daner @danasthotz Twitter profile

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daner

@danasthotz

26 days

the best part of life is that sometimes there is bread and cheese involved

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

@whalejack_ @upblissed i'm no genius but i'm pretty sure this wasn't a tattoo he got branded

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daner

@danasthotz

4 years

@DemiRaeMoreno1 got cut from idol? don’t talk to me. i'm healing. this is NOT ok

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daner

@danasthotz

11 months

my favorite deleted tweet

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

@fuckedupfoods "See me boy! He was just hungry!"

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daner

@danasthotz

8 months

my 84y/o grandpa: "you mean being trans is a boy that becomes a girl and a girl becomes a boy?" us: "yes" him: "well whatever turns ya on!" Jerry is for the girls gays and theys💅🏻

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daner

@danasthotz

5 months

the world needs to see this

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daner

@danasthotz

6 months

this is sooooo lis

Lisa Tuccio

@LisaTuccio

13 years

i called Verizon to discuss a problem, it got a little heated. they referred me to the escalation dept. #ijustneedgoodcustomerservice .wtf.

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

baby dad double fisting

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daner

@danasthotz

11 months

i miss when my only problems were not having read the chapters from Of Mice and Men that i was supposed to the night before

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daner

@danasthotz

10 months

mista milk and cookies

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daner

@danasthotz

4 months

@hourIyhoroscope i feel like my name fits me too well

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

#NewProfilePic

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

woke up this morning not depressed and got a new car. who is she

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

@ilovealkira @mickeywon234 june 3rd

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daner

@danasthotz

6 months

nah otto i still love you man, it's just the way u ate half of a hydrangea and threw up 8 times in the basement that threw me off alittle bestie

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daner

@danasthotz

6 months

ok i'll say it i miss maddog and mista milk and cookies and no one will go to california with me

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles #outonthetown

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

otto looks like he smokes marlboro lights

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

idk i feel like i'm fast enough to catch a squirrel

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

turns out YOURE not "all that" bud.

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

giving me one of these as a kid was dangerous cause id be looking to see which one i could beat and suddenly i'm alone in my room trying to hold my breath for longer than 5 minutes

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daner

@danasthotz

4 months

this guy knows how to day the memorial

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daner

@danasthotz

11 months

papa: "whoever wins this game (jets n giants) shouldn't win because both teams played like shit"

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

ducks just get bread thrown at them all day long. imagine what it's like to live that luxury

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

nobody: my mom: Driving, can't text. Sent from MY ALTIMA

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

anyways here's a pic of my niece madison flipping the bird

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

HE SAID CASH APP OR ZELLE

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

@LETSGOODYSSEY the millennial pause in this is unreal

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

are there still horses in the wild

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

leg tattoos. that's it that's the tweet

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

the crime and the offender

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daner

@danasthotz

8 months

"Diane visited me this morning!"

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

misery loves company

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daner

@danasthotz

8 months

idk how to explain it but i feel like bisexuals are gayer than lesbians

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daner

@danasthotz

8 months

my family sees gay shit and is like "dana would love that"

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daner

@danasthotz

4 months

signed a lease. breaking out the fancy cheese tonight.

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

missing mista milk and cookies

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

face card never declines

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

fuck amber herd

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daner

@danasthotz

3 years

who knew my soulmate lived in greece ny my whole life 💀

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

don’t get me wrong i have nothing against dr pepper but why are some people such die hard fans they'd throw away their marriage for it

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

asking the uber eats guy if he can spoon feed me it

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

i miss my siblings

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

i have got to stop wasting my sundays getting tipsy in the backyard with the dog and then falling asleep

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

someone tell gypsy rose to stay away from those panera lemonades

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

blowing up a 10ft kiddie pool in the kitchen to drink in this week

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

crying in the club but it's not the club it's my work bathroom

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

hanging out with otto. i offered a veggie straw. he politely declined.

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

the type of girl that almost totals her car from how much she looks at the moon

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daner

@danasthotz

3 years

messed up a lady's order today and i think my exact words were, "sorry im an absolute animal i shouldn't have been let out of my cage this morning". safe to say she won't be coming back.

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

did u try telekinesis as a child or was that something only the superior dabbled in

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

"I mean there’s nothing graceful about blackout shea lol. But she’s our blackout shea" - @pawlpatroI

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daner

@danasthotz

7 months

@berardi_69 @cuntrycrockslut no, no one does.

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

go best friend

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

@ijustBbeing who develops a mango allergy at 22

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daner

@danasthotz

5 months

do you think they'll notice if i take her home with me

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daner

@danasthotz

4 months

@berardi_69 omg a hit tweet

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

Target employee: "Hi how are you?" *mouth watering, heart racing, starting to sweat* Me, actually: "Let's make this quick thanks."

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

i miss the hellen keller twitter account

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daner

@danasthotz

8 months

words of wisdom

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

but you can't leave yet we never went to lunch.

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

gonna start sending this as a response since siri wont stop auto correcting me to "holy shot"

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daner

@danasthotz

8 months

i hope the chiefs get butt fucked by the ravens

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

happy fantasy draft pics #1 dad award

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daner

@danasthotz

5 months

"your stomach always hurts" yeah well guess what pal it does again pass me a mozzerella ball would ya

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

@JakeMadFluegel no it's been missing since last winter

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

frog pissed on me so do i have powers yet

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daner

@danasthotz

11 months

@jpodon01 @cuntrycrockslut also unemployed shea: "sorry i cant i'm just so busy!"

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daner

@danasthotz

4 months

the word cunt is so cunt

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

#NewProfilePic

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

brb bringing back my straight girl appearance for the summer

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

@berardi_69 @cuntrycrockslut take me out instead we can get the group size

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daner

@danasthotz

2 years

my problem is i'm never tan enough

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daner

@danasthotz

3 years

u in her dms i'm in her boxers sharting

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daner

@danasthotz

9 months

i just ate half of a cheese danish tray in under two minutes stone cold sober. raking it up to a bills celebration instead of acknowledging that i have a problem

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daner

@danasthotz

1 year

emily keeps using her dyslexia as an excuse someone get their bella thorne

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daner

@danasthotz

11 months