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❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎ Profile
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎

@halfway2home

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20 • bmi: fat • failed at recovery too many times yet still somehow for it • fresh outta ip 🏥• edtwt

psych ward
Joined March 2018
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
9 months
new intro! hey #edtwt my name is em! currently inpatient and dying inside • 20 • an-r & bpd • cw: idk fat - hw: 145 ish lbs - lw/gw: 94 lbs • 168cm / 5’6 • i will be married in 6 months, i love the outdoors, i am christian, & reality tv keeps me sane ♡ / ↻ for moots!
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
TW - MEDICAL / LAXATIVE TALK yesterdays medical emergency - a thread for #edtwt 🧵 thursday, dec 28 : for context, i hadn’t had a bowel movement in over two weeks. before coming to hospital, i was abusing laxatives to the point where they’d only work if i took 10+.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
this fast has been shockingly easy and ive had no binge urges at all. what’s going on
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
new intro! hey #edtwt my name is em! long time lurker who relapsed recently • 19 • an-r & bpd • cw: 109 lbs, hw: 145 ish lbs, lw/gw: 97 lbs • 168cm / 5’6 • i will be married in a year, i love the outdoors, i am christian, & reality tv keeps me sane ♡ / ↻ for moots!
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
the point of my thread - if you’re considering using laxatives, here’s your sign not to start. the weight you lose from them isn’t fat - it’s water and food weight and in the long run, the side effects are so much worse than you can imagine.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
@userchleo went from around 140 - 115 in about 3 months. wouldn’t recommend in general but it was lots of fasting and seriously low res
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
@petited0lly that sounds so incredibly messed up holy
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
so crazy how when u start heavily restricting, anything above ur intake feels impossible to go back to
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
do y’all think i look kinda disordered in this pic. idk, my chest bones are maybe just messing with me? hard to tell with this one cause i don’t rly want to show the whole pic on here obviously
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
8 months
home from 3 months of inpatient and im eating a burger (say it or I’ll cry) #edtwt
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
getting festive with a bowl of sugar free jello worth 16 cals
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
it was starting to really hurt, they’ve been giving me laxatives every day for the past four days and all I’ve passed were tiny rabbit poops. last night, i guess my stomach reached its breaking point and my bowel got severely impacted. i tried passing the stool but it got stuck -
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
hey #edtwt my name is em! long time lurker who recently has relapsed BUT IS TRYING RECOVERY AGAIN! • 19 • an-r & bpd • cw: 115lbs, sw/hw: 140 lbs, lw: 97 lbs • 167cm / 5’6 • i will be married in a year, i love the outdoors, and reality tv keeps me sane ♡ / ↻ for moots!
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
@laurspo not being able to poop w/o them unfortunately
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
@m4rx0r3xia_ i giggled
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
halfway. i was in excruciating pain, couldn’t stand, couldn’t walk, but also couldn’t sit. the nurse had to give me a suppository, like a baby. i was humiliated. it hurt and i started dripping blood into the toilet. all i could do was lay on my side, in bed, and cry.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
finally, at 6am, i passed the impacted stool and a flood of urine that had been causing pain to the point where i was going in and out of consciousness. they’re taking my pee for a urinalysis to see why my lower back is radiating pain.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
I GOT AN APARTMENT BESTIES
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
i began bleeding into my underwear and my urine was filling my bladder, because my bowel was obstructing my ability to pee. after a few hours, i stood over the toilet trying to pee, and got an excruciating pain in my lower right back. i thought i was dying.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
when did kicking ur kid out for being anorexic become socially acceptable
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
my account is dead… where are all my mooties 🥺
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
i am getting admitted
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
YEAH BABY - WE DID IT - WEIGHED IN AT 116.8 LBS / 52.9 KG TODAY - WITH THE LAX I THINK ILL MAKE IT TO MY GW BY TOMORROW 🤩🤩
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
not me being one of those girlies who RUNS to the bmi calculator after losing like .2 lbs 💀
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
i called the help button in my room and the nurses did an emergency check on my bladder and i was milliliters away from needing a catheter inserted. they rushed me to get an X-ray of my colon and phoned the emergency on call doctors. my bowels were so severely backed up.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
just found out apparently my “minimum healthy weight” according to my dietician is 150 LBS???? U HAVE TO BE JOKING
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
here’s my plate that i just finished. lol 450+ cals, my body was so hungry and i cannot allow myself to binge again but might be an omad since i feel so guilty.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
never back down never what 🫡
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
they gave me T3s, and a strong laxative drink that took over 12 hours to begin to work. all night i have been in excruciating pain with torn up insides. at 4am they took bloodwork, and will be taking me for more ultrasounds sometime today.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
honestly babes i might need to take some time off twt for a while, while i get my life together. i realistically can’t be chronically online, homeless, and an adult with responsibility all at once. will keep you bootiful moots in the loop about what i decide :)
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
say it with me now: A BOWL OF SOUP WONT MAKE YOU GAIN!
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
hey #edtwt my name is em! long time lurker who recently has relapsed… • 19 • an-r & bpd • cw: 127 lbs, sw/hw: 140 lbs, lw: 97 lbs, gw: 115 lbs • 166cm / 5’6 • i will be married in a year, i love the outdoors, and reality tv keeps me sane • pro recovery!
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
@ra2berryteas bro this is so triggering fr… ive had my nurses on the ward tell me this while i was literally dying 💀💀💀
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
gonna learn how to pop a wheelie in my wheelchair if they keep me in this thing for another week i swear
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
guys i know how dumb and ridiculous this is going to seem but someone pls reassure me that im not gonna gain weight from drinking this. my ed is so so strong rn im so dehydrated
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
proof ignore the feet
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
ok sooooo my goal was 100 by tomorrow but um guys. i hit 99.2 lbs
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
been on the ward for a total of 4 days and my fiancé tells me today that it looks like I’ve gained weight in my arms. i CANT do this shit im going to kay em ess. 4 DAYS????? I’VE GAINED THAT MUCH THAT ITS NOTICEABLE IN 4 DAYS????
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
so over anorexia i just want to eat bruh
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
WE DID IT Y’ALL - GW 1 HAS BEEN REACHED weighed in at 115.6 lbs / 52.4 kg this morning 💪 everyone clap - im less embarassed for my meeting with my treatment team now!
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
erm guys back at my lw
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
i hate the feeling u get after breaking ur fast. u know that feeling like u failed and are gonna gain 20 lbs
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
fasting : 😀 actually being hungry : 😐
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
im so tired you guys. i decided i want to recover, however im not sick enough to get help immediately. to be more specific, until i can get help for anorexia, i have to be admitted to day hospital for bpd before anything else. all the while maintaining my weight. im so tired
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
I GOT MY WEDDING DRESS
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
i pooped 🫡
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
resisting the urge to weigh in after breaking ur 3 day fast cause it will undoubtedly trigger the hell out of u
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
another patient just told me “it’s not right that you sit after every meal, you should be up and walking and digesting” and i dont think Ive ever been more triggered in my entire life
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
without downloading any new pics where are you mentally
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
i can say with confidence being in the hospital for an eating disorder is the hardest thing ive ever agreed to do
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
@anqelkilos thank u, i am better as of this morning ❤️‍🩹 it was terrifying
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
@cryingbloody not really lol i Just use them to make myself feel better
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
i experience absolute dread before my shifts but then i remember that i burn on average 500-600 cals a night and get like 13k steps and then i regain the will to live
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
honestly i am so over anorexia but the second i eat more than what i deem “acceptable” i want to kms
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
can we just appreciate these beautiful curly fries i made for my bf 🤩
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
guys im afraid my worst fear has always been true 🤡 i think i had the body dysmorphia thing where u see yourself SMALLER than u actually are when i first started relapsing. like sorry bestie u weren’t skinny at all back then… hate to break it to u…
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
as kind as it is, i cannot stand it when people make me food without asking first.
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
@greyhoundass little do they know they just boosted confidence 🤩
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
im literally in a wheelchair cause i can’t stand up without passing out - ok bestie
@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
another patient just told me “it’s not right that you sit after every meal, you should be up and walking and digesting” and i dont think Ive ever been more triggered in my entire life
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
no bc why does it feel like im eating like 50000 calories when im restricting at 800 and burning it all off anyway
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
guys - i just pooped - without lax? in my gut healing era (caffeine overload)
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
eating after fasting just feels so wrong like why can i feel the fat piling onto my bones
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
worst ed symptom: butt bones
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
im the fattest person in treatment, my worst fear is reality
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
i hit a new lw and im literally 9 lbs away from my UGW. guys this is crazyyy
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
sad, sad dinner but i burned enough cals to have it 🙃
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
i love my best friend. told her that im worried about dying in my sleep because of my heart issues rn and we prayed together and ate grilled cheese and tomato soup and it was simply a refreshing and much needed night
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
@p0mcals i must be bmi 5000 cause there ain’t no way ur bmi 20 bestie
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
i don’t recognize myself in the mirror ; my eyes are hollow and miserable • • • • a personal diary entry 🧵for my edtwt
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
im literally 4 lbs away from my lw. wow. i won’t get there but holy cow am i ever close. maybe i can be a little bit proud?
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
waking up and not having morning skinny cause u ate too much last night <<<<
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
binge: 😪 a ✨metab✨day: 🤪
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
10 months
i can’t stand not FEELING thin. like logically, we all know a diet coke didn’t cause any weight gain. but the bloating. but the feeling of it just sitting in your stomach. ugh
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
@solarmnji @B0YB0N3S that moment when it takes time to lose weight 💀💀💀
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
i have to taste test cakes for my wedding cake today 😭
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
11 months
🕯️bmi 15 before ip 🕯️bmi 15 before ip 🕯️bmi 15 before ip 🕯️bmi 15 before ip 🕯️bmi 15 before ip 🕯️ bmi 15 before ip 🕯️ bmi 15 before ip 🕯️ bmi 15 before ip
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
did i just…get a job???
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@halfway2home
❤︎₊⊹ em (relapse era) | edtwt⊹₊❤︎
1 year
@cammiescounting ur polls are so good 😩 makes me so hungry but they’re so fun 🤩
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