g a b f r a b @gabfrab Twitter profile

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

lobotomized my balls

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

1 year

@IHuffGasoline The male version of these are even more explicitly written like sad dating ads. My sis and I used to write to one inmate who signed his letters as "Raccoon." We looked him up and he'd raped a woman at knifepoint. He called that knife "raccoon." Stopped writing him after that.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

5 months

desperate for a dust bowl babe

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@gabfrab

4 years

Burgers Remember 9/11

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@gabfrab

4 years

Found pics from 2013 of the mouse infested house I lived in with like twelve strangers. I was very sad and poor so spent all my time drinking Four Loko, eating Taco Bell, having Skype sex with an ex, and reading books. I also wore a Cheerios face plate for some reason 😶😶😶

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@gabfrab

2 years

@davidcinema Speed (1994)

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@gabfrab

2 years

Prime Day deals? More like Prime Day steals! I can't believe these prices!!!

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@gabfrab

2 years

Flipped through an old CD binder and felt embarrassed for my younger self:

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@gabfrab

2 years

I'd like to send a big FUCK YOU to the Regal showing Avatar in downtown Portland. An usher saw this fall out of my bag and said it's not allowed. I waited 45 minutes for a manager to show me where that's stated in the rules and received ZERO EXPLANATION.

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@gabfrab

4 years

As a kid I was forced to live in a bucket of corn.

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@gabfrab

1 year

I masturbated naked in front of a full-length mirror at the peak of my acid trip. I came with eyes open, face inches from glass. Enamored.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

Years ago I lived in a car. One night I ate piles of pizza from a dumpster. It made me so sick I laid in my trunk unable to move for forty hours. Soon my body burned with fever. Felt as if Satan had forced his fiery cock inside me. A 🧵 on the dangers of dumpster pizza 🗑️👇🗑️

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@gabfrab

10 months

Burgers Remember 9/11

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@gabfrab

2 years

god gives his littlest dicks to his horniest soldiers

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@gabfrab

5 years

Because my own love life is a depressing mess I've once more turned to pretending to be a fart eating Christian on tinder. Here's my profile/the very first message for JoAnne. More to follow.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

My bedside table

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@gabfrab

2 years

Came across this pizza on tinder. Uh, what...

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@gabfrab

4 months

Reading an article about oak trees and this ad popped up halfway through.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

1 year

My sister sent me some of her Hinge likes.

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@gabfrab

7 years

A brief history of my Halloween costumes.

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@gabfrab

1 year

Dentist gave me top marks. Now it's time to get hammered off a few glugs of the good stuff.

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@gabfrab

2 years

Christmas 2009

g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

15 years

I'm trying to open presents with my mom and sister but we can hear the girl in the apartment below getting fucked really hard.

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@gabfrab

2 years

Just when I thought I'd seen it all on tinder.

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@gabfrab

7 years

I wrote about trying to get laid while homeless:

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@gabfrab

4 years

we are the sons of the paypigs you couldn't drain

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@gabfrab

1 year

Prime Day deals? More like Prime Day steals! I can't believe these prices!!!!

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@gabfrab

2 years

Buying McDonald's merch on the dark web.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

1 year

The sound my dick makes during sex:

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

CUT MY CUM INTO PIECES THIS IS MY LAST LIVE SQUIRT

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

8 months

I dug through a DirecTV forum from 2005-2016 where dudes discussed ordering porn off the family TV. Here's a thread of my finds: 🧵👇🧵 Forum user RandyAnal is not a happy customer. DirecTV should be ashamed of themselves.

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@gabfrab

4 years

!🙏!🙏!🙏!

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@gabfrab

5 years

I'm legally required to hang this sign above my asshole.

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@gabfrab

2 years

Gotta love when your stepson forgets to switch profiles on Pornhub and now the algorithm is all messed up. My front page is nothing but stepdad vids. I have zero interest in this shit but don't know how to erase it 🤬

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@gabfrab

3 years

It was in this moment, painting my fingers on acid, that I knew I knew how Michaelangelo felt as he finished the Sistine Chapel.

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@gabfrab

3 years

Burgers Remember 9/11

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

1 year

ATTENTION SINGLE LADIES: Feeling shitty on Valentine's? Well don't! For tonight only I'll be licking pussy in the Arby's parking lot. Look for the U-Haul with its flashers on.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

5 years

Yesterday I completed my 10 day, 144 mile backpacking trip through the badlands. · I encountered bison, wild horses, coyote calls, a rattlesnake, four billion deer, and a barrel of fat toads. So many toads! · More pics to follow once I'm back to civilization 👍👍

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@gabfrab

3 months

You know, I had a friend that used to be the dad on Freaks and Geeks. You know what he's doing now? He's dead!

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

5 years

Why won't the folks over at Big Mayonnaise get back to me?

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@gabfrab

2 years

Gotta love when your roomie's had the Fleshlight all day even though you reserved it from noon to six on the sign-up sheet on the fridge.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

6 years

If you come to my barn I'll keep your bong packed and your pussy licked.

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@gabfrab

2 years

*licking her pisshole* babe your clit tastes incredible

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@gabfrab

1 year

Made my world-famous ribs for the Super Bowl party.

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@gabfrab

4 years

Found the only selfie I took on a backpacking trip in Oregon last summer. Looking good, gab!! 😳😖😌

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

3 years

ATTENTION SINGLE LADIES: Feeling shitty on Valentine's? Well don't! For tonight only I'll be licking pussy in the Arby's parking lot. Look for the U-Haul with its flashers on.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

I'm in Reno, Nevada preparing to have unprotected sex with a bevy of gentlemen I met on the Wheel of Fortune message boards.

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@gabfrab

2 years

No Poop November Day 8: My stomach really, really hurts.

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@gabfrab

3 years

Pandemic* hair going hard *ignore my giant jar of pandemic-ready Metamucil

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@gabfrab

3 months

yeah idk all shrooms ever taught me is that I love jacking off

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@gabfrab

2 years

this restaurant spray-painted its menu on the sidewalk

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@gabfrab

3 years

I chose trick.

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@gabfrab

2 years

I googled my name and a different me is in prison for selling meth to undercover cops. What's the other you up to?

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@gabfrab

2 years

I camped up at Mount Rainier a few times this past summer. Thought I lost all the pics from one of my trips but I got them back. It's a spectacular place I hope to explore for years to come. The PNW is bountiful with beauty. Here's a thread of shots from there:

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@gabfrab

11 months

Spotted in a strip club parking lot.

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@gabfrab

4 years

For years I trolled Craigslist with a series of fake sex ads in order to elicit insane responses. Here's a thread of replies from when I played a woman who lost a leg then asked men to worship her stump.

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@gabfrab

2 years

Pregaming for the Kidz Bop concert.

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@gabfrab

2 years

Burgers Remember 9/11

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@gabfrab

2 years

Went to a different theater with this in hand and was treated much, much better. They wouldn't even take my money when I pulled a twenty from the hole. Those guys just earned a customer for life. The moral of the story is that CUSTOMER SERVICE MATTERS.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

I'm the guy who euthanized Air Bud after he defeated my son's water polo team. I went to shake his paw then stuck the needle in. Call me a sore loser. Whatever. I don't care. That menace will never spoil another sport again.

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@gabfrab

2 years

I know we all miss Yahoo Answers but Quora has really picked up the torch. "Are there any health detriments to sucking off a horse's penis?"

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@gabfrab

8 months

eating her pussy with the parasitic louse that overtook my tongue

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@gabfrab

2 years

Tampon technology continues to amaze me.

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@gabfrab

1 year

My money's makin' money.

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@gabfrab

2 years

stripped down to my hide at the naked bike ride

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@gabfrab

2 years

Gonna get drunk tonight.

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@gabfrab

1 year

The Cumtown ep is BAD. In addition to the anti-Scot sentiment they callously used diarrhea as a punchline. I'd love to see these so-called humorists say that crap to the millions of parents whose kid licked the carpet at Red Lobster then exploded.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

8 months

No Poop November Day 8: My stomach really, really hurts.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

9 months

About to be a shootout in the Walmart parking lot.

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@gabfrab

5 years

My squirt stinks of dog food.

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@gabfrab

1 year

I have synesthesia. Different songs make me cum different colors. So like Smash Mouth is an orange cum but Aerosmith is a black cum.

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@gabfrab

4 years

69 likes and I'll cum on my ballot

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@gabfrab

2 years

My ejaculate is not sperm but rather bits of my guardian angel leaking out of me.

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@gabfrab

8 months

My aborted son Ronald is alive and well but refuses to leave his cube.

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@gabfrab

4 years

Just because my turtle has passed away it does not mean that our sexual relationship has come to an end.

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@gabfrab

1 year

My fav drug I've ever done is molly. My least fav is tabs of Target brand laxatives. Gonna combine the two and see what happens.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

2 years

After a run of 86 hour weeks my farming season has almost come to a close. To celebrate I've kayaked to this beach, one that only appears every few years when the water dips low. I'm camped here 'til tomorrow. Will fish and have a fire. I also just dropped acid 🤠

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@gabfrab

5 years

me during sex

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@gabfrab

4 years

This is when I started my fake OK Cupid of an illiterate pregnant teen with seven fingers. She only dated married men. I lived near a McDonald's so sent the guys there. I'd get a coffee then wait for them to show up, looking all over for the girl who promised to eat their feces.

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

4 years

manic pixie meth pig

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

4 months

Today marks the moment I completed my conversion from a rotten shot of cum into a hideous baby boy. That means it's my 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘.

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@gabfrab

2 years

Tomb of the Unblown Soldier

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@gabfrab

2 years

Daddy, wouldst thou like some sausage? Wouldst thou like some sausages? Sausages. Sausages.

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@gabfrab

4 years

Walked in on some dude washing his bare foot in a urinal.

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@gabfrab

6 months

I am: ✔ Recently divorced ✔ An alcoholic ✔ 130 pounds overweight ✔ Serving a six-month sentence for using the public library's printer to distribute photographs of my brother and I performing oral sex on a 148 year old desert tortoise

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g a b f r a b

@gabfrab

5 years

I wrote about a man offering me fifty bucks to suck my cock. "He asked to eat my ass and I consented. Told me I’d love it. As he lapped his tongue all I could picture was a St. Bernard slathered in drool, gorging its food with flapping jowls."

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@gabfrab

2 years

Today's his 13th birthday 😭

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@gabfrab

2 years

wind and snow on the way to waterfalls

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@gabfrab

1 year

Cracking open a cold beverage.

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@gabfrab

10 months

had a visitor this morning

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@gabfrab

4 years

Back in the 70s my Oregon relative crashed a truck into the back of a pharmacy, stole a bunch of pills, then her and her boyfriend hid out in the mountains getting high for weeks.

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@gabfrab

3 years

God got hard.