I fell in love with a Twitter mutual I know it’s mad
We ain’t together because her oomfs would hold us back
I saw the Twitter spaces I wouldn’t want my child to grow in that
itachiszns and [REDACTED] it’s a culture clash
Sat down in the library pulled out my MacBook iPad iPhone and beats laid them all out like a money spread
Indian engineering students next to me: rattled
White matcha latte girls: whipped
University students:
#MOGGED
I can say things other men simply cannot because they're scared
Scared of either wife or work
I run both - business & household
My wife has me saved in her phone as 'imam'
She has never called me by my name, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ
The righteous men are indeed the imams of women.
If you said Indians 🇮🇳 don’t have skibidi RIZZ, watch this!! 👀 Hey shorty 🥵 I GYATTT to get your number 🍑 I normally edge to duke Dennis and Kai cenat 🥷🏾 but your level 10 GYATTT is MEWING at me 😩so let me grab them skibidi digits 📲🤙🏾
Jayoma: Who’s the best lawyer?
kastro: Jayoma
Jayoma: And why am I the best lawyer?
kastro: Got my case dismissed
Jayoma: And what were you charged with?
kastro: Indecent exposure
Jayoma: How much prison time were you looking at?
kastro: 10 years
me: taking a shower
my demons: wtf is with all these people here
me: thats oomf😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Usher’s son steals his dad’s phone to message PinkPantheress on Instagram in cute interaction:
“Hello this is Usher's son Naviyd I'm you true biggest fan please follow me back…I put him on to masterpieces”
Drake is a pedophile
Kendrick is a wife-beater
Ye is a Nazi
J. Cole is ass
Lets face it at the end of the day the fate of hip-hop lies in the hands of ITACHISZNS
To that one oomf who always likes my tweets do not fret I’ve got you written into my will all your kids and grandkids will be fed for generations to come
Spurs staff have been advised never to phone Victor Wembanyama after 9:30. That’s when he reads for an hour and falls asleep.
Wemby is locked in. 📖
(via Mike Monroe /
@TheAthletic
)