Main Gay Friend @jail_HAUS Twitter profile

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Me distracting the horses while my friends steal their K

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

@edqueermarisgay And an ass full of beans

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I would like to remind everyone that Taco Bell

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

I can’t wait to throw up at a music festival again

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

1 year

@luxxnoirlondon @MistressIBrooks @TrinityTheTuck

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

This JT and Cardi drama is too much I had to block Natalie Nun

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Moving to Long Beach this summer and wow am I gonna be a fucking WHORE

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Just quit my job. It’s been 15 minutes and it’s the best decision I’ve made in a while :)

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

They said “and your little dog too”

DON CALICO 🏆

@THE1NONLY_FK

3 years

I REALLY WENT TO JAIL N THEY TOOK MY DOG TO JAIL TOO 😭😭😭

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Security guard @ the rave yesterday: “I hate these drunk bitches. This stupid bitch just fell and blamed it on her crocs” The stupid bitch in question:

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I know I was drunk last night, but whose fucking cat is this?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

1 year

Honestly Frank Ocean needs his ass beat because why is he lip syncing his songs at Coachella

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I finally learned how to move my ass

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

This little girl just rang me up at IV Deli while she was doing her multiplication sheet. Honestly a queen I hope the rest of her shift goes well lol

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Saw the snow for the first time today, almost shoved a snowman up my ass. Merry Christmas everyone

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Freebirds nachos has a shelf life of 20 minutes after that just toss ‘em out

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I want to get married for the sole purpose of telling people kids cannot come to the wedding

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Made an indeed account and the first email recommendation was for chipotle. Do you think this is a fucking game, indeed?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Our Texas Uber is complaining about all the people moving from California to Texas. Cowboy drive faster idc I gotta take a shit

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Heading to IV rn imma dip my Woodstock’s pizza in the lagoon

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Petition to replace @loveeejasmin #BiLatinMen

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

My literal asshole

R A C H I E

@itsmeRachie

4 years

Name a place with tighter security than the Capitol. RIGHT answers only. 😂👇🏽

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Birthday month 😏😏😏

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

In elementary school I got profiled because they put me in ESL and I can’t even speak Spanish LOL

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Housemates came home with shots and confetti eggs. I guess we starting

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Why are people annoyed of vaccination card posts? Y’all post your ugly ass babies and we don’t say shit

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Permit test: passed Dick: hard

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

For all you bitches that are band wagoners I ate so much cotton candy this game I almost threw up

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

@edqueermarisgay

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Laura said she was taking me to somewhere special and bitch we’re at the Taco Bell Cantina

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Trump has COVID? WE BLACKING OUT TONIGHT

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Remembering the time my little brother got caught with his search history looking up porn and he said it wasn’t him but he’s dyslexic and he spelled bikini as “bekene”

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

La Caida De Laura

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Parents deadass get less strict the more kids they have. My mom cried when she found out I smoked weed and now she’s flexing her shit in the family groupchat like a plug

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Made some spicy bbq pork ramen for dinner 🍜

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Me going to get Laura lunch since she’s been working all morning teaching the youth of America Passing by her teaching... Laura: ohhhh so you’re a Taylor Swift stan?! I’m going back to bed y’all

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Happy Birthday to the sunset queen! @highthereLaura 🍊🧡🌅

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

My mother in 1998 being the first Latin American to sing the star spangled banner

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

This the last time I host a party. These fat bitches went into my fridge and ate my leftovers 😭😭😭

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I used to roast people that wore Fanny packs across their chest but I lowkey bought one and threw that thang over my shoulder and have been feeling like an foreign exchange student at their 8 am

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I parallel parked today. Y’all can’t call me short for 3 days

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Why don’t y’all just use your “thoughts and prayers” on corona virus like y’all do with mass shootings?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

marching band 😯🧸🥁 vs. now 🌚🙉💁🏽‍♀️

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

One time my mom took my birthday money away because I dislocated my brothers collar bone like those don’t even correlate just say you broke 🙄✋🏽

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

The madrinos and padrinos looked at me funny idk why

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Insomnia beats my ass every night but as soon as I get a drop off liquor in my system it’s suddenly mimis time?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Oh my sister put the filter on for you bitches!

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

WHERE ARE THE MONKEY POX STIMULUS CHECKS

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Moolah when he has to wear clothes that don’t have that ugly ass acronym #BadBoysLA

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Honestly if Coachella is actually in October that shit might bang. No heat stroke? Fits might pop off more 👀👀👀

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

I could never be an Internet personality because someone would upload a video of me railing lines and then I’d have to post a notes app apology

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I always have the most boring dreams. Tell me why I had a dream of me warming up tortillas on a comal? I wonder what I was making lowkey

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Defund the police and have them protect themselves with these only

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Forgot to post this but I had a great time at Cuhhloween #toxico

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

There’s a group of white guys playing basketball at a court that is closed for social distancing. Should I call the cops?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

@LeoVillalobos95 was pretty bummed that Coachella got postponed so papa sent me his Day 2 fit to make him feel a lil better

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

First time gambling and I won $23. Idk how y’all do this 9-5 shit

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Laura: Rudolph’s nose was so red because he was doing all the blow. How do you think he made all of those deliveries?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

To cure your Monday blues 😏

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Can Biden win already so I can start tweeting some disrespectful shit

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

I live with three girls but they drink like MEN

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

*me playing Pokémon Go* Laura: David how about you go catch you some bitches? :/

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I’m blacking out at the first festival I go to. I was gonna do that regardless but still

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

*Laura checking one of her students completed assignments* Laura: “why did you do 5 days of math homework in one day? How about you go get you some bitches?”

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I’m telling y’all you need to interact with those receiving money tweets. I just got an email chipotle is getting sued and they are running me a check bless up

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

If Biden wins tonight I’ll try and get suspended again

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Giving up rent for lent y’all be easy now

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Saweeties McDonald’s collab gonna be the burger that killed the health inspector from spongebob

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Still haven’t got my stimmy yet, I heard only pretty bitches don’t have their stimmy yet

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Remember to put your crocs in sport mode for civil war tomorrow

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

My nephew said “Boo”

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Not me taking a hit when I don’t smoke and then I have to talk to the census guy at my front door and having to confirm that I am Latino as well as male

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Pregaming my grandpas funeral with @highthereLaura it’s not like he’s gonna die any harder

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

1 year

Okay who did this to me?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

I know season 4 of Elite has been basically porn but might I introduce you to:

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

If you were that tall Mexican man I kissed today at day trip hello compa let’s do it again

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

1 year

Me putting air in Laura’s tires

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

First day of my new job hopefully I get some bitches

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

my boss is letting me take some toilet paper home. maybe he ain’t that bad

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

I farted rn and my Siri turned on LOLOLOLOL

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

1 year

The duality of women @loveeejasmin

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

My barber asked if she could put my cut on her insta. Got me feeling all cute and shit

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

How are you wearing gloves in a grocery store but buying grocery store sushi? DO YOU WANT TO LIVE OR NOT

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

My mom got me these f-bomb napkins lol

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Someone brought up the idea that at least there will be no more school shootings lol

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Oh y’all forgot how I be getting down in the kitchen huh?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Laura says animals are drawn to me because I seem “non-threatening”. I think that’s just her way of saying idk how to fight

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

1 year

This weather got the hedges falling off the bone

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Fenty underwear for men?! I can’t wait to look like a fucking WHORE

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Remembering that one time when my little brother wore glasses for years but then it turns out he was just dyslexic LOLOLOLOL

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

@ child protective services wtf is goin on here bro!?

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

Alright since all these bitches in Mexico the same height as me who wanna fucking fight

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

2 years

Cerrotes Con Jugetes

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

We deadass at a dogs birthday party taking shots

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Omg girl where is your mask? 🙈🙄✋🏽

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

I made a joke that I was a virgin and my mom believed me. Damn she don’t think I get bitches

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

The day has come that me only being able to use twitter on browser from being suspended too many times has paid off. I’m not able to view any twitter stories of you bitches getting boba 😌

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

4 years

Not my sister calling to tell me she’s pregnant. Her greedy ass just want that extra stimmy 🙄🤚🏽

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Main Gay Friend

@jail_HAUS

3 years

When they try to give you one sauce for 20 nuggets

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