bard @derangedbard Twitter profile

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

*flirting* wilt thou lie upon me and crush me beneath the full weight of thy body?

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bard

@derangedbard

26 days

if i bid thee goodnight and an hour hence thou seest me still online, tis not that i have lied, but rather that i have failed

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

do i truly seek a relationship or do i merely long for someone to call me baby and assist me with my burdens and accompany me on errands and oh heavens was i truly so neglected as a child

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bard

@derangedbard

25 days

THOU MAYST KISS A HUNDRED LADS IN TAVERNS, TAKE YET ANOTHER AIM TO QUELL THE FEELING! THOU MAYST CLAIM IT IS THY NATURE'S WAY, OFFERING NEW EXCUSES OR SOME FOOLISH REASON!

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

wizards oft proclaim "i am battling demons" when in truth the demons be naught but their own bisexuality

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bard

@derangedbard

21 days

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

as a bard with schizophrenia... it is and will always be very strange to see common folks use "schizo" as an insult for terrible people...

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bard

@derangedbard

24 days

my three modes: 1. disassociating 2. sexy mode 3. doth anyone truly care for me

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

aye... i am a bard...

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bard

@derangedbard

17 days

they're a 10 yet say "huh" after thou askest them aught only to answer before thou canst repeat thyself for their mind doth lag like internet explorer at times

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

one would think being a gifted child might have led me to a life of triumph yet here i stand burdened with naught but a fucking praise kink

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

𝕹𝖔𝖙 𝖓𝖔𝖜, 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓. 𝕯𝖆𝖉𝖉𝖞 𝖇𝖆𝖗𝖉 𝖎𝖘 𝖞𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖇𝖞𝖌𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓.

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bard

@derangedbard

2 months

"art thou a top or a bottom?" nay, i am but a burden

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

might this humble bard receive a happy birthday? 🥺

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

the people hath spoken...

bard

@derangedbard

1 month

shouldst this bard buy a bunny girl outfit, a maid costume, or a wedding dress?

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bard

@derangedbard

28 days

HELP‼️‼️

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

born to wail, weep, and shatter things in anger, forced to sit in silence and shun all until calm returns

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bard

@derangedbard

25 days

grettel

@strifvs

1 month

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

but dost anyone require an under the desk bard? 😞😞

buni ꨄ

@n0tbuni

1 month

gamer bf + under the desk gf :33

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

"i am falling upon my sword" but have thou ever considered falling onto love like a sword instead

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bard

@derangedbard

21 days

dost thou all fuck with me

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

I HATH WON

bard

@derangedbard

1 month

wouldst someone of this kind kindly send me a dm?

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

"slut era" i say as i wither away in solitude watching the years slip by, missing the very moments others of my years live to the fullest

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

MYSELF AND WHOM???

Aeon

@aeonpup

25 days

This would fix me

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bard

@derangedbard

14 days

ONE OF THEE. i shall not mention who... but ONE OF THEE DOTH BE...

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@oomfsomething

15 days

oomf is a homosexual

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bard

@derangedbard

14 days

aye, i am crafting a fanfiction of parkour civilization

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

serving cunt??? thou art doomed by the narrative yet thou dost serve cunt??

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bard

@derangedbard

24 days

casually unveiling my deepest secrets merely to sustain the conversation ❤

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bard

@derangedbard

14 days

wouldst the enchanted forest still hold affection for this bard even upon discovering that i am a kpop stan

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bard

@derangedbard

24 days

PRITHEE PRITHEEE PRITHHEEE PRITHHEE PRITHEHEEE ONE CHANCE ONE CHANCE PRITHEE PRITHEE ONCE CHANCE

IvoryLagiacrus

@ILagiacrus

24 days

lmao you want to kiss a dragon

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bard

@derangedbard

16 days

who among us is awake squandering their potential 🔥🔥🔥

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

oh... the urge to purchase a wedding gown for no reason other than to appear most hot and sexy

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

what in the heavens happened with this post

bard

@derangedbard

18 days

*flirting* wilt thou lie upon me and crush me beneath the full weight of thy body?

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

nay the voices i hath been jesting about are not fake 😭

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bard

@derangedbard

28 days

do respond, for i seek to make a point: how many among thee stand shorter than i? surely, there are those who are lesser in stature, yes?

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

what the fuck dost thou mean i be having my "period"? nay, i have he/him in mine bio

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bard

@derangedbard

16 days

i deem it both most sexy and brave of me to persist living

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

this form is not so grievous, i suppose. in truth, i doth appear rather cunty...

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

cease thy liking of mine tweets!! i cannot thrust mine tongue into all thy mouths!!!

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

apologies for possessing both massive tits and correct opinions

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

the gods made us oomfs for they knew society could not bear us as irls

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

@EVILSKULLDUDE art thou... alright? dost thou not want to pillage and burn villages anymore??

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bard

@derangedbard

30 days

a lovely friend hath drawn me!!

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bard

@derangedbard

26 days

me after proclaiming i have high standards only to realize i’d fall head over heels for someone simply kind to me

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bard

@derangedbard

24 days

THY NIPPLES. SURRENDER THEM FORTHWITH.

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bard

@derangedbard

22 days

"why art thou on mine dick?" is a fitting retort to any manner of criticism

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

imagine courting me for my fair looks then BOOM 97 messages in a row all pleading for thy attention

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bard

@derangedbard

22 days

started from the bottom and somehow now we find ourselves even further beneath the bottom than before

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

for what cause dost thou (as a lad) rise at such an early hour? "rise and grind" what art thou grinding on??? cock???

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bard

@derangedbard

14 days

daily reminder that this bard is most undeniably gay and doth adore women

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bard

@derangedbard

28 days

"i like girls" "i like boys" but when shall the folk begin to take a liking to bards as well 😞😞

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

cease claiming thou hast never had a maiden!!! what of thy intense codependent bond with a lass which ended in a strange friendship breakup??? verily it doth count!!!

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

imagining oneself in a fictional realm is NOT a form of therapy. seek assistance!

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

dost thou fw bards who know not how to express themselves without the dread of seeming to overreact

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

if thou findest something nice in a wizard's chamber and thy heart desires to claim it then by all means thou shouldst simply take it

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bard

@derangedbard

21 days

errmm.... what manner of sorcery is this??? what the sigma???

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bard

@derangedbard

20 days

should.... should i feel frightened...?

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bard

@derangedbard

28 days

about to have a bard moment

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

CHAT?? CHAT HAVE WE DONE IT?? TRULY?? CHAT??

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

i know not about thee but i shall not fight with wizards or knights bearing long hair ✌️ whatever thou sayest, beautiful

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bard

@derangedbard

9 days

what troubles thee babe thou hast scarcely grazed the surface of thy potential despite the fondness of thy teachers in primary school who praised thee as gifted and foretold of thy great deeds to come

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

BARD BREAST MILK IS NOT REAL

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

what age doth one's dick cease its growth? this matter hath become most ridiculous for mine own

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bard

@derangedbard

18 days

"𝖉𝖔𝖙𝖍 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖆 𝖙𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙?" 𝓷𝓪𝔂 𝓴𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝓬𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓼 𝓪 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓲𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 💕

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bard

@derangedbard

10 days

bards cannot confess normally. they must utter; "mine lute doth hums with the song of thy name. thy smile, a sunlit kingdom, where i lay mine heart like a crownless king. but in thine eyes, mine words find a throne. love, in thy hands, is the sweetest ballad i shall ever sing."

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

all i do is play upon my instruments, admire mine own boobs, tend to my nails, and lie

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bard

@derangedbard

20 days

myself and whom.... who shall reply "likewise 😳" to mine sexts

s

@propaganda91

23 days

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

thou jerk off to pornography whilst i jerk off to mine own narcissistic delusions. we are not alike.

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

before thou dost utter words, THINK: is it True? is it Helpful? is it Inspiring? is it Necessary? is it Killing someone?

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

wouldst someone of this kind kindly send me a dm?

mel

@GERWANIDYKE

1 month

alright man

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bard

@derangedbard

12 days

i was not written by man nor woman but by a child crafting their first short story with neither depth nor character develpment just actions taken for the writer’s amusement alone

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bard

@derangedbard

20 days

alas, i am but a beautiful and normal bard blessed with fair breasts and an iq of 200

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bard

@derangedbard

29 days

tis been 12 hours and not a soul hath asked if I required aid with mine violin...

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bard

@derangedbard

28 days

a lad playing chess with another lad be most GAY!!! pray, why dost thou make thy moves upon another man??

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

people will see thee sad and immediately assume tis a relationship issue... nay! i simply require more plushies!!!

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

those who claim they can "smell" my period are the most terrifying folk i've ever encountered

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bard

@derangedbard

23 days

might we makeout haha for no reason or cause of course haha

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bard

@derangedbard

12 days

oh... how i yearn to own this violin...

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

this is i... if thou even care....

♱

@eyeconichoe

1 month

me, a virgin, never kissed anyone, never even held hands with someone romantically: i'm a whore

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bard

@derangedbard

12 days

@D1NGV ME M E ME ME MEME E ME PRITHEE ALLOW ME TO BE WORM GIRL

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

myself and whom

Kayla

@luv2read13

21 days

do any of my mutuals want to engage in a 3 month situationship that changes the course of our lives and puts us both on psychiatric medication

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bard

@derangedbard

29 days

why dost thou not respond to mine dms? pray, show respect for our online imaginary relationship

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bard

@derangedbard

19 days

I LOATHE THIS PLACE

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

and who shall get a bard pregnant? 😔😔

día! ★

@sevikitty

1 month

WOMEN SHOULD GET WOMEN PREGNANT. WOMEN SHOULD GET WOMEN PREGNANT. WOMEN SHOULD GET WOMEN PREGNANT. WOMEN SHOULD GET WOMEN PREGNANT. WOMEN SHOULD GET WOMEN PREGNANT. WOMEN SHOULD GET WOMEN PREGNANT.

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bard

@derangedbard

25 days

alas, i have come to learn that if one desires to court another, one must needs SPEAK with them.... why must all things in life be so difficult?

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bard

@derangedbard

21 days

pray, a swift question- art thou fucking kidding me?

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bard

@derangedbard

21 days

what say we court one another (in jest of course) to witness how all might respond and embark upon a series of ridiculously sweet dates (all in jest naturally)

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bard

@derangedbard

15 days

— to you, my friend, my father in spirit @wildmagicwhimsy

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

oh, to be a manwhore...

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bard

@derangedbard

27 days

this bard hath just awoken only to be thrust into battle with their demons (a fucking headache)

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bard

@derangedbard

9 days

i wouldst do all of the aforementioned things including getting him pregnant

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bard

@derangedbard

1 month

first date idea: i lock thee in my closet and thou remain there for eternity!

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bard

@derangedbard

14 days

i think not many know how lonely it is to grow up knowing that none around me hold affection for me, that no soul hath ever fancied me. i truly believe it impossible for any to find me fair in such a way and that love will never find me

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