All the people saying "I would never get scammed!!" should know it can happen to anyone... My gf in Slovenia has a PhD and she got scammed out of $20,000 right after I sent her $20,000 for a plane ticket to America so we could finally meet in person
Public sentiment is really starting to shift on the Israel-Palestine issue. Which would be huge if we lived in a country where public sentiment was able to affect government policy
It's funny that Christianity is like the crucifixion was the worst, most painful thing that has ever happened to anyone, no one has ever suffered as much pain and torment as Jesus. Also, there were 2 other random non-God guys there also getting crucified at the same time
The Joker: But I have a little game of my own, Batman... See how long you can play this sexy hentai video game without cumming!
Batman: No... No!
Robin: Good lord, with cartoon fuck gameplay that sexy, Batman won't last 5 minutes
Batman: No!
I don’t mean this in a rude way but every motorcycle should come with a built-in decibel meter where if the engine goes over a certain volume the bike explodes, killing the rider
Real men don’t need “game” to seduce women or a “mindset” for business success. A real man simply staggers through life, impassive and confused, until a situation arises where a woman wants to have sex with him or he has to commit a murder
If you were a gifted child and have depression later, your depression is 1.5-2x more "real" than the depression of a non-gifted person. The giftedness of your brain allows all of your thoughts and emotions to be felt much more deeply than those of a normal person
Went to a screening of Love Lies Bleeding and the Jacking section was completely sold out. So I'm sitting there in the Non-Jacking section, not jacking it, like a complete idiot. Meanwhile I look over at the Jacking section and several of the guys aren't even jacking it
The Italian heathcare system, which consists solely of doctors prescribing patients to see different types of clowns, has been strained almost to its breaking point
Some people look down on so-called “single use” plastics, but I actually found a second use for them. I break them down into microscopic sized particles and then put the particles into my organs and tissues
One of the funniest things in the Wire is the idea that taking a community college intro to macroeconomics class would allow drug dealers to take drug dealing to a powerful new scientific level
There's no "decade" that's about to end... Decades were an artifact of the 20th century, there are no decades anymore, it's just the 2000s until we're all dead
Short men develop more powerful imaginations due to having to imagine what the bands playing look like at concerts. Whereas tall men's minds atrophy from being able to just lazily look at what's happening on the stage
By only featuring a single detective, True Detective season 3 eliminates the central dilemma of the previous seasons - figuring out which of the two detectives is the True Detective
With this latest gaffe Bernie Sanders risks alienating one of the most important demographics: people whose job it is to pretend to be offended at every single thing he does, every single day
just in case anybody that takes adderall still thinks it's harmless... it's a huge ass molecule. You'd easily choke to death trying to swallow a molecule that size
Donating over $10,000,000 to victims of crypto fraud. Unfortunately though the money is currently being held in my home city of Lagos, Nigeria and I just require a small amount to cover the fees required to get the money out of the country;
Gf trying to tell me about Will Smith's marriage finally corners me inside a drainpipe overlooking a 100 foot plummet to the water below. "I don't want to learn about Will Smith's marriage!" I shout over the raging torrent. "I don't care," she shouts back. I slowly turn around
Twitter would be better if for every fave you got it had like a 1/800,000 chance of dropping a legendary rune ax or something, that your avatar could equip
Mfers just tried to hang me at the owl creek bridge and the damn rope snapped.... God damn these bozos are bad at executing, can't wait to get home and post more about how alive I am
Remember in history class when they were like So if they ever start doing child concentration camps you gotta do a violent overthrow of the government and we were like Hey when are we ever going to use this stuff
Sure, rich people's children who have been professionally groomed since birth may dominate the fields of art, media, journalism, politics, comedy, television, theater, literature, academia, and movies. But there's one creative field where they'll never excel... Posting online
Compromise: We're allowed to have good original movies again that aren't sequels or based on existing properties, just at the end the narrator says "And that guy went on to become... The Joker" and the movie's called Joker Legacy: Revelations or something
When I was a child, I thought humor was yoda photoshopped smoking a blunt and saying how doobies lead to munchies. Now that I am a man, I realize true humor is a yoda holding a cup with the caption "me holding a cup"
Fans are upset that a piece of trash was left in this week's episode of Game of Thrones... the piece of trash? That's right, it was the script, of the dialogue and plot of Game of Thrones
Just 5 years ago, the idea of delivery McDonald’s was the most fucked up, twisted, psycho shit imaginable. But now it’s something that everyone on this site does multiple times every day for some reason
As a small time landlord and owner of 10 properties, along with my wife (owner of 10 rental properties) and 7 beautiful children (all owning 10 properties each) , we depend on our renters to give us money to h ave
Got a letter from a restaurant I ate at last month. Apparently an out-of-network sous chef walked through the kitchen while they were preparing my burger and now I owe them $8,000
Yo AM, you gotta see this, you’re not going to believe it, AM. I got the blinged out albatross, check that out, you wear it around your neck, it symbolizes the burden of guilt and serves as a portent of doom to come. You can’t find these anywhere AM
All mafia movies are a psyop to trick Italians into buying into this fictional manufactured cultural identity and forgetting their true proud heritage as bomb-throwing anarchists
On the new Sunn O))) tour, halfway through the show they drop the robes to reveal their absolutely shredded new physiques, totally jacked, very low body fat %, and the crowd is losing it for their bodies, then they pick up the guitars and start playing 90s alternative jams
Trying to keep track of Malcolm Gladwell's likes and dislikes. So far for dislikes I have Norm MacDonald, and for likes I have Flying on the child sex slave plane to the child sex slave island
All the people who worked in her office and shuttled her around and told her how to vote and wrote her statements and stuff should be entombed along with her
(on my deathbed) My only wish is that after I'm dead, the bad decisions I made leading to terrible consequences for millions of people, be fixed. Via magic
Oscar Isaac kept saying he had a "sand guy" and they were kind of counting on that coming through but then when he went to call him he had changed his number or something. And that was a real setback
I love discussing whether movies are over/underrated. Also whenever I watch a sunset I spend the whole time imagining if a 25 year old who works at the AV CLub would think it's beautiful the correct amount