Ray Bradshaw @comedyray Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Marcus Rashford in lockdown has Started a charity that raised £20 million and helped feed 2.8 million children. Launched a Christmas Box campaign with Selfridges to help Manchester's homeless. Learned sign language to judge a poetry competition in a deaf school. He's 22.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Someone just shouted out 'Boris Johnson has fucking Coronavirus' in Morissons. That is how I found out. What a year.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Simon Kjaer stopped Eriksen from swallowing his tongue, put him in the recovery position and started cpr before the medics got there. He then consoled Eriksen's partner with the world watching. Player of the tournament already for me and a proper role model. What a captain.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

25 days

Get this on the Scottish £20 note

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Stanley Johnson not wearing a mask is nowhere near as bad as Stanley Johnson not wearing a condom in 1963.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

"First person to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final where all three were over the line" Give Ally McCoist the Freedom of Scotland for that one piece of commentary.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Scotland only being good at sport during a global pandemic is the most Scottish thing ever.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

This is the hunger games for ginger people.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

1 year

Sarah Bellum

@tamsully12

1 year

WITHOUT GOOGLING Name a famous historic battle.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Karma is singing 'Scotland gets battered everywhere they go' and then watching your hero cry after being beat by a Scottish guy wearing leopard print trousers.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

This funeral is going to be absolute box office.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Just got sent this by a mate in Australia. Turns out Winston from Still Game is a Police Commisioner over there.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 months

Breaking news: Scotland are better than Brazil.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

If you've ever eaten here after a night out then you don't need to worry what's in the Covid vaccine.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Just got to Belfast. People on the flight next to me were going to see John Bishop tonight. Told them I saw him in Glasgow and the support act was amazing. They'll get a nice surprise when I walk on stage tonight.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

People with refugee status got to vote in the Scottish elections today for the first time ever. Very proud to be Scottish when I read that.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

11 months

Scotland qualifying easily for a major tournament whilst it's 26 degrees in September is a sign of the apocalypse.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Chiellini would 100% put his cock in your pint for a laugh when you go to the toilet.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Scotland v England on 18th June. Lyndon Dykes is going to ragdoll Harry Maguire so much he'll think he's a Greek police officer.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Hope Celtic get stuck in Dubai for 6 months and have to play friendlies against teams of Influencers also stuck out there.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 months

Official uefa squad picture of John Mcginn. Hero.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

The Super League proposal is actually 13 teams but Dundee's email hasn't reached their inbox yet.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Shout out to Scotrail for really getting into the spirit of Cop26 by making their trains zero emissions by simply not running any.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

5 years

English people don't realise that if two Scottish people meet up in England one of the first things we discuss is how shite your tap water is.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Not Wordle, just Barisic at the third goal 🟦 🟦 🟦 🟩 🟦 🟩 🟩

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Going to be watching this every night before I go to bed until the world cup starts.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Celtic and Lennon are like a couple in their early 20s. They both know they're about to part ways but they had a trip to Milan booked and in the end it was just easier to go.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

The temperature in Scotland today is what a Greggs worker would call 'a wee bit of heat'.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Salah's goals tonight are the best hat-trick at Ibrox since the one by the magician that's still owed £3000 from 2012.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

The new Dunfermline manager looks like he's about to tell you that you've just been approved finance on a Nissan Qashqai.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

If Rangers and Celtic agree to get married then they could have 50,000 attending on the 2nd January.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Hate when there's a bit of a scrap on the pitch and the commentator describes it as something 'nobody likes to see' when it's all we ever want to see.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Liz Truss lasted 24 days less in 10 Downing Street than the Chilean Miners did underground.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Walked by George Square this afternoon and I've never felt more attractive in my life.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Call me old fashioned but if I was Raith Rovers and was sponsored by a well known feminist that has a stand named after her and who had been outspoken about not signing a convicted sex offender I would then not go and sign that player.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

8 years

If you moan that football is on TV too much just remember that when it stopped for 2 days we left Europe and our Prime Minister resigned.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Remember after 88 minutes when the commentators were talking about how superior English football is for having 2 teams in the final only for City to concede 3 times in 5 minutes and then lose the game? That's going straight in my wank bank.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

1 month

Spain v Germany at 5pm on a Friday is the most crack open a can game to ever exist.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Hang this up in Kelvingrove.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

The Australian The Australian I fancied I fancy now growing up

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

This is the first time ever it has been Fanta Lemon weather in Scotland.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

6 years

Probably the best complaint you'll see all day.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

5 years

A munchie box is just Glaswegian Tapas.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

The scorer of the winner of Scotland's first ever penalty shoot out. What a country.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

The racist pricks in George Square tonight make me embarrassed to be Scottish. Refugees are more than welcome here.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

The last time we had a midweek game at Parkhead between Celtic and Rangers there were 3 red cards and a manager square go that led to a government summit. The cinch has a lot to live up to tonight.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Proud of Scotland for choosing to boycott the Qatar world cup for them violating human rights.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Billy Gilmour being man of the match on his first start and then being ruled out with covid is more Scottish than Deep Fried Tablet.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Thats the biggest dive by Sterling since the Brexit vote was announced.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Siri. Show me perfection.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 months

ITV will let us know about Tierneys injury tomorrow at half time after a 7 minute interview about how many pillows Gareth Southgate uses.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Throwing a pint in the air when Scotland score is a lot less fun when its in your own house.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

I once coerced my wife into being induced to go into labour and have our baby so I could stop people talking about an illegal party in my living room that I said I didn't know about.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

6 years

Big fan of Scott Brown calling Ajer 'A big fucking shitebag' for coming off injured.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Allison has scored the same amount of Premier League goals this season as Oli McBurnie.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Love Scotland just turning into the Harlem Globetrotters against the 10th best team in the world.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Rio Ferdinand has said so many stupid things in the past few weeks that if England lose he'll be avoiding twitter like a drugs test in 2003.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

27 days

BBC and ITV are both showing the final on Sunday. Channel 4 and 5 are missing a trick. Show it but get a heavily biased Scottish panel. Andy Murray on commentary just saying how pish England have been. Frankie Boyle doing post match interviews. Record viewing figures guaranteed

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

If Sturgeon is serious about closing the borders then she should stick Dykes, Gallagher and Considine at the bottom of the M74 and they can header English cars away.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Dundee being in a relegation battle and appointing a new manager that has to serve a six match ban before he can be in a dugout proves once again that the Cinch is unrivalled.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

5 years

Douglas Ross, Tory Mp and football ref just voted against legalising gay marriage in Northern Ireland. If he's officiating in a Thistle game whilst we're wearing this strip I will happily pay the fine for any player who is booked for taking it off and holding it in his face.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

You can really separate the regular joggers from the ones doing it to escape the house just now. Some running by you in under armour hi-vis and others in a Marseille 2003 away top and Adidas Sambas.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 months

3 group stage games. 4 shots on target in total in all 3 combined. An absolute riddy. Fans deserved more.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 months

When Scotland goes independent they should put this historical landmark on the tenner note.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

I really wanted the wee man to learn sign language growing up because it's a big part of my life. He is absolutely smashing it so far and it makes me so happy. *No baby was harmed in the signing of the word Pirate.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

5 years

Great result for the Scottish judges taking a 3-0 home win down south and getting a huge 11-0 away win. Big move for the coefficient.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

My Dad is deaf and worried about communicating with people in shops due to staff wearing masks. One of the exemptions for removing a mask is when communicating with someone who needs to lip read. Spread the word and help the 9 million people who are deaf or hard of hearing.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Liz Truss has been in power for 17 days and in that time the Queen has died, the pound is at its lowest since 1985 and England have been relegated.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Football teams announcing their line ups in numerical order rather than by position is one of the worst things to ever happen to the game.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Phil Foden Phil Foden Usually against Stephen O'Donnell

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

I reckon there's more chance of me having a fringe in August than Edinburgh.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

Big fan of Hamilton sacking their commentator tonight for saying jobby but not the person that sent £600,000 off to a Nigerian Prince.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Other countries giving Ukraine tanks and weapons and Scotland just giving them four yards unmarked in our penalty box.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Rangers surely favourite for penalties seeing as they've had £72 million worth of them from HMRC in the past 10 years.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Can't wait to see the episode of Border Patrol where Novak Djokovic gets refused entry to Australia in-between someone getting fined for bringing in chicken feet in their luggage and someone finding 300 scorpions being sent by post.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

The fact you can watch England games on council telly up here but not Scotland games is an international war crime.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

7 years

Nothing sums up how fucking weird 2017 has been already more than Wagner being at the Hamilton v Dundee United playoff match.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

I would say I'm currently thinking about Scotland playing at the Euros 95% of the time and the other 5% is what I'm going to wear for when we get to the final.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

5 years

To be fair to the queen, if your son was about to be unveiled as a sex offender you'd probably do something to distract people as well.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

6 years

Shite when you spend ages trying to argue that Thistle fans aren't all middle class and then you walk into the Firhill toilets and see a bottle of merlot.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

9 months

Big fan of Craig Levein. Interviewed him on radio about facing Messi in a friendly when he was Dundee Utd manager. He said he didn't play that day. 5 minutes later we got an email saying he did play and scored a hat-trick. That's the level of insight St Johnstone are getting.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

5 years

The SFA have found Steve Clarke guilty of a breach of rule 72 for speaking out about referees and will punish him by making him Scotland manager.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Hi @BBC . Most of Scotland pay their tv license every year. Please show us the fan zone reaction for every England missed penalty. Thanks.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

When the first lockdown happened I pretty much lost all my work for the year in a day. Today I have been on Sky Sports News, hosted a show on Radio Scotland and then did 2 gigs at The Glee in Glasgow. I've been waiting 15 months for a day like this and it was fucking glorious.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

11 days

Andy Murray coming back from 5 match points in his potential final game is the most Andy Murray thing ever. The Scottish 🐐.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

There's about 300 pubs in the city centre. If you walked by a picket line last night to go into this specific one then you're an absolute weapon.

Better Than Zero

@betterthanzero

3 years

Happening right now in Glasgow. The workers at MacMerry and Abandon Ship won't back down. There's power in a union.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

7 days

Happy retirement to Andy Murray. To get to an Olympic quarter final with a metal hip is unreal. Add in going through what he went through as a school kid before competing and winning regularly against the 3 best tennis players of all time is astonishing. Scotland's greatest.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Huge respect for the Danish team standing around Eriksen to block the cameras. Must be a horrible situation to be in but that's a proper team spirit there.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

Just a reminder that Scotland have won more International tournaments this millennium than England have.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Sad thing is that all the Will Smith and Chris Rock nonsense has totally overshadowed Coda winning Best Film and the incredible Troy Katsur becoming the first deaf man to win an Oscar. A great film that is inclusive, representative and makes me very proud to be a Coda myself.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 years

As a fan of a team that has suffered back to back relegation it is very enjoyable to currently watch Celtic fans losing their minds after winning 11 trophies in 4 years.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

1 month

Douglas Ross lost his seat so he now has more time to spend on his other jobs; being an MSP, being a linesman and being breastfed by his mum.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

10 months

Uefa changing their decision for Mctominays goals to be disallowed from a foul to offside after 10 minutes. Can't be clear and obvious if it takes longer than Bohemian Rhapsody.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

Shout out to everyone in Scotland watching the champions league final in a pub who will now have to leave before half time to get their last train home.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

This game should be on STV with Scottish commentary. Instead of going to Peter Walton for a check to see if it's a penalty for a foul on Kane just going to Lorraine Kelly who replies 'was it fuck'.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

If you didn't have a small doubt that Ryan Christie was going to hit that penalty into row Z then you might not be Scottish.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 months

Can't stop thinking about the counter attack from Che Adams that was the slowest I've ever seen.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

4 months

Lucky then that we've been training for this since we were 14.

STV News

@STVNews

4 months

Scotland fans warned German beer is stronger ahead of Euro 2024

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

3 years

I fucking hated every second of that and also fucking loved every second of that.

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Ray Bradshaw

@comedyray

2 years

The most Scottish stat ever : Ireland have scored more goals in the first 50 minutes against Scotland than they did in their previous 12 Nations Leagues games combined.

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