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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶 Profile
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶

@dreadfurysong

1,425
Followers
1,831
Following
8,411
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Catholic ☧. Midwest Reaper. Chapter Master of the Death’s Hand Legion. 1A/2A absolutist. All taxation is theft. #TeamIronWill | Psalm 144:1 | The 118th

FEMA Region 5
Joined August 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
For anyone who doesn’t already know this about me, allow me to repeat: - I’m politically homeless. - I only support the Constitution. - God, family, country in that order. - All taxation is theft. - The government is a mafia. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Pedophilia has a cure.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
@WarPath2pt0 Thank God I’m an American where this shit gets handled by 5.56.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Anyone who espouses this, enables this, or practices this gets their choice of fire or woodchipper.
@DelusionPosting
Delusional Takes
6 months
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Do you regard this man with respect or contempt?
@PicturesFoIder
non aesthetic things
8 months
"The Alaskan Avenger" Jason Vukovich smiling at his brother after receiving a 23 year sentence. Jason used the state's sex offender registry to track down offenders, break into their homes, and beat them with a hammer. Both Jason and his brother were sexually abused as children.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
11 months
To any and all concerned: I’ve taken some time away from Twitter to tend to pressing family matters IRL. Anyone of you who are the praying type, I could use your prayers for my father as he undergoes the latest challenge that has been put in front of him. I appreciate you all.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Well here’s a scalp I wasn’t expecting 🤣
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
Welp, since my snitch of a coworker went and complained to my boss for me snapping on her hyper-sensitive patronizing attitude, I now have to “apologize and bury the hatchet.” How does one, “apologize without being sorry?” Asking for me.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
7 months
What’s the greatest TV series of all time?
@KiernanActual
Jim Kiernan ☢️
7 months
What's thr greatest TV series of all time?
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Friends, I have exciting news: I HAVE A NEW JOB! Thank you to everyone who showed support for me while I was searching, y’all are spectacular. End of news. Please continue your regular scheduled shitposting.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Until the threat is a threat no more. No more and no less.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
10 months
Sitting in the treehouse my brother built for his kids, making all the kids pay the “high five” toll going past me, sipping bourbon. Peak weekend activity.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
GM friends, it’s Friday! Time to caffeinate, hydrate, and shitpost the gun control and sexual predator crowd. LFG! A special welcome back to @NagaT4co , we missed you!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
GM friends. With the partial, if not full, release of the Epstein client list a new workout regimen has dropped. Caffeinate and hydrate friends. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
@hodgetwins Because we’re all watching the planned obsolescence of the greatest nation on earth. The government is actively ceding out sovereignty to globalism. This is the first step.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
Mail call after work. The knife collaboration from @03MetalWorks and @3cCustom came. Gentlemen, you’ve outdone yourselves. The blade’s steel and finish are exemplary. The handles are perfect with beautiful mosaic pins. It’s truly a masterpiece and a knife I’ll treasure forever.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! It’s Monday, we’re all one hour ahead and the week begins anew. Drink your coffee and don’t forget to hydrate. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! It’s Wednesday and we’re halfway to the weekend. Caffeinate and hydrate and LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Mom update: she was admitted for crushing chest pain. Her first blood work had elevated trops. She’s been moved to a room. Her trops are now higher than the time before. No new updates as of yet. I’ll know more in an hour. Thank you to everyone who’s reached out. I ❤️ you all
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Good morning friends! It’s the halfway point. Caffeinate and hydrate as usual. Make it a great day today. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
7 months
GM friends! It’s Wednesday and we’re at the halfway point! Caffeinate and hydrate well as we crest the hill. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 4.0: Mom’s back from cath lab. She had a 98% occlusion of the circumflex. She’s had a stent put in. Now it’s time for a chicken salad sandwich for her. Discharge likely tomorrow. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. My mom, family and I are deeply grateful
@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 3.0: things are moving quickly this morning. Interventionist moved up mom’s cath procedure to 1100. They’re unsure how long it will take but she should be done and resting by early afternoon. A quick shower and I’ll be collecting dad and heading to the hospital.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
10 months
A lot of talk going around about gun owners worried about registering their weapons before the end of the year. FYI: a registry is unconstitutional as well as them knowing what we own. Fuck the government. Don’t register shit.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Completely unacceptable. If anyone following me has a problem with how I view this kind of thing: leave now.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Holy crap! A more efficient woodchipper? Oh the possibilities…😈
@gunsnrosesgirl3
Science girl
8 months
automated tree shredding taken to next level
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
@ATFHQ Remember when you murdered all those women and children at Waco? The audacity of this post is astounding.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
Well, Chicago, you all fucked up big time.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
10 months
Who had Skynet on their 2023 bingo card?
@TheInsiderPaper
Insider Paper
10 months
BREAKING: Ahead of OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s four days in exile, several staff researchers sent the board of directors a letter warning of a powerful artificial intelligence discovery that they said could threaten humanity - Reuters
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 years
Fuck Illinois. My ancestors didn’t own any slaves. I’m not paying shit. 🖕🏼
@Wirepoints
Wirepoints
2 years
Illinois launches slavery reparations commission website via @altontelegraph
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 years
@crybabybtzzz @shoe0nhead @Reversemocking1 I like that the problem they’re having is with the skin color of the pilots and not the working conditions they’re striking about.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 months
Former mutual of mine wants to go and say that harming children—autistic ones at that—is a viable course of action. Blocks me when he’s called out. Good fucking riddance. I’ll take this scalp happily. 🖕🏼
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
If your idea of being “edgy” is to admit publicly you’re a pedophile then you deserve all of the enmity that is brought down upon you. I, for one, have only one thing to say about this bullshit. Feet first, on idle.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
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@EndWokeness
End Wokeness
8 months
Say her name: Iris Rita Alfera (1) Her kiIIer is Aleisia Owens (20). Alesia force-fed this baby girl with screws, batteries and nail polish remover. Bring back public executions.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Grilled chicken thighs fresh off the grill for dinner 😋
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! It’s Tuesday and I have a bone to pick with a certain cowardly piece of shit today. Caffeinate and hydrate as usual. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Dinner is served
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Steaks are on
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Good morning friends! It’s Monday and we start the grind anew. Coffee and water per SOP. Don’t forget to uplift the homies and drag the politicians. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 months
Paycheck finally drops into my account earlier this afternoon. I get to the range for my CCL renewal 15 minutes early and successfully avoid temptation to buy a new gun. Please clap.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
My fellow Americans, I believe it’s time to liberate Canada.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
It takes a great wealth of patience for me to keep from saying things about certain assholes on here. The day is rapidly approaching when that caution will be tossed to the wind.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
TL cleanse
@contextdogs
out of context dogs
6 months
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 5.0: Mom’s home. Restrictions on her activity level are in place. Last EKG showed this heart attack affected her EF. No news on that for another week or two. She’s happy she’s at home with the dogs. Again, I can’t thank you all enough for your prayers and kindness ❤️
@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 4.0: Mom’s back from cath lab. She had a 98% occlusion of the circumflex. She’s had a stent put in. Now it’s time for a chicken salad sandwich for her. Discharge likely tomorrow. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. My mom, family and I are deeply grateful
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
7 months
GM friends! It’s Sunday, time to relax, coffee up, hydrate, and destroy the predators. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
Good morning frens! It’s Friday, the weekend is upon us and God is good! Today’s theme:
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Good morning friends! It’s Friday Eve and we’re one day away from kickstarting the weekend. Caffeinate, hydrate, and have an amazing day. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Good morning friends! It’s Tuesday and the Doom portal didn’t open yesterday so we’re back to our regular shitposting. Caffenate, hydrate, and dominate today. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
7 months
I’m dead ☠️☠️☠️☠️ @manhattanmaker and @HardPass4
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
9 months
Welp. Unemployment here I come.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
3 months
Good morning friends!! Today we remember the legendary run of St. Marvin Heemeyer and the Killdozer. May the reign of tyrants break at the wrath of reasonable people. Caffeinate, hydrate, and pour one out for this hero today. LFG!!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 month
@QuedBri God always wins. God bless you Bri 😊🙏🏼
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
Apparently pointing out that a healthcare professional can’t refuse care for arbitrary reasons is enough to get blocked by this soft ass. Scalp collected. 😂🖕🏼🖕🏼
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
Have fun with the lawsuits jackass.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Pre-employment fit testing tomorrow and I have to shave my beard…NOT HAPPY.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Sounds like someone needs to meet a good friend of mine: the woodchipper.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
11 months
Update time: Dad had a setback last week and was moved back to the regular hospital. It’s been a week of that. Saw him today and his spirits are good, if not annoyed by the initial setback. Brought him homemade chili and he’s almost his old self. Nurses also say he’s doing well
@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
11 months
To any and all concerned: I’ve taken some time away from Twitter to tend to pressing family matters IRL. Anyone of you who are the praying type, I could use your prayers for my father as he undergoes the latest challenge that has been put in front of him. I appreciate you all.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Did not see 2024 as that much of a target rich environment. But God can’t do all the work.
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@MailOnline
Daily Mail Online
8 months
Retired Kentucky police officer, David Love, 'raped and sodomised' child under 14 during years of abuse
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
I would so do this if I had kids
@Getthebagcoach
Maybe: Jacoby
8 months
Dawg this is hilarious parenting: awareness is key… go after the most dangerous one then get the weak ones after
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
11 months
On this day, 43 years ago, my parents married. It’s been a heck of a long time but they are best friends and my heroes. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, here’s to 43 more years.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
To the asshole who sold my number to the Nikki Haley campaign: go eat a giant bag of dicks.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 months
If God sees fit to put the future Mrs. Woodchipper in my life, I sure hope she’s prepared for the fullest, most heartfelt love and adoration that I’m going to heap on her.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Now we wait for it to cool
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Your boy is baking 😋
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 3.0: things are moving quickly this morning. Interventionist moved up mom’s cath procedure to 1100. They’re unsure how long it will take but she should be done and resting by early afternoon. A quick shower and I’ll be collecting dad and heading to the hospital.
@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 2.0: Mom is stable. Third test blood test at 0400 showed trops trending up. Morphine to control her pain and her BP is back to normal. Cards hasn’t seen her yet, but her PCP has. EKG later this AM, possible cath this afternoon. I will keep you all updated.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
7 months
GM friends. Can we go back to hating the government now? Coffee up and drink lots of water. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
So, I’m pretty sure I just prevented my car from being stolen.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! Monday has arrived and it’s time to start the week strong. Coffee, water, and LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 years
@CWBChicago The old school punishment for horse thieves should apply to car thieves, carjackers, and catalytic converters thieves.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
It’s all just so tiresome, sometimes.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
2 months
I spent all day with all of my nieces and nephews. My body is broken from all of the chasing and games, but I am supreme. The littles in my family are precious. So precious that I’d raze the world to ash if ever they were to be harmed. Imagine what I’d do for my own children.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! It’s Friday and the weekend had finally arrived. Hydrate and caffeinate and let’s get this show on the road. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 days
Being single is wild. I’m inside reading a book at just after 9 in the Friday of a 3-day weekend. Lmao
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Chili Mac for dinner 😋🤤
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Update 2.0: Mom is stable. Third test blood test at 0400 showed trops trending up. Morphine to control her pain and her BP is back to normal. Cards hasn’t seen her yet, but her PCP has. EKG later this AM, possible cath this afternoon. I will keep you all updated.
@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Mom update: she was admitted for crushing chest pain. Her first blood work had elevated trops. She’s been moved to a room. Her trops are now higher than the time before. No new updates as of yet. I’ll know more in an hour. Thank you to everyone who’s reached out. I ❤️ you all
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
What I'm wearing to the civil war. What are you wearing?
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@TotalEBardbaric
Bardbaric Baroness
6 months
What I'm wearing to the civil war. What are you wearing?
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
10 months
GM friends, happy Halloween. Get your coffee and I hope your day is more treat than trick. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Good morning friends! It’s Wednesday and we’ve arrived at the halfway point. Caffeinate and hydrate per SOP. Don’t forget to be actively anti communist today. LFG!
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
That I don’t have a homestead yet with a berm to use as my range.
@sigsauerinc
SIG SAUER
5 months
What's your biggest pet peeve about public ranges?
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
@Tazerface16 Thousands of white dudes with rifles 247 years ago gave you the ability to run your mouth recklessly. Remember, shutting the fuck up was an option you could have exercised.
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Your boy is baking 😋
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Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
I did a thing
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
GM my frens. It’s Wednesday.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! It’s the Lord’s day and it’s range day. Caffeinate and hydrate per SOP. LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
3 months
The rain broke enough while I was on my drive to lend this beautiful sight to my eyes.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
No family gathering is complete without the ritualistic slaughter of the siblings’ kids. The foam sword put in work today.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! Happy Friday Eve! Drink your coffee and don’t forget to drink all of your water. Have a great day and LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Good morning friends. Caffeinate, hydrate, and crush it today. LFG.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Good morning friends! It’s hump day and the weekend is on the horizon. Coffee and water per SOP. Be good to each other and let’s make the most of today. LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
Imagine being a grown man and not having a knife with you at all times.
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@RobProvince
EducatëdHillbilly™
8 months
Imagine being a grown man and not having a knife with you at all times.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
9 months
Fuck you. No.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
I’ve come to the realization that most of my thoughts are not for public consumption…thus I will poast more
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
10 months
GM friends. It’s Tuesday and today serves as your reminder that government is evil. Coffee up and LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
4 months
Good morning friends. It’s Friday Eve. Caffeinate and hydrate per SOP. Hold close those you hold dear and conquer the day. LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! It’s Tuesday and another opportunity to speak truth to evil. Caffeinate and hydrate as usual. Have a great day and LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
8 months
While you’re mesmerized by the border dispute. Your government continues to remove your rights. Pay attention to the minutia and act accordingly.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
My dad celebrated his 74th birthday today. Another year that I got to spend with my hero.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 month
A Friday night in the life of a single dude: sitting in a near empty laundromat waiting for the drier cycle to finish while eating Chinese takeout.
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 month
A break from this place sounds better and better as the days goes by
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
6 months
Good morning friends! The weekend is here! Caffeinate and hydrate are SOP. Drag your politicians, bootlickers and the SA enablers. LFG!
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
1 year
@NelsenTimothy I’m so sorry sir. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Eternal rest grant unto her O, Lord, and May perpetual Light shine upon her. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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@dreadfurysong
Darth Woodchipper 🏴‍☠️🛢️🪶
5 months
Good morning friends!! It’s Friday Eve and we’re almost to the finish line. Drink the coffee and water, crush the day, and don’t forget to touch grass. LFG!
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