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daner

@danasthotz

75
Followers
246
Following
230
Media
4,064
Statuses

easily upset by buffalo sports teams

Joined February 2020
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@danasthotz
daner
26 days
the best part of life is that sometimes there is bread and cheese involved
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
@whalejack_ @upblissed i'm no genius but i'm pretty sure this wasn't a tattoo he got branded
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@danasthotz
daner
4 years
@DemiRaeMoreno1 got cut from idol? don’t talk to me. i'm healing. this is NOT ok
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@danasthotz
daner
11 months
my favorite deleted tweet
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
@fuckedupfoods "See me boy! He was just hungry!"
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
my 84y/o grandpa: "you mean being trans is a boy that becomes a girl and a girl becomes a boy?" us: "yes" him: "well whatever turns ya on!" Jerry is for the girls gays and theys💅🏻
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@danasthotz
daner
5 months
the world needs to see this
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@danasthotz
daner
6 months
this is sooooo lis
@LisaTuccio
Lisa Tuccio
13 years
i called Verizon to discuss a problem, it got a little heated. they referred me to the escalation dept. #ijustneedgoodcustomerservice .wtf.
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
baby dad double fisting
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@danasthotz
daner
11 months
i miss when my only problems were not having read the chapters from Of Mice and Men that i was supposed to the night before
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@danasthotz
daner
10 months
mista milk and cookies
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@danasthotz
daner
4 months
@hourIyhoroscope i feel like my name fits me too well
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
woke up this morning not depressed and got a new car. who is she
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@danasthotz
daner
6 months
nah otto i still love you man, it's just the way u ate half of a hydrangea and threw up 8 times in the basement that threw me off alittle bestie
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@danasthotz
daner
6 months
ok i'll say it i miss maddog and mista milk and cookies and no one will go to california with me
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles #outonthetown
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
otto looks like he smokes marlboro lights
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
idk i feel like i'm fast enough to catch a squirrel
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
turns out YOURE not "all that" bud.
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
giving me one of these as a kid was dangerous cause id be looking to see which one i could beat and suddenly i'm alone in my room trying to hold my breath for longer than 5 minutes
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@danasthotz
daner
4 months
this guy knows how to day the memorial
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@danasthotz
daner
11 months
papa: "whoever wins this game (jets n giants) shouldn't win because both teams played like shit"
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
ducks just get bread thrown at them all day long. imagine what it's like to live that luxury
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
nobody: my mom: Driving, can't text. Sent from MY ALTIMA
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
anyways here's a pic of my niece madison flipping the bird
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
HE SAID CASH APP OR ZELLE
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
@LETSGOODYSSEY the millennial pause in this is unreal
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
are there still horses in the wild
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
leg tattoos. that's it that's the tweet
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
the crime and the offender
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
"Diane visited me this morning!"
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
misery loves company
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
idk how to explain it but i feel like bisexuals are gayer than lesbians
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
my family sees gay shit and is like "dana would love that"
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@danasthotz
daner
4 months
signed a lease. breaking out the fancy cheese tonight.
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
missing mista milk and cookies
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
face card never declines
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
fuck amber herd
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@danasthotz
daner
3 years
who knew my soulmate lived in greece ny my whole life 💀
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
don’t get me wrong i have nothing against dr pepper but why are some people such die hard fans they'd throw away their marriage for it
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
asking the uber eats guy if he can spoon feed me it
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
i miss my siblings
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
i have got to stop wasting my sundays getting tipsy in the backyard with the dog and then falling asleep
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
someone tell gypsy rose to stay away from those panera lemonades
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
blowing up a 10ft kiddie pool in the kitchen to drink in this week
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
crying in the club but it's not the club it's my work bathroom
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
hanging out with otto. i offered a veggie straw. he politely declined.
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
the type of girl that almost totals her car from how much she looks at the moon
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@danasthotz
daner
3 years
messed up a lady's order today and i think my exact words were, "sorry im an absolute animal i shouldn't have been let out of my cage this morning". safe to say she won't be coming back.
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
did u try telekinesis as a child or was that something only the superior dabbled in
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
"I mean there’s nothing graceful about blackout shea lol. But she’s our blackout shea" - @pawlpatroI
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@danasthotz
daner
7 months
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
go best friend
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
@ijustBbeing who develops a mango allergy at 22
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@danasthotz
daner
5 months
do you think they'll notice if i take her home with me
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@danasthotz
daner
4 months
@berardi_69 omg a hit tweet
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
Target employee: "Hi how are you?" *mouth watering, heart racing, starting to sweat* Me, actually: "Let's make this quick thanks."
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
i miss the hellen keller twitter account
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
words of wisdom
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
but you can't leave yet we never went to lunch.
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
gonna start sending this as a response since siri wont stop auto correcting me to "holy shot"
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
i hope the chiefs get butt fucked by the ravens
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
happy fantasy draft pics #1 dad award
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@danasthotz
daner
5 months
"your stomach always hurts" yeah well guess what pal it does again pass me a mozzerella ball would ya
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
@JakeMadFluegel no it's been missing since last winter
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
frog pissed on me so do i have powers yet
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@danasthotz
daner
11 months
@jpodon01 @cuntrycrockslut also unemployed shea: "sorry i cant i'm just so busy!"
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@danasthotz
daner
4 months
the word cunt is so cunt
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
brb bringing back my straight girl appearance for the summer
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
@berardi_69 @cuntrycrockslut take me out instead we can get the group size
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
my problem is i'm never tan enough
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@danasthotz
daner
3 years
u in her dms i'm in her boxers sharting
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@danasthotz
daner
9 months
i just ate half of a cheese danish tray in under two minutes stone cold sober. raking it up to a bills celebration instead of acknowledging that i have a problem
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
emily keeps using her dyslexia as an excuse someone get their bella thorne
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@danasthotz
daner
11 months
@WholesomeMeme the coat of an aussie and the personality of a lab is all anyone could want
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
eating a whole ceasar salad kit and laying around
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@danasthotz
daner
6 months
nobody: shea in 2011: "dee can you straighten the back of my hair i'm going out"
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
so this is where the story ends
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
just passed a cams. ancient cuisine i didn't know still existed.
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
joey^2
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@danasthotz
daner
8 months
...
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@danasthotz
daner
11 months
my horny ass can NOT be trusted around a cheese danish
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
please turn off your brights i have a stigmatism and will kill us both
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@danasthotz
daner
6 months
this is my niece btw
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
being w someone that doesn't lie on the daily is such a blessing shoutout @jibswrld
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
i am no longer gay, i am retiring. thanks.
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
FA LA LA LA LA!!
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
@cuntrycrockslut @berardi_69 pay off my car or count your days, Chris.
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@danasthotz
daner
5 months
i will forever size up a bitch that says she don’t drink tap water. i just drank 2am bathroom sink water like a god damn champ
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
she is an ugly butter churning wench
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@danasthotz
daner
1 year
i am nobody's peace
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@danasthotz
daner
6 months
me and josh whenever we see eachother unexpectedly in public
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@danasthotz
daner
2 years
sometimes i get so angry at life i just wanna swipe up on couples stories and say ya gf ugly and then mute them
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