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natalayhehoo

@highprobably1

39,535
Followers
2,516
Following
4,190
Media
44,502
Statuses

This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.

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Joined August 2020
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
I will “baby girl” a 6’2” man, idgaf
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 months
I’m roasting garlic in the oven. My 13 year old thinks it smells like weed. I can relax now, confident that my youngest child has never smoked weed.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 years
Out of an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship with an narcissist after 15 years 🙌🏻
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 months
Oh look, it’s my coping mechanisms
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 months
If I have to switch from the heat to the ac one more time this week, I’m pretty sure it’s going to open a portal to another dimension.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 months
@DemocracyDfendr At least she’s not smoking shit then
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 years
In my defense, they weren’t called ‘tramp stamps’ when I got one
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Just heard someone asking for directions in a gas station like our forefathers
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
I’m not moving from this spot and you can’t make me
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
My ex told me it was inappropriate for me to wear shorts after I turned 39. I wear the shortest ones I can find now 💅🏻
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
I’m not moving from this couch until it’s time to go to bed
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m pretty gangsta for a white woman in my 40s
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Just once, when a man asks me what I like to do for fun, I’m going to respond “masturbate”.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
My gag reflex is on point
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m too pretty to be this single
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
“Divorce sucks”, yeah, but you know what DOESN’T suck? Doing everything on your own when he said there was no way in hell you could.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Dudes in my dms saying I’m “stunning” and “gorgeous”. Dudes in real life say, “excuse me, ma’am, you’re blocking the way to all the cheese.”
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Selfie Sunday because I can
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
All these peeps not believing I’m over 40 have me pretty happy on this rainy Sunday 😂😘
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
6 months
Reasons I can’t sleep at night this week: I have arms - seriously where do they go comfortably? My brain won’t stop thinking “Butthole Surfers is the craziest band name ever” I said something mildly embarrassing 19 years, 4 months, and 6 hours ago
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Had to clean up and do shit today - time to chill now
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
A man on the internet thinks my tattoos distract from my beauty. However shall I recover from this blow?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m a sucker for a pretty dick
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Why do people say “dream job”? My dream is literally to not have to have a job.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
What is everyone wearing for WW3?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I think I’m gonna drink beer and chill
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
“I have something to tell you later”. No, no you do not. You have something to tell me right now or my anxiety will take us both out.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’ll wear your hoodie without a top on underneath, idgaf
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’d friendzone you but I don’t like you as a friend either.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Y’all… I have a confession. I think bacon is overrated.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 years
I followed you for that one good tweet
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Had a man tell me to go northeast like I know what that means
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Being single in your 40s is wild. I’m impressed by a full head of hair.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Sorry I told you the wrong way to Pound Town. I’m terrible with directions.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Sorry. I bite when I get excited
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Gimme my man card- I just ratchet strapped a load in the truck and said, “well, that’s not going anywhere.”
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
My tits identify as your pillow
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
This dress has pockets 💁🏼‍♀️ so selfie, it’s science
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Been getting a lot of “do you like bbc?” comments lately, and honestly, what’s not to like about the British Broadcasting Corporation?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
You think your ho’ing days are over, then bam! You get divorced in your 40s.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Friday night in my pajamas before 9pm- such a rebel
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Tuesday night no pants is a thing, right guys?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m going to suck your soul out of your peehole
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
He thinks I’m sweet. Boy, is he gonna be surprised
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Got eye fucked by my waiter tonight. That’s the most action I’ve had in months
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Sometimes when I need a little extra help, I look at my divorce papers when I masturbate
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
*boops your morning wood with my ass*
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Sunday Funday? Football and laundry day
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Him: what that mouth do? Me: probably make you cry
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Eat me like the peach I am
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Is it too much to ask to have some war drums playing in the background when I get pissed?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Is it too much to ask for a 200lb+ man to pin me down on the bed?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
I just accidentally liked a tweet with my tit
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Apparently I don’t tweet enough selfies? 😂 Happy weekend!
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m not sure it’s healthy to be this horny all the time.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I can never be a cougar because I like older men
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Fuck it. I’m getting drunk
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I solemnly swear I am up to no good
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Are you gonna make me cum or what?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Sunny Sundays are the best
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
It’s a blast Deftones on my lunch break kinda day
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I get it, guys. I follow back funny, pretty girls too.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Twitter is like the cool table in the prison cafeteria
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
A man who knows how to kiss is fucking dangerous
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
You look sketchy. Followed.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
“I think about you all the time”, is manspeak for “I jerk off to you”. Don’t fall for it, girls.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
The dads at this trampoline park have figured out I’m unattached and have sent forth a contender.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
7 months
I annihilated my 20 year old son at Mortal Kombat and Tekken. Therefore a healthy dynamic has reemerged in my household.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Don’t fuck with me. I’ll soak your cast iron pan.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 months
@SeedyROM 😂 well shit
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Let me save you the trouble of dm’ing me: 1. I don’t want to fuck you 2. I don’t want to see your dick Good talk
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Welcome to your 40s: you pull a muscle while masturbating now.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’d tweet my ass but I can’t have anyone else fall in love with me right now.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’ve come to the realization that men think every app is a dating app.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m fucked up but at least I’m adorable about it.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
My tits are too nice to be single
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Older men at the office are obligated to say “here comes, trouble”, every time they see me
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
You’re cute. Let me sit on your face.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
My pussy is much nicer than I am
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I’m tiny, put off an insane amount of body heat, and I’m terrible for you. I’m basically a hot pocket.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Name something better than soft and slow kissing… I’ll wait
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I got hit on by a 24 year old guy and I don’t know if I feel flattered or I want to put him in timeout
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Welcome to your 40s. You’re either hungry or horny- and it’s probably both.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Fellas, the eye contact directly to checking out the tits is not as slick as you think it is.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out that Red Hot Chili Peppers are their favorite band
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Apparently it’s National Selfie Day
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Nice to meet you, I’m the family disappointment
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
It’s not my fault I’m attracted to men who look like lumberjacks or crab boat fishermen
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Southern girl sext
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
I live in Kentucky and just heard “sushi” pronounced in 6 fucking syllables.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Just watched a dude walk into a brick pillar because he was staring at my tits
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
Rocking a Tool shirt AND a flannel today like the 90s girl I still am
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
C’mere and lemme squish that dad bod
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Halfway through this week
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
1 year
Every fucking man that has ever been interested in me has messaged me this week, so what the fuck is up with the zodiac?
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
3 years
I have a 3 pound dog and a 130 pound dog. If that doesn’t explain my decision making skills I don’t know what will.
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
It’s Friday, bitches 🙌🏻
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
I don’t trust anyone born after the 80s… and y’all in the 87-89 range are still pretty sketchy
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
It’s too hot to keep my legs together
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@highprobably1
natalayhehoo
2 years
My soul mate is probably on a different continent. Most likely India if my message requests are any indication.
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