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@esherhouse

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434
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176
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1,606
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South East, England
Joined April 2020
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
We left @Ch_JesusChrist 2 months ago. My husband was the bishop and we have 6 kids. Didn’t have a grand plan, just knew there were things we didn’t believe anymore & things we couldn’t/wouldn’t support anymore. Thought it would feel like falling but mostly it feels like floating
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
11 months
My 14yr old’s first time using pastels. Maybe this is just wild to me because she’s my daughter, but say you want to support a young artist- are online classes the way to go? Any in particular?
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
I can’t get over how that guy killed his whole family and they’re still talking about what a great guy he was.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Heaven help the Mormon women who follow the prophets and marry young and have babies and stay home and are at the mercy of husbands who make 100% of the income, are handed 100% of the spiritual authority, and think that their wives 100% owe them.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
“In the 32 years that I have been a prosecutor, I have never once seen a victim be spoken for by their bishop or church leader. Not once.”
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@janariess
Jana Riess
2 years
This morning @_megconley , Donna Kelly & I were interviewed by NPR's @OnPointRadio about Mormonism, women & domestic violence. Heavy conversation. I'm still writing/processing.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Today I’m feeling a little sad for 19 year old me. I have a good life but I hate the climate at BYU that rushed me into marriage and babies. Especially that bishop in that BYU ward that pushed so hard. Must must, quick quick.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Hey @Ch_JesusChrist , when I was a teenager, I was told in a church class that black people are descendants of Cain and that they were fence sitters in the war in heaven. My parents read Spencer W Kimball quotes to warn me about interracial marriage. This was in the 90’s.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Only just starting to see how much damage the church did by planting the idea that good people don’t leave.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
My husband and I live different lives. He interacts with colleagues every day. He’s paid for the work he does. He receives feedback, sometimes awards. When he’s unwell he gets to be unwell- he doesn’t have to take care of the kids or do the school runs because I’m “at work”.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
CW: CSA Why do you do this @Ch_JesusChrist ?
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
You say it’s people that make religion bad and not religion that makes the people bad, but in my case, the religion made me bad. It numbed my empathy, shut down my critical thinking, actively taught me to be less accepting and inclusive, and made me feel superior.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
I never saw Utah content on here until I started tweeting and interacting with Mormons. Now I know about a whale, swinging TikTok moms, Spencer Cox 😬, Mike Lee 😬😬, Wasatch Front air quality, the shrinking of the Salt Lake, and I’m pretty sure you should vote for Becky Edwards.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
If I had to point to one person who led me out of the church, it would be Joseph Smith.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
A massive weight lifted. Surprisingly peaceful
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
11 months
@hwinkler4real I told her Stanley Yelnats’ dad liked her picture. She was speechless 😊
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Lavina Fielding Anderson was excommunicated for publishing an article that documented ecclesiastical harm. She still faithfully attended her ward for the next 25+ years and in 2019 her local leaders requested approval for her rebaptism. The first presidency denied the request.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
CW:CSA A man in my family molested his daughter and other girls in his ward and community for almost 2 decades. When he was finally caught, he was excommunicated for a few years and then let back in and given a temple recommend.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
“A clue to basic inequality is that no woman in the entire church, no matter what her position, is ever accorded a title by which to be addressed…No woman, no matter how learned in the scriptures, no matter how spiritually gifted, can ever rise above ‘sister.’
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
The way you can be tricked into selling this life for the next.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
Children see the inequality. I’ve heard little boys on multiple occasions say boys are better than girls because they have the priesthood, and you correct them and think that’s enough. But week after week they see it. Men in charge at the front, elevated, and boys with trays.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
If you want to try to fix this, you have to tell your members you were wrong and the priesthood and temple bans were not inspired. You have to apologise for the harm you have done and the harm many members continue to do because they still believe the bans came from God.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
Mormon men don’t fully understand how much patriarchy has influenced them. If you were raised in the church, you will probably have to really listen and learn, check yourself and fight against it for the rest of your life. I know some of you are doing that. Thank you.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
You know what argument I’m tired of? The one that goes the church had to ban black men from the priesthood because people were too racist back then. Guess what? People were way too monogamist for polygamy, and the church did it anyway.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Blessed are they who try to hide their obscene wealth so they can keep hoarding the widows’ mites. @Ch_JesusChrist
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
When I was a teenager, I nannied, cleaned houses and worked at the Gap. Married the summer after my 2nd year at BYU, a baby a year later and five more after that, and we’re just now at a point where I could go get a job. I’m qualified to nanny, clean houses and work at the Gap.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Our church magazine subscriptions haven’t ended yet and I was flipping through through the latest youth version before recycling and saw this 💔
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
The Mormon handbook for handling inconvenient truths:
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
This is what I didn’t want my kids around.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
BUT HE DIDN’T SLEEP WITH ALL OF THEM is a ridiculous argument. You can’t prove that Joseph Smith didn’t and trying to just shows that you know how awful it is. His next several successors+their buddies slept with teenagers. How many girls in the beds of old men does it take?
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
The biggest leap of faith I ever took was leaving the church. It seemed impossible to go, but I knew it wasn’t true the way they say it is, I couldn’t trust the leaders to lead me, and I didn’t want my kids breathing in the god endorsed racism, sexism, homophobia, patriarchy…
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
I’m not a fan of name calling and I called the church whining little liars so I apologise for that, but shame on you @Ch_JesusChrist for intentionally misleading and making false accusations while playing to the anti-media sentiments of your base. On top of everything else. Low.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
The higher you go in the church the more the women disappear. They’re there, of course, every male leader has to have one, but the female faces fade and the voices grow faint. We see them less and hear from them less and less and less until
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
You can tell the church is getting nervous when they start having 3 year olds sing about “questions that arise”.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
The way my Mormon family members are celebrating and posting quote after quote of the lies they learned at church. @Ch_JesusChrist , shame on you. You convinced them that this was a simple case of good vs evil, a holy war. They don’t know what they’ve done.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
The problem is that the only way to undo all the harm is to admit prophets, seers, and revelators get it terribly wrong, and if they get it terribly wrong, you can’t trust them, and if you can’t trust them, what is their purpose?
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
I see women in @Ch_JesusChrist shifting the narrative, standing their ground, pushing for more room in pews, calling on and calling out for the divine feminine, taking what power they can get and using it to make the places they stand more holy.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Anyway, it’s all fine but it was just one of those weeks when the disparity was clear and I felt like saying it out loud, in a way.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
I don’t know how many times I heard Mormons say that they had to vote for Trump because they needed those Justices to overturn Roe v Wade. The church doesn’t care about women.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
I keep thinking about this because it keeps showing up in my feed, but holding your baby in a blessing is such a small ask.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
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@janariess
Jana Riess
1 year
Last month, YA novelist Kiersten White outed herself to the @nytimes as having left Mormonism. She’d been “a true believer”—BYU grad, 19-y-o bride, young mom, living all the teachings. And now she’s not. Here, she explains what happened. @RNS
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
You can’t pour racist sermons, scripture, policy, and doctrine into the water for 140+ years and then say it’s all good now and expect people to agree with you. Members may choose to float along oblivious, but everyone else can see you’re still swimming in **it.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
We were all too young.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
When I wrote this I had maybe 3 followers and I didn’t expect anyone to see it. I just felt like saying something out loud and Twitter seemed to be the place where I would bother the least number of family and friends.
@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
We left @Ch_JesusChrist 2 months ago. My husband was the bishop and we have 6 kids. Didn’t have a grand plan, just knew there were things we didn’t believe anymore & things we couldn’t/wouldn’t support anymore. Thought it would feel like falling but mostly it feels like floating
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
It was our week to clean the church so we went and cleaned it. It was our last thing. I walked into the room where I spent hundreds of hours teaching seminary and was hit with overwhelming grief for the loss of that time when I was just pushing along.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
“Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven” and “prophets are imperfect men who make mistakes” are two of the most dangerous ideas in the church. One can get you to do anything, the other can get you to excuse anything.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
11 months
No situation justifies a man having authority over a woman solely because he is a man. Men made that up.
@TheGermanicist
𝕬𝖓𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖘
11 months
@sltrib “Ideally, the Latter-day Saint family is presided over by a worthy man who holds the priesthood. This patriarchal authority has been honored among the people of God in all dispensations. It is of divine origin.” - @NelsonRussellM
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Funny how the way adult women are treated in the church wouldn’t be acceptable in primary. Imagine giving little boys special power blessings and letting them sit on elevated stands at the front while they decide what the girls get to do and assign themselves 90% of the talks.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
If you stay and you’re quiet, nothing changes. If you stay and you’re loud and you back up your words with action, like a 23-day hunger strike to advocate for policy changes to protect children from being asked sexually explicit questions in one-on-one interviews with adult men,
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
He called Mormon headquarters after learning of ALL of the incidents. And you know it @Ch_JesusChrist . Whining little liars.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
We are still on the records. Most of the people I know who have left haven’t taken their names off. We frequently get messages from members who are on their way out. This includes a current RS president, a seminary teacher, an EQ president and a bishop.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Dear ward Relief Society, Saw that your lesson tomorrow is on RMN’s Overcoming the World talk. Despite what the stake president tried to imply, we did not leave the Church because we felt membership required too much of us. Best, Me ❤️
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
But sometimes…sometimes I wish I did something that meant something to people when they ask. Sometimes I wish I earned a salary. Sometimes I wish I went to work lunches, and fancy dinners, and travelled sometimes.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Just last year, a senior missionary claiming to represent multiple families in the ward emailed my husband to complain that there had been no mention of foreordination and valiancy in a 5th Sunday combined meeting about rooting out racism.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
They sit up there in their nice suits, clean-cut, self-satisfied, condemning and judging and every once in a while tossing generic white bread crumbs about love and kindness to keep the people coming back for more, like ducks in a muddy pond, reverently, quietly sitting ducks.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
I was always a little wary of heaven. I was afraid of ending up just one of any number of wives. That sounded like hell. And I was afraid someone I loved wouldn’t make it. An eternity without someone I love sounded like hell too.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
Imagine having a father who keeps your mother hidden and forbids you from speaking to her, punishes your brother for every mistake you make, subjects your sisters to the whims of his servants, and disowns you if you disobey or disagree.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Sometimes I’m almost desperate for people I care about to know that I’m still me. Sometimes I have to tell myself that I’m not what they say I am. It’s messed up.
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@esherhouse
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2 years
Good people leave, smart people leave, kind people leave. You don’t lose your light. You can be happy outside of the church and love and serve people and live a beautiful life.
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@esherhouse
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2 years
The neighbour after was pregnant too. The walls were thin and I could hear her husband yelling at her for things like setting her books on the bed. She cried and apologised. He was always smiley in the stairwell and I always thanked my lucky stars I hadn’t married a secret jerk.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Heading to my second time at my new (and never Mormon) book club and the book is Tara Westover’s Educated 👀
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@esherhouse
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2 years
“Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day. The housewife wears herself out marking time: she makes nothing, simply perpetuates the present…
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@esherhouse
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2 years
For years I’ve watched women who are close to me be disbelieved and dismissed by church leaders while their clean-cut, charismatic, Mormon voiced, scriptorian, “spiritual giant” abusive husbands are supported and elevated to leadership positions.
@jet_set
Colombia
2 years
@AnnalisaTalking @RosalynEves @rachelsteenblik This is especially important when abusers can be so charming, nice, have such a chokehold on appearances. It’s unconscionable that this keeps happening. It’s a devastating failure—demonstrating a refusal to learn and engage at multiple levels: public, private, and church.
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@esherhouse
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1 year
Russell Nelson says seducing spirits got me. He says you shouldn’t listen to me now. He says Satan will get you. He says I’m going to be alone forever and ever. Happy to be free from their fear and shame.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
Don’t know why they bothered trying to hide the money from the members. Most seem overjoyed that the church has untouched billions and totally cool with the rule breaking and intent to deceive.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
*I should clarify those quotation marks. My husband is the best of the best and he only goes in if I’m unwell when he absolutely has to. I was trying to indicate that what he does is officially called work. We both work but he’s “at work” and I’m “at home”.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
The church can denounce and distance itself from the Lafferty brothers, but what to do about that pre 1990 temple ceremony? I was sure it was anti-Mormon lies when I first heard about throat slitting gestures and oaths of secrecy kept on penalty of death. Will be hard to explain.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
Keep it hidden, lie if you have to. If it comes out and there's no getting around it, desensitize, gaslight. Tell them it's no big deal, everyone knows that, has known forever. Blame it on god. Compare what you're asking them to believe or do to Abraham almost killing his son.
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@esherhouse
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1 year
I just got a message from an old friend saying they left the church a few months ago and they’ve been thinking about me because they had no idea how hard leaving was. Same. I had no idea and I know I was judgmental and dismissive. I’m sorry to everyone who left before me 😔
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@esherhouse
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2 years
I wouldn’t mind meaningful feedback. I would love to stay in bed when I am unwell. I wish I knew I would be able to take care of myself and our kids if something happened to him.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
One of the most popular children’s songs in @Ch_JesusChrist is about going and doing like someone who went and cut off an unconscious man’s head. We were taught to be willing to do anything and that obedience and sacrifice are everything.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
It took more than a hundred years for @Ch_JesusChrist to say that black families can be together forever too. Will it take a hundred more to say, we’re sorry?
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
I can’t explain it, but things are so much more beautiful on this side of the church for me. Everything- people, the woods, the sky, the sea, rain, music, the way the sun is falling over the petals of some flowers in a vase on my windowsill. That god got in the way somehow.
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@esherhouse
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1 year
I have found that nothing makes members angrier than saying women are not equal in @Ch_JesusChrist .
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@esherhouse
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3 years
If I was a god who was in the habit of sending angels with flaming swords, I’d deploy them in better ways. Less prophet wife procuring, more stopping mean little men from destroying the world.
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@esherhouse
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2 years
When members say “prophets are imperfect men who make mistakes”, it’s usually to excuse terrible racism, the suppression and abuse of women, and blatant homophobic bigotry.
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@esherhouse
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1 year
“You can leave ______, but you can’t leave it alone” is a common narrative used by high demand groups to feel special, feed a persecution complex, and dismiss critics. People leave and talk and people who stay are uncomfortable because it’s breaking the shared #1 rule:
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@esherhouse
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2 years
I used to see people who weren’t members and think how amazing it would be if they joined the church. Now I see members and think how amazing it would be if they could love their kids all the way.
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@esherhouse
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2 years
I don’t understand members who shame and shun people who leave. You believe god will take care of us in the next life so why not just love and care for everyone here? Especially if you have kids who’ve left. Just love them. God doesn’t need you to do his dirty work.
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@esherhouse
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2 years
We had a good ward filled with amazing people. It was hard to leave. I’m often told I left because I was weak, because the callings or commandments were too much. We didn’t mind the callings or commandments. It was the leaving that took all the strength I could find and
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@esherhouse
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1 year
I think a lot of the stuff the church does is wrong. I also think calling people cowards or immoral for staying is wrong. Leaving is a massive, life changing decision and you can’t know what the consequences will be for someone else. No one should be pushed or shamed into it.
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@esherhouse
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1 year
We were told our whole lives the church is true, prophets speak to god, this life is a test, we have to do all we can do OR risk losing everyone we love forever and ever. I don’t think it was a glitch in our brains that compelled us to act. Scrupulosity is an overused diagnosis.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
To the deznats and ☔️, I didn’t know you existed until some of you sent my daughter death threats and told her to kill herself. And I didn’t know, and never in a million years would have believed, that church leaders wouldn’t care.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
There was nothing easy about leaving. I have been told my whole life that only bad people leave and I have always wanted to be good. Choosing to walk away, knowing that it would change relationships and not knowing what was waiting on the other side, took all the courage I had.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
Put the hard stuff into the category of politics, call it contention. Say it's persecution, the world, anti-Mormon. Make excuses for bad behaviour. People are imperfect, a product of their time, they didn't want to but they had to. They were vilified like Jesus, so misunderstood.
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@esherhouse
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11 months
One time I was in a seminary teacher training meeting and the CES coordinator commented on the fact that all the teachers in our area were women. He said they try to call sisters to teach early morning seminary because they are mindful that the brothers work. Lots of thoughts but
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@esherhouse
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3 years
I didn’t know that the first commandment in the @Ch_JesusChrist isn’t to love god with all your heart, and it isn’t to love your neighbour as yourself. The number one rule in the church is to not criticise the leaders.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
Encourage not caring about offensive things, shame those who do care. Humiliate the question askers. Scare them. Call them lazy, weak, foolish. Tell them they are nothing without you. Tell them they will lose everything if they walk away. Convince them that they are alone.
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@esherhouse
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2 years
He goes to lunch with people as part of his job. Sometimes there are fancy dinners, travel. He has multiple degrees. When he’s asked what he does, he has something to say that is respected. If something were to happen to me, he would just have to arrange childcare and cleaning.
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@esherhouse
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1 year
It isn’t surprising that Mormons wish the people who leave would be quiet. Who wouldn’t want to keep polygamy, a massacre, the banning of black families from the temple, children being asked sexually explicit questions alone in a room with a man, etc, etc, etc. quiet.
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@esherhouse
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3 years
…so long as one segment of a society has rank and title, the segment that does not is oppressed. Either everyone should be accorded titles (the same titles for men and women), or no one should. I prefer the latter” - Sonia Johnson ^things I thought but could never say out loud
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
Point to someone with an impressive degree, someone nuanced with credentials who has or is willing to explain it away in a book. Find a poster child, a person who can be seen as representative of the people you've hurt. Send them on fireside rounds to tell everyone it's fine.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
We were married so young and had so many kids, staying home while he went to school so he could get a good job that would make enough money is what made sense. And it was encouraged, of course. And it’s fine. He is good and I have a good life and I am grateful.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
I happened on this while looking for an unrelated quote I heard at BYU. It’s Merrill Bateman(byu pres & GA) blaming his 8 year old son for being in a horrific accident because he didn’t want a father’s blessing. The sad thing is, I’m sure at the time I thought that made sense.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
Warn them about people who leave. Make sure they know how dangerous they are.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
I know people who’ve left because of shame and gone back because they thought they deserved it. One of the kindest, most gentle people I know did that. He was gay and went away for a long, long time and he thought he was worthless and so he came back and was rebaptized and
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
They kick you out.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
3 years
you reach the very heavens where they would like to keep the mother they say that we have there silent and invisible forever.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
2 years
My neighbour across the way at Wyview was even younger than I was and tiny and just 19 when she had her baby. We were pregnant at the same time along with the neighbour above and kitty corner and next door to that and next door to that.
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@esherhouse
tiff2.0
1 year
Pictures of trek popping up on Instagram and 😢. They reenact burying babies, do they also reenact a company captain beating a sick, pregnant mother with a bullwhip and have everyone walk off and pretend to leave her dead in the dust for her husband and five children to bury?
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