Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson) @craytusjones Twitter profile

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

1 day

This weekends #Satsplat theme is poetry. Write and/or post pieces that somehow incorporate poetry. All genres welcome. I'll drop the discussion question soon. Let's do it. Much love and respect to you all.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Signs you might be a geek: 1) You quote sci-fi and fantasy stories like church folks quote scripture. 2) You get urges to correct people when they talk about old video games. 3) You'd rather read, write or work on a weird project than watch a celebrity awards show. Add one.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

When I was 32 years old, I was given 6 months to live. Today, I'm 42. Death can go to hell. :)

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

It's my birthday. Yay! 😐

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

It's official. I'm going to be the Creator of a graphic novel that will put out by a major multimedia production company. My writing partner will also get a credit. I'll be announcing specifics within the next month. Happy but busy. Grateful but tired. LoL.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Here's a touchy subject: You should get paid for what you create. There is nothing wrong, and everything right about selling your art, writing, music, etc. Sell it! Get paid. Remove whatever weird belief that makes it taboo for you. You and your hard work are worthy of reward.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Did you know that being lazy is usually NOT why people procrastinate? Fear usually is. Fear of finishing, and having people judge our work. Fear of not knowing exactly how or where to start. Fear that we are not good enough to do it properly. Fear that we don't know enough..

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I don't write erotica much, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again: People who judge smut writers = People who are not having nearly as much fun as smut writers.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Tomorrow, I'm going to pick 3 Twitter writers who simply don't get enough attention, and ask people to follow them and support their work. I'm going to try to do this every Thursday. Call it #Thursdayboost I can't do it without your help. Please follow, read and support.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

LoL. Angry DMs about writing tips? Fine! I take it all back. Write your stories without arcs. Be afraid to write. Use 7 adverbs per sentence. Misspell some words. Don't use any punctuation. Hell, just send the publisher abstract finger paintings. That'll get their attention.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Only 4 ways I know to improve your writing: 1) Read! Read greats and garbage. Learn what resonates with you and what repulses you. 2) Write! Write without ceasing. 3) Watch! Watch real people. They help build good characters. 4) Let go! Lose the anxiety, and have fun.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Writing stuff: If a sentence bothers you, strip it naked. Take out all adverbs, adjectives, etc. If the naked sentence doesn't serve its desired purpose in context, then no amount of dressing it up will help. Delete it, and find a better sentence.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Going to say this to everyone: Rejections. Mean. Nothing. Keep writing. Keep querying. Keep learning. Keep your confidence. If you quit, then you're not a writer, you're a f*cking quitter. Much love and respect all around. That is all.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

I couldn't write anything if I had not first written poetry. Poetry is the unfiltered broadcasting of ones spirit. Recently, it's become increasingly fashionable to trash poetry, and disregard poets as "real writers." In my opinion that's a buncha horse sh*t. I love poetry.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

If they remake The Princess Bride, I will start a revolution. We have to draw a line somewhere. People are writing new shit! Make new shit! Quit screwing up the classics!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Me: Remember that project I tried to get you on board with? Him: That stupid shit with the angels and demons? You finally scrap it? M: No. I...uh...got a deal. H: Some indie shit? M: Indie woulda been fine, but no... mainstream. H: Cool! Need any help? M: Um...No. I don't.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Salesman: May I speak to the head of the household please? Me: No. We're a headless household. S: Uh. Maybe you can help me. M: I doubt that very seriously. S: Do you own a refrigerator? M: Yes. That's where we keep our heads, now that we no longer need them. S: .....

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Yep. I use "curse words." My characters use curse words. If somebody never cusses, I usually assume that they are the parent of a young child, a religious person or a serial killer.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

There's no f*cking competition. Everybody has something special to share. And, your special thing is unique to you. There's nobody to beat. Just you. It's a simple choice: Will you share what you have to share, or will you keep it locked inside of you forever?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Something my dad taught me: If you see somebody, and immediately find yourself judging them, or thinking the worst of them, go and speak to them in a friendly and respectful manner. Learn more than what your eyes tell you. They might not be what you think you see.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

Best advice. 2 wks before my dad died. Dad: Whatcha workin on, buddy? Me: Optimization. Online stuff. Ways to call attention to my work. D: Tell ya a secret: You want attention, then give attention. Everybody already knows you can write. Help them learn to write. They'll come.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

This interview got shutdown. LoL. I actually got in trouble. Him: Are you gay or straight? Me: Why does that matter? I'm writing. You're reading. We ain't dating. H: Lotsa writers are proud of their sexuality. M: Yep. And I love and care about them all. H: So? M: So what?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Me: Happy Holidays! Him: We only say, "Merry Christmas" around here. M: Do you not have any neighbors of other faiths or any atheist neighbors? H: They'll just have to deal with it. M: Happy Holidays! H: I just told you... M: You'll just have to deal with it.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

My old friend died. Sucks. Gonna miss him. This world has just become a less interesting place.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

To me, poetry ain't about mushy pretty words and rhythmic cadences. To me, poetry is a flower growing out of a garbage disposal, a dirty barefoot kid playing a ukulele in the middle of a fancy strip mall, people loving one another for no good reason at all. What's poetry to you?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Where my philosophy comes from: I was diagnosed with Stage IV Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma 10 yrs ago. Outlook was grim. Never gave up. Fought doctors for 6 years before going through chemo. Did it. Never gave up. Still alive, cancer free. I'll never give up, or condone giving up.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I follow back all writers and creatives. I try to avoid bots, cyber hookers, cyber hooker bots, anybody selling anything besides books, art or music. I'll abide political people, but don't be too pushy. I don't like politicians. I think they're professional liars. Much love.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

3 years

Doesn't anybody write books for grown folks anymore? No offense intended, but 9 out of every ten pitches is YA, MG, or kidstuff.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Sorry if I'm a bit philosophical today. This will be my 10th New Year celebrated since I was diagnosed with late stage iv Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I get even more reflective, positive and thankful than usual. It's probably annoying, but I can't help it.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I sat with a dying friend for a few hours the other day. He moved on to the Next Place last night. His body was failing, but his mind was all there. Such a strange thing to see how others process their departure. Really made me think about things I usually avoid. I'll miss him.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

What if we fed the starving, gave sick people meds, helped people with mental illness, stopped killing one another, and quit caging nonviolent offenders? What if we forgot about our labels, politics and money, and started giving a f*ck about one another?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Him: Bro, I don't mean to be a dick, but that story you gave me was hot garbage. It was so bad, I'd just delete it and start over. Me: Good. Now I know I can trust you to tell the truth. I'll send the real story today. H: Really? You asshole! M: Check your email. 🤣

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Your audience is not looking for you in your creative work. They are looking for themselves. They want to get behind the eyes of a character to whom they can relate, and go on an adventure they've never been on. It's a balance of relatable characters and compelling story.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Don't touch anyone who doesn't want to be touched by you. This seems a simple rule. How is that so many grown people can't seem to figure it out?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Me: Let me hear your sales pitch. Him: If you don't read this book, something awful will happen to you. Me: That's...a terrible sales pitch, buddy. Him: It worked for the Holy Bible. Me: .....

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

First big audience you must win over? All the f*cking voices in your head.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

I miss Blockbuster. I loved going to pick out my movie and games. Netflix is limited. Hulu has too many commercials. Redbox is a dumpster full of DVDs with a screen and a grabby hole. Blockbuster was better.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Okay. Need opinions. My editor says this is an inappropriate line. Why do you think? "He was staring at me harder than feral cats f*ck."

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Writer tip: There's nothing wrong with you. Most writers have trouble actually writing. It's because it matters to us. We get anxious. Yes. Force yourself to do it at a pre-scheduled time. But, don't beat yourself up, or feel weird. It happens. Writing is hard.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I'm about to eat a whole blueberry pie, and drink a whole pot of coffee. Because I feel like it.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Tomorrow, if you have a moment, send me some good energy. It's a big day for me and my tribe. Could use all the positivity you can spare. Much love.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Creepiest DM Ever: (New follower. Said it was a writer, so I followed back) I'm hiding in the living room, holding your surprise. Come find me. 😲

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

That feeling when you hear an old friend just died, and your head suddenly feels too heavy to carry around. I'm there.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Some of my favorite writers to work with are terrible at grammar, spelling, etc. They are working class people who can tell a helluva story. Bad grammar and spelling is much easier to fix than a bad story. Just my opinion and preference.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called "mad" and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called "writers" and they do pretty much the same thing." Ray Bradbury

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Hey. I want to follow more writers, readers, editors, poets, gamers, etc. I'm not selling anything. I just love talking shop about writing, reading the works of others and sharing my work and ideas. #follow me. I'll #followback . #amwriting #writerscommunity #writerslife

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Question for women: I like strong female characters. But, I often hear women say that they are often unhappy with the way women are portrayed. Give me some of the female characters you thought were written well.. believably, accurately.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

When I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer, I was made fun of and discouraged. My boss, at the time, said, "You're as good as dead. I'm going to have to find a replacement." No matter who it is, I never f*cking make fun of people who are suffering illnesses. That's just me .

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Salesman: May I speak to the head of the household please? Me: No. We're a headless household. S: Uh. Maybe you can help me. M: I doubt that very seriously. S: Do you own a refrigerator? M: Yes. That's where we keep our heads, now that we no longer need them. S: .....

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

Him: What's your race? Me: Used to be the 400 meter. These days, I run alone. Him: No. I mean your roots? Me: I'm native to Earth. But, there's bound to be an alien on the old family tree. Him: No. I mean.. Me: I know what you mean. But I'd rather talk about what I mean.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Jeff stood in the kitchen holding a comic book. "Gramps, what do you think of time travel?" Gramps smiled. "Do it all the time. See that old rocking chair on the porch? It's a time machine. I can sit there and see a hundred possible tomorrows. Saw you before you were born."

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

3 years

Today's a strange anniversary. They said, "Stage IV." They said, "No cure." But I'm still here. And I'm damn sure That each breath that I breathe Is a gift I receive No, this party ain't over, And I'm not ready to leave. Happy and grateful. Much love and respect to you all.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Do you believe you are a writer? Do you tell people? Do you believe you are a good writer? Do you believe your work is good enough for other people to read? Do you believe they'll love it? Do you believe? That's a helluva good start.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

I don't care if you graduated from Yale, or you just got outta jail. If you've got something interesting to say, I'll listen. If you write something cool, I'll read. I've learned in classrooms, barrooms, on job sites, standing in line, lying in bed, everywhere! From everyone!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

So many questions: What is consciousness? How does quantum entanglement work? Why are they called "throw pillows" if I'm not supposed to throw them? Is God an entity, or the point at which we all intersect? Twisty moustaches? Most importantly, how are you today?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Giving a f*ck now and then is fine. But, don't waste your f*cks. Be economical with them. New word! Be F*ckonomical!!!!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Bad news! Another rejection letter! Apparently, there's no mainstream market for anatomically correct stuffed animals. I find that very hard to believe! Whatever! Your loss, Hallmark!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Yo! When you decided to become a writer, you took on a hard job, and a great responsibility. A word can change a sentence. A sentence can change a story. A story can change hearts and minds. Hearts and minds can change the world.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

7 years

Sometimes being right is the worst thing that could happen to you. #amwriting #scifi

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Names for possible bad self-help books I could write: 1) Shut Up! Or They'll Know! 2) Never Let Strangers Touch Your Face 3) It'll Get Better... Probably 4) Zen and Cake 5) Make Something Up to Have Faith In 6) You're Not Paranoid. Are You? 7) Make New Friends...Out of Paper

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I'm gonna say this one more time, just to be clear: Helping needy people, feeding hungry people and giving medicine to sick people is NOT politics. It's just common decency. Same goes for loving people who are different from yourself. It's simple. Do what's right.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Him: Why are we in a gay bar? Me: This is where he wants to meet and have drinks, he's our friend, so we're here. H: What if these guys come on to me? M: Dude. You try to get laid in regular bars all the time, and you never do. I think you have even less of a chance in here.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Phone meeting with producers today. Should be interesting. Little nervous. Really excited.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Today I learned that "funding for development" are 3 of the sweetest words a screenwriter can hear. I'm happy and grateful... And, insanely busy! If I fall behind on replying to stuff, please understand! Much love and respect to you all!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

What's wrong with me?🤣 I sat down and typed: The walls were sticky with evil... LMAO

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

About this poetry thing: I think the problem is that we have been brainwashed to think of our art in terms of what we can sell. You hear crap like, "The poetry market is flooded." Or "YA is hot right now." Leave that to the publishers and marketers. Write from your soul.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Don't sell the words. Sell the adventure, the feelings, the thoughts, growth, decline, the fear, the joy, the madness, the laughter, and the tears. Words should become invisible. They should give way to the visions, the music, and the sensations the mind uses them to create.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

What's so scary about somebody praying to a different god than you do? Or not praying at all? Or having a different color of skin than you? Or having different preferences sexually? Or a different culture than yours? Or whatever! Others are different from you. Get over it!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

My old friend, Medusa, is moving on to the Next Place. I'll miss her.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Dear Hallmark TV writers, Are you f*ckin with me? Watching this crap to make mom happy. Ext- Driveway-Night-Raining Lady shows up at door. Soaking wet. Flustered. Guy Oh no. Let's get you out of those wet clothes, and get something warm inside you. 😐

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Other people aren't competition. Everyday I compete with myself. I'm the hero and the villain. If I win, it's on me. If I lose, it's on me. I'm working hard, or I'm not. Only voices I need to out-sing are my negative thoughts. Only bad guys I need to slay are my bad habits.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

Mom: You're so talented, honey. Me: Thanks, mom! Mom: If only you weren't so weird, you'd probably be rich. Me: Here we go... Mom: Can't you just try to write a normal story? Maybe one about a talking dog and an astronaut? That'd sell. Me: Love you mom. Call ya soon. 🤣

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Stop being afraid of looking stupid. You don't look stupid when you try and fail. You look stupid when you sit on your tired furniture eating processed shit out of crinkling bags and cardboard boxes; eyes half open, mouth agape, shoulders slumping. Try, dammit! Get up and try!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

My whole life, I've always openly bitched and moaned about the stuff that makes me unhappy, angry, or sad. Never really been one to show my happiness and joy. F*ck that! Doesn't do anything good for me or anyone else. From now on, I'll show my joy and shout my happiness.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

I plan. I plot. I outline. I prepare. Then, I sit down, and writing happens. All my plans go out the window. The characters, and the story world do whatever the hell they want. And, all I can do is record it and share it.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Look, I know that self deprecation has it's charms, but you gotta put limits on that sh*t. If you tell everyone you suck, and that nobody likes your art on a regular basis, then that's where you've chosen to live, and that's how they all see you. Love you. Love what you do.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

I make jokes. Not to be disrespectful to anyone dealing with this horrible pandemic. But to help people smile and laugh at a time when smiles and laughs are as scarce as toilet paper. It's how I cope with darkness. My humor helps to calm me when I'm afraid. Much love to you all.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

I'll write my strangest ideas. I'll pitch them to the most important people without flinching. Straight faced. Remember: At some point, vampires, dragons, zombies and super heroes were also "very strange ideas." If you're gonna be weird, you better be confident.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

My grandma was an interesting woman. 6'1. Red hair (dyed). Half Irish, half Cherokee. Always told stories where the witches, who everyone in the story thought were evil, would save the village at the end of the story. Those stories helped me to question what evil really is.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Most of the greatest storytellers I've met were not writers. They were mostly older men and women. None of them were ever published, their grammar sucked, some of them could barely read and write. Storytelling and writing are separate things. One is used to preserve the other.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Okay. Best weird email ever: Hello Whisper, I am zipper honor and learning Tuesdays. I have many moneys in account of Susan. You send me half moneys on PayPal. I tell Susan send you all moneys. Double pleasure? Yes! Secret whisper. Special secret. Give me answers, Susanboy

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I love the thesaurus. I like learning new words. BUT, I hate when I'm reading a badass story that flows, and I have to stop every 5 minutes to look up some obscure or arcane word. Makes me feel like a bird who keeps flying into windows.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Instead of selling some coporate sh*t, let's be influencers to try to get people to care for one another. Support one another's work. Be cool to other creatives. Uplift. Be honest, but kind in our critiques. I know: it's a quaint idea. But, I like it. I'm taking it back!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Writing is hard. If you ain't working hard, then you're probably not writing. If you're frustrated, confused, worn out, tired of reading the damn thing over and over, ready to quit and start another project because, "F*ck this stupid story!"...then you might be onto something.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

So I sat down and started writing. .. And at some point I wrote, Octopi would make great puppeteers. Upon, reading that back, I decided to take a break from writing for a while. 🤣

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Humans are amazing. How is it so easy for us to sit for hours, stare at a screen, and believe enough in spaceships, dragons, and magic to let an outlandish story move us, and so hard to stare into a mirror and believe we see a hero, a genius; a Somebody who can do great things?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Easy one: Everyone in the #WritingCommunity make a point to retweet another author's stuff today. And, I mean something important like where to find their blogs or books. Always promote other artists. If you're the real deal, it's as important as promoting your own stuff.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

You know what I'm tired of? People saying, "That's just the way things are." It's so patronizing. Yeah. All my senses are working, and I'm concious. I realize how things are. My point is that maybe some shit needs to change.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Birthday Wish: I wish for people to treat one another better. Not just with what they say, but with what they do. Not just to say, "Look at me. I did the right thing." But because it IS the right thing to do. Not just any certain type of people either. All people. That's all.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

Never quit. Keep writing. Keep querying. Keep creating. Shed your fear, spread your wings and fly through the storm with a song in your heart. If they support you, prove 'em right. If they doubt you, prove 'em wrong. If they ignore you, create something that grabs them. Do it!

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

"If you wait until your good enough to do anything, you'll die an "almost genius" and they'll bury you dressed in your finest unused potential. Know how I know? Because I'm still waiting to be good enough, and I'm almost dead." H.D. Johnson My dad (Written the year he died)

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Everyday, a different Keanu Reeves follows me. I never follow back. But, how many Keanu Reeveses are there? 👀 And, what do they all want from me? 👀

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Apologies for my absence. I've severely restricted myself from all other activities until this screenplay is finished. Working for yourself is hard. My boss is a tyrannical asshole. 🤣

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

LoL. Gotta say this to everyone: Researching other writers, publishers and agents for info is not stalking. Watching someone eat cereal from outside their kitchen window is stalking.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

One lady is about 75. The other's gotta be 80. They're having a fistfight over a parking space. This ain't fiction. It's what I just saw while getting groceries. The lady who won cheated. She was using her walker for balance, and firing off jabs like piston. Wtf

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

It's okay to have a sick and twisted mind, as long as you've got a good benevolent heart to balance it all out.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Stereotypes are bullshit: In highschool, a woman taught me more about football than any of my male coaches. An old handicapped guy taught me how to wrestle. I went to State championship 4 years. A proud gay dude taught me how to talk to girls. Cried like a baby when he died.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

4 years

These long syrupy soliloquies on Facebook about people's spouses and children make me crinkle my nose and shake my head. Maybe I'm wrong, but telling her how I feel privately seems almost sacred. It's our time. That's what makes it so special. I don't know. What do you think?

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

My all-time favorite custom doors I've made. Actually hurt my feelings to install them on a prefab metal building, but the customer makes that call.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

5 years

Well, I'm a damn good writer. Tell your friends. Judge me. Throw flowers or rotten tomatoes. It won't change my opinion. My stuff is awesome! If I believed anything else, I'd quit. And, will NEVER quit.

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Craytus Jones (aka Bob Johnson)

@craytusjones

6 years

I'm excited. I usually don't get excited. But, I'm bouncing around like some unhinged weirdo who had too many lattes. I f*cking love writing, and screenwriting and everything else! If the odds of a concussion were not so stacked against me, I'd do a friggin cartwheel!

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