the great clown snorman @iamschvitzing Twitter profile

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 months

student walkout at Duke university commencement as Jerry Seinfeld’s speech is announced. his introduction by university president is being drowned out by “free free Palestine” chants ❤️‍🔥🇵🇸

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 months

they finally got him. they made snoopy gay

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

7 months

oh no that’s not

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 months

this is my footage!! will open my DMs briefly…

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

@elizamclamb we can’t look at the screen long enough to tweet about it

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 months

@sarahhdewberry Hi Sarah, I’ll follow you to get more info and will look at a contract if there is one, thanks

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

boygenius

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

@planetJoseph @laurenharkawik @poliwagg @AyanaGray his grown son Adam

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 months

@BringDaNoyz their marriage is thriving

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

the new york mets when it’s past my bedtime

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

me, homemaker:

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

i will retweet any and all of god’s creatures removing symbols of colonial violence with their tiny wordless paws, claws, and beaks

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

@bartleby_era i never put two and two together to realize that my ankles falter when I wear my heaviest clompers. thank you

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

this is the woman at panera bread who taught 15 year old me how to unclog a dishwashing sink

Brian Jordan Alvarez

@brianjoralvarez

4 years

This was the first girl you worked at a restaurant with if you grew up in the south

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

@tykelly11 @ellesep this is so heartwarming and makes me so sad

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

photos from mom's wedding came in

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

the best thing fordham ever did for me was not putting an expiration date on my student ID. just used it to get 10% off at a dispensary lmao

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

look at this watermelon slice I cut

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

@bartleby_era it looks like he’s getting by

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

they’re called BOYFRIEND jeans because you wear them when you PEG your BOYFRIEND

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

fellas,

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

a valiant attempt by mother nature to wash FCLC into the sea

PM Breaking News

@PMBreakingNews

5 years

Breaking: A massive water main break on the Upper West Side in Manhattan has caused multiple streets to flood and delays at the Lincoln Center station.

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

we are a pointed toe loafer / square toe loafer couple but we manage to work through this fundamental difference

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

iiiii hate getting catcalled on my own sTrEeT!! except for that one time when a dude called me "yee haw" because he remembered the time I wore my cowboy hat around the block. that was very respectful.

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

10 months

the most insidious form of holocaust denial is not criticism of the Israeli occupation, but the actions of the israeli government, the IDF, their allies and their apologists in their efforts to wipe out the Palestinian people and culture. this is a genocide. this is a holocaust.

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

soft smiles first time at wrigley lfgm

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

happier now bc I know how to cook latkes (2015/20)

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

@DaveMcNamee3000 this is the nightstand

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

@t_NYC Walgreens will mail you a PCR for free w/insurance thru labcorp! usually pretty fast + helpful when in isolation

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

yes the gender on the california sport fishing license i just bought is nonbinary. yes women want me fish fear me. yes

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

not to be Gross but I just remembered how ~6 months into dating nick and i were like "wow the honeymoon phase of this thing isn't going away..." and almost 4 years later it still hasn't haha:'~) I love my wife

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

9 years

in 1996 my mom made a mixtape for going into labor with me

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

if you ever get sad, remember that Fordham hands a class of gabelli students $1 million real us currency out of the school endowment to invest in the stock market, and feel worse

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

presenting without context

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

you've heard of elf on a shelf, but have you heard i am deeply depressed

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

got a pic with guy harvey while wearing my “women want fish me fear me hat” I feel like the king of florida

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

7 months

@komrade_kratom it’s a thrift store im losing my mind

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

little boys dinner last night >

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

I'm a @RaxKingIsDead Tacky giveaway winner & ever since I got the email my left & right boobs have been fighting over which one gets the martini girl tattoo

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

12 days

before and after hairs cut today🧍

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

Ladies, if he: - washes his hands all the time - is covered in fur - eats grapes with two hands - is a member of the procyonid family - spends all night awake but is active in daylight to take advantage of available food sources He's not your man. He's a raccoon.

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

I thought the family I babysit for was trying to ghost me because I’m indoctrinating their children but it turns out they were just busy! anyways, today I taught clementine about unions

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

POV you are Tacky by @RaxKingIsDead and I am reading you

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

@ViewChicago

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

nobody: white cishet men coming out of the public restroom: *claps* alright let's do this

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

NO GENDER 🦢 GO

the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

ok we are improvising it's getting real close

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

we were living in nyc during its height of the pandemic (spring 2020), in la during its height of the pandemic (winter 2020-21), and moved to chicago just in time to witness the lollapalooza super spreader event of 2021

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

channeling miss beer cat

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

we are leaving Chicago and moving to the north SF bay area, sonoma county, specifically. thank you for being kind, Chicago friends, we’ll share some beers before the departure next month (hmu if you haven’t already). if you’re in the bay/Sonoma, also hmu🥲💞

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

11 months

i understand him more now that i am an adult

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

30 of years. 30 jazz of years jazz. send tweet

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

made angela take pics of me in front of the “chicago’s little lady” life preserver because im 5’2

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

funniest selfie I took this year (so far)

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

7 years

i do believe in love

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

monday day off ➡️ tuesday work

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

@PaoloAPalma I want to attach this tweet to the form I need to drop my philosophy major

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

gonna put "hid the fact that I was in the new york times from my mom and extended family for four months and nobody knew ANYTHING until my mom decided to google my name because she's just like that" on my resume

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

dinner pic

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

you’ve got a nine to five so i’ll take ... ... ... the NIIIIIIIIGHT SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFT

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

pov we’re only here briefly and want to share a beautiful summer afternoon by the boathouse with you

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

vegan chicky noodle soup

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

in other news here's my pomegranate cake(s), one gf, both vegan

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

hello and welcome to this evening's presentation of the basil photocopier picture show

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

here she is in good light!!

the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

my grandma mailed me a quilt!! and it's the prettiest and most intricate and biggest one out of the 6 she's made that I have & keep with me

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 months

lfgm!!!!!!!

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

she was a rose hill philosophy student for fucks sake!!!

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 months

we got a “don’t be embarrassed of your privilege” (to resounding applause), “don’t be afraid to make people laugh because you don’t want to offend them” (also to resounding applause) and “fall in love” (no mention of the teenager). fuck this guy always :)

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 months

happy birthday to me, jesus, trans people, and christopher walken

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

the rat's name is Remy blah blah why doesn't anyone ever mention that the redhead's name is Alfredo Linguine

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

gm

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

none of his teammates did shit while he knelt. makes this interview even more of a gut punch.

Steve Gelbs

@SteveGelbs

4 years

“I think the most difficult part is to see that people still don’t care.” Just heartbreaking.

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

@tipping_pitches the new york mets rn:

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

opening day fit check

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

so I guess if I acknowledge you at a family function you either 1) are gay 2) have weed or 3) we have a long history at the kids table

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

she’s going to propose a trade offer

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

drinking an alamo

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

if Fordham will ban students for justice in Palestine without cancelling school on Jewish holidays it proves this school’s commitment to making my life difficult

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

hi friends! @garhcin and I are leaving brooklyn when our lease is up and moving to his hometown outside of L.A. we will be driving (!!) west at the end of august. whether we say goodbye irl-but-distanced or not, please send us playlists for the drive 💖

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

6 years

mitski: me and my husband we’re sticking together me: time to get married

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

it’s my birthday. it’s @xboygeniusx day. it’s I’m-gonna-try-to-give-a-quarter-of-the-cast-of-Buffy-the-vampire-slayer-free-beer-in-a-windowless-convention-center day/weekend. christopher walken is 80. I drafted this tweet two days ago. for a moment, the world feels right

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

I think the girlies at the laundromat are gonna love my shirt

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

8 months

willem dafoe in cinched waist belted jumpsuit you have to stop. you smoke too hard. your

Andrew

@Swordfish978

8 months

Unbelievable swag

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

I want to experience what a dish goes through when it's in a dishwasher

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

the ways in which we are grilling and chilling 🤨

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

1 year

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

a white woman wearing an asshat (a trilby/fedora) stole a deli cat and i will literally kill her

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

hon hon hon

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

2 years

face

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

beets made my tofu & oyster mushrooms look like I cooked them in powerade

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

5 years

@lilradishn sooooo what you're telling me is you've never done a shred of political or community organizing

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝐴𝑇

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

my grandma mailed me a quilt!! and it's the prettiest and most intricate and biggest one out of the 6 she's made that I have & keep with me

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

4 years

if you're one for praying, please include nick's grandpa, our dear friend and comrade, Howard Mandel in your prayers. he's just been admitted to the hospital with covid-19 ❤️

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 months

I don’t like to engage with bad faith tweets like this, but Fred, this is my video, and my Jewish siblings and I grew up in the same Broward County that your daughter did. The most Jewish thing about us is our belief that Palestinians should live freely on their land

Fred Guttenberg

@fred_guttenberg

3 months

Students walked out of Duke University commencement today because the speaker was Jewish. They walked out to confirm that they are antisemitic and that this is about hatred of Jewish people Who did they walk out on? The comedian @JerrySeinfeld .

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the great clown snorman

@iamschvitzing

3 years

it continues to astound me that she can be this snuggly

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