My new favorite thing is asking my class to share a boring fact about themselves (way too much pressure to share an interesting fact). Today I shared I don’t like mayo on sandwiches. One student puts both socks on before putting on shoes. Another eats a pound of turkey each day.
*driving through five points*
My daughter: the lights look so pretty. I bet that’s why college students like hanging out here
Me: yes, yes that’s exactly why
ladies, if he:
-is hot
-also has a bunch of hot friends
-smells good
-is tall and thin
-makes you feel good
he's not your man, he's a large order of McDonald's fries
It’s Saturday night at Williams Brice stadium. Sandstorm is playing. The air is cool. It’s the 4th quarter. Taking a knee to secure a win over Tennessee. Some guy in the student section has tied all the rally towels together and is waving it around. Life is good.
I just drove through the Chick-fil-A parking lot and asked these two dudes if they work at Chick-fil-A they said yes I said oh yeah then thank you they said my pleasure i said dang you rlly do work at Chick-fil-A
Just had to teach a student how to use a landline phone and now I'm off to celebrate my 103rd birthday with a hardcopy of a newspaper and a package of Werther's Originals
Since we’re doing online summer orientation i want to make sure you get the same experience as being on campus, so find a brick and set it on the ground, imagine you’re on the horseshoe, and then trip over it
NHC is monitoring a tropical wave over the eastern Atlantic that could become a tropical depression over the weekend several hundred miles east of the Lesser Antilles. Full outlook:
I have
⚪️A high school degree
⚪️A bachelors degree
⚪️ A masters degree
🔘Flaws. What are they? I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car.