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(doctor) Alex Grease Profile
(doctor) Alex Grease

@dodgonkulator

2,820
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872
Following
2,030
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25,747
Statuses

SUCK SMEAR GUNK HEAVE, PhD.

lost angeles
Joined November 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
people act kinda weird on here huh
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
why do they still even make porn it's been done to death. "ohh what's gonna happen in this one" take a wild fucking guess. idiot
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
7 months
doctor: are you sexually active? me: no I usually just lie there 😜🤙 doctor (writing in my chart): effortlessly witty....and quite beautiful, I might add
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
this is every mushroom foraging guide
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
i wiped out tomato town. all 10 of them
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
whoa dude you're in a twitter group chat called "the boys"? that's awesome. and you say "cum" and "gay" a lot? and workshop each other's tweets? wait dude you also get in huge fights with strangers because they're "woke" in a way that annoys you? fuck yeah bro. happy 31st btw
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
Dude. Did you seriously just abandon me at the outskirts of the grazing area? You KNOW that I'm at increased risk of predation as one of the weaker + sicklier members of the herd.
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(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
7 months
(learning the rules of blackjack for the first time) so you're just trying not to bust? ohhhh ok yeah I have played games like this before
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
Don Jr faking a positive result so people think he got to spend time with his dad
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 months
Hannibal Lecter actually contributed very little to the buffalo bill investigation if we're being perfectly honest
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
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@VP
Vice President Kamala Harris
4 years
Get vaccinated. Save lives.
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
i like how elon musk wasn't even particularly socially conservative until recently he was just susceptible to alt-right messaging in the exact same way as a 14 year old gamer
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
1 year
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@jupitersembrace
morningstar ✭
1 year
This pic got me crying cause why was he doing her like this?????
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 months
i'm showing you an older comedy movie that i spoke highly of and whenever there's a joke that hasn't aged well i turn to you and say I Condone This.
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
1 year
most unrealistic part of breaking bad was that Gale was a self identified libertarian but when the police searched his hard drive all they found was videos of him being goofy
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
8 months
this is a pretty good feature for a car to have
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
he is literally gob bluth
@RonFilipkowski
Ron Filipkowski
2 years
Junior: “Remember when Trump visited Afghanistan on Thanksgiving? I do, because I showed up for Thanksgiving dinner and my father wasn’t there.”
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 months
my new band We Steal Microphones And XLR Cables is struggling to book local shows for some reason
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
beatles rock band should have let you create a custom character and started with a cutscene where brian epstein says ah! you must be the new member of the band. i'll bring the lads round for introductions but first, i'm going to show you 'ow to save your game progress
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
you dont have to watch movies if you dont like them
@zoerosebryant
zoë rose bryant
2 years
Okay Film Twitter, what critical darling had you like this
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
1 year
me: hey man would you mind emailing that to me? if it's not too much trouble my cyberpunk friend: No promises muchacho. They got a layer of ice on this node so thick even my primo subroutines can't chew through it. Unless....
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(doctor) Alex Grease
5 months
back in the 70s you could "get involved in the music scene" and within a month or so you'd be watching the sunrise in joni mitchell's backyard. these days you have to settle for pretending to be internet friends with a few guys who at any point could have some allegations emerge
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 months
sound off in the replies 👇
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
(at subway) my wife: can i get a 6" hot italian me: yeah you sure can 😏 (unzipping pants) my small sexy friend Enzo who was hiding in my pants: 🙋‍♂️ my wife: Ciao Enzo ! subway worker: 😒and do you want that toasted Enzo: Ah of course! (holding up thimble of wine) Abbondanza
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 months
(when other people are hungry and I just ate) jesus christ get ahold of yourself. it's really not that serious (when I'm hungry and no one else wants to get food) I don't think you guys understand the severity of the issue at hand.
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 months
hey man is there an in-universe justification for your behavior?
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@redditships i like that he goes out of his way to mention that his son is a real stud with a rockin bod who lays mad pipe all around town
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
i like how the indiana jones origin story establishes that his whole vibe really just came from imprinting on this random guy to a frankly alarming degree
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
1 year
pitchfork should have a weekly "punching down" feature where they just eviscerate some kid's terrible bandcamp album
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
john: welcome to the beatles mate. now, pick up your rock band(R) guitar controller and try playing the notes you see on your screen
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 months
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@Chase_Hend @InsaneMistress Drusilla pussy just hit different
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
7 months
do you know of any evil bars in town? yeah that's what I said. you know like, where do the bad guys hang out around here
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
@himbodotgov @JaneOst_ They owe me royalties
@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
I'm such a big harry potter fan that I got a lightning bolt tattoo and then because I'm an even bigger fan than most I got a second one right next to it
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@fellawhomstdve The sideways woman on the poster is a nice touch
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
kyle rittenhouse is the type of mf to tuck a big checkered napkin into his shirt collar and hold up a knife and fork vertically while he waits for someone to put down a whole rotisserie chicken in front of him
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
acab includes sam shakusky
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
guy who always describes things as "lynchian" but the only david lynch movie he's seen is Dune
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
hidden reply
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
donaldtrumpjr 8h Hello patriots Unfortunately I have tested positive for covid after spending the day with my dad, our great President. We tossed the ball around and shared an ice cream cone, and he must have infected me when he leaned in close and said "I love you, son." #MAGA
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
@ohwormongod @LASERGIANT1 I hope you're happy asshole I just saw some unmistakable sudden movement out of my peripheral vision and you've SEEN how ineffective I am at evasive maneuvers.
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
all the really odd women and gay men on here seem to have access to an alternate version of family guy that's really low-res and every episode is about various characters putting on minxy outfits
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
also let's appreciate for a second that the image URL looks a bit like it says "ROBOTOMIZE" which would be a very cool name for a sci-fi inspired thrash band
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
my friend just got downed! i revived him now we're heading southbound
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
6 months
@richard_normal He has no right to be as charismatic as he is
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
It's interesting how Bernie was TOTALLY that guy you dated in college but Biden was never, for instance, the creepy boss who got away with unwelcome touching because he was well-respected
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(doctor) Alex Grease
1 year
hey man-- I couldn't help but notice you opening up a bit and letting some quirks of your personality through in a genuine way and I just wanted to ask if you could kind of tone that down
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
@HelloCullen @MaraWilson Sleepovers are the first time you experience being fully out of your element in a way you can comprehend
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@limeboiler this is a vaas cutscene from far cry 3
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@GemOfAmara (after reading slaughterhouse five) wow that was a freaking grimdark ending. that was some heckin edgy sh*t. this was like...some kind of 18+ darkfic and NOT wholesome
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 months
I've been working on this huge bottle of conditioner since college and it's gotten to the point where I don't even use the cap anymore I just stick my finger into the jagged hole in the side and scoop some out
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
@sablaah if the hardcore band's guitarist looks like this you're about to die in that pit
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@venturecommunis @Speediest_Sloth Implication here seems to be that the cops are so dumb they'll eat anything that looks somewhat like food. I like to think they kept going after realizing it was concrete
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
@rhinosoros me when my buddy buys a mall and asks if i want to spend 10-15 hours a week de-icing the parking lot
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(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@PEWilliams_ this was already inspiring violence but the way she says "tiktok" at the end pushes me over the edge into chimp warrior mode
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 months
if I was a cashier at trader joe's every time I took an item out of the cart I would be saying things like "what is this" "what the hell is this" "are you really going to eat this" etc
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
I'm such a big harry potter fan that I got a lightning bolt tattoo and then because I'm an even bigger fan than most I got a second one right next to it
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@kiwehhh he's something of a multitasker
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@on_da_spectrum also if you were listening to good enough music you would have no reason to have sex during it
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(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@abernothing everything tame impala has been trying to achieve in the last 5 years was already accomplished in Electric Feel
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@blobhoskins something a little off about saying they specifically want a POC roommate when they're both white
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@The_Law_Boy The Help was already primarily from that perspective
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
@NewSovietPoster even more fascinating than the man with tiny feet situation is the implication that people wear different size shoes than usual for luck
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
10 months
staple food chat dailybread55: been on a huge barley kick lately 🔥5 ❤️2 GranaryKing: 🖼️ all stocked up on rice and beans for the winter! 😲3 🔥3 inthepot9daysold: damn. jealous delicacy_fan: sea scallops tonight..a rare treat indeed!! 😋 👎13 GranaryKing: just fuck off dude
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
Watching the Simpsons with a girl I just started dating and trying to impress her by loudly stating the name of the voice actor whenever a new character starts talking
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(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
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(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
@ActAndRead @yourtweetingson In the last episode the kids have to team up to fight a young Bernie Sanders
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
will arnett you don't appear to have a taggable twitter account but if you see this. you could get insane money replicating this exact video on SNL
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
10 months
@tonyhawktruther I'mb telling my kids this was the 2 genders!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
6 months
@dogfightin2 i would guess it's 100% motivated by having very publicly fallen for a past one
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(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@RachelMComedy my mom once came to my band's show and handed me a "please donate money to us" letter from my university right as i was about to go on stage
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@thischarmingham this is what the damn media is keeping from us
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(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@JordanUhl it's messed up how a) they really think this is a "beautiful tribute" or whatever and b) kate mackinnon has not evolved her idea of an impression beyond making her eyes real big and doing this face
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(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
They got dude shampoo now that looks like a bottle of whiskey
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(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
@redditships that reply adds a full on m night shyamalan twist
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
1960s pop song: I'm going to the Mystery Man, to buy a sack of Dreams the audience: OHHHH FUCK he's talking about (whispering) wheeed 2010s pop song: used to do percs (yuh) when i was 15 (yuh) now i'm too old for that shit (woohoo) audience: this kid sounds lowkey gay 🤣
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
@GeraldFordVEVO Hell yeah as long as there's no freakin broads there
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
@Hunty_dumpty_ taylor swift's weird meltdown when katy perry hired her backup dancers
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
Going to start talking like a college freshman on tumblr and use phrases like "extreme chaotic energy" to describe going to IHOP at 10 pm on a Saturday
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
@ohwormongod @LASERGIANT1 [sounds of being felled and torn apart]
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@mattxiv my stomach 30 min after i finish the extra spicy bean burrito
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(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
to all the geniuses in the replies: i know the vaccine is free!!! the point is that they botched the rollout and barely anyone is able to actually get it so her line rings pretty hollow!! i want the vaccine too and i'm not trying to discourage anyone!!! also my post is from april
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
28 days
this was her howard dean scream
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
5 years
Why would I listen to new Grimes when I could just put on 2 chvrches songs at the same time and then ask a 3 year old to explain robots to me
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
it would be so cool if grimes was still dating musk she'd be on here saying some shit like Listen 👁️ kno you all are afraid for the future. but E told me he's adding a feature where bots can feel sexual pleasure through the blockchain and the concept art is beautiful. ~c
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 months
@licensedt0ill (between every song) WE ARE FUCKING TAKING THIS SHIT HOME WITH US AFTER!!!!!!!
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
7 months
Hey man can I ask a sexual favor real quick?
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@douzmanian it's cool that every city gets to exist as a zero-consequences playground for tech millionaires now
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
7 months
(a lot louder/more effeminate than I had intended) MY TINCTURES!!!
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(doctor) Alex Grease
3 months
@pattymo Elon perked up as soon as he saw "13 year old"
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
@steinkobbe "hey baby I run a pickup artist Twitter account called The Psychopathic Edge so do you want to bang now or in 10 minutes?"
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
i just watched this episode yesterday and this isnt even remotely the energy he's giving off in this scene. i think you fellas have a weird desire for every piece of media to be about a guy turning into the joker due to society
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
sci fi author: if they made a robot that was exactly like a person 🤔 would you be nice to it?? 🤔 me: sure i guess but i dont think there's any particular reason for that to happen sci fi author: ok you don't seem to fucking get it dude. we're talking. EXACTLY like a person
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(doctor) Alex Grease
2 years
me: ok yeah you can make some refried beans but you HAVE to be chill about it. if my weird german neighbor hears you he's going to make you share the girl i brought over: Haha you're so funny (opening can) voice from outside the window: Oh! Das ist eine Biens?
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(doctor) Alex Grease
4 years
@NightlifeMingus my theory is that it's mainly the 35+ crowd having an unconscious knee jerk reaction to new music they don't know about, just from pure biological instinct
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@dodgonkulator
(doctor) Alex Grease
7 months
(guy who works on the space station with mostly aliens) coworker music is stuff like Spouououou, ĝ§ųþ, ■■■■■, all that goopcore that was big in the '6--5s,
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(doctor) Alex Grease
3 years
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@PAAUNOW
PAAU
3 years
We are the Progressive Anti-Abortion Uprising! #Prolife #AntiAbortion
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(doctor) Alex Grease
4 months
[getting on twitter and seeing many depressing posts about all of your miserable lives] i guess i'm actually doing better than a lot of people [getting on instagram and seeing posts from people i knew in college who are having constant fun] i guess i am somehwere in the middle,
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