Rachel Bean, dauer formation @colocha_rachel Twitter profile

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 months

We won’t be quiet and we won’t forget.

Fiqah is @sassycrass.bsky.social

@sassycrass

9 months

I'm going to say, again, that when long COVID effects kill me - sooner than later - I need y'all to recognize and say LOUDLY what it was. Long COVID is keeping my blood pressure at 230/128, in spite of taking an elaborate cocktail of meds. Long COVID is shredding my kidneys.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

The number of people I know in my life that had Covid and “recovered” with “no issues” but also report seemingly unrelated things like increased fatigue, new or increased depression, inability to concentrate, digestive issues, more need for sleep, food aversions…

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

A phenomenon I’ve been observing but haven’t seen talked about much: people are leaving their jobs and not immediately returning to work because once they stop working for 5 minutes they realize their bodies are screaming at them not to go back.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I really thought the pandemic conditions would radicalize way more people.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

Can I say a slightly spicy thing? I think we need to talk about treatment of protesters by police with just as much fervor as we talk about treatment of journalists. It’s jarring the way so many people come to the defense of journalists & don’t bring that energy for protesters.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

Fun fact. You don't have to be whatever you think an activist or organizer is. You can just be a person who is choosing to connect with their community, aligning on the side of more health, more safety, more justice, and then provide care where you can.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I had an asymptomatic acute case of Covid 25 months ago and it disabled me out of the workforce completely. I had an *asymptomatic* acute case of Covid *two years and one month ago* and it disabled me out of the workforce completely.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

… almost makes me not believe you when you say you’re as recovered as you claim.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

This concerns me. This is how people end up with ME: not taking their vague and diffuse bodily experiences as indicators of ongoing *illness*. They return to life, working, socializing, caring for their people… until they are stopped in their tracks and, simply, can’t.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I’m seeing it happen a lot lately and I don’t think that’s just a blip. I think the Exit is still happening, people’s bodies are quitting on them whether or not they’re sick, and more & more people are realizing that working (hard, a lot) doesn’t insulate you from precarity.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

They’re all people who said they were planning to return to work or immediately start looking for a new job and suddenly find that they just can’t. They can’t bring themselves to even start looking for jobs.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

7 years

The passive voice needs to retire. Police killed a boy while he was in police custody.

ABC News

@ABC

7 years

17-year-old male found fatally shot in back seat of a police cruiser in Akron, Ohio, police say.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

We’ve all felt that feeling of “I just can’t make myself Do The Thing”. But it’s about work, *existentially*, not work, the shift you’re supposed to cover this weekend.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

Wanted to link this reply to the original thread because I think this conditioning to always blame vague and diffuse symptoms on “lifestyle choices” or only prescribe “lifestyle changes” as treatment interventions is a big part of the problem with MECFS and related conditions.

Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

@ibsroyalty It is sad!! And it’s also… we’re conditioned to think that all of our bodily problems are the result of “lifestyle choices” not real illness. Fatigue? Diet & excercise? Insomnia? Get better sleep hygiene. Digestive issues? Do an elimination diet, go keto, stop eating gluten…

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

And, sitting out here in Disabled Space at the edge of capitalism, I want to whisper to all of those people “don’t go back”. “Listen to your body and your gut and your spirit and don’t go back.” I know working disabled and pre-disabled people hate hearing this.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

Good morning. This is a thread of some updates on the sanctuary hotel happening at the former Sheraton at Chicago & Lake Street in South Minneapolis. A group negotiated a take over of the hotel with the support of the owner on Saturday. We moved 100+ unsheltered people in.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

But I think you should fucking listen to what your body is telling you!! I don’t think that existential dread should be ignored! And you’ll say “I could never do that” which is what we ALL said until our body decided for us and we no longer were in control of those choices.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

Also! Viral injuries stack up on each other and can cause relatively gradual decrease in functioning over time after each additional viral illness. If you had mono (EBV) before or H1N1, influenza, other SARS, RSV… you may have seemingly recovered only to be worse post-Covid.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

The thing where people have “good” politics until it comes to fatness and disability.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I’m just wondering, hypothetically, what millions of people who are unable to work due to #LongCovid and related illnesses are supposed to do when the savings, retirement, credit lines, and crowdfunding all dry up? Like what is the suggested next step after that?

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I remember really having to grapple with myself about whether my less-than-ideal bodily function was my fault (too fat, too lazy, too gluttonous) or actual illness. Still do sometimes. I know it’s hard to navigate.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

And I just… wish y’all weren’t so defensive about the meaning behind that bodily refusal toward work and that marrow-deep exhaustion you feel. I wish you would just *consider* the ~possibility~ that your body is RIGHT in its refusal to seek work.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 years

At times depression looks like irritability, anger, low energy, no interest, apathy, going thru motions. Often it doesn't look like sadness.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I *know* this because I just went through this exact same existential crisis last year. Mine was tangled up in Long Covid but also was threaded with deep existential refusal on the part of my body and spirit to even think about work anymore. We’re not meant to live like this.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I think long-haulers and other chronically ill people need to start coalescing around guaranteed income efforts as opposed to disability benefits.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

1 year

As a disabled person, these grocery and delivery prices are really starting to stress me out.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

Footnote: There is no such thing as too fat, too lazy, or too gluttonous. Please extricate this idea from your thinking. That said, we’re all forced to swim in the waters of anti-fatness and diet culture so we all are conditioned to believe this about ourselves.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

And frankly, I know a not insignificant number of people who have had Covid two or more times. I’ve had it two confirmed times and one unconfirmed time in January 2020. Those viral injuries also are stacking up for people. And with a frequency much faster than pre-pandemic.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

wow that’s a legit crowd.

Nick Streiff

@nickstreiff

2 years

Protesters now marching through downtown Minneapolis. #AmirLocke @WCCO

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

Listen. That activation you feel when you start thinking about work is because your body *feels unsafe*. Your body, knowing it cannot sustain what work demands of it in 2022, doesn’t *trust* you or your work environment because you/work don’t heed its quieter alarm bells.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I think getting as many people anti-virals like Paxlovid as possible is a *key* early intervention to reduce viral persistence in the body but the only other reliable intervention we have is ~radical rest~.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

Let’s not lose sight of why Uptown Minneapolis became this most recent focus of attention: a man was executed by a nameless team of federal agents in plainclothes. People decided that story should not be allowed to be power-washed away.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I was dealing with chronic/long-term illness before Covid but it’s been remarkably more disabling to be a long-hauler. Having been long-hauling for the last 25 months gives me an interesting vantage point on these recent omicron surges watching loved ones get their first Covid.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

Everyone *has to* work until they’re so disabled they literally can’t. What if you also can’t anymore? What if you listened to what your inner wisdom already knows? What if none of us can keep this up forever?

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

@ibsroyalty It is sad!! And it’s also… we’re conditioned to think that all of our bodily problems are the result of “lifestyle choices” not real illness. Fatigue? Diet & excercise? Insomnia? Get better sleep hygiene. Digestive issues? Do an elimination diet, go keto, stop eating gluten…

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I intimately know what happens when you stop working and just send a prayer on the wind that you’ll… survive without a job. And the thing is, you do survive. And, in a lot of ways, it’s actually better. More liberated. More possibility. More autonomy and self-determination.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I’m seeing postpartum moms who are losing their minds feeling forced into going back to work. I’m seeing line cooks walking off the job with no plan. I’m seeing clinical social workers “decide live on savings for a few months”. I’m seeing all kinds of people ask for leaves.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 months

I voted UNCOMMITTED.

Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 months

I’m voting with @uncommittedmn tomorrow! Are you?

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 💥

Freedom Road Socialist Organization - Twin Cities

@FRSO_TwinCities

2 years

AMAZING! Many thousands of high school students from around the Twin Cities marching from Central High School in St Paul to the governor's mansion to demand #JusticeForAmirLocke #Blacklivesmatter

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

NorthStar is a street medic collective here in Minneapolis. They are rad. Donate your money.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

What if we all dropped out together? What if you came and lived with us in the Disability Space at the edge of capitalism instead? What if you stepped off the lurching work machine and stepped outside for some fresh air?

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

There’s more I want to say but I’m losing steam. But your body is telling you what it needs and I just want you to consider the possibility that you’ll still survive even if you don’t go back to work (right away, yet, ever).

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I wonder what would have happened if I had listened to my body before it reached defcon levels. I imagine what would happen if we *all* heeded this refusal. What collective refusal might be like.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

We need to bear witness but we also need to use these videos to prepare ourselves. This kind of repression is coming for all of us.

Read Let This Radicalize You

@JoshuaPHilll

4 years

This is the most insane image from Portland last night. Don’t let anyone ignore what’s happening there.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

What would happen if you honored your body’s refusal?

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 years

I experience my depression primarily as exhaustion, lethargy, and extremely low motivation.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

This is a test. Interact with this tweet if you see it.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 months

“Hopelessness is a form of silence, of denying the world and fleeing from it. The dehumanization resulting from an unjust order is not a cause for despair but for hope, leading to the incessant pursuit of the humanity denied by injustice.” - Paulo Freire

🇵🇸🔻#AqsaFlood 🪂☭

@Marxozoic

8 months

We Palestinians haven't lost hope, and you shouldn't either.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

A couple people have talked to me about how “bad” an educators’ strike would be. How hard it would be on everyone. And I’d just like to say, if teachers are considering a strike in the numbers that they are, it must be really bad and really hard and totally untenable already.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

Possibly the most unsettling thing *to me* is the way we all just.... keep working, keep doing our routine activities in the midst of a massive unraveling at the governmental level. We should all be recovering, processing with our community, caring for each other... not working.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

But my body continued to refuse and there was less & less I could do about it until finally, by August 2021, it was my employer asking me to leave bc I couldn’t do my job at all. The only difference was a few more months of self-loathing and guilt and an even sicker body.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

When my disabled oracle friend sang this same siren song to me in March 2021, I had a laundry list of reasons why I couldn’t drop out. Why I HAD to keep working even as the bodily refusal was like concrete in my bones. I was mad that they just “didn’t understand” why I had to.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

My heart is breaking from the rage and grief.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 years

#MyDepressionLooksLike high functioning, hard working on the outside and lethargy, self-loathing, and exhaustion on the inside.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

It’s weird to remember that this isn’t apparently a widely known thing if you weren’t actually there & participating in the ongoing uprising. Moving community supplies around the city was a HUGE part of Floyd week & many of those efforts evolved into ongoing mutual aid projects.

Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

@lasantacilla all the liberated target stuff being immediately turned into community supplies was amazing.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

6 years

You know what I miss? When Twitter used to get quiet late at night and it was just you and 3 other insomniacs keeping each other company.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

This shit happening in Brooklyn Center tonight is fucked up even if it might technically look less gory than all the munitions. It feels very clear to me that cops are not taking direction from city leadership. Each night they find a new way to work “around” the restrictions.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

If 30%-40% of people not being able to return to work post-Covid isn’t a clear case for guaranteed income, I truly don’t know what is.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

I just hope everyone realizes that the way homeless folks are being treated now is how we’re alllll going to be treated as evictions skyrocket and no relief comes. They always test their repression on the most disenfranchised and marginalized groups first.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I’ve been talking about this wrt my personal situation on my private account but it’s worth naming publicly that folks disabled by Long Covid are being forced to make decisions like “choosing homelessness” and that’s just going to keep happening until we reorganize work/money.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 years

All I'm saying is check on your people. Often. Especially if they don't necessarily *seem* like they're struggling.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

7 months

Omg omg omg the judge approved my SSDI application this morning. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 years

I'm introverted yes, but maintaining friendships is next to impossible bc I just do not have mental or practical energy to stay connected.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

September 10th 2021 was my last day at my job after they asked me to resign because I could no longer perform my duties due to #LongCovid . It’s been 51 weeks and I’m no closer to recovering or returning to work.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

5 years

I assume Barbara Ehrenreich will delete this racist/xenophobic tweet but let’s not forget that even otherwise “progressive” white folks have a huge capacity for racism.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

I would like to raise up the fact that Black youth in Minneapolis were calling for abolition of police, calling for cops out of schools, and for more material supports of Black, queer, disabled, trans, and Muslim women and non-binary folks five, six years ago.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

8 years

But many high and low functioning depressed people don't experience their depression as sadness and it's dangerous to frame it that way.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I’ve never really listened to Harry speak before but I watched this and was struck by his thoughtfulness, tenderness, and vulnerability paired with razor sharp clarity and stark analysis.

Hopewell Chin’ono

@daddyhope

2 years

The complications of marrying black when in the Royal Family, how the British press haunted Prince Harry and his wife Meghan. He speaks about how he was let down by his own family, something he was not allowed to say too. Press thugs like @piersmorgan continue to insult them.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

This is probably too nuanced a take for Twitter but I’ll always be mad that Minnesota sanitized the rioting and burning of buildings here by suggesting most of it happened due to outside white supremacist folks. That’s not the complete or accurate narrative.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

I love when @MetroTransitMN drivers refuse to work with police. More of that, please.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

Good morning. A few updates from the Minneapolis hotel sanctuary: The hotel sanctuary is currently fully occupied and the waitlist is 115 people long as of this morning. We need another hotel.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I think my unemployment runs out at the end of the month. I think this is the end of the line on any more money coming in and I’m starting to panic. Not everyone disabled by #LongCovid can move in with their parents or live off their spouse’s income and we have no plan.

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@colocha_rachel

8 years

Lots of your depressed friends are taking care of their other depressed, mentally ill & traumatized family& friends. Check on all of them.

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@colocha_rachel

6 years

I really need otherwise “progressive” types to deeply interrogate their fatphobia and their ableism and how they connect to capitalist values and classism.

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@colocha_rachel

2 years

An MPD officer “protecting” all the locked up body wash at the Walgreens on Broadway. Ugh it’s just so ugly.

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@colocha_rachel

3 years

I think there’s this underlying assumption around protesters “signed up for” violence from the police when that is just a categorically shitty premise to operate from and deeply ignores how power functions.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

I’ve talked about this before and I’ve had roles as frontline protester and as documentarian (never proper press though). But it alarms me how protecting journalists seems to overwhelmingly be the talk and relative silence about others getting the same abysmal treatment.

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@colocha_rachel

8 years

I've seen a number of "high-functioning depression" popular articles lately and I have a small bone to pick.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

I might get judged for this but honestly, people who really go out of their way to distinguish themselves as activists and organizers as if they are separate (and more noble) than everyone else who is contributing to building the future is so exhausting and annoying to me.

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@colocha_rachel

8 years

If you're anti-Black, anti-Muslim, anti-protest? Don't call yourself a fan of Muhammed Ali.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

Hey Minneapolis. Take a look at the number in yellow.

Tricia Pendergrast, MD

@trpender

3 years

Sometimes i catch myself thinking "hey, maybe city leadership is doing its best considering the lack of support from the federal level," but then i remember we could have not spent 37 percent of our city budget on policing and we could have supported small businesses just fine

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@colocha_rachel

4 years

For all the shit-talking I do about Minneapolis and the type of place Minneapolis is, I gotta say: Minneapolis is doing the damn thing and just keep getting it done. Money is re-distributing. Housing is getting acquired. Neighborhoods are organizing. We are *doing* the future.

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@colocha_rachel

3 years

how how it it’s started going

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@colocha_rachel

8 years

So I go to work. I even do my job well for the most part. But it's literally all I can do in a day. MAYBE work out, shower, or grocery shop.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

This is also a test (tweeting from the app not the private browser). Interact with it if you see it please and thank you.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

We have been able to defend the sanctuary with a volunteer defense overnights. We have been able to secure a stable funding stream to cover the cost of the hotel rooms. And we've been able to secure food donations and meals for nearly 200 people daily.

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@colocha_rachel

3 years

work less. any opportunity you have to work less without jeopardizing your ability to live, you should take it.

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@colocha_rachel

3 years

We still haven’t heard anything from the woman in the car either. -no video of any kind -no names of officers -no statement from the primary witness -no statements from almost any witnesses -evidence of social media surveillance -evidence of social media suppression

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@colocha_rachel

4 years

We are staffing the hotel and YOU can sign up for a shift if you want to get involved with this project. I'll provide links below. This is a community-driven project because the city and county waited too long to act to safely get unsheltered people off the street.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

Further, protesters get turned into a monolithic crowd but individual protesters are more likely to be Black and/or poor and/or youth and/or disabled than the formal press are. Press need to leverage their relative protections and access to power on behalf of protesters too.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

I don’t know why the Holistic Psychologist is suddenly all over my timeline but be aware she was extensively called out by many people, including other credentialed helping professionals, in 2019 and 2020. There’s a lot you can read about it if you’re interested.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

There’s nothing more to be said that hasn’t been said or tried already. The Minneapolis Police have to go.

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@colocha_rachel

1 year

Something I think is super obvious to #pwME (and maybe ME clinicians or researchers) but not to the rest of the people around us is that often we can Do The Thing. Once. We can Do The Thing once but we can’t repeat Doing The Thing on an ongoing/recurring basis.

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@colocha_rachel

3 years

George Floyd Square was not closed. The city tried to open it to car traffic by rearranging a bunch of concrete barriers which the people then immediately closed to car traffic again. Don’t let the city’s narrative turn into your narrative about what’s happening at that space.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

1 year

wow I am just fully haunted by the sheer number of cops that showed up to a homeless encampment eviction sweep when supposedly we have an understaffed police department. like those videos are not leaving my head any time soon.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

Is there a manual for when you’re disabled by a novel illness and an absence of any public health whatsoever but also you can’t get disability income and even if you could, it’s not enough to live on? Is there a flowchart? #LongCovid

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

4 years

There are 136 rooms at the former Sheraton. Our sanctuary is using close to 90 of the rooms and we already have a waitlist of people waiting to get into rooms if/when they become available.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

3 years

I think Patience was also getting to this point around how credentialed versus uncredentialed press/documentarians creates this false dichotomy about who should get access and who should be protected.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

imagine being a doctor and hearing dozens or hundreds of patients reporting that they have all these issues post-Covid and thinking “is this a real condition?”. the unmitigated gall is shocking.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

5 years

I know a lot of people are talking about homeless folks because of the extreme weather (see my thread on why that bothers me). I wanted to offer a few extra perspective things on why people can’t access shelter or don’t want to.

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Rachel Bean, dauer formation

@colocha_rachel

2 years

And the scale of it will be something of a force. Not everyone can live on their spouse’s income or move back in with their parents and those seem to be the only available “solutions” to a mass disabling event we haven’t even seen the worst of yet.

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