in
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@jakoboffline
Jakobpablo
6 months
Top 4 in modern. Deck is awful not completely washed
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