maggie ✨🧚‍♂️ @illuminateddino Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@solos_gallery

maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 months

things i used to hate but now i love: my gut

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

about to have sex w this 24 y/o and i turn on dave matthews and he goes “oh my mom listens to this”

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 months

in the year that i’ve been single i’ve been promoted, received two raises, received a pretty big bonus, lost 20lbs, gone on 3 vacations and have been taken off every. single. medication. that i was on.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 months

it is sundress season

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 months

yooooooooo

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

a little over a month ago i slit my wrists and landed myself in a psychiatric hospital and today all i wanna do is live. it can get better.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

I JUST DRANK A MONSTER ENERGY DRINK AND I'M STILL DEPRESSED BUT LIKE, EXCITEDLY.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 months

would you hike w me

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

a guy asked me if my pussy looked like a hotdog bun and i told him it looked like an old sloppy joe and he blocked me.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

2 years

please don’t memorialize me on a car window when i die

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

the girl in the restroom stall next to me was crying so i reached under to high five her and she just whispered “what the fuck”

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

9 months

i rly used to hate my body and i’m so happy that’s no longer the case

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

Ladies could change their avi to a head of lettuce and they’d still get some dumbass in their DM’s like “damn, I wanna put my dick in that lettuce.”

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

8 months

lookin for someone to peel my oranges

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 months

it’s a beautiful day in colorado

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

5 years

WHERE ARE ALL THE FREE DRUGS THAT D.A.R.E. SAID I’D BE OFFERERED?

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

y’all ever meet someone and be like “wow we could have just stayed strangers”

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

sup

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Face down, ass up, that’s the way I like to look for monsters under the bed.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

DM: what’s your figure like? me: *looking down at body* bursting can of biscuits.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

i am really becoming myself and it’s hot as fuck

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

hashtag new profile pic and be nice to me

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Does my ass make my ass look big?

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

i pierced my septum even tho y’all told me not to

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 months

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

onlyfans? why would i make someone pay for nudes when i can give them to men that don’t really love me for free

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

thinking about getting eaten by a mountain lion ✨

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 months

i need to get a tan

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

I hate when I go to the gym and someone’s doing yoga on the napping mats.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

i don’t come to your dumpster and tell you how to run things

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

@iluvbutts247 Dat ass.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

i’ll masturbate to my own pics idgaf

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

two months since i self harmed can i get a hell yeah

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

8 months

exactly 1 yr ago vs this year

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Beards and baseball caps are dude’s version of makeup. Fight me.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

hey y’all i got the job that i wanted can i get a hell yeah

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

hi i feel pretty today

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

{me, in a horror film} *runs three steps* *panting* ah, fuck it. just kill me.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

Great money saving tip: Die.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

imagine being 30 and going over to a guys house and finding out he sleeps on a mattress on the floor.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

hashtag no filter

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

my new boyfriend won’t jizz in a tiny jar for me and let me wear it as a necklace

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Fifty Shades of Grey as read by Gilbert Gottfried.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

your face is stupid and i want to sit on it.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

why isn’t anyone obsessed with me right now

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

me trying to make new friends: hi, i’m mentally ill.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

why isn’t anyone obsessed with me

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Guys like to think that their penises are magical cure-alls, but I sucked a dick once and I’m still sad.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

5 years

Not everyone is going to like you; for example, me. I don’t like you.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

hello i felt cute

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

i am a hopeless romantic and it’s fucking gross

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Pretty amazing how we work 24/7 to maybe go on a shitty vacation and then die.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

5 years

picture me naked in your bed. no, grosser.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

hi

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

2 years

a year ago today i was in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt and today i’m happy to be here

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

someone lucky is gonna get the world from me

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

DMs open if you’re hot

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

5 years

I am the hottest girl crying in the Target parking lot right now.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

“Leggings aren’t pants.” Listen, pal, you’re lucky I even put clothes on at all.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

validate me

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

i am the hottest girl masturbating in this walmart parking lot

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

kinda wish we still had fleets anyway my hair is v dark now

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

“can you pass a drug test?” yes i love drugs

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

7 years

"I'm not like other girls," I say as I unzip my skin suit to reveal the lizard person underneath.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

if you’re gonna send me a dick pic, don’t do it in the DMs. share it on the TL so we can all look at it.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

had a teenager tell me that i “look really good for my age.” i’m 31.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

my friend’s dad sent me the fire emoji on instagram so how do i tell my friend i’m her new mom?

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

“I bet my cock would make you happy ;)* Yes, internet stranger, the only thing that can save me from the cliffs of despair is your repugnant cock. Thank you.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

why do all men over 40 dress like adam sandler

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

calling every man that DMs me “champ” and “buddy”

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

“i love your curves” thanks, i eat a lot of bread and cheese

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

All you fools have Alexa and I'm over here just screaming random questions at my roommate and making her cry.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

the booty in question

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

high

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

RT if you have a 70s bush or crippling anxiety

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

got into a fight with some anti maskers in line at starbucks inside target. they told me to keep my dirty looks to myself and i thanked them for 400k dead in less than a year and not being able to travel internationally and told them that i hoped their coffee tastes like shit.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

fuck a weighted blanket run me over with a car

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

WHY ISN’T ANYONE OBSESSED WITH ME

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

5 years

“You can’t wear leggings as pants.” Kiss my cameltoe, Karen.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

4 years

y’all i am looking pretty good.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

hello it me w no filter and au naturale

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

5 years

THANKS A LOT, GUYS. I’m losing followers because I’m retweeting your STUPID STUFF.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

me, trying to make new friends: Hi, I’m sad.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

Sometimes I feel like social media is turning me into a negative person, but then I see a cute video of a cat being rescued or a girl gagging on a big dick and I remember that the internet is a truly beautiful place.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

i have the confidence of a much more attractive woman

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

6 years

I like to imagine that my soulmate is somewhere eating cold pizza in their underwear too.

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maggie ✨🧚‍♂️

@illuminateddino

3 years

the saddest thing i’ve ever done is beg to stay where i’m not wanted

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