All my life I’ve had one dream: to achieve my many goals. On Twitter and for that matter Earth to make wisecracks and defend the vulnerable. What’s a “DM”? 🤔
@louisa_oeffling
@Badass4Mothers
I’m bookmarking this. If Biden wins I will retweet with kudos. If he loses, I will retweet with the biggest version of “I told you so” I can muster in light of my panic over Trump winning while we left Whitmer, Cooper, Beshear, Shapiro, Raimondo, Newsom and Harris on the bench.
@IntoTheShitter
I have 3 responses so far: 1. It’s a condition of my parole, so…. 2. It’s not the covid I’m worried about spreading, it’s the Ebola (coughing fit). 3. As someone super good looking, I appreciate the break from all the attention. Know what I mean? No, I guess you wouldn’t….
@_KayyKrueger
@conorwolves86
I’m more upset that Ariel’s tail section has both SCALES and HORIZONTAL flukes. Make up your damn mind—is she half human, half fish, or half human, half cetacean? Yea. I know. I’m a dork. Nevertheless….
@waltshaub
Why McAuliffe lost: Trump wasn't his opponent, but that's who he ran against. I honestly have no idea what his plans for Virginia were. I voted for him anyway based on the great success of Virginia under previous Democrat governors, but I think he ran a horrendous campaign.
@NuggsyMusic
@RepKatiePorter
Then don't reopen. Liability for injuries is a cost of doing business in the US. Call it "free market capitalism." Allowing businesses to negligently infect employees or customers without paying damages is genuine SOCIALISM--it passes the proprietor's costs to the taxpayer.
@VABVOX
It’s like prayer in school—I tell my kids if they tell you to pray, pray. But then refuse to stop. Pray out loud and have holy seizures all day long. Make them stop you. Make them suspend you. For praying. Then we sue for a billion dollars. And so on.
@CalltoActivism
@dhighl5184
Been there done that. Sort of. I was in a hurry to exit a secure building and pushed open the fire exit to take the only set of stairs cuz there was a huge line for the elevator. Alarm went off, they had to evacuate. Oops.
@DianneG
@tweetzydeetzy
The abortion issue (among others) would vanish overnight if states would just make it a felony to impregnate a woman without her prior consent. Some say I’m trying to control men’s bodies or am threatened by sexuality. I say they knew the consequences when they whipped it out.
@realberryhomch1
@mollypriddy
@WriterWong
Just last week I hung my farewell comments on my door that included that real leadership consists of one thing: helping others accomplish the organizational mission.
@ashleylee75
@brianstelter
@JohnKingCNN
@JoeBiden
@realDonaldTrump
Yep you nailed it. Trump can’t remember if he took a covid test, can’t describe his own health care plan, doesn’t recall who lent him $400 million, believes Osama Bin Laden is secretly alive, and never heard of QAnon even tho it’s all over the news. Obvious cognitive decline.
@JesseCharlesLee
@Osborne__Cox
Maybe, but also can’t emphasize enough anyone who thought it didn’t matter if Trump or Clinton won in 2016 is reaping exactly what they sowed. Since 1981 the Republican agenda concerning abortion access has been explicit, the plan for the court has been overt.
@gtconway3d
@realDonaldTrump
AGAIN, the FDA's mission is to make it very difficult to test drugs on human beings. That's not "deep state"--that's state. Protecting the uninformed public from predatory profiteers is the core purpose of government regulations, and for that matter, government.
@DPMCanty
Some people have big hair. Some people have short hair. Some people have boring hair. Some people have brown hair. Some people have red hair. Some people have white hair. Some people have no hair. And only sad people would say anything negative about anybody else’s hair.
@dstiddypop43
Have most of my life. Best decision I ever made. My ongoing 10-yr engagement works cuz at the end of the day I can go home and set my thermostat at whatever the f* I want.
@ClaudetteGGibs1
Oh I know this one. It’s a trick question. The murder weapon was a sharpened piece of ice and it melted after. And roosters don’t lay eggs.
@SpryWit
@WalshFreedom
Don’t fall into the “assault weapons” briar patch. Don’t let labels kill. Make it a federal offense to possess a semiautomatic firearm without a federal permit, starting in 90 days. Turn it in or obtain a permit or be prosecuted (up to 1 year in prison for each firearm). Period.
@theliamnissan
@OGNurseRatchet
It must be hard for racist losers like him to see a black man not only be a hugely successful president, but also a terrific father, and be married to such an astonishingly intelligent, accomplished, classy, kind and gorgeous woman. It twists the mind and the imagination. So sad.
@soledadobrien
The response of the officer "We got this...thanks for your concern" in a firm but non confrontational way should be in training videos, and not just for cops.
@GeorgyNowLori
I am at that age now I don’t think someone 10 years younger would want to date me,and I don’t think someone 10 years older would be able to date, period—unless you count carbon 14 dating....
@KansasGOPSlayer
@AngieHoover20
60 and no. This is may well be the last real election in the US in my lifetime. Being a large Irish-German guy from rural Ohio I can easily blend in with the New Order, but nevertheless looking at emigrating for the sake of my kids and my partner—they’re Jewish and I’m scared.
@nderssonD
@JackPosobiec
Ummm, that's as a species. As an individual, not really the way the immune system works, as millions of American Indians could attest to had they not been wiped out.
@Pensandpages
@thejackhopkins
They are the just participation trophy kids all grown up: they hate “globalists” because they fear competing on a level playing field with “inferior” races, religions, and nationalities. The great American birthright to success is all they have to fall back on at this point.
@PublicPerson4
@AdamsCumbie
The definition of “class.” The definition of “manliness.” The definition of “patriotism.” Plus he called it on the invasion of Iraq, and the need to sneak behind Pakistan’s back to get Bin Laden. Dude genuinely understood international relations and national security.
@piper4missouri
@HeatherThomasAF
Actually BANNING abortion is more comparable to slavery: it results in the state forcing one person to allow another person to exploit them as a resource.
@VashaunBlanks
@JohnFetterman
Wrong. They took a job paid by those couples’ taxes with specific duties prescribed by law and restricted by the Equal Protection Clause. If they have beliefs that conflict with a public duty they have a right to resign. Period.
@spinnerbuckle
@MysterySolvent
Biden’s deal with their problems and get right. Trumps declare bankruptcy and look for bailouts. See the difference there?
@dcwoodruff
@CheriJacobus
If that dude wins, he has an open invitation to dinner at my house. Seriously. To be rid of that national embarrassment that is Boebert worth it if he takes me up on it every night forever.
@misslelaina
@Wizards_Lady
Really. I went to counseling for a year to listen to my ex lie and blame everyone, including her parents, me and our son, for her awfulness. I’d you know the relationship is toxic, GO!
@Rogueharpie
@JKevinKeil
@jennycohn1
I think Pat Leahy has seniority. Also wouldn’t have been very useful—if election not certified, Pelosi becomes President. Unless they were planning to get her out of the way. Then Pompeo. I suspect that is what Trump is so intent on hiding, in fact.
@cpaek72
@JoshuaPHilll
I grew up in rural Ohio, lived in Alabama, North Dakota, and the Boebert loving part of Colorado. The MAGATs actually will be thrilled if prices go up and life gets even harder for them as long as they can rest assured things are even worse for black and Hispanic people.
@Ezra_Nola
@gtconway3d
When I dropped mine off I got shot twice, caught bubonic plague, and was bitten in the crotch by a crocodile, but to get Jabba the POTUS out of orange pancake and into an orange jumpsuit, it was worth it.
@JustinAHorwitz
@chipfranklin
No other president had an IQ that fell short of 3 digits. No other president had a body fat percentage above 60. And no other president was so weak he couldn’t lift a glass of water. These things DO matter because they fuel Trump’s extraordinary need to try to prove he is manly.
@WagnerRobb
@NickAdamsinUSA
Alpha males HATE other potential rival males. In nature, they fight to the death, or close. So if you find yourself hanging out munching wings with other men, you can rest assured you are NOT an alpha.
@KellyScaletta
@whocastillo
I was there. He tried some dumb things. No question. But he became president when the country was on the verge of accepting a UK-like status in a new world order. He led us out of that. And he was generally fact-based and supported the principles of democracy here and worldwide.
@build4USA
@IEMcElroy
@Delta
I am going to double mask. And if my seat mates don’t mask up, twice in the first hour whip them off to vomit in an airsickness bag. And I’m taking a tuna salad sandwich to eat in hour 2. Then more vomiting. Gonna be a loooong flight.
@CryptVanWinkle
@blaireerskine
Before I had kids I responded to that one “I may not have kids but ya ain’t gotta be Colonel Sanders to know chicken sh*t from chicken salad.”
@BradleyWhitford
@daschmidt883
Instructions for a true Christian nation are clear in Matthew 25:35-40: I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.
@dkblue20
@WalshFreedom
I spent 25 years in the military. Duty doesn’t erase fear, but renders it irrelevant to action. Catching bullets intended for innocents is a major part of what cops get paid to do. If they don’t like it, there’s an easy answer. After all, nobody is holding a gun to THEIR heads….
@NickScutari
@candice_counsel
See I would have said “That’s why I told her to knock off the smiling. It’s bad enough I’m so much prettier than everyone else, one of us needs to dial it back.”
@TizzyEnt
@ClaudetteGGibs1
So easily dealt with another way: instead of barking orders, he could have said “Hey listen. I need you to put the axe down so I feel safe coming over there. Can you do that? Otherwise I’ll get all stressed out, you’ll get dressed out, and nobody needs that.”
@HCaniglia
@wolfblitzer
Right on, cuz the president grants drilling rights, the next day the oil guys get in there and drill ‘em up some oil and you pump it right into your car. Jesus people. Get off your phone and learn something about the real world. Geology. Economics. Civics. SOMETHING.
If Democratic strategists were smart (could stop there but...) they would get behind the lie that antifa infiltrated the insurrectal mob of white nationalists so the leaders of police and military will be quicker to respond and with more appropriate violence next time they act.
Maintaining their 30-year track record for doing everything they can to ensure their state goes from being the heart of American industry to a hopeless welfare case.
@CGweilo
@JRubinBlogger
Oh god, that's so clever. Oh, my sides. The laughing. DId you stay up all night working on that or is the genius just like a bolt of lightning? Cuz really, you are on another level. Panties. Insync (spelled wrong to even funnier, I guess). Please, tweet more! More!
I do not believe anyone fears Trump—but I believe they bought into his new way to “win” with no need to do the hard work of innovating or negotiating policy: 1. Exacerbate division. 2. Sympathize with grievance. 3. Deny facts. TrumpISM took over the GOP.
@nathaliejacoby1
Thinking 🤔. Seriously. I was a born again Christian until I saw so many parallels to other non-Western religions and realized there are memes that fill innate spiritual/emotional needs, and I just asked myself point blank if I really believed anyone had mystical insight. Nope.
@cmclymer
One oft ignored aspect of this is the story of Sham. In any other year, Sham would have won the Triple Crown, but he had the bad luck of being born the same year as Secretariat. The moral: in sports, unless you are the one true GOAT, winning is always partly pure random chance.
“Antifa infiltrators are attacking the synagogue again!” or “Antifa infiltrators have kidnapped the governor again!” Or “Antifa infiltrators with torches defending Confederate statues again!” certain to get a quick and overwhelming response.
@NuggsyMusic
@RepKatiePorter
And when insurance won't cover something, and people can't sue, and they work in food service, retail, etc., their damages medical costs, rehab costs, and lost wages are paid via social services, i.e., taxpayer money. Their pain and suffering? I guess no one cares.
@PrezLives2022
💯. She was
#12
on my wish list for president this year. Not even top 10. I had 3 Republicans above her, even. But Trump is
#7
,365,241 on my list. Day one of early voting I will be waiting in line like it’s a Star Wars convention and voting for her with 0 hesitation.