wendy @jadepiercer Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱🔞 shameless degenerate porn plot, pls don’t take seriously alhaitham transmigrates into a trashy video game where he is an npc that will get rescued by the protagonist. which is fine, except this is a harem game, and he’s the first member. also, he’s wearing a mesh bikini.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

i want mehrak to treat alhaitham like e’ming treats xie lian. absolute head over heels smitten with him. mehrak is sooo happy whenever it gets to levitate him. it has a permanent blushy smile whenever alhaitham is around

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱🔞 werewolf kaveh always looks forward to his rut bc it means he’ll get to fuck his roommate for days and days. succubus haitham, on the other hand, has more complicated feelings about it.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

size queen alhaitham is good but u know what’s also good? virgin alhaitham whose pussy is so tight that kaveh has to train him with fingers and vibrators and dildos before he’s able to take kaveh’s massive dick 😌

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wendy

@jadepiercer

20 days

stoic bottoms r hot bc their fuck-me eyes get so sultry and uncharacteristically slutty. cheerful expressive tops r hot bc their usually bright eyes get all dark and lidded and almost threateningly intense

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

#kavetham 🏛️🌱 both kvh and hthm are inebriated, and kvh makes the very, very unwise decision to sleep with his roommate. the next morning, the bed is empty—hthm has already left for work. kvh should be happy about this. they’ll never have to speak of the matter again.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🔞🏛️🌱 alhaitham’s expression of shock and embarrassed arousal when he squirts for the first time is so lewd that kaveh can’t help but stuff his cock back inside and continue to fuck him, drunk on the wanton moans falling from haitham’s mouth

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

hc that kaveh switched from physically lifting his claymore to using mehrak to levitate it bc he felt the beginnings of carpal tunnel and said FUCK NOOOOO

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wendy

@jadepiercer

8 months

@lalamilali bulbaasaur adopted herself into the family hehe so cute!!!!!

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kavetham fallen angel au where haitham is cast out of heaven, allegedly for accessing forbidden knowledge. they break his wings before tossing him out, and he falls falls falls… plummets to earth like a dying star, beautiful yet in agonizing silence

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

@haithamhour does this mean he’s the government milf of sumeru

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

@s_dovetail kaveh’s calluses hands 🥺🥺 i love how he treats hthm’s feathers so gently, he thinks every part of hthm is precious!!!!!

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

alhaitham gives kisses like a little cat. he tilts his head up and presses his lips to kaveh’s in the softest, quickest little kiss—and then he’s off again, out the door for work or to the living room for another book

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

i know kaveh is a stick in official art but in my heart of hearts he is ripped… he wields a claymore with zero sweat… he’s a strong boi… can life haitham without any effort… just trust me guys…….

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

snow leopard alhaitham knows lion kaveh is in pre-rut when kaveh begins pouncing on his tail out of nowhere. he will be reading or cooking and suddenly be startled by teeth or hands yanking on his tail, kaveh’s satisfied face greeting him every time

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wendy

@jadepiercer

11 months

🏛️🌱 cuntboy sex pollen au where alhaitham’s mouth drops open and he creams himself the moment kaveh enters him, but because he’s silent and tense as he orgasms, kaveh doesn’t notice and fucks him straight into oversensitivity and incoherent gasps

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kavetham au where alhaitham is so chronically offline that kaveh feels completely secure using his priv twt to subtweet haitham, complain abt haitham, and also plan how to romance haitham

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wendy

@jadepiercer

10 months

@t3ru__ returning the dogs went like “how was he?” “very sweet and well-behaved ☺️” vs “oh he don’t bite” “YES HE FUCKIN DO”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

ok hear me out. kavetham 🏛️🌱 red string soulmate au where when kaveh broke off their friendship in their akademiya days, he also unknowingly rejected alhaitham as his soulmate.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🦁🏛️x🌱🔞 bestiality, umm this is kinda weird so don’t read it please <3 human alhaitham spends five years slowly earning the trust of a pride of rescued lions until he’s fully considered part of the pride.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱🔞 it’s succubus haitham’s first time having a womb tattoo, and he is very unused to the way it pulses gently with every exhale. but what he doesn’t know yet is that demon king kaveh designed it to become more and more intense every time haitham has a lewd thought 😳

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kavetham pacrim au where kaveh and alhaitham have known that they're drift compatible since their academy days, but a mission goes so drastically wrong that they break off their partnership. six years later, increasing kaiju attacks force them back into the cockpit together... 😳

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

#kavetham au where they trip and fall into each other during their akademiya days, but kaveh is a little too flighty and haitham is a little too blunt for it to work out. years later, after the bitterness has faded into a manageable ache, hthm offers kvh his spare room.

fran

@galacticidiots

2 years

Ohhh actually what I really want is a story about soulmates who broke up but still have to live in the same house, otherwise their soul marks hurt like hell, and it’s SUCH a clusterfuck of trying to live their lives separately TOGETHER and awkwardly dating other people

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

#kavetham lion kaveh has a barbed dick and haitham completely overlooks this little fact until they r naked and in bed and kaveh is about to put it in

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

@noxcturnes i bet he’d say something like “i learned basic combat techniques to ensure that my daily scribe duties proceed smoothly” and everyone’s like… wait. so u beat up ppl that don’t turn in their paperwork on time?? and he’s like “hmm.” and leaves 💀

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

one day alhaitham is caught in the crossfire of a spantamad experiment gone awry and comes home with grey cat ears and a fluffy tail. aside from demanding fish for dinner, he also exhibits many new and rather catlike behaviors

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kaveh stops him with a hand around his waist, pulling alhaitham to his chest. he leans in for a tender kiss. alhaitham can feel the outline of the words against his lips. “your wish is my command.” //

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱 kaveh sneakily makes 2 copies of their house key one day, so that he can melt down the originals and turn them into engagement rings 🥺🥺

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱🔞 in kaveh’s opinion, the best position for alhaitham to squirt is in a mating press. this way, he can’t twist away, can’t try to hide from kaveh’s greedy eyes. he can’t do anything but take it, overwhelmed and half-humiliated moans spilling from his lips as kaveh coaxes

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

3P 🔞🏛️🌱 kaveh is summoned to the sanctuary of surasthana one day on urgent business. for some reason, alhaitham is there, dressed in an outfit reminiscent of the eremites’ garb. beside him is lesser lord kusanali, and beside her is—alhaitham again. except this alhaitham stands

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

exes kavetham where kaveh moves out of haitham’s house in a blind rage after their spectacularly messy breakup. he searches the housing market every day for a full week, but nothing feels right. nothing feels like it could be a home.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

3 months

alhaitham has a pussy… trust me……. i’ve seen it……………

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

i just love it so much when bottoms squirm and beg and ask if it’s all the way in yet, it’s so big, too big, they’re already at their limit… and the top is only halfway inside 🤤

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

if alhaitham ever used mehrak in combat one day, mehrak would be doing the mecha equivalent of heart racing eyes wide red cheeks flustered and love struck… kaveh watching from the sidelines like 😐😐

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

@scaramochis_ SAME everyone else r tiptoeing around the matter but haitham’s the only one that’s put his foot down and is over seeing kaveh lead himself down a worse and worse path!! he’s saying what kaveh needs to learn, but since it’s him, kaveh always assumes he’s just being mean 🥲

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

and even then, haitham still gasps and squirms, overwhelmed by the feeling of something so big and hot inside him 😋

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

the first time kaveh proposes it, he has to really convince haitham to agree to ride his face. “is it like riding your dick?” he looks deeply reluctant. “i’m tired tonight.”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

@noxcturnes he’s a feminist until the patriarchy oppresses him in a way that’s beneficial for him personally

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kavetham (ft fem haitham) 🔞 beach day… semi public sex… they r swimming and kaveh pulls her close, from all accounts looking like an innocent couple chatting in the water. but in reality he is nudging his cock past her bikini and fucking her with the movement of the waves

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kavetham 3P where kaveh and his wife, red!alhaitham, fuck their neighbor (alhaitham) every night 😌

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🌱(→🏛️): even if i could fix him, i wouldn't. whatever's wrong with him is so much more entertaining 🏛️(→🌱): he's unfixable. it's impossible to even try. you won't even get two steps into it before you go crazy. just learn to live with him

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🔞🔞🔞 i miss haithussy so much… want it soaked and spread obscenely wide around kaveh’s most recent invention… every time kaveh (via mehrak) fucks the toy in, there r wet, filthy squelching noises that nearly drown out the cute little moans being punched out of haitham’s chest

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wendy

@jadepiercer

11 months

kaveh: oh he’s really tense, it must be painful… maybe it’s his first time? i’ll go slower so he can adjust alhaitham: (cumming all over himself from the overwhelming, mind-shattering feeling of kaveh’s massive cock in his pussy)

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

@hid301 KAVEH EAT IT OR I WILL!!!!!!!!!!

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kaveh always has to be careful overstimming haitham bc if he makes hthm come one too many times, he’ll just fall asleep immediately, no matter how hard he tries to stay awake and get kaveh off. so kaveh likes to pair their overstim play with some edging, and maybe some somno

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

alhaitham is achingly beautiful. he is pale skin and soft hair, sharp eyes that burn deep, like a fire raging beneath miles of clear aqua-turquoise-green ice. it hurts to look at him. kaveh cannot stop.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

but even his constitution cannot withstand such a prolonged assault on all his senses, and he is rather more demanding in the following days. luckily, kaveh is quite happy to spoil him senseless. //

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

in kaveh’s defense, haitham’s tail is very long and fluffy. the way it sways and flicks is mesmerizing to kaveh’s pre-rut brain. it also helps that catching it satisfies the primal rut-induced instinct to capture and claim alhaitham at every given opportunity 😌

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

it’s kiss day!!!!!! which means kaveh’s cock should Kiss haitham’s womb 😌

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

@_cvrsedryu kaveh: it’s fine if they see my naked ass but archons forbid they see a SINGLE INCH of my wife’s bare skin 😤😤

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

the bikini is—fine. it’s not the worst thing in the world. it garners many lecherous stares at the tavern but by that time, he’s figured out he can’t take it off without the system scrolling big red infringement warnings.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

i’ll be happy if kaveh leaves dendro constructs on field (he makes dendro dildos for haitham) but i’ll also be happy if he marks enemies with a dendro sigil (pulsing womb tattoo for haitham)

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

@hid301 NOOO HE’S CRYING 😭😭😭

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

fem kaveh is the type of lesbian that gets her nails done for a big event, only to go to the afterparty and bite her acrylics off to fingerfuck fem alhaitham properly

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

will make his favorite dish tonight—whether it’s an apology or an attempt at fixing this mistake will be up to hthm.’ he can only hope hthm will be receptive, and that the little spark of hope kvh had so uncaringly smothered last night has not been entirely snuffed out.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kavetham // (fake?) incest need one of those ridiculous porn plots where haitham gets stuck in the washing machine and gets railed by his stepbrother kaveh or something

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

just saw someone say that alhaitham fights like a brute. i would like to express my vehement disagreement with this description. what part of that flying split kick inspires the word "brute".

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱 transmigration au where alhaitham dies alone in his house, only to wake up and find himself in the world of teyvat as the protagonist’s cruel and unfeeling rival

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

alhaitham tunes him out. something fond and secret blooms in his chest. in time, perhaps this little flower could become something like love. alhaitham interrupts his companion’s rambling speech. “i want a big bed. and a window alcove for reading.”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

🏛️🌱 modern au grand scribe alhaitham gets flown out to the golden apple archipelago in a private jet. kaveh is the flight attendant on board and it’s a good thing the cabin has a large lie-flat bed because alhaitham is veryyy hungry 😋😋

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

he coaxes orgasm after orgasm out of alhaitham with his fingers and mouth—even his thigh, when he’d pushed alhaitham against the wall and forced alhaitham to find his climax grinding against his thigh or not at all. alhaitham had come embarrassingly quickly.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

dottotham 🔞 mindbreak noncon cuntboy alhaitham though haitham’s stamina is impressive, he’s still no match for the army of clit suction vibrators and mechanical dildos and nipple clamps that dottore has on hand.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

the protagonist puts up a token protest, but he quickly buckles after alhaitham pushes him down and straddles him. then he becomes the sex beast that every gamer dudebro wishes they were. he manhandles alhaitham with ease (something he refuses admit he’s turned on by).

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

he enjoys it, the feeling of kaveh near him and inside him, but it’s also rather overstimulating. physically, his succubus constitution ensures that he’s able to take even kaveh’s most frenzied states and harshest knotfuckings. mentally, it’s a different story.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

10 months

🏛️🌱🔞 alhaitham is a cumslut but he hates the feeling of dried cum on his skin. he likes the dicking, the creampie, and even the afterglow when it trickles out of his hole and makes kaveh’s expression go hungry again—but the minute it dries, he is completely over it

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

both of them are unrepentantly eager when kaveh (“my name. call out my name when you squirt on my fingers, alhaitham.”) finally pushes his cock inside. to alhaitham’s chagrin, kaveh truly is blessed with the protagonist’s magical healing dick halo—the mere act of putting it in

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

alhaitham is a cat that only likes one specific human. everyone else gets an escape artist that refuses to be pet for more than two minutes. kaveh gets greeted at the door with a loud meow and twists around his ankles. then he’s bullied into lap pets for an hour, napped on while

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

what's insane to me is how someone traces hwan, gets called out about tracing hwan, owns up to tracing hwan, then... continues to trace hwan. and keeps tagging it as the opposite late. and the opp lane just... lets it happen lol zero moral accountability from them at all!

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

love it when kaveh slams haitham down on his cock and haitham’s cute sprout and big tits and 🍑 bounce in time with kaveh’s thrusts 😋 little ah-ah-ah moans punched from his chest, eyes hazy and mouth falling open 😳

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

“oh hey, i’m kaveh!” says the mc. he winces, brushing at his armor. “sorry about the mess, i’m kinda new to this.” alhaitham sighs internally. what a horribly cheesy dialogue option to lead into their sex scene. of course the mc of a game like this would be bland.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

breath and fucks into him with feral abandon. moan after moan punches out of alhaitham’s chest. he sounds like a slut in a cheap porno, he notices, dazed. but his cries are real—and as kaveh rubs and flicks his clit, they increase in volume until he’s screaming with every thrust.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

the girls + alhaitham is one of my fave alhaitham friendships, because truly it is all about the girlies picking up their lazy, spoiled half-feral cat and taking him out on little walks

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

“i am alhaitham,” he introduces himself. they’re supposed to have sex now. that’s how npcs are added to the harem: the mc bangs them in a frankly unnecessary sex scene (interactive, the player can choose actions and dialogue options), the npc is added to inventory, etc etc.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kaveh things that alhaitham secretly loves: when kvh puts his hairpins in his mouth to redo his hair, when kvh casually manhandles him, when kvh does anything with his sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. the intense, focused look kvh gets when he’s working on something,

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

one reason why alhaitham is so enthusiastically welcomed at girls' night is bc he genuinely likes fruity little cocktails and will order them to sip with the girls with zero shame, no weird masculinity posturing necessary

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

i love thé kavetham sex dynamic where alhaitham completely and implicitly trusts kaveh—he’d let kaveh do anything to him, and would enjoy it too—but kaveh absolutely does not realize this until wayy after their first time

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

alhaitham flinches the exact same way as when kaveh bites his nipples during sex. it’s too cute, nearly addicting—his ears shoot up and his entire body twitches a bit, and if kaveh is lucky, he’ll even be rewarded with a pretty pink flush high on alhaitham’s cheeks

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

well. what he says shouldn’t matter anyways—the harem must have a first member and he’s the only fuckable person in the beginner’s region. he stalks over to the protagonist, somewhat aware of the clackclack of his heels against stone.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

there’s a dazed moment of silence before kaveh scrambles after him, leaving harem member #2 forgotten in the courtyard. “alhaitham- of course! i’ll build you a beautiful mansion with a library and a garden, and-”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

he’ll only be able to change clothes after he officially joins—starts, really—the protagonist’s harem. after that, alhaitham plans to lie low while the protagonist adds woman upon skimpily-dressed woman to their ballooning porn fantasy.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

his nipples strain against the mesh bikini as he leans into the mc’s space. his voice is low and almost bored when he speaks. “aren’t you going to fuck me yet?”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

they were betrothed at birth, but then haitham went missing (raised by 3 aranara in the woods) and then got himself cursed and then when kaveh heard, what was he supposed to do? let some other fool kiss his future wife (who was apparently alive this whole time)?? no fkin way

wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

#kavetham sleeping beauty au except kaveh bitches the whole quest abt how stupid and ungrateful haitham is, and haitham criticizes kaveh’s kissing technique the moment he wakes up

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

“because- because she’s not you!” kaveh bursts out. the ensuing silence is loud, stunned. “i can’t- i can’t have sex with anyone that isn’t you.”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

they keep going all night and well into the morning. at one point, kaveh even eased two oiled fingers into alhaitham’s ass while he fucked his pussy languidly, enjoying how alhaitham drooled and moaned uncontrollably, tongue hanging out of his mouth from the pleasure.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

sends alhaitham crashing over the edge of another mind-rending, drooling orgasm. he comes to with kaveh’s cock still hard inside him and embarrassed eyes on his. “did you- just come?” kaveh flushes bright red and looks away, stumbling over his words.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

“-and i know i’m not worthy of you right now,” kaveh is saying. “i barely have any money and i’m still too weak to protect you properly and i don’t even have a house- but. alhaitham. please believe in me. i’ll become better, stronger. just- just please, be mine, as i am yours.”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

against his will, alhaitham��s heart stutters in his chest. kaveh’s eyes are a fervent, luminous garnet-red, alight with a hero’s will. alhaitham spins around and stalks towards the exit. “build me a house, and i’ll consider it.”

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wendy

@jadepiercer

2 years

@noxcturnes THEY'RE SO...... i seize them by the hair sprouts and shake them around also see alhaitham's "i'm merely a feeble scholar" and zhongli's "hm? was i at the chasm? i must admit that this is the first time i'm hearing of such a thing"

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

he won’t have to do anything to make a living: the mc will unlock the mansion feature by harem member #3 and alhaitham can disappear into one of the many barely-furnished rooms while the mc and his simpering jiejies, wide-eyed meimeis, and

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

insomniac kvh watching him sleep until morning comes, when hthm blinks awake, returns his greeting, then tilts his chin a little to steal an innocent kiss, so light kvh barely feels it. then hthm will immediately get out of bed if kvh doesn’t instinctively pull him closer

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

feisty conquered generals beg for his dick in the underground sex dungeon or whatever. this plan gets off to a pretty good start. the mc saves the damsel in distress (him) from the terrible horrible first-boss-level mobs.

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

they’d been so caught up in lust that they hadn’t bothered stripping alhaitham all the way, merely pulling his bikini to the side to make way for kaveh to enter him. the sight of him now, covered in sweat and other fluids, must be incredibly lewd, because kaveh curses under his

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

kaveh: alhaitham is so infuriating!!!!!! he's lucky he's cute, or i would've left him ages ago!!!! everyone else: (cute???? your eyes are broken!!)

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

so once i read this fic that had this dildo that magically linked to ur dick so you’d feel the ghost sensation of ur actions on the dildo. um, anyways, pussy version of that for alhaitham… and kaveh fucking him while he gasps and moans trying to eat himself out…? anyone ? 🥺

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

no. absolutely not. the mansion! his peace and quiet! [he speaks the truth.] the system confirms. [the game’s code has been permanently altered.]

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wendy

@jadepiercer

1 year

alhaitham’s expression turns dark. “explain.” “i- i can’t get it up for anyone else anymore. you’ve, you’ve bewitched me or something, but- really, i swear, i only get turned on when i-” kaveh meets his eyes morosely. “when i think about you.”

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