Patrick Dubuque @euqubud Twitter profile

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

"What team do you root for?" "I mostly root for the punishment of hubris."

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

The next MLB proposal is going to include a pay cut for teachers somehow

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

wait until he hits arbitration, should be easier to imagine then

Cleveland Guardians

@CleGuardians

3 years

Can't imagine not having the greatest hitter alive on our baseball team. #ForTheLand

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

REPORT: Rockies looking to move on from Kris Bryant, willing to eat some salary in potential deal

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 months

I love the idea that normal jerseys are some sort of lost technology, like ancient machinery in a fantasy RPG

Stephen J. Nesbitt

@stephenjnesbitt

7 months

As issues persist with Nike’s new MLB uniforms — sweat stains, mismatching grays — Nike says it is searching for solutions. Meanwhile, a player asks, “Do we have the old ones in the back of the closet somewhere we can bring back out?” With @TylerKepner :

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

11 months

Can confirm, via sources: Ohtani and his dog are driving across the country in a big truck, talking to locals, feeling the pulse of America, writing a memoir that earns him the Nobel Prize for literature

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

mlb right now

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 months

MLB official statement: The pants reflect the pureness of the heart of the viewer. The more you can see through them, the emptier your own soul

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

BEAST: Your father is my prisoner. There’s nothing you can do. BELLE: Wait! ...take me instead. BASEBALL ANALYST: What a bad trade for the humans. At Belle’s age and salary, she offers far greater surplus value than the old man

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

A third broadcast with no announcers, just a jazz ensemble improvising to match the leverage index of the at bat

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

1 year

Some personal/professional news: I’m excited to announce that today is my first day as managing editor of Baseball Prospectus. Being a sports writer is the only job I’ve ever had that I both loved and was good at, and I’m thrilled to get a chance to write more often.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

It’s so funny to argue this while the upper class has opted itself out of downtowns, public schools, transit, etc. It’s almost as if the “sense of belonging” only matters when it belongs to them

New York Post

@nypost

2 years

Malcolm Gladwell slams working from home: 'What have you reduced your life to?'

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

The jocks/nerds dichotomy is so tiresome. Mostly I just want baseball to branch out into other cliques. I want there to be a whole bunch of Rockies goths, or Kansas City Royals theater kids, or the two Marlins fans who edit the literary magazine

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 months

At the aquarium, got kicked out of the touch tank because I kept asking them why they dispose of all the rays once they reach their third year of arb

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 years

cut this bill into pieces / this was my last resort suffocation / no cloture / don't give a fuck / if we can't reach a vote, sir

Justin Halpern

@justin_halpern

8 years

ooof the kicker on this New York Times story...

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

Due to overwhelming demand, here at long last is my MLB realignment proposal

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

I've released my 2022 projected standings. What do you guys think?

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 years

100% certain that Jon Lester is going to pitch naked tomorrow

Jon Morosi

@jonmorosi

8 years

Jon Lester: “Tomorrow, there are no rules, no boundaries, no guidelines.” Said he’ll be available but hopes “nothing weird is needed.” @MLB

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

If I were getting autograph from Rob Manfred, it’d be a folded-over sheet of paper hiding express consent to rebroadcast and disseminate MLB games

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

Say what you will about the current MLB playoff format, but you have to admit that it doesn’t involve the Denver Broncos

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

stage select

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

1 year

Just put together the immaculate grid of my life. Combined score of 16.4%, five guys without faces. The game actually left me a message congratulating me for wasting my life on these talents

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

Sue Bird arrived in Seattle seven weeks into the first season of the M's playoff drought, and she departs it four weeks before it could finally come to an end

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

In a bad mood today, so I might take an old baseball, write on it "son, you are my greatest gift, I will always love you, from Dad" and then donate it to Goodwill

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

updating my avatar for the holiday season

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

“The comments and opinions of the leader of the Seattle Mariners do not reflect the leadership of the Seattle Mariners.”

Ryan Divish

@RyanDivish

4 years

Statement from Kevin Mather

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

An artist’s conception of the Cleveland Guardians logo, front view

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

9 months

The “Ichiro wasn’t actually that good” contrarianism next HOF season is going to be intolerable. I can already see the faces on the YouTube thumbnails in my mind

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

How is Milwaukee's Rookie affiliate not called the Microbrewers

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

11 months

Acquiring Luis Urías to be your starting third baseman is the baseball equivalent of starting a task list and making the first line "make task list"

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

Is there a hypothetical player contract so rich that fans would treat him as well as they treat the owners

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

Ask yourself what you've been doing to help get Shohei Ohtani to play for your home town Have you even cleaned up your yard

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

"Heartwarming! After this teacher was shot, the district scraped some money together to pay for her school supplies"

Ian Rapoport

@RapSheet

2 years

#Bills S Damar Hamlin’s 4-year, $3.64M contract contains a standard split to pay him at a lower rate if he lands on Injured Reserve. This week, he was placed on IR. However, sources say Buffalo has worked out an agreement with the NFL and NFLPA to pay him in full.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

Keep infinite extra innings, but each one speed up the pitch clock by two seconds and up the tempo of the organ music, like when time is running out in Super Mario Bros

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

It literally took me fifteen years to write this essay. Even if no one reads it, it feels good to finally come to grips with it.

Baseball Prospectus

@baseballpro

7 years

A Monumental Decision @euqubud examines the role baseball teams and stadiums play in our cities and societies.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

10 years

@BMcCarthy32 I just drafted you in my fantasy league, so you better continue living your life and seeking happiness however you see fit

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

The problem isn't Kelenic. The problem is that the Mariners pocketed all the money they saved trading Canó, and ran a 24th-ranked payroll in a year they were supposed to be trying to contend. There was never a Plan B.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

I believe very firmly that Julio Rodríguez should be starting in left field for the Seattle Mariners tonight. I do not care about The Plan. I do not care about service time. He is the best player at that position in the organization today, and it's not even particularly close.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

Congratulations to JD Martinez for hitting 3.6 era-adjusted home runs in a single game

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 years

My favorite part in Die Hard is when the ghost takes him to see what it would have been like if he'd died too hard, and then not hard enough

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

Congratulations to Austin Nola, who leaves the Mariners as the sixth-best catcher in franchise history by fWAR He has 377 career plate appearances

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

1 year

What went wrong for the Mariners? Hard to say. Anyway here's the lineup from the fourth game of the season

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

Now I can’t wait for Edwin Jackson to retire

MLB

@MLB

4 years

After 15 years and 2,388 hits, Nick Markakis announced his retirement from baseball today.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

Ohtani is great, but what the Mariners really need is a guy who can pitch and then, on a couple of his off days, also pitch

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

being lied to by rich people is the true American pastime

Travis Sawchik

@Travis_Sawchik

3 years

Manfred on if owning a team is lucrative: "Historically, (the return) is below what you'd expect to get in the stock market."

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

Caucuses are what you get if you let extroverts invent voting

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

Hi, all. I came back out of retirement to write about Felix, and the evening that should have been depressing but turned out to be magical.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

“Kyle Freeland was born to pitch this game,” Buster Olney reports, officially eliminating humanity’s hope for free will

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

Good morning. The Seattle Sonics made the playoffs more recently than the Seattle Mariners The Sonics haven't existed for ten years

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

Steamer projected Tim Beckham to be worth 0.6 fWAR in 2019 Tim Beckham has been worth 0.7 fWAR in 2019

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

I bet Mike Trout uses Mario in Smash

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

Sources are saying that Maldonado's bat was illegal because it was crafted in the Paneveggio Forest of Central Italy, a wood that experts agree makes the world's most hauntingly beautiful sound when snapping on a mishit four-seamer on the hands

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

According to @fangraphs , Josh Hader had a WPA of -0.963 tonight. And by @Stathead , among single-inning pitchers, that's the 19th-worst performance since 1901.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

I think we can all agree that the catwalks would be better if they had little gutter systems that spit the ball out of spouts in random locations

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

wait why are you swinging he hasn't even thrown the ball yet. my god the plate's like fifteen feet behind you what are you doing

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

Some personal/professional/modern-capitalism-has-made-brand-identity-a-hellish-nightmare news: I'm stepping away from BP and baseball writing in general. My final piece will go up on Wednesday, and I promise that it will be as pointless as the others.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

Felix should start game 162 and throw 100 pitches no matter what the score is, unless he wants to stop. They should give out King’s Court shirts at the door and kick out anyone who doesn’t wear theirs. Then hand out 2010 programs so they can remember what teams he carried

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

Surprised the owners didn't vote to start the extra inning runner on third, since that's where they were all born

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 years

Republicans are the party of Lincoln in the same sense that the Oklahoma City Thunder are the basketball team of Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

What's weird is that they're going to keep playing baseball after this game

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

Credit to Bellinger for running out that pickle. If I had been picked off in that situation I would have laid down and waited for the earth to swallow me

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

@ClickHole press alt+F4 to pay respects

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

It's tragic that we'll spend tomorrow talking about that check swing call, instead of what's really important: continuing to brainstorm the funniest possible things Mike Shildt could have done to get fired that fast

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

2 years

Everyone who tweets about The Last of Us is like "amazing show, I am now incapable of feeling joy and my involuntary muscles no longer operate without manual input and I can't recall what my son's smile looks like when I close my eyes, can't wait for next week"

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

Remaining opponents with records above .500, AL WC race (9 games remaining): New York: 9 (TOR, BOS, TB) Toronto: 3 (NYY) Boston: 3 (NYY) Seattle: 3 (OAK) If you're a Mariners fan, you're rooting for NYY to lose to BOS, then sweep TOR, then lose to Tampa

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 months

Imagining one of those poignant call-up videos, except it’s a guy with a cheap suit and a blank expression presenting a cake that says “It is no longer disadvantageous for us to promote you”

Jeff Passan

@JeffPassan

7 months

BREAKING: The Baltimore Orioles are calling up infielder Jackson Holliday, the No. 1 prospect in baseball, a source tells ESPN.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

So, some professional news: I'll be serving as the Director of Editorial Content at BP, which basically means I'll be managing our writers and working on a lot of the big picture stuff behind the scenes.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

You wake up as the burlap sack is ripped off your head, thus beginning the interview for the Mets job

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

(at the zoo) random child: I WANNA SEE THE TIGERS WHERE ARE THE TIGERS me, whispering: bottom of the AL Central

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 years

The Chargers should have just typed "LA" into Wingdings and used that as their logo

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

when the owners say "worst proposal of all time" do they not know about the ones that happen in their own ballparks

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 months

Now that Snell's signed we're going to find out Jordan Montgomery actually quit baseball a month ago and is halfway up Mount Everest at the moment

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

9 years

Plastic bags to be awarded Toddler Toy of the Year

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

OWNERS: we want 60 games PLAYERS: we want 70 games OWNERS: that offer is so offensive we can’t even imagine responding to it for... 10 days

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

1 year

With two down in the ninth, Jake Cave steps up to the plate, pulls out a microphone, and explains that none of what we’re seeing is real, but just shadows of images reflecting on a wall. Everyone goes home and the series is canceled

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

I would humbly suggest that we, as a people, have moved beyond the need for keys to the game

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 months

The chaotic evil solution is to give the player the home run ball, but sign it yourself first

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

9 years

summarized

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

Motion to rename Baserunning Runs as Runs Above Ghost Runner

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

1 year

Sometimes you have to make your team a little worse in 2023 if it means also making your team a little worse in 2024

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

@cushbomb The next step is to start using obscure, unrealized Trump tweets to try and predict the future, a la Minority Report

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

5 years

when I forget to clean the litter box before I leave for work, I do that as a former writer of NotGraphs, not as a husband

Mike Mayer

@mikemayer22

5 years

Brodie Van Wagenen said that Jessica Mendoza was speaking as an ESPN analyst and not as a member of the Mets organization when she called out Mike Fiers today.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 years

Everyone knows that prospects are overrated. I mean, look at you. You were once a prospect and look what happened

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

The organist should speed up every song in the ninth inning, the way it does when you’re running out of time in Super Mario Bros

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

someone tell him we've already got people on tunneling

Nick Devlin

@nickdevlin

6 years

internet please stop, you're hurting me.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

Michael Jordan K%, 1994: 22.94% MLB Average K%, 2019: 22.96%

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

A horror movie where teenagers log onto BP at midnight and discover that PECOTA projects them to die

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

4 years

The cardboard cutouts should thin out the farther the team is away from a playoff spot

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

It’s just like Jim Bouton said, “You spend your whole life gripping a baseball and in the end you have to grip it a little harder and your arm explodes.”

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

8 months

Folks are more angry at Anthony Rendon for wanting to clock out at five than they are at the seven teams taking off the entire season

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

7 years

I've gone to 200 games and never caught a foul ball in my life, so I assume no one has ever done that, either

Albert Breer

@AlbertBreer

7 years

Is it horrible to want some proof? I dunno. I've probably been to 200 games at Fenway in my life. Never heard a slur yelled at a player.

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

3 years

Sad about the Doug Jones news. I hope at his funeral, instead of lighting candles, everyone in attendance is holding one of these

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

1 year

wow new daytime grid just dropped

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

6 years

Ken Giles blew a save and then hit himself in the face Tuesday night. I wrote an essay @baseballpro about self-harm, fatherhood, the sad truth about WPA, and finding forgiveness.

Cold Takes: Failure Concentrate | Baseball Prospectus

One thing that being a middle-aged dad and being an MLB closer have in common.

www.baseballprospectus.com

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Patrick Dubuque

@euqubud

9 years

"wait, wait. hear me out. what if the... what if, like, the entire field were a base?" http://t.co/xI1eRu2tHg