existential_shorty @existentialbby Twitter profile

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I am a first responder in the male loneliness epidemic

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

9 months

Before cumming, BC After cumming, AC

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Sending unreleased Lana tracks to a 50 year old man

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

American girl

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

2 months

I kissed the woodworker

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

5 months

Last leg of my trip.. free bleeding on the west coast of Norway. Body is destroyed from hiking. Picking up random half smoked cigs I find in ash trays. 3 hours of sleep. Staring at the water, feeling close to god

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

At five guys time square. The energy is absolutely sinister. A girl passed me and hissed “the fuck u looking at”. No one should have to work here. Food is incredible

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

On my way to the casino applying my lipstick on the CTA

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Just woke up from an anxiety dream about moving to NY. I was in a taxi looking out the window at 3 hot girls in a convertible fully submerged in the Hudson River. They were probably about to die yet they were giggling and screaming for joy as if nothing was wrong

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Your future wife is in a cave 200 feet below the earth’s surface

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

In 6th grade I texted my boyfriend “are you random?:)” on my maroon LG chocolate cell phone and he said “not really” and that was the beginning of dating men who aren’t right for me

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

Pisces behavior is being Deeply affected by your dreams for the first 4 hours of the day

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

I hope all the girls are who had stickers on their laptops in college are thriving

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Side hustle idea: offer ketamine therapy (snort not injections) out of your apartment to ppl who want to do treatment but don’t want to pay 300$ a session

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

New client showed up in a red Ferrari and wanted to get kicked in the balls for 30 min straight

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 month

I was so bad at Only Fans bc I have the heart of a woman from the 1800s

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Client request to go to Dubai and I actually can’t think of a place that is more incompatible with my nature and soul. Would rather go to Kansas or Indiana. On Dubai Reddit just getting pissed

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

This probably isn’t real

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 month

Me on SW Twitter: sleeping in my favorite gentleman’s penthouse ❤️❤️ Me on personal Twitter: sleeping at the woodworkers bedstuy apartment on the worlds most horrible pillow, will wake up and need surgery tomorrow

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Crying, NY slice in hand

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 month

I fucked the woodworker

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

24 days

In Illinois listening to Sufjan Stevens

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Doing my first real modeling shoot and being so drama. Bringing a giant suitcase with way too many clothing options, getting juice from Whole Foods, on speaker phone

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

new avi I was so tired of seeing my boobs

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

9 months

It took me forever to buy molly because my dr*g dealer asked me to chant with him and of course I said yes

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

29 days

Committing fare evasion in chicago just to feel something

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I made it

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

2 months

fucked my client in the ass last night and it got me out of my depressive episode

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

2 months

God is testing me with an emotionally unavailable woodworker and I hope I’m strong enough to resist

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

8 months

Me on SW Twitter: gonna have a day of rest and relaxation at the spa 😍🥰 Me on my regular Twitter: vitamin deficient low dopamine and searching for furniture in the garbage in bushwick

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

If u really wanna be good w girls always have access to -uppers -downers -good food w lots of dipping sauces -soft blankets -good lighting -the depths of your subconscious

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Not me walking into the bank in pink velvet booty shorts that say babygirl and a crop top

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

5 months

Woke at sunrise again ; having mild low self esteem. neurotically stretching while I listen to a vocabulary podcast. considering going to community college. For now I will just go jogging in queens -J

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

6 months

My client has coke dick so I’m just sitting here like “so what are your greatest fears?”

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

In a sex shop craving pure, unadulterated missionary

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Good morning girls it’s a beautiful day for me to get 5 hours of sleep and end my situationship

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

In my purity era where I am very thrilled by analog solitaire and reading about bodies of water (marshes, bogs, lagoons)

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

I thought I wouldn’t like my new therapist bc I found a pic of him online in a tiny beanie but I just met him and I love. I feel I might see him at basement

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

our host took us to this dinner the town was having and we expected a romantic feast in an Italian field or something and it was actually if small town Illinois was in Italy- a vintage motorcycle contest, guys in Jack Daniels t shirts, a bad cover band

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

I’m obsessed with hosting should I open an awful bed and breakfast in Bushwick

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 month

Girls listen to Aphex twin’s ambient track #3 on repeat and wonder why they feel insane

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

The other day I gave myself a haircut on ketamine. I didn’t follow any tutorial, just my intuition- and it’s actually not bad. Afterward I did a spell and threw my hair out the window (the spell worked for those wondering)

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

8 months

I am multifaceted and talented . I am simultaneously at the mechanic, on the phone with Southwest customer service, and running a Ta*get scam

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Who’s keeping indie sleaze alive? Me

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Not to generalize but boys with one dangly earring seem evil and I can’t even imagine going on one date with a one earring boy (studs ok, hoops ok)

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

No one: Every psychic in Manhattan: I’ll give you a discount if you leave me a Google review

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

4 months

Being a good daughter and trying to relate to my dad through his coin autism

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 month

“relaxing morning🩷” I tweet from my SW account w photos of me in a floral nightgown, a novel by my side Reality? I slept in a XL gas station-core t shirt. Too frantic to read. Was manically rearranging hotel furniture to get the right shot, kept dropping things

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

8 months

I love delusionally thinking my period aligns with the moon, weather & holidays. It is significant that it started on NY’s first major snow day, and that I will be bleeding on Valentine’s Day. I’m meant to be at home relaxing, tuning into my romanticism, doing little chores

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

13 days

You literally can’t joke on SW twitter I tweeted that I took too much Magn*sium and for some reason the other SWs were taking it so seriously and acting concerned for my health and safety like fine I’ll go back to just tweeting about cum then

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

7 months

Back in my hometown, remembering when I would take benzos and skip community college class to go to this barn and fuck this Mormon guy who did parkour

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

You’re in her DMs and she doesn’t follow you back, she’s sending me 15 minute voice messages about her worldview

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

had to email my bar regular, now he has my number bc it was in my signature

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

ChatGPT is it normal to be sad the day after the strawberry moon

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

at the small town Italian dive, it’s called “bar sport”

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

15 days

Nothing is free… (guy who works at the Vietnamese restaurant below me and gives me free pho is now sending me his poetry)

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Men are always like “I’m not gay at all but I did get my dick sucked by a guy once”

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I should go to a silent meditation retreat because I can’t shut the fuck up

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 month

Sucked his dick in the veterans bar

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

9 months

Obsessed with the fact that tomorrow is a new day

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I love when people are like what are you gonna do for work in nyc and I’m like ??? Start a graphic t shirt business

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

23 days

Pegged a guy at 9:15am to nine inch nails. It’s like a cup of coffee

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

27 days

The woodworker is picking me up from the New Jersey airport and taking me to get a hotdog…. He loves me

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Today I broke my record of least amount of time spent at the gym. I was there for 12 minutes and left in the name of “autonomy”

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

2 months

Just saw an 8 year old with a sweater that said “offline” she is the future

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

2 months

Your future wife just booked a flight on 9/11. She’s crazy

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I’m kind of unhinged on Twitter when I’m in europe good thing I only have 45 followers

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Listening to skrillex in downers grove

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

7 months

Good afternoon girls it’s a beautiful day to unfollow men

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Stumbled upon the Italian “adult couples/singles club” in the smallest village and they had a sign that translated to “we all sin with our minds, only brave souls sin with their bodies”

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

It’s not me going to a sex hotel with a water slide in downers grove, it’s investigative journalism

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

14 days

On DayQuil + black coffee gonna go get dommed for 3 hrs straight by my autistic client who literally quotes film noir lines during the session

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Feeling loved and validated by an old New Jersey bus driver. His kindness and his soul

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

9 months

Me looking at a mountain range: yeah that’s definitely not real

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

8 months

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Season 1 episode 6. I get that things are tense but if I were Kate in the early 2000s smash hit series Lost I would have already fucked Jack

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Said goodbye to my 50 year old man in a neon lit Chinatown restaurant, one tear going down my face

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Got the worst and shortest haircut of my life the other day and I didn’t even care. That’s stoicism

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

11 months

Living in nyc feels so primal because you’re just out all day, constantly in survival mode.. balancing not getting dehydrated while not drinking so much water that you get stuck w no place to pee, blisters on feet, hungry, (Today, glass in my thumb)

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I’m about to move to nyc and act like girl Kendall

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

11 months

Trying to find ways to relate to my dad so I texted him a picture of a war memorial I went past on my bike ride. He “loved” the message

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

19 days

My favorite is when they cum fast then talk to me about crypto for the remaining time

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

5 months

Lost My headphones and they are playing a house mix of somewhere over the rainbow at my gym and I’m having suicidal ideation

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

My SD took me shopping in LA and I was expecting to buy like 70s mini skirts but somehow ended up w a bunch of hypebeast clothes

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

7 months

Should I go get coffee from my frenemy downstairs (cafe owner) or should I walk to a new shop

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Seeing kids at upscale Beverly Hills cafes is crazy. They grow up having no concept that hot dogs don’t cost 35$

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

I almost hit this guy with my car and he smiled at me

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Bunny sent me this and I’m freaking out I had to lay down

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Crazy sensation to be back in my apt after 2 months. The floors look like they r a different color, my memory is deceiving me. The garden I let arie erratically plant is 7 Ft tall and wide n I can’t define any of the plants, my Very High Roomie still hasn’t done her dishes

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

7 months

Back in my hometown remembering when I was a teen ecst*sy dealer

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Good morning

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

Not me in my Harley Davidson shirt and Levi’s putting oil into my car

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

What I’ve learned from being a sex worker is that men with good jobs don’t read

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

So you’re telling me you saw my tweet and you didn’t like it?

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

Catching feelings for my client who’s ugly and weird

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

I got 7 hours of sleep and my life has meaning

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

9 months

At this French restaurant in New Jersey with my new stuffy French client. Eating raw meat. My burning question the entire time is “does he laugh?”

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

8 months

Seeing god in the Hyatt Connecticut

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

1 year

93 degrees out and didn’t bother to go on the stepping stool to turn my AC on. Making a beef stew for some unknown reason, the kitchen is heating up to 106, I’m holding my roommate hostage whom I almost never talk to and passionately discussing love

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existential_shorty

@existentialbby

3 months

When random old women start talking to me about their menopause, I feel purpose

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