dirrhope @dirrhope Twitter profile

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dirrhope

26 days

periodic reminder that my twitter account is technically a performance art piece a performance art where i perform myself, as authentically as possible, minus my autistic masking

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

6 months

i've been learning how to use Canva, lmao

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

instead of discussing kink at pride let's discuss masks at pride because there is still a SARS pandemic and we need a united front against eugenics and fascism pride shouldn't be yet another superspreader that will kill and disable more people!

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

i think one of the biggest problems we're facing is this nihilism: "i don't care what happens to me / life is already over / i can't do anything about it / the problem is too big" people have just accepted that the worst is inevitable and it's easier to give up

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

my whole life is a performance art piece now i go out in public in an N95 and all of sudden i remind everyone around me about the pandemic they are trying soooooooooooo hard to forget it's really funny

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

5 months

my mom is dying because of SARS/COVID she finally believes me now. maybe belief isn't the right word. i think she believed me before but got angry bc she didn't want it to be true. now it's all caught up to her and i'm just so sad

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

9 months

when i read the scientific papers about SARS-CoV-2 i get really, really scared this virus (viruses) and this disease is just so, so much worse than even the more cautious people are telling us the evidence is overwhelming and i keep getting brushed off by the ppl in my life

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

1. the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic is not over 2. SARS-2 transmission is through airborne aerosols 3. vaccines provide limited and waning protection 4. there is no lasting immunity 5. reinfections are common 6. asymptomatic spread is common

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

5 months

people who need care are not leeches. we all need care, actually. you've just spent your whole life trivializing, ignoring, and using the people who care for you

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

13 days

many ppl give up masking or caring about COVID bc they feel despair and see futility in trying. they want to 'live their life' in the time left this is why it's important to normalize masking during 'fun' activities. we have to be able to 'live our lives' with a mask on

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i feel really depressed. everybody in my life thinks i'm crazy for being covid conscious. i have to watch those same people slowly deteriorate due to repeat infections. i was always on the introverted side but i have been isolated for so long it hurts

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

the bit that shits me about *gestures around* all of these problems is that the solution is really simple we already know what the answer is the air and water and wildlife recovered SO FAST when the world shut down in 2020

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

9 months

seriously it really pisses me off that we can't just order our own tests. what would be the harm of having a lab where you can just go in and order your tests? if the worry is that it would overwhelm the lab techs then why can't we do it ourselves??

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i have a friend who used to be very serious about masking/testing but stopped during the great unmaskening of 2022 and she told me she's very hurt that i haven't kept in touch. told her i have LC. she said she never heard of it. i stopped replying

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"everyone will catch it eventually" is probably my least favourite thing people say about COVID bc it's a fucking threat. a promise of harm. it's not reassuring. and it ignores reinfections. everyone will catch it eventually once... and then again and again and again and again

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

brain damage doesn't make someone a fascist just like mental illness doesn't make someone an abuser pathologizing bad behaviour ends up hurting the targets of abuse while letting abusers get away with abuse

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i'm glad i'm on COVID twitter bc i was fully prepared for everything my mom threw at me: "i'm a nurse, i can read journals too!! COVID's endemic now!! i've gotten all the boosters! i need to live my life!!" that was after she told me i had an 'attitude problem'

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

the 'lockdowns' showed a lot of people that their lives are meaningless outside of consumption everything they do is in service of more consumption nothing will ever be enough for consumers. consumers are a bottomless pit of need and they will never be happy

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

7 months

getting sick 8-12 times per year is not normal getting sick 8-12 times per year is not good news i feel dizzy thinking about this. getting sick 8-12 times per year is bad news

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

8 months

i really do not enjoy fixating on covid i wish i could be researching and working on and spend my time thinking about literally anything else but we're all in danger and it's impossible for me to go along with "normal"

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

all this discourse and rationalization about ppl being 'allowed' to do big unmasked gatherings during 'lulls' really shows me that most ppl are completely unprepared for what is coming

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

when the Great Unmaskening and the Back To Normal happened i became a hermit earlier this year i was forced to un-hermit because my mom was dying and i had to drive 1,500 miles to get to her the only way i would risk travel is for life and death situations, so i did

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

they're really going to destroy humanity over restaurants aren't they

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

people who 'need' to gather in big groups unmasked... why do you need to argue with me? you've already won! 99% of people already agree with you! there is literally nothing, and i mean nothing, preventing you from doing so! i guess maybe you know you're doing wrong...

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i feel like i'm surrounded by ppl who live in a sitcom like when the episode ends, all the bad stuff goes away for them, the COVID pandemic is just a bad episode of the sitcom. now it's over (it's not) and all the bad stuff just went away (it didn't)

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i can't sleep at night bc of those sea ice/sea temp charts insects are disappearing in real time half the continent is covered with toxic smoke and your biggest concern is making sure your lifestyle remains unchanged. k.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

21 days

i just spent all day in the car listening to NPR and i am so mad. these liberals and leftists who pretend that the pandemic is over are worse than conservatives. i really believe this.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i just cannot relate to the impulse to just... deny what's going on. to just carry on living my life as if nothing bad is happening. i can't habituate to any of this! i wonder how many fellow covid conscious ppl are horror fans bc it would explain a lot

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

DO NOT DENY ME MY INDOOR MEAL i deserve to be served

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

one of the few things that gives me hope every day in this dystopia, are all of you zero COVID ppl seeing so many of you choosing to do the difficult thing, day after day, caring for yourselves and our communities while facing hostility and grief, brings me so much hope

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

seeing a lot of people bargaining with COVID like the virus fucking cares about your personal risk assessment

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

7. SARS-CoV-2 is a multisystem vascular pathogen 8. every infection causes organ damage 9. organ damage is cumulative and durable 10. at least 1 in 10 infections cause long COVID 11. viral persistence is a mechanism in most long COVID cases

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

the biggest hurdle i keep facing when talking to friends and family IRL about COVID is the fact that it's airborne i don't know how many times i've explained that the virus is in the AIR my mom tells me about her hand washing and sanitizer and i just <sigh>

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

there is no time left for these games and i'm not sorry but i don't care about your 'need' for big unmasked group social events your 'need' for the endless consumption of back to normal and ignoring our collective crises is going to doom us all

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

8 months

the last time i talked to a person IRL about covid was at my vet's office. i asked the receptionist if she knew about the outbreak of respiratory illness in dogs, she said yes. we had a discussion about it and she was engaged. as soon as i said "covid" she went blank

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

our choices do not exist in a vacuum and it's time to stop pretending that they do i'm not going to absolve anyone's guilty conscience, your conscience is none of my business you already know what the right thing to do is. so do it.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

it's really funny bc i used to get harassed a loooooooot in public but now? now i am invisible not even invisible, bc people definitely see me. but they block. me. out. and totally avoid me. they try hard to not see me or acknowledge that they have

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

8 months

MASK UP FOR YOUR CAT

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

9 months

when i was a teen my mom got super jesus-y and started listening to evangelical radio stations. one summer she took me to some of their events. and oh boy, those people *love* israel. but not bc they love jewish people

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"the point of vaccines was so we could return to our lives... without a mask!" liberals are so confidently dangerous. no wonder i've been getting shut out so severely and ignored by the liberals in my life. they don't wanna hear that vaccines aren't enough.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

still fuming about doctors and their hubris they aren't even self-aware enough to realize that them collectively de-masking during an airborne pandemic is an indictment on their own qualifications all those years of medical training and they don't understand basic biology

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

12. there is no evidence that most long COVID cases ever recover 13. viral persistence results in immune exhaustion

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

9 months

"COVID is going to be with us always" only because we allow it. because YOU allow it. yes, institutions must act, but that doesn't excuse YOU. you are still capable of making sure your face holes don't spread virus all over other people #MaskUp

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

7 months

i don't have many friendships anymore bc most people make friendship inaccessible for me

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

a lot of people do not truly love themselves. they are afraid of themselves and despise their weaknesses. so they despise the weaknesses in others. once i learned to dismantle my internalized ableism, i turned into a much much gentler person

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

these are just some of the important points about SARS-CoV-2 (the virus) and COVID (the disease) that the general public is ignorant or in denial of read this paper, it is written clearly and relatively accessible for non-experts

Long COVID: major findings, mechanisms and recommendations

Nature Reviews Microbiology - Long COVID is an often debilitating illness of severe symptoms that can develop during or following COVID-19. In this Review, Davis, McCorkell, Vogel and Topol explore...

www.nature.com

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"i'm NOT an anti-masker!!" she said to me as she demanded i take off my mask lmao 😂🙃🫠

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"I've got that summer sickness going around" #CovidIsntOver

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

my attitude problem? my affect was too flat and i was too low energy! i.e. not autistic masking! (i did not disclose that i know i'm autistic) i told her later that ever since i had COVID there is something wrong with me but she kept dismissing this

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

are you fed up with being left to die in an ongoing airborne pandemic? are you angry at being abandoned by our governments and at everyone not wearing a mask? me too!! so let's do something about it! i'm gonna make a sign and stand in front of parliament and give out N95s!

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i don't have the energy to maintain relationships like this anymore, and a lot of it has to do with some ppl's expectation of being in constant contact or else they get hurt i can't be responsible for your feelings like that

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

and i wonder how much christianity is a factor in this attitude, that the future is a forgone conclusion and it's futile to even imagine something else. the AUTHORITY says it's going to happen, so that means it's a fact, so that means just give up and take it

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

it's like they're erasing me i exist, yet simultaneously, i do not it's very weird

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

art makes us human art is necessary art changes culture

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

5 months

my mom is the only person i will take care of who is facing the consequences of Back To Normal. the rest of y'all who tuned me out to go to Restaurant can all just go to hell. i'll give you some masks lmao but that's about it

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

i keep hearing stories about mask blocs refusing to work with clean air people and i think that is the weirdest thing i've ever heard why aren't you teaming up? working together? do you want to end the pandemic or not?

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

7 months

friends, i've seen that some of you have recently tested positive for SARS. i am sending you virtual hugs and care from afar. it's not your fault, i hope you know that 🧵

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

5 months

she's in her 60s. her mother died in her late 70s bc of heart failure/emphysema due to a lifetime of smoking. my mom said that her mum died too young and that she hoped to live longer

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

scientific literacy is very low among regular people and science communication is very bad and the media obfuscates the truth, so i don't blame average ppl for falling for COVID disinformation but doctors? they have no excuse

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

7 months

'covid conscious' people please stop using AI art challenge

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

i strongly believe that giving up culture and art spaces is wrong. i want to reclaim culture and art. my artistic work cannot proceed unless i root myself into my environment. i can't just make zero-covid art, i have to create the zero-covid art SPACE

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

i am starting to see the value in being the lone masked person (N95 or elastomeric) in the room i know that my risk level has increased simply bc the volume of things i have to do outside the house has increased. and these are not frivolous things.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 month

i feel like i'm going insane because of the attacks on Nukit Nukit has been SO GENEROUS with donations of their devices and also by selling them at cost. and somehow it's 'violent' for Nukit to respond to attempts to shut their business down?!?!?!? WORDS MEAN THINGS

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"that's not because of COVID!" she said when i described my PEM symptoms, heartrate issues, shortness of breath, panic attacks, and new food intolerances, "it's because you're not getting out of your apt! you need more sun!"

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

9 months

"because of money" no it's not just because of money. money is the excuse, not the reason. the reason is that medicine is gatekept so that only the right kind of people can receive care and medicine and tests and answers

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

5 months

now my mom is suddenly full of cancer. FULL of cancer. it's EVERYWHERE. i even predicted this down to the month. i knew that i would get a phone call in november telling me she was full of cancer. well, that phone call didn't come til january but her Sx started in nov

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

5 months

i'm heartbroken of course. i don't want to lose my mom so young. even if she went Back To Normal. i still love her and don't want her to go 😭

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

we already know what the answer is to the climate crisis and it's not more tech or more innovation or more schemes to offset carbon or more studies or more agreements we have to stop. slow down. take care of each other.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"i'm a nurse and i can read journals too!" so i asked her which journals she was reading and she had no answer. "COVID is endemic now and i'm fully protected!" i asked her what evidence she had for that and she had no answer, only "I HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE"

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

10 months

it still shocks me to the core to realize that a huge part of this anti-public health is because parents hate their autistic children SO MUCH they would rather them die of preventable illness rather than get a vaccine

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

sorry not sorry but if you say you've never had covid AND that you never mask then u are a clown lmaooo

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

every day i got more and more disappointed that she has turned out to be exactly the stereotype of a back-to-normal blue MAGA healthcare provider it was honestly surreal. i was dissociating the whole week.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

it's still a struggle with internalized ableism. it's been ingrained since birth. to hate myself and my weaknesses. to be happy only with perfection. but the more i untangle that, the more i accept and love myself just as i am, the more i love life and being alive

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i told her that she knows i used to be a serious athlete and i KNOW what my heart is supposed to feel like and ever since i had COVID it is WRONG "but the ECG is normal! are you sure it's not perimenopause?? it's hormonal!"

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

7 months

using AI art destroys the planet

Jeff Gilchrist

@jeffgilchrist

8 months

Why can you still smell things wearing an effective mask? You can smell nasty things like smoke and rotten eggs even with fit tested #N95 respirators which block tiny viruses/bacteria because the smell molecules have atomic masses that are 17 million times less than a virus.🧵1/

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"that's not because of COVID! YOU'RE JUST DEPRESSED. you need an anti-depressant! or something to just take the edge off!" and i asked if she really thinks that depression CAUSES heartrate irregularities, PEM, food intolerances, and shortness of breath

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

10 months

my mom complained to me that my brother (who lives with her) doesn't do any chores or cleaning i reminded her that she never expected him to do anything while we were kids, yet i was cooking family dinners, doing laundry, and cleaning bathrooms since 8 years old 🤦

Roe 🏳️‍⚧️

@RoeGraceM

10 months

Ngl seeing how a lot of cishet women raise their sons has made my thoughts about “weaponized incompetence” much more… complex. A remarkable amount of women will complain about their husband not doing laundry and then do their sons laundry until the day he moves out.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

i'm exasperated by the discourse on covid twitter because i have been keeping max protections until forced by circumstances and now that i have been forced, i realize that i do not want to re-hermit myself entirely

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

"that's not because of COVID! you just have a vitamin deficiency!" so i said okay i am willing to try vitamin supplements, i will try that so she showed me which ones to buy

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i refuse to accept mass death and disability i refuse to allow the most powerful to be #DavosSafe while leaving the rest of us to rot i will do whatever i can to warn people silence = murder and i will not be silent #CovidIsNotOver

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i am pushing myself so hard to be as present as i can and i was open with you that i don't feel well and you think i'm just making excuses. then she was like, oh well i didn't realise! you should have told me! and i was like, i did! and you said i had a bad attitude!

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

the solutions are simple but not easy bc the power structure insists that we can only make changes via institutions... voting, elections, legislation, etc. all of those things are social constructs to make sure that powerful ppl can always refuse

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

in re: shortness of breath: "that's not because of COVID! that's because your CO2 is being depleted from wearing that mask!" i explained that normally i do not wear the mask 24/7 and i still have the SOB so then it turned into:

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

time is meaningless to me and i really struggle with the passage of time. my adhd/autism combo means that if something is not in my direct line of attention, it doesn't exist. that's not a slight on the other person, it's just my disability

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i don't want to be productive when i know that productivity is killing all life on earth a dr may dx me with depression but this anhedonia is not solely coming from within i am connected to the rest of the planet and the planet is telling us to STOP

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

so i had told her about all these symptoms on the first day, and then on the last day she was here she got SUPER ANGRY with me for being so standoffish and not putting in enough effort and i was like, everything i am doing is taking 100% effort and it's not good enough for you

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

8 months

btw to all my followers who may not know, you are free to use my COVID art however you like! share it, download it, post it elsewhere, turn it into stickers or posters or whatever! no attribution necessary 🥰 it makes me so happy to see other people using them!!!

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

she was angry that i didn't take off my respirator, she was angry that i wasn't 'laughing and smiling and being happy', she was angry that i questioned her lack of safety protocols, she was angry that i didn't already take care of my health problems (depression lmao)

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

and now that i'm here, and now that she died i have to do a lot of things outside the house. so much administrative work. i'm forced by necessity to not be a hermit it was really, really, really hard at first

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

8 months

so you take your mask off when you lecture? and you're confused about why your students aren't masking up?

Colin Furness MISt PhD MPH

@FurnessColin

8 months

If air quality is excellent, there's less disease circulating; both mean less need to mask. The large rooms I teach in have great air so I can lecture "au naturel" (b/c nobody is near me - but mask is always on before, after, & during break). That's a safe normal. 18/20

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

blaming lack of empathy on brain damage from COVID is similar to blaming abuse on mental illness or NPD being a jerk isn't a medical condition and saying that brain damage or NPD is the REASON for abuse exculpates abusers and pathologizes mentally ill ppl

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

2 months

my mom was very very frustrated with me because i refused to travel to 'visit' because the risk was too high and i couldn't justify it before i don't regret having the level of vigilance that i had. i really don't.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

9 months

if you want to do something to help but you feel hopeless or don't know what to do you can easily/quickly make stickers from a blank sheet of labels and a sharpie. write a message on it, then stick them up in public where ppl will see it

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

8 months

sometimes when i talk about how media erases COVID but talks about flu ppl say this: "but what about influenza? isn't it worth talking about that too?" yes. yes it is. prior to the SARS pandemic i reminded ppl to get flu shots and beg them to take it seriously

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

telling an immunocompromised person who is taking strict precautions that "everyone will get it eventually" when they are concerned about a member of their household testing positive is EUGENIC. it is a monstrous thing to say. appalling.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

7 months

how can you tell that people are on drugs??? i keep seeing ppl tweeting about how so and so is on xanax or adderall and i'm like... how can you tell??? do you know for sure or are you guessing??

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

and she said that basically YES IT DOES and that everything i say i'm feeling is psychosomatic because my ECG is normal!!!! my basic bloodwork is normal!!! and so if the ECG says my heart is fine then IT MUST BE IN MY HEAD

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

4 months

i think when you hate yourself for who you are, it's so much easier to love death and look forward to dying. being alive is the hard part. death is easy. especially the deaths of others. the weak people.

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dirrhope

@dirrhope

1 year

i LOVE wearing a mask because it allows me to UNMASK constantly monitoring my facial expressions to perform for people is a massive waste of my energy as an autistic person wearing a mask is freeing! it is accessibility! i will NEVER stop

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