need to get this out
On my recent (removed) post I saw this retweet
I genuinely got very upset and uncomfy, cause sh shouldn’t be compared or argumentative against literal world wide conflicts
I have so much sorrow and pity for the people there, but these are two dif problems plz
I Wonder how my blood would look in the snow
How it would feel to lay down on my back and freeze as the snow turns deep red
To feel alive & dead at the same time
Let it pour from my wrists as I wait,
As I let the world cave in
Don’t let my bleeding body distract you.
Let it rest
My dad told me to kill myself again
I’m in school right now, and I might do it
Gonna slash my wrist ok the school toilet
He might be happy for once then
Relapsed yesterday with a one swipe fascia
The razor was broken, but it worked with some pressure.
Anyways- I’ve become so addicted to drugs and alcohol instead of sh’ing
I’m literally selling my body for fueling my substance abuse
Ik it’s not healthy, but I’m broke and desperate
Found these at a outlet
Don’t think they’ll do shit, cause they’re so tiny and dull (I think)
But I’ll always give it a try, it’s still something, and it was really cheap. So why not, worth a chance
My dad took everything to a different level today.
He now abused me in front of everyone, in a public space FILLED with people.
A couple approached me and asked if I was okay and if my dad hits me and harms me. I just sobbed while he ran away and ppl watched in horror. Kill me
Why tf didn’t anyone tell me how much the healing process of (scissor cuts/cutting off skin w scissors) HURTS 10x MORE than usual cutting?! I can’t take the bandages off cause it burns and stings when they’re gone
My arm is on fire and I keep wincing in pain:((
Think I’m gonna need to take a break from Twitter.
Some fucking idiot tried to dox me and said they would hurt me.
Idk what I’ve done to make anyone hate me sm, but Idc
Just need everything to calm down til I feel better, still kinda worked up
I’m getting kinda worried ngl
My recent cuts won’t stop leaking in fluids, not blood tho
I put a bandage on for two hours, now it’s completely wet and dripping
I try to dry heal, but they won’t scab and just keeps on producing liquid
No sign of infection, but it’s rly irritating
Getting threatened to show up my scars AND my new fascia cuts
If I don’t- I’ll need to be put into a mental health institute for the rest of the fall
I’m so scared to show my parents. They haven’t seen my arms since last year…
I’ll scare them sm, maybe getting admitted anyways:/
A dude just fucked me, told me I’m so pretty, that I was everything and how he wanted to see me again.
Now he ignores me,distancing, not even saying hi anymore.
I wanna cut so bad again
I shouldn’t catch feelings this easily
It was prob just a hookup
And I’m just another hoe
Wish I had recorded every time my parents hurt me, neglect me, m0lested me, yelled at me, hit me, threatened me, thrown me around and literally any time they’ve been abusive idiots,
I want a foster family. I want to be genuinely loved and cared of.
I keep harming myself w them..
Is it normal for me to buy my dad stuff after he hits and yells at me? Idk, I sometimes feel like a bad daughter and want to make it up for him.
I usually spend all of my money on it.
And he still keeps punishing me after. Idk why I do so, it’s still worthless afterwards..
Why do I keep coming up with excuses to why I haven’t killed myself yet?
Every time I try, I end up failing
And every time I think about doing it, I end up not even attempting bc something insignificant n stupid makes me believe In hope that I’ll be happy for a sec
I’m so idiotic
Would y’all consider styros/deeper styros a relapse? I usually only reset it when I’ve done fat layer, fascia or muscle.
Don’t know if I will count this session as a relapse tbh…
I’m such a pu$$y for not cutting deep lately ://
I Just want a Friend
Or a lover
Someone who cares and understands
That will hold me tight and keep me warm
Holding me safely in their arms
Cause I won’t run away that time,
I’ll rest peacefully like a corpse
Forever,
Bonded over blood and flesh
Love and lust
Tears and closure
I need to cut
I need to cut
I need to cut
I want to fucking die
Bleed to death
But my family is getting in my way
Fuck this shit
If I need to cut my wrists off in front of them, then I’ll do it
I’d do anything to cut deep to the bone rn
I’ve given up on life, I’m so tired
“I would do anything for you”
My ass
You wouldn’t do shit
You’ve abused me, hated me and neglected me my whole life
I think I’m too nice to even consider you a part of my own flesh and blood
You don’t give a fuck about me, I’m just a big mistake that you never got rid of in time