alisa marie @danger_zone Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@phani_iisc

@mikulovesfraile

@Pooaan

alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

have at it, elephants. the world is yours now

Meh

@Spilling_The_T

4 years

While humans carry out social distancing, a group of 14 elephants broke into a village in Yunan province, looking for corn and other food. They ended up drinking 30kg of corn wine and got so drunk that they fell asleep in a nearby tea garden. 😂

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

2 years

@riverguardian i once saw him fall over on his bike in the west village and my bf at the time said “ah, the tipping point”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

@gracecamille_ speaking of clever, i once saw him fall off of his bike in the west village and my boyfriend at the time said “ah. i see he’s reached the tipping point”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

2 years

@ohperdita @BeanCounter707 @LeahB243 @PositionObvious @kaicomedy not my joke but somebody on reddit said “most people just bring a bottle of wine to a game night”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@jilltwiss someone asked recently what kinds of things do you do as an adult that make you feel like you’re fancier than you were growing up, and like, i answered getting manicures but honestly buying new towels almost always feels like “who the fuck do i think i am?? lady moneybags?!?!”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

@vornietom i once had to explain the bechdel test to a FILM PROFESSOR at COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY who’d never heard of it!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

just rewatched MOON by @ManMadeMoon two things 1) this movie feels like it’s about quarantine 2) why isn’t sam rockwell as much of star as fucking george clooney? he’s so brilliant and charismatic! he acts against himself! he’s so good at dancing! please make it make sense

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@annabroges saw family around thanksgiving and was like, “have the boomers gotten worse, or are my boundaries just stronger now?” the answer is “yes”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

who did this

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@kissmeriver virtual SURPRISE parties even?!? my husband’s family had a virtual party for his grandma’s 101st bday, and his dad always writes these long, bonkers songs for people and there were like 20 windows of old people singing and it was utter chaos

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

@cc_sinuatus @shane_bauer

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@eeberquist i met a very handsome friend of my friend’s boyfriend recently and the second this handsome man left the room i said, not even quietly, “you are very handsome!” truly deranged

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

@oneunderscore__ this is every version of the worst kind of person

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

THREE YEARS!!! and we still really really really like each other!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

@NicoleConlan she went from champagne carpet to micellar water real fast

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

lolita podcast by @jamieloftusHELP wrecked me. fascinating, beautiful, difficult stuff. it’s also a great, unintentional companion to the woody allen documentary series (🤢). only dig into both of these things if you have the spoons. they’re a lot

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

@1followernodad i’ve known for a hundred-odd years that christopher guest was both british and married to jamie lee curtis. i know how “berenstain bears” is spelled. i know that freddie mercury was bi. i thought i knew everything. i did not know this.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@JimmyDetroit1 @blaireerskine i am so fucking mad at your correctness

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

@ErinChack @adamtotscomix was once at an extremely fancy shop (merchandise included skin care, diamond jewelry, and like, artisanal chutney) and a woman on the phone said “yeah, i’m just at the grocery store” and i will never stop laughing at this

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

@mattxiv

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

it turns out the ~real~ shithole country was the shithole country he made along the way

Ken Tremendous

@KenTremendous

4 years

America looks so good to the rest of the world right now, huh? Just smart and capable and well-run. A well-oiled machine. 7.5 million cases, 210,000 dead, 50K new cases every day after 7 months, and the entire executive branch sick or hospitalized. A shining beacon on a hill.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

bubblegum dog is real. guys. it’s real. i might get i trouble for tweeting this, but holy shit it’s happening

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@HeheWaitWhut this photo smells awful

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

happy MGMT day to all who celebrate!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

small child asking about my dog : what is her name? me : freddie mercury! child : and is she a girl or is she a boy ? me : she’s a boy!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

they’re doing the thing

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

LOOK AT THESE DREAMBOATS !! @KarenO and @sadguitarius made the beautiful score to the moving @whereisannefrank that got a standing ovation at @festivaldecannes and still managed to look cool as hell!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

ben *sees a dog literally anywhere in the world* don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it ben : that’s a good dog

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

1 year

guys. this @whoismgmt show is going to be bonkers.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

this is extremely wholesome energy on my tl and i encourage and celebrate it @theferocity @SydneyBattle

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

my MG? MT

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

my husband is a playing card. #mgmt

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

like many, my anxiety has been intense lately, and i made this playlist to help me chill the fuck out. i’ve found it very helpful, maybe you will also like it! 💕

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

having a rough day bc it’s the 4yr anniversary of my sister’s body being found in her apt, and on days like this it’s hard for me to eat. ben asked what he could do & i said “soup” and he was like “are you having a problem with food today?” and then he made me soup! he’s the best

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

to all the people totally justifiably calling out me lack of action : you guys are correct! i should have said something earlier, but i didn’t feel like i could, and i try to think about gross men as little as possible for my own well being!

alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@AtlasHatcher listen. you’re right. i agree with you. i wish i would have said something sooner. i didn’t feel like i could. it wasn’t quirky, it was gross, and it stuck with me for years. which means the next time i see some bullshit that makes me feel icky i’ll be better at calling it out

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

@meganeabbott @oldfilmsflicker

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

ok, i can finally say this : @sadguitarius and @KarenO made a GORGEOUS soundtrack for the wonderful @whereisannef film premiering at @Festival_Cannes and I’M SO EXCITED FOR HIM! i knew my husband was talented, but this is just ridiculous #CannesFilmFestival #WhereIsAnneFrank

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

this song is about this dog, freddie mercury, who is very small #TimsTwitterListeningParty

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

i met one of the daft punk guys at coachella once, and in a flurry of nervous panic, asked him what he was eating. “hemberger?” he answered. later, ben said to me “did you just want to hear him say ‘hamburger’ in a french accent?” and, dear reader, i think i probably did

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

watching @whoisMGMT fans sing along to EVERY SINGLE SONG makes me cry real bad

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@TheOmniZaddy @eeberquist i am very married and very uninterested i just weirdly felt the need to comment on this man’s objective handsomeness??? my brain is broken

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

but, like, also listen to more recent @whoisMGMT please

kara jackson - debut album gyal

@fridahalo

4 years

white people... please starting taking hella psychedelics and making music again!!! i don’t need y’all to rap and i certainly don’t need y’all to make jazz. what i need is the next MGMT

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

but nobody ever asks “*how* is mgmt?”

mGtm fan account

@MGMT_fan1

3 years

THIS IS MGMT

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

it’s my 41st birthday today (forty-wonderful) and my goal this year is to get ridiculously hot. like, not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. it’s gonna be weird. it’s been a hard 5+ years. but i am determined to get hot and helpful and whole (momentarily at best!)

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

2 years

the boys in the studio ripping bong hits and making sick “bobby’s world” references. i wish i was joking.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

hey i’m sorry to assault you guys with this, but it’s my baby sister’s birthday today and i could use some support?? she passed away four years ago and it’s been very hard for me. we had a strained relationship bc she was a mean alcoholic, but when she died, it changed my life

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

@KendraWrites @ParkerMolloy i’ve also been using “bananagrams” which is really fun to say

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

ben got a new gaming/pc/programming laptop and it is so fucking ugly. i hate it. it’s like if a monster energy drink suddenly and gracelessly turned into a laptop

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

he is a good husband.

Ben Goldwasser

@sadguitarius

4 years

Hopefully this doesn't come across as performative activism, but it felt damn good to donate some money on a day of feeling very helpless and sad. Links in thread. Help if you can!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

how did you get weird over covid? i got really really into cooking food and the science of cooking and i stoped blow drying my hair or wearing makeup and started taking very elaborate baths and learning to identify plants. basically i turned into a kitchen/garden/bath witch. you?

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

ben and i have moved into the stage of quarantine where we’re rewatching movies we only watched on airplanes to see if they were, in fact, good, or if we were just on an airplane

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

hi fuck i don’t want to do this but maybe i can help just one person?? maybe??? i was in a shitty, abusive relationship years ago and it was SO confusing! i was a strong, feminist adult woman, and this man made me feel so small and worthless. it can happen to anyone 1/

FKA twigs

@FKAtwigs

4 years

it may be surprising to you to learn that i was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. it was hard for me to process too, during and after i never thought something like this would happen to me.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

i forced my husband to listen to a red hot chili peppers song today (“under the bridge” bc we got fish tacos from a truck... under a bridge) and honestly i would understand if he wanted to divorce me over this

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

i’ve had both a miscarriage and an abortion. in the last six years! when i’ve been in a stable relationship and have had most things sorted for myself. but bringing a baby into the world is a huge fucking thing that i am not ready for. this abortion ban is MADENING 1/?

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@whoisMGMT guys.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

2 years

listen, i have a very good husband. whenever i have stressful work situations, he’s always like “can i make you a dinner?” and now he’s making me mac and cheese from scratch

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

my husband doesn’t believe in wrapping presents or putting them under the tree until CHRISTMAS EVE?!? i should probably call the police on him, right?

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

8 months

🐢🐶🏁

MGMT - Mother Nature (Official Music Video)

MGMT - Mother Nature (Official Music Video)Listen to Loss Of Life, MGMT’s fifth studio album: https://mgmt.lnk.to/LossOfLifeShop the MGMT store for exclusive...

www.youtube.com

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

@elizaskinner this is literally my husband

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES - a haiku composed by @sadguitarius and myself they were very old, they were not terribly good. i did eat them all.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

someone on tiktok recognized my profile pic in a comment and was like “aren’t you the third member of mgmt?!” i’m dying

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

you guys are gonna hate me for this, but i secretly refer to this song as “siberian bathroom breaks” because they usually play it at the point during a show when i have to pee 😔 #TimsTwitterListeningParty

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

7 months

#bubblegumdog #MGMT

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

hey everybody! be sure to check your face mask before you put it on because tHERE MIGHT BE A SPIDER IN YOUR MASK AND YOU WONT KNOW IT UNTIL YOU FEEL A FUCKING SPIDER CRAWLING ON YOUR FACE! THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME AND I AM OFFICIALLY TRAUMATIZED FOREVER! have a great tuesday!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

we finally got animal crossing so of course we stayed up until 2am last night playing animal crossing. we are responsible adults

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

anyone have a cute little screenshot of ariel pink’s tweet about peacefully supporting the president” the terrorist occupation of the capitol yesterday? i’d just appreciate it so much!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

listen, nobody asked me to, but yes, i did just buy $50 worth of candy for the boys backstage #mgmt #candy

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

me, at home, snuggled up : is this music ok? husband : it kinda makes me feel like i’m dead? like this is the music that plays in the waiting room after you die? me : so it’s ok? husband : yeah, it’s fine

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

i had to straight up remind @sadguitarius that his birthday is next week. he literally forgets every single year. how???

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

watching #queereye with my husband for his first time and i’m just really excited that he finally gets to meet all my dads

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

just told my husband i don’t think i’ll be wearing mascara anymore as i’ve always felt self-conscious about my pale eyelashes and now, after a year of not performing for anyone i kinda like my bare eyes and he was like “BEAR EYES?! LIKE A BEAR?!?!” god bless his sweet idiot soul

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

the very first time i ever talked to ben, he walked into the shop i was working at, and i noticed his owl tattoo me: excuse me, is that a #twinpeaks tattoo? ben: no me: ok! *scurries away* my point is, never be afraid to get excited about stuff you care about to total strangers

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

the word for sorry in japanese is “gomen” which is beautiful because men should apologize, and go

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

i hope drive-in movies stick around after the panini. we just went on a date to see NEVERENDING STORY and ate shake shack in the car and ran into friends and it was so lovely (also, a photographer for the event took a photo of freddie bc he looks like falkor)

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

i miss museums so much. i keep thinking about my favorites around the world and wondering if the art is lonely

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

me to my husband : i love you so much. i wish we could be vampires so we could hang out forever. also we could eat obnoxious tourists in the neighborhood. it would be nice him : yeah.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

5 years

there’s a very loud party in my neighborhood rn playing elvis costello and i can only assume it’s @colesprouse birthday party bc i saw him in a restaurant nearby a few hours ago celebrating, and i can’t assume the two things are unrelated. happy birthday you delightful weirdo!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

“someone’s missing” sounds like a disco party that’s far away that you’re not invited to #TimsTwitterListeningParty

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

it’s so weird to look at my face with makeup on after a year of not wearing any. it looks like every feature on my face is yelling

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

ben has peen playing zelda: breath of the wild and i hear him around the house saying stuff like “aw, you’re a good horse”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

if you had told little baby 21-yr-old alisa that in 20 yrs she would be living in the hollywood hills with a small dog and a musician husband, enjoying the fast & furious movies, she would have punched you, and been like “hahaha! i’ll never be *that* boring!” yet here we are!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

me : baby? ben : yeah? me : can we watch “west side story”? ben : the new one? me : yeah?? ben : *groans and makes disappointed noises from his office*

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

at a movie premiere one time, one of the guys from vampire weekend “corrected” the way i pronounced “portmanteau” (i was saying the singular, he corrected me to the plural, for some reason) and i will never forget it

jules

@lnternetvibes

4 years

vampire weekend album concepts

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

it’s so weird to see other people’s bedrooms because i’m always like “you fuck in there”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

“twitter for ipad”

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

my greatest wish for my husband’s career is that he makes some songs that are popular enough to get invited back onto @ConanOBrien ‘s show bc after listening to his podcast all quar, i want to be friends with him so bad and i think all it will take is insulting him a lot?

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

i can’t stop baking delicious things and there are only two people in my house ! someone please hire me to be their grandma !

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@mralbarnsquango @ConanOBrien HEY @sadguitarius PLEASE MAKE ELECTRIC FEEL PART II SO I CAN MEET @ConanOBrien ! THANX!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

2 years

@ITooAmRJ @prolepeach thinking about the one of the biggest scandals in my high school was when the private security guard slept with a 17 year old student (who also worked at the strip club kitty-corner to the school) and we all villainized *her*

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

internationally traveling like a fucking asshole

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

“flash delirium” is one of my favorites to see live. it’s such a goddamned party #TimsTwitterListeningParty

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

2 years

@amandadeibert mayonnaise on the outside of bread to make grilled cheese sandwiches. all that fat keeps the bread from burning, grate your cheese and add garlic butter to the *inside* of the bread, keep slices opened faced and cover w a lid while in pan. i swear, it’s the best sandwiches ever

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

post a picture of your pet and the. what your pet is named after

Dede Crimmins

@dedecrim

4 years

Post a picture of your pet and then what your pet is named after.

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

anyway. i’m meeting cindy crawford today

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

4 years

you’re welcome🍝

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

6 years

to the cool-looking girl i saw last week driving down barham blvd and blasting “she works out too much”, i see you and i love you

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

so i went sailing? in a sail boat? it was so fun and so terrifying!

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alisa marie

@danger_zone

3 years

@rianjohnson i was at one of the KNIVES OUT screenings where you ushered!! it is one of my fondest cinematic memories (and i studied film at columbia university so i have A LOT!)!!! this is so so so SO upsetting

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