franklin veaux @franklinveaux Twitter profile | Pikagi

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franklin veaux

@franklinveaux

6,082

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1,360

Following

2,885

Media

21,920

Statuses

Part mad scientist, part gonzo journalist. Author, sex toy designer, abuse survivor. Co-author of the Passionate Pantheon novels:

Portland, Oregon, USA

https://t.co/IXGsvT76aF

Joined December 2008

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 months

I keep getting asked which of my books people should start with. So: If you like Discworld-style satire but in steampunk Victorian London: Black Iron. If you like hard SF cyberpunk: immechanica. If you like sex: The Brazen Altar. If you like sex and humor: London Under Veil.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

3 years

Noted without comment: Trolley problem.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

10 years

The comments on any article about feminism are why we need feminism. The comments on any article about science are why we need science.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

@bonerman_inc @MaraWilson I have an English girlfriend. We had a conversation where we talked about the way British accents sound sexy and sophisticated to American ears. I asked her what American accents sound like to Brits. Her answer? “All cowboy, all the time.”

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Me: “Hello?” Caller: “I’m calling with immigration and border patrol.” Me: “If this is one of those scams where you try to con me from money, no. Ordinarily I’d jerk you around for hours, but I’m in the middle of something.” Caller: “I don’t need your sarcasm.” *click*

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

@ms_creilly Nearly every organized “pro-life” group in the US opposes contraception. Many repeat the lie that birth control pills “cause abortion,” and almost all favor laws banning contraception, including condoms, or laws limiting their availability.

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Does the pro-life movement consider contraception an acceptable way to reduce abortions? Would it...

Franklin Veaux's answer: Let's take a look at the largest pro-life groups and organizations in the US and see what they have to say. The largest pro-life group in the US is the Roman Catholic Church,...

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

3 years

I was today years old when I found out Ancient Rome forbade using coins bearing the likeness of the Emperor to pay sex workers, so brothels minted their own currency. And you can buy reproductions on Amazon, because of course you can.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

So, um, I got an email from the Library of Congress asking permission to archive the content of my Web site More Than Two as it has historical value in documenting the development of sexual minority communities. 0.o

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

7 years

In today’s news, @okcupid announces creepy new real name policy, seeking to best @Patreon in Worst Business Decision of 2017. In unrelated news, market now opens for a new dating web site.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

9 years

According to the Google Translate camera app, German washing machines have an "overlords" setting. #BookTour

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

9 months

I have an old friend who says there are 4 kinds of music: that which sounds easy to play and is, that which sounds hard to play and is, that which sounds easy but is hard, and that which sounds hard but is easy. A similar idea might apply to sex as well.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

5 years

This right here is peak Quora, it is.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

I've spoken to my dad. My mom's oncologist says the cancer hasn't spread. Her particular type of cancer when caught at an early stage has a 90+% survival rate. She'll have to have chemo and surgery, but the prognosis is good.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Noted without comment: Isn’t the thing.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

Good God, a ton of new followers today. Welcome! Things I tweet about include 3D printing, infosec, weird-ass tentacle sex toys, writing, occasional science stuff, and my cat. Just so you know what you’re getting yourselves in to.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

8 years

"We need monogamy because that's what separates us from animals in sex." No, consent is what separates us from animals. #TheMoreYouKnow

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Things that bug me #147 : When I look for instructions on how to do something on Google, and all the results are YouTube videos. Sure, I'd love to sit through a 20-minute YouTube video when a paragraph of text would answer my question! 😡

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

My mom is home from the hospital and much stronger!!!

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

I talked to my dad today. After another bad reaction, my mom has decided to discontinue chemo and go into hospice care. I’m shattered.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

This part of Florida is Trump/DeSantis/antivax central. Getting set to bring my dad’s car in for service, and yes, I’m wearing this shirt. #StandUpForScience

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Noted without comment: Valentine's.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

In 1997, I bought a CRT monitor for a new Mac. In 2014, some folks filed a class-action lawsuit against CRT manufacturers alleging illegal price-fixing. Today I got a class action settlement check for $25, some of which I blew on two Taco Bell tacos, because I am out of control.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

9 years

Dear fellow feminist men: Please read #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe and learn from it. We need to do better.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Woohoo! My MRI results are back, no sign of cancer! Still need to do some more work to see if they can figure out why the hell my PSA is so high, but no cancer!

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Me: *answers phone* Caller: “Hello, I am calling you from United States customs and border agency.” Me: “No, you’re calling me from India to scam me out of money. Does your mom know what you do for a living? Is she proud of you?” Caller: *hangs up*

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Someone online told me I am incompatible with Biblical morality, and now I kinda want to get that on a T-shirt.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

10 months

Today would have been my mom’s birthday.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Today I learned that before he died, Terry Pratchett and a friend hand-forged a sword from iron ores he dug up himself and a handful of meteoric iron, then finished it with silverwork, and here I thought I could not be any more impressed by him.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

So @quora is being overrun with answers copy-pasted from ChatGPT, meaning I likely won’t renew my paid membership (why should I pay to read ChatGPT content?), but today I saw one Quora user plagiarizing another Quora user’s ChatGPT-generated answers and it was ChatGPT Inception.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

So @WestJet canceled my flight to London due to COVID-19, but is also refusing to refund the ticket because “you bought a non-refundable ticket.” Note the ticket was canceled by them, not me. Congrats, guys, you’ve just lost a customer for life. Oh, by the way, I travel a lot.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

My mom was rushed to the ER by ambulance yesterday afternoon. As of this afternoon, she still doesn’t have a room, and she’s parked on a stretcher in the hallway. Thanks to DeSantis’ disastrous policies, the hospital is 75 patients over capacity. #AmericanHealthCare

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

In the hospital visiting my mom before I fly back to Portland tomorrow. We’re lamenting about how poorly-designed the human body is, and my mom busts out with “And we should have tails, too!”

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

@FAIRImmigration I have no idea what Measure 105 is, but the cynical, fearful, emotionally manipulative way you’re advertising it tells me it’s something abhorrent and repulsive. *looks it up* Ugh. Yep, that’s what I thought. I’ll be voting no.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Oookay, so. Let me tell you about Doug. Buckle up, this is a weird story. Doug just walked into my parent’s house, drunk off his ass and completely unaware of where of where he was. Who is Doug? Glad you asked. I have no idea.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

So what do you all think? Is it legit to refer to the folks beta-testing my sex toys as “my team of penetration testers”?

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

A pair of burrowing owls made a nest in my parents’ yard, and had three babies. They all come out just before sunset and just after sunrise. They’re remarkably unfussed about me photographing them!

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

3 years

My cat Kyla died today. I am devastated. 💔

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Look, this veneration of the Founding Fathers as demigods is weird. The system they came up with was so badly flawed from the start, it took 27 amendments and a civil war just to iron out the worst defects, and it’s still a deeply flawed system. There. I said it.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Noted without comment: Frustratingly.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Just got off the phone with my dad. My mom was admitted to the hospital with fluid buildup that prevented her from walking. The doctors say she has cancer. They believe it hasn’t spread, but we won’t know for sure until next month. Meanwhile she’s back home and resting.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

10 months

My mom is gone.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

My mom’s cat hopped up on the futon with me and made this face, and I was all “I know what you mean, little kitty, I know what you mean.”

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

“I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.” —Stephen Jay Gould

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

She absolutely thinks she’s going with me.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Oh my GOD, y’all, the xenomorph hiphugger strapon just caused SUCH a kerfluffle at TSA. As soon as I saw the X-ray of my bag, and the X-ray tech waved her boss over, I was like okay, here it comes. (By the way, the hiphugger looks EPIC on an x-ray. I’m sad they… 1/5

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

10 months

Culture Medium Systems Vehicle: ( @cultureshipname )

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

My cat’s favorite place to be if I’m not in front of my computer is on my computer. She is also losing her winter coat. This...creates certain fur-related difficulties.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

My mom had her first round of chemo yesterday. Apparently it went well, but she’s looking at six months of treatment in all.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Noted without comment: Kinks.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Yes, and they’re striking in support of people who are not, you corncob. Jesus. It’s like there are people literally incapable of understanding why you’d do something for someone else.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

3 years

Random thought for folks who say talking about limits and boundaries "spoils the mood:" If you're doing it properly, it can be hard to tell the difference between "negotiating sexual limits" and "really hot sexting." Just sayin'.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

My mom was just rushed into emergency surgery. Surgeon was unable to repair the damaged artery and she is not expected to survive. I’ve just booked a flight to Florida. My dad is wrecked. I am wrecked.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Heading to the hospital to see my mom. We passed a spot of road and my dad was like “You remember when you got a speeding ticket here for going 47 in a 45 back in 1989? Man, that was SUCH bullshit.” Yes it was, Dad. Yes it was.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

My mom’s cat has been sitting at my feet meowing continuously for twenty minutes. I finally figured out what she wants.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Leaving for Springfield tomorrow, and thence to Barcelona! TSA should be interesting, as I’ll be carrying six xenomorph hiphugger strapon prototypes (one from the v5.0 mold, three from the v7.0 mold, and two from the v8.0 mold).

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Holy shit, y’all. Is…is this a thing racists believe?

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Your porn name is: your PayPal password plus the answers to your last three security questions. Go.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

And just a quick reminder: If you like an author’s work, the very best thing you can do is leave an Amazon review. Seriously. I can’t stress this enough. Love the book? Want more? Say so on Amazon!

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

There are times I must admit I do question what value I see in Quora.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

I just spoke to my dad. My mom is awake and lucid. My dad said his goodbyes. She may hang on until I get to Florida, it’s completely up in the air. My heart is shattered.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

I’m out shopping, and…this sign does not say what I first thought it said.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

When I was a kid, my parents got me a mircoscope for Christmas. It came with a set of prepared microscope slides: pollen, human hair, a blood sample of someone with sickle cell anemia. Ans it just now occurred to me, that means there was someone whose job it was to... 1/4

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

8 months

My mom no longer exists. She is not part of the world any more. I had a dream last night that my wife and I helped a friend move, so my mom let us store some of his stuff in my parents’ garage—something she’d totally do. Woke with a knife in my heart. 😢💔

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

4 years

Oh, my God, y’all, my mom is doing SO much better! She seems to have turned a corner today. She’s up, she’s active, she’s sitting on the couch reading right now. I can’t even begin to express how happy (and relieved!) we all are. <3

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Good God, y’all. Yesterday afternoon I hit *one billion* content views on @Quora . 😮 That seems an absurd, impossible number.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

So are you still a “beta male” for letting your girlfriend have another boyfriend if your girlfriend’s other boyfriend makes lunch for you? Asking for a friend.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Got complimented on my “I’m not always right” pin yesterday. She said “I was expecting small print that says ‘but I usually am’ or something,” and I was like, “nope, that’s it, that’s the whole statement.”

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Noted without comment: Possibility.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

@landpsychology Fang, the Nightmare in the Dark, Destroyer of Dreams.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Today I learned: This weird little extension of Oklahoma is the territory Texas gave up in order to keep slavery when it became a state.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Someone on Quora just described the Fox "News" phenomenon as "angertainment" and I cannot get enough of that word. Angertainment. What a perfect description for the concept.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

My mom’s cats miss her. Louise is glued to my side; Thelma keeps pacing the house crying.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

I have no idea how my mom’s cat got up there. This bookshelf is nine feet tall.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

I almost never pay attention to social media stats, so imagine my surprise when I answered a question about content views on Quora and discovered I’ve had over 980,000,000 views. Almost a BILLION views. That absolutely blows my mind.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

If video games have taught me anything, this is a fast-travel point where a small group of hard-scrabble people have set up a tiny settlement, and the sole merchant here probably sells an epic item.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

It is an almost incomprehensibly gorgeous evening in Barcelona, and the Sagrada Família was even more beautiful than I ever imagined. Now we’re off in research of dessert. Oh, what a day. What a lovely day.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Watching Andor, and… I saw the original Star Wars on opening night in 1977 and as a young child, I thought it was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen. Now, as an adult, Andor is doing the same. Star Wars was for wide-eyed kids. Andor is for the grownups those kids became.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

So Hollywood, which keeps telling me that digital movies I buy are licensed, not owned, wants to buy digital performance rights of actors forever. Am I getting this right? Like, Hollywood is now arguing they should own digital products forever? Do anything they want with them?

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

My dad dug this out of the garage. Software for the TRS-80 used to come in three-ring binders like this, which contained a sleeve for a 5.25” floppy (or a cassette tape!) and the manual.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

TSA is gonna flip if they open my suitcase for inspection.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

9 months

That’s clearly a hippopotamus. A potato hippopotamus. Hippotatopotamus.

@gavinthomas2015

Gavin Thomas

@gavinthomas2015

9 months

Apparently, if you can see a boxing glove, you're left-brained, and if you can see a dinosaur, you're right-brained. What do you see in the potato?

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

I’ll take “things that didn’t age well” for $1,000, please…

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I did some research online and discovered that platelet supplies for cancer patients are critically low, so I signed up to be a platelet donor. Today was my first appointment. Welllllll… 1/3

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

While we wait to hear from the hospital, my mom’s cat has decided I need grooming, and is being quite insistent about it.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Just requested a copy of my content from @Quora . The text alone, zipped, is a hair over 520MB in size(!).

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Spotted in downtown Portland. This…maybe isn’t as compelling as believers might think.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Apparently the Dutch language has a word for this! I’ve long said that love is what you feel when someone else’s happiness is integral to your own.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

I would watch the hell out of this movie, just for the record.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

On a walk in my parents’ neighborhood, I’m being yelled at by a couple of VERY pissed-off burrowing owls who are NOT backing down one bit. They’re like “we don’t care if you’re 150 times bigger than us, we will *cut* you.”

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Noted without comment: Serious.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

USB cable: $6.99. Complete set of light-up dice with internal batteries, accelerometers, and LEDs, with charging case and USB cable: $3.03 (with free shipping). Late-stage capitalism is SO weird.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

I desperately need a mad scientist’s lair that looks like this. Do you have ANY idea what I could do with this machinery?

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Something I hate: I Google how to do a thing. All the hits are like “How to do a thing: If you want to do a thing but can’t, it can be really frustrating. But you can learn to do the thing! In this page I will teach you to do the thing. Just follow this guide to doing the thing.”

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

Oh my god, y’all, TSA Precheck just saved my ass AGAIN. I would not have made it through security in time without it. On my way to Florida to help care for my mom. And by the way, fuck cancer.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

My mom’s cats have just learned to open closet drawers, and @Joreth got it on video. That’s it, it’s curtains for the free world.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

My errand today: run to the Post Office to mail my personal pornography to Congress. (Yes, I’m serious. Yes, there’s context and yes, there’s a reason, but that’s the short version.)

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

6 years

Last year, 14 people died in the US in acts of terror. Last year, 45,000 people in the US died from lack of health insurance, and over a million went bankrupt because of medical bills. Please do tell me why we should spend trillions to “fight terrorism,” but health care is nbd.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

2 years

Noted without comment: Speakers.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

7 years

Holy cow. I got a letter from the IRS saying I miscalculated my taxes and the government owes me a substantial refund I wasn't expecting.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

1 year

My mom uses a walker for mobility. One of her cats loves riding around on it.

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@franklinveaux

franklin veaux

8 years

Conservatives, 1980: "How can Russians believe Pravda?" Conservatives, 2016: "Hillary is running a child sex ring from a pizzeria!"

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