Cup ☕f Joe. @I_Bl33d_Purple Twitter profile

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

7 days

Most people only see the decisions you made, not the choices you had.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Don't be sad dirty dishes, nobody's doing me either.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

At my age, you have home Ibuprofen and work Ibuprofen.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

When my girlfriend is really mad at me, I put a cape on her and tell her, there, now you're super mad.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Not to brag guys but, I got so much procrastinating done today.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

That awkward moment when you realize there is no awkward moment, but rather, you're just awkward.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

I felt this...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

A big shout out to all the people who walked out of my life and made it better.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Truthful Tuesday: - I still turn off the basement lights and run upstairs like a little bitch.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Common sense...... There's NO app for that.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

No Grandma, a brothel is not a soup kitchen.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

7 years

You look like a person who keeps talking to the cashier after you've paid for your crap.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Hey you......I saw that. - Karma.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Here's some happy...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Never, ever and I mean this, ruin an apology with an excuse. Write that down.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

At my age, I still do dumb shit, but only slower.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

8 years

Your inner beauty, that's your silver lining.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

I wish more people were fluent in kindness.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

When I die, someone, please attend my funeral dressed as the Grim Reaper and just stand there and don't say a word. Thanks.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

I heard it from a follower who heard it from a follower who said you've been subtweeting around.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

I told you so, you idiot. - Your intuition.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

A smile is the best makeup any women can wear.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

[All bears coming out of hibernation this year] Where the fuck is everyone...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

7 years

All I'm saying is Victoria's Secret charges more per cup than Starbucks.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Your tweets are so awesome, I don't know whether to follow you or spoon you.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

A shoutout to all the people who have taught me who I never want to be.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Here's some happy...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

My trail mix is Xanax, Viagra, Porn and Twitter.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

Hear me out, a leaf blower, but for people.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

No Grandma, poontang is not Kool-Aid.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

Just remember, if you can't tweet something nice, at least make it funny or sarcastic.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

At my age, you can spell Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen without googling it.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

You know what I like about you the most....your dog.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Here's some happy...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

At my age, the older I get, the uglier I'm willing to go out in public.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

A hug so good, it's medicinal.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

8 years

No Grandma, T-Mobile is not a rapper.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

At my age I'm allowed to start my day with Captain Morgan and end my day with Captain Crunch.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of vanilla extract.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Hold me closer tiny Xanax.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

I don't mean to brag, but I am a wooden spoon survivor.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

Name one good thing that's happened in 2020. It's ok, I'll wait.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

If you haven't used your dogs name for a password, you're dead to me.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

Dear Autocorrect, Fuck is a real word.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

The best listeners always hear what people are not saying.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

At my age, I no longer wonder if people like me, I wonder if I like them.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

Texas: Don't mess with Texas. Old Man Winter: Hold my beer bro.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

I just febreezed my crocs in case you want to go somewhere fancy tonight darlin.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

8 years

Does running with the devil count as exercise.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

All I'm saying is, time wasted with your dog is time well spent.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

7 years

Whoever said you can't buy love has never owned a dog.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Putting your phone down and enjoying life is self care.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

8 years

If my memory serves me, the last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

8 years

Never stab someone and then pretend you're the one bleeding. That's evil.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

I'm no doctor, but I know all smiles are medicinal.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

It's a retweet, not a heart transplant.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

My dog sure likes to go for a lot of car rides for a person who never pays for gas.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

90% of adulthood is just going to the grocery store.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Here's some happy...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

I like my Tupperware how I like my women, with the top missing.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

Being alone is a power most people can't handle.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

If dogs charged for their therapy sessions, they would be billionaires.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

In life you will have to determine who is gold and who is gold plated.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

7 years

Pull an all nighter....I'm 46, I can barely pull an all dayer.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

I never gave you a reason to hate me, you create your own drama and doubt.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

Just because Whiskey is not the answer, doesn't mean it's not worth a shot.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

Dogs are therapists in disguise.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

I don't believe anyone is sent to anyone by accident. It's fate.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

You know why dogs are so amazing... They never fake their feelings or love. 💜

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

I wanna be your answer, not your question.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

At my age, my escargot has definitely escargone.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

When a person knocks the wind out of you with their smile. Sexy af.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Here's some happy...

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

At my age, I'm not fighting for a spot in anyone's life.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

8 years

Don't look at her boobs. Don't look at her boobs. Don't look at her boobs. *looks at her boobs* FUCK !

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

Remember that time you woke up with no aches and pains. Me neither.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

I just wanna make better bad decisions.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

People who smile when it's raining are my kind of people.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

Please don't ever make people feel like they're auditioning for a place in your life.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

When a person makes you smile from the inside. That.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

9 years

A passionate women is always worth the chaos and time.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

I want my followers recounted. I thought I had a few more.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

I want all black licorice removed from store shelves.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

This is not what 2020 looked like in the brochure.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

At my age, kindness, empathy and trust is what impresses me.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

I don't care what you wear, but respect always looks good on anyone.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

At my age, you turn down the radio to see better.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

At my age, I'm 75 percent water and 25 percent Ibuprofen.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

Just remember if someone helps you and they're struggling too, that's love.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

@amyschumer

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

I'm not gonna lie, at my age I'm attracted to kindness, respect and loyalty.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

It takes a lot of courage to show someone your weaknesses.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

6 years

The truth never apologizes to anyone for anything. Remember that.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

I measure people by the size of their heart.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

5 years

At my age, I get excited about cancelled plans.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

At my age "friends with benefits" is someone who has a handicap parking pass.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

I just blocked and reported 2020. I've had enough of that shit.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Not gonna lie, being an adult is out of my price range now.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

4 years

All I'm saying is betrayal never comes from your enemies.

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Cup ☕f Joe.

@I_Bl33d_Purple

3 years

Everyone cries and laughs in the same language.

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