official game glenna @glenna_opt Twitter profile

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

Normalize a 4 day work year

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 months

3pm? sorry that’s my time to be the most tired I’ve ever been in my life everyday

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

7 months

DC’s hottest new club is the senate hearing room

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 years

yo if i was a ghost theres no way id hang out at graveyard or creepy old house id be hauntin the cluuubbb

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

Guys I’m worried that if I’m ever in a fire I’ll get freaked out and ‘pop lock & drop’ instead of ‘stop drop & roll’

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

next time you are at a gallery yell out "HEY WHO ARTED" then everyone will laugh so much probably

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

i will be SO annoyed if Ice T & Coco have a baby and it is not named after a seasonal beverage

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

work wants to know what “my goals” are, my goal is to stumble upon buried treasure and never have to work again

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

she died doing what she loved: looking at her phone while crossing the street

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

brb getting upset over something i made up in my head again

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

no YOU'RE taking a pregnancy test in an ihop bathroom

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

LOOK HOW PATIENTLY IM WAITING FOR HIM TO RESPOND ITS LIKE I DON’T EVEN CARE

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

If I had a racehorse I'd name it "Gambling is a Serious Illness"

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

honeysuckles have the best scent and the freak-nastiest name out of all flowers imo

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

when ppl mop grease off their pizza with a napkin i like to pick it up & ring it out onto my slice idk its just a power thing i guess

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

Excuse me, lady working at this ice cream place, but its rude to be moving so slow when there are ppl in line who clearly have broken hearts

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

Ok EXCUSE ME have we talked about how this look is giving home movies:

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 months

You couldn’t name anyone Dick Butkus today thanks to “woke culture”. Sad.

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

i did a DNA kit thing and it said i was 3% ibuprofen

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

i saw the best minds of my generation make dat booty clap

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

first date idea: we never meet

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

3 months

REI should change their name to Forever 36

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

What if I just came into work, took like 9 donuts, put them in my bag, then just left.

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

lookin for a Combination Pizza Hut/ KFC/ Taco Bell/ Boyfriend

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

vacation idea: coma

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

single & ready to die

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 years

pretty dumb that i have to work really hard all the time even tho im a hot babe

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

charlotte's web presence

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

8 years

pretty much i have a new best friend named will

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

star this tweet if you like me so i can show my mom and other hators

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 years

retweet if youve ruined your life

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

if i had my own cooking show it would just be 30 minutes of me eatin chocolate chips

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

he let me hit it because he put a single pea under my mattress then I kept asking for more mattresses but that damn pea still bruised up my fragile body and he was like omg princess vibes that’s so hot

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

I’m sorry but men should not run countries they should just stick to their little projects

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 years

a literal bounty hunter knocked on my door & asked me if id seen this fugitive he had a pic of lol i was like i cant even find my debit card

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

yo but on some real levels tho if you feel like you hate your body remember to be like “f that shit im stardust & im golden as hell”

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

10 years

damn right i treat my body like a temple a t e m p l e o f d o o m

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

sneeze so hard mother f*ckers wanna bless me

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

when i said i wasnt doing anything i didnt mean i wanted that to change thanks

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

throw soup at me like one of your van gogh’s

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

my "type" • unattainable • uninterested • unstable • unavailable • unaware of who i am

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

8 years

calm down, lunch

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

#sluttyconfessions i wanna die lol

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

WOKE UP IN A CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED HONDA

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

8 months

cinesthetic.

@TheCinesthetic

8 months

If were in charge of choosing the next pair of detectives for TRUE DETECTIVE S4: who would you like to see?

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

my signature move is to wander off

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

5 months

If I was in true detective I’d simply be nice to my true detective partner and try to solve the case as a team

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

wish the kardashians would try keeping up with me for once

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

The retirement age should be 35, not taking any questions.

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

i apologize for all of the death threats i made before i had my snack

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

10 months

This would fix me

Brandon Scott Wolf

@BrandonEsWolf

10 months

This is what it looks like when a bottle of Advil sits in the sun for too long.

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

LOVE when ppl say "is it hot in here or is it just me?" bc i get to say "well actually *hair flip* it's just me" & everyone is so impressed

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

lol if the royal baby is a muggle

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

8 years

if people dont want me to call them "precious gumdrops from heaven" they should frikin stop actin like precious gumdrops from heaven, duh

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

coworkers were judging me for takin a huge slice of cake so i said "find me a boyfriend & i wont need cake" now we are all eating in silence

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

RT if you did not log on to this internet website to hurt anyone and you are just here to microblog your feelings and have a nice time

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

putting all my faith in the king of the hill reboot to reunite this country

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

i just fell on my butt in front of everyone so i said "WATCH OUT FOR THAT SIDEWALK!" & no one laughed & i wish the fall had killed me

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

um no offense but i love you

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

. @Febreze if anyone at work tomorrow can tell that i forgot to do my laundry you are dead to me

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

i tried to call in sick but when my boss asked what was wrong i said “i got m…murdered” wtf i suck at lying

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 years

dangit i signed my moms birthday card with my first and last name :(

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

who keeps shooting down all my flying objects

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

haha i just realized i am not the only person outside this shopping center that is crying alone in their parked car lol this is a fun town

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

#TerrifyingIfLiteral baby powder

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

7 years

i hope we all get a new president for president's day !!

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

12 years

Sometimes I get sad then no diggity starts playing and im like wtf is sadness i don't even remember

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

sure i treat my body like a temple- a t e m p l e o f d o o m

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

just had a very stressful conversation but it turned out my friend had been confusing nelson mandela with howie mandel the whole time

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

does ur mood hang low does it wobble to&fro is ur tummy in a knot & ur love nobody knows is ur spirit gettin colder as ur bodys gettin older

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

swear to god these were sober wheat thins when i left what the heck http://t.co/NuNgXNnNBG

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

6 months

If this tweet gets 100 likes I will delete candy crush off my phone in the new year

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

you guys i am drunk so it took me like five minutes to write this tweet so please star it thank you

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

7 years

what a nightmare:

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

swear to god this is not what it looks like

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

just remembered that i knew a girl in high school who had a Goth Dad and i had to literally pull over bc i was laughing too hard to drive

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

you deplete me

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

my favorite thing to say to someone with a new baby is “aww did you make that?!” it is weird for them but it is funny to me every time

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

in 5th grade a boy farted & another boy yelled “THATS WHAT SHE SAID” & i was sent to the office bc i couldnt stop laughing & i still havent

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

it might just be a coincidence but my life has gotten a lot worse since detective stabler left law & order svu

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 months

Just scolded my coworkers for calling it “X” instead of twitter. Doing my part.

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

sometimes i unbutton my pants when drive then dont remember to button them before i get out of the car thank you for following me on twitter

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

So You Think You Can Get Through The Day

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

my goal was to be a billionaire by 26 so i have one week to find one billion thirteen thousand eight hundred fifty two dollars wow stressful

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

i hate how easy it is to turn into a blob and how difficult it is to undo that, this simulation blows

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

im like the fiercest person in this build-a-bear store right now

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 months

They should invent housing that people who aren’t companies can buy

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

diet tip: dont weigh yourself and assume its fine

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

1 year

I don’t really think anyone should be Speaker of The House I think The House should be quiet

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

10 years

because you recently watched almost all 12 seasons of ‘murder she wrote’ netflix recommends that you get your f*cking life together good god

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

10 years

i may be single but at least im gettin f*cked financially!

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

“brb, jk” -my suicide note

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

10 years

YOU GUYS a lady on wheel of fortune just said “i will take a D” LMAOOOOO *sigh* anyway thanks for reading my tweets k bye

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

bumper sticker idea: “im just tryna get my fat ass home”

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

*lives up to potential* jk

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

2 years

@LakotaMan1 No we all need to be doing that.

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

11 years

i stay warm when it gets cold by just gettin real mad about stuff

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

9 years

PRO TIP: stay warm during the winter just by gettin real mad about stuff

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official game glenna

@glenna_opt

3 months

They should invent emotions that feel good

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