The Dining Room @eldiningroomi Twitter profile

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

7 years

Fruitella Three Ways.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

2 years

Lockdown Party Fines Explained:

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

Back in 2000, Craig David met a girl on a Monday, took her for a drink on the Tuesday and then they made love for longer than Parliament has been given to consider this Brexit deal.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

In other news, if you had a New Years Eve booking somewhere you’re about to be contacted about it by someone who’s pretty much just had their heart ripped out. Don’t be a dick.

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

@BJFHubbard Hi Ben, I’m Si from The Dining Room, I’d love to use this footage in a passive aggressive Facebook message to my waitresses about putting clingfilm on the bar fruit properly before putting it in the fridge? Will credit obvs. DMs open.

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Wasn’t gonna bite, but just ran that Chartwells basket through Tesco online. £7.37(£4.88 if you’re that much of a cunt that you split packs of the Frubes, malt loaf & cheese slices). Imagine how much it is with their negotiated prices for buying in bulk.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

The world may be going to shit, but today someone took the time to post these all over the Menai Bridge and I might just focus on that instead for a bit #WorldSuicidePreventationDay

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

Not wasting my time reading what some sad, jealous, little prick’s had to say. So here’s a nice photo from the time @StickyWalnut decided to raise £11,800 to keep my restaurant going, my staff paid, my suppliers paid, my mortgage paid etc etc when I first got ill. Now fuck off.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

17 people a day in the uk. Check your people.

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

If supermarkets are genuinely safer then how about he lets us reopen but we do it without any of the rules, just let anyone in without any contact details and let the random table with an empty hand wash and half a blue roll by the entrance work it’s magic?

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

Don’t do a pumpkin. Get told off. Do a pumpkin. Get told off. Restauranting’s a minefield.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

@WestminsterWAG I mean it could be because , and I’m just speculating here, he knew who you were?

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Hospitality is still the band on the Titanic. It’s just that in this version the captain and crew are telling the passengers the band put the iceberg there, instead of sorting out the lifeboats.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

@RaithRovers “First and foremost this was a patio laying decision…”

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Remember guests? Guests are quality. #BeMoreBen

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Craig David followed Seven Days with Walking Away. Released on 31st October that year. LinkedIn would’ve spotted that.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

Just had an argument with The Wife because I’ve brought a rib of beef for tea and she wants chicken caesar salad. Anyway I won the argument so I’m nipping out to pick up some romaine and Parmesan.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

Just off to slam my head repeatedly in an oven door.

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

The Dining Room is 10 years old today. A lot of work to be done if we’re gonna make it through another 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months... but it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do. Stay safe and we’ll hopefully see you on the other side x

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Be quality if Rashford got a move to one of the Big 4 out of this as well 🤞

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@eldiningroomi

8 years

So. Yeah... This...

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@eldiningroomi

6 years

Hi @TripAdvisor , yesterday you said it was fine for a man to demand a discounted bill in exchange for not leaving a bad review and that blackmail didn’t violate any of your submission guidelines, just wondering if you got my email? Because to be honest it’s tricky contacting you!

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Ok, I’ll take the fucking thing just keep her away from my computer.

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

Watched a film last night and Elisabeth Moss was doing bacon and eggs and she only put the bacon in the pan when the fried egg was like 97% cooked and I know this stuff shouldn’t bother a grown adult but this film is on Netflix and young people could watch it and that’s not ok.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

EVERYONE STOP RESTAURANTING IMMEDIATELY. I’ve just had a cancellation for this weekend because they can’t get anyone to water the garden so they’ve cancelled their holiday.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

Three years ago today I imploded, and after three years of drugs, pain, physio and attention seeking I’m still broken. So... Chefs: Don’t. Be. A. Dick. If your body is telling you to take a break, take a fucking break. You’re welcome.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

In homeschool news, turned up a few minutes late for registration and ignored everyone. When they come back from PE with Joe Wicks I’m gonna make them call me by my first name and start a rumour I’ve got a motorbike. #HomeschoolsOfInstagram #Teachering

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

As the country fights over bog roll and shops cash in on handwash, don’t forget that 16 people die by suicide in this country a day. So obvs look after yourself, but look out for others aswell and don’t be a dick.

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Yo @MichelinGuideUK , you sorted the algorithm for this years stars yet?

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

#2 daughter, 8, leaves a handle when she makes her toast. That is all.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

@mrjamesob Breakfast means breakfast etc

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

In other news...

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Annnnnnnnnd we’re back...

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Takes a special type of bellend to have a go at a restaurant making a curtesy call to check they know we have to cancel the table they’ve so far refused to pay a deposit on for 8 days because we’re going back into lockdown and probably out of business.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Nailed it. #Easy

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

@danbloom1 He’s gonna shit the bed when he finds out his boss’s Brexit strategy 😬

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

So can Boris play in the Australian Open now or not?

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

“...my partner and I left hungry and even stopped at the chip shop on the way home” - FoodieCouple187 (1 Review)

northernsnippet

@NorthernSnippet

4 years

☹️

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Wetherspoons will be full tomorrow because unfortunately that’s the world we live in so remember that yes, the owners a massive dickhead but the staff are normal people with a job, bills and responsibilities. Ideally go somewhere better and either way don’t be a dick xxx

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

“...Last table guys... Oooh and they’re straight to mains, one bream and one steak medium well, push this out and we’ll make last orders... Nusret... Nusret, I said if we push this out we’ll make last... fuck it... baellend...”

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

Afternoon @MichelinGuideUK , We both know I was nailed on for some stars this year, any chance you can push it along a bit and send me a couple out before we close? Regards Si

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

8 years

Yeah, somehow I don't think you'd get this from the "big" companies. #shoplocal #penllynposh &becks

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

Very proud to announce we now hold one AA Rosette AND three Haribo Starmix 🥂🍾 #CrockeryOfInstagram #Restauranting #Starmix

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

Meanwhile in Wales A Handsome Man gazes at the rain... AHM: “No show weather this” #1 Daughter: “What’s no show daddy” AHM: “It’s when people ask for a table at daddy’s restaurant and then don’t turn up” #1 Daughter: “...but that’s not fair on the other people” She’s 7.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

@MancVsFood Marr On Sunday.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

@jayrayner1 “Homemade” ice cream!?! So presumably the rest of that crap is from Brakes?

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Devastating scene this morning, but we will rebuild and we will come back stronger #PrayForUs #StormCiara

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

Before you take to Tripadvisor in a couple of weeks to be a prick about a restaurant’s wine list please bear in mind I wrote most of it from memory while drinking shit supermarket rose warm. Also, even the guys that work at Tripadvisor think you’re a prick.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

If you’re gonna tell a restaurant 27 times that your booking is for your wife’s birthday then do let them know if you’re not gonna make it. Got a brass band and a stripper still waiting in the back and it’s getting a bit awkward to be honest. In other news, kill me.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

In restuaranting news, tooday I was told I was “unreasonable” for not giving a table to a couple with a fucking manhoosive dog, who would need walking between courses(by the waitrii) because he gets restless. Fully booked and don’t allow dogs, by the way. Anyway, as you were...

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

#2 Daughter, 7, told me we were having a BBQ so I prepped meat, veg, salads, garlic bread and dewinterised the beast and then they decided it was too cold and apparently we’re having a BBQ lunch tomorrow. I just got no showed by my own family #Deposits

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

A roast with good roasties but disappointing meat is better than a roast with good meat but disappointing roasties. No need for Sue Gray. This is a fact.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

I’m so over suppliers that don’t deliver the stuff you actually need just because you didn’t order it. Pricks.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Didn’t do the Eat Out thing as we’re closed Monday to Wednesday due to me being a part time Executive Head Chef Patron/full time massive decrepid loser and today is the first day since I reopened I’ve not been shouted at for being closed Monday to Wednesday, so that’s cool 👍

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

@alexjameshq Because you live in a house, a very big house in the country?

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

Guy outside just called his family over to show them how “weird” my menu is, so that was cool.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

Crumpet. Rarebit. Sandwich prawns. Your move Brown.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Driving down to the restaurant and just stand in there feeling a bit shit is still essential travel right?

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

Would just like to say hi to the bizarre amount of new followers we acquired last night, it really is lovely to have you all, hope you’re having a lovely Tuesday and remember, Gino D’Acampo’s a cunt 😘

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

You are a genuinely beautiful man @StickyWalnut or @Elite_Bistros or @WhateverAccountYourUsingThisWeek 😘 😘😘

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Adds “Uses metal scourers in non stick pans” to the list...

Nigel Farage MP

@Nigel_Farage

4 years

Supporting Clap For Our Carers.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

The most remarkable thing about this picture is that technically I’m the same species as these two handsome pricks. #GingerOneFromGirlsAloud

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

It’s taken me 5 years to work this out, but the main reason I prefer working on my own is that I don’t have to deal with pricks nicking my oven cloth.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

First place to get rinsed on Tripadvisor for trying to enforce their interpretation of the rules vs SilverFoodie2387’s interpretation of the rules gets a pack of Rolos.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

4 years

Yeah, so The Dining Room kitchen team took on the trendy TikTok #PassTheNegroni Challenge 🤘

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@eldiningroomi

9 years

This may be the greatest photograph ever taken. http://t.co/15OzhbijgJ

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@eldiningroomi

9 years

Day 9: The hunt goes on, but I'm pretty sure we're closing in on Morrissey #current http://t.co/iXl6sZaHli

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

For those of you who aren’t tennis experts like me, Djokovic is BFFs with this nobber and that’s all you need to know about him.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

If anyone needs me I’m just nipping to town to get a new little plant thing to replace the one table 5 pulled all the leaves off last night. Shouldn’t be long 👍

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

@GaryUsher_ @Elite_Bistros OMFG!!!

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

3 years

Just called a man “Sausage” thinking it was a regular but turns out he just has the same name as a regular and so now I’m gonna have to close the restaurant and move to Nepal.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Boris Johnson doesn’t take the day dots off before he puts the tub in the sink. Pass it on.

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

No Weddings And 55,024 Funerals

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@eldiningroomi

7 years

Restauranting is 50% fixing toilet seats and 50% pretending you’re changing a dish because you’re a temperamental culinary genius and not because you forgot to put an order in last night.

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@eldiningroomi

6 years

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that” 👊 It shouldn’t take celebrities to make you care what people around you are battling.

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@eldiningroomi

3 years

Don’t wanna get boring about no shows again but I’ll leave this out there, it’s not just the restaurant they don’t give a fuck about it’s the bazillion people I had to turn away tonight.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

6 years

Delighted to announce that we are in 4 copies of The Good Food Guide in Waterstones, Llandudno. I’ll try and do some more but the woman’s watching me now. #GFG19

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

#2 Daughter: “Why are there two boys dancing together?” Wife: “They just are, some boys have boyfriends instead of girlfriends...” #2 Daughter: “Oh, can I have a biscuit?” #StrictlyComeDancing

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@eldiningroomi

6 years

The other thing about no shows. Which kind of slips the net. Is the bit where I get to go home and explain to The Wife that I could have stayed at home and done painting with my girls instead of leaving them crying at the door when I came in to prep this morning.

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Behold, the exact moment 2020 peaked... in fucking January... 👍

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Please watch this short public information film and then follow the link above the 2011 picture from the daily post that they weirdly stuck a filter on so I look even more fluorescent which luckily has been used alongside any mention of The Dining Room ever since 👍

The Staff Canteen

@CanteenTweets

4 years

Here is #TSCAwards2020 Social Media Influencer shortlist! 📱 Vote now ➡️ @koppertcressUK @RATIONAL_AG @garethwardchef @poppy_cooks

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Right, didn’t want to do this because it feels like a step towards closing and if I close I don’t think we’ll reopen but basically I’m not comfortable exposing the girls to all this carry on so I’m gonna have a swing at takeaway for a bit to cover some bills 😳 #Fuuuuck #PrayForMe

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

10 years in and we’ve just had our first “we left hungry and nearly got fish & chips on the way home” Tripadvisor review. Feel like a proper restaurant now. Emotes. #RestaurantRitesOfPassage

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

No date to open, rent due, phone due, freezer’s fucked, fridges empty, bar empty, £6.23 available... currently looking at posh aprons because I’m a phenomenal businessman 👍

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@eldiningroomi

6 years

This #MentalHealthAwarenessDay I won’t be signing off social media for a week because I’ll be an absolute nightmare to be around if I do 👍

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

This Halloween I’ve come as the hospitality industry waiting to hear the new Tier 27 guidelines...

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

@lisa_dizzy @Drooan @nickiabbey No idea but 100% can’t unsee that now

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

“I’m really sorry we’re fully booked for August” “Well, that’s no way to run a business...”

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Just rebranded from small indie that gets constantly told to take deposits into small indie that gets abuse on the phone for taking deposits.

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The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

5 years

@HawksmoorMCR At least it wasn’t a new one

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

Better call the bailiffs and tell them I’ll be back for the Bentley on the 14th 👍 #OutdoorDiningAreasOfInstagram

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@eldiningroomi

6 years

“Yeah so we’re crowdfunding our new resto in Prescot, it’s gonna be £50 grand in 24 hou...”

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

For maths today #1 Daughter, 9, had to cash up for a pretend school fair. She’s just asked me to check her working out. I got 4 different answers. She’s just explained it to me and hers(which I hadn’t got) was right. Also, I have a business.

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Not bothering with chocolates for our lovely guest’s bills tonight #CustomerDelights #BillPlatesOfInstagram

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@eldiningroomi

4 years

As someone who’s stood at the till with their wife in tears putting stuff back I can’t even begin to imagine what level of cunt would deem that even passable.

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@eldiningroomi

6 years

Tonight a lovely boy called Nick overpaid by £25 because we undercharged him last year. There are some fine people around.

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@eldiningroomi

2 years

I have just informed the BBC that I will not be appearing on Masterchef The Professionals again tomorrow #IStandWithGary

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

In cancellation news, we all lead busy lives so feel free to just cut and paste last months reason...

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@eldiningroomi

7 years

“Hey, you asked yesterday for extra shifts this week, because you can’t afford to live” “YES! Have you got any?” “Can you cover tonight or tomorrow” “No I’m going out” “...but?” “I was thinking Tuesday or Wednesday” “When we’re closed?” “Yeah, I’m really skint” #restauranting

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@eldiningroomi

5 years

Ok. And yet the greatest tweet of all time got 26 likes. You lot are weird.

The Dining Room

@eldiningroomi

9 years

Day 9: The hunt goes on, but I'm pretty sure we're closing in on Morrissey #current http://t.co/iXl6sZaHli

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