cluedont @cluedont Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@BrawlStars

@k1mpure

@foutez_moi_la_p

@MeTooFieldwork

@simanabed

@slog3t

@NeaoBo

@TheLawyerAfrica

@falsvy

@dracaryshate

@falsvy

@AliceNyanNya

@slog3t

@Antivazeloss

@Firz1o

@sampage

@sosclabab

@kamarilaymar

@laaabyriiinth

@10Deniz19

@davidayumwilyim

@PostEmoRecords

@Anntonyja137696

@Dont_panic749

@justindanyv

@fabricadepiadas

@MatandySteel

@cg_special

@himejiori

@uuzilla

@thankneext

@ZackZukri

@zhhb_ph

@duraanali522

@DammyLagos

cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

Day 18 of lock down. Filled the dog with helium.

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@cluedont

15 days

This is STILL happening. Sort it out ⁦ @Keir_Starmer ⁩.

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@cluedont

3 years

The joy.

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@cluedont

2 years

BBC: 'Much of Scotland's coastline still being battered.' They will literally deep fry anything.

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@cluedont

1 month

Just Stop Oil protestors arrive in Germany ahead of tonight's big clash with Greenpeace.

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@cluedont

4 years

Chris Rea's full name is Christmas Rearrangements.

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@cluedont

4 years

Robbie Williams releasing a covid Christmas song reminds me of that time I tried to cheer everyone up with some wasps.

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@cluedont

2 years

I stayed at my mum's a few weeks ago. She sent me this in the post today.

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@cluedont

3 months

Someone said 'We should play football with a bowling ball on a pitch of Lego' and someone else said 'Yes'.

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@cluedont

2 years

Octopussy.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

My son's laugh whilst watching his favourite show should help lift the gloom on a particularly shitty news day.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

Nobody: Hooded grebes:

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 months

Me when I put a tea towel over my shoulder and check on my son's fish fingers.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

A dog has jumped 31 feet, setting a new world record. What have you done?

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cluedont

@cluedont

10 years

When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

When the MDMA kicks in.

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@cluedont

2 years

Waitrose copywriter doing some real heavy lifting here.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

These duty free perfume staff seem a bit full on.

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cluedont

@cluedont

1 month

The Man from Del Cunte.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

How grapes are made.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

I rarely go more than a week without thinking about how this fella waves.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Just got thrown out of here for jumping around. :(

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Amazing how they mimic parents so accurately.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

How grapes are made.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

The Man from Delcunte.

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cluedont

@cluedont

10 years

Don't worry if you've forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it's fine.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

I have a feeling 'the animals of Bury' would have been a better choice.

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@cluedont

1 month

Turmeric looking at your kitchen worktop.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

Just my normal cat being all normal.

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cluedont

@cluedont

10 years

Jurassic Park is on, and I can't not think of this. One of the funniest YouTube comments ever. http://t.co/eF9EkDgNev

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

This guy knows.

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cluedont

@cluedont

11 years

Interviewer: 'So where do you see yourself in 5-years time?' Me: 'My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly.'

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@cluedont

6 years

Alpacas being alarmed by a hedgehog is my new favourite thing.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

If the judge didn't say 'Tank fly boss walk jam nitty-gritty you’re guilty of assaulting Professor Chris Whitty' then what's the point.

BBC Breaking News

@BBCBreaking

3 years

Man pleads guilty to assaulting England's chief medical officer Chris Whitty in central London

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Didn't think anything would be as annoying as a food shortage caused by Brexit but then I saw the words 'sandwich artist'.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Think I'll just go to the tomato festival.

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cluedont

@cluedont

7 years

....listicexpialidocious.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

Sound on.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

The search for the world's most stupid person has come to a ridiculous end.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

👌

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Terrible news about Piers Morgan. Still alive at 53.

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cluedont

@cluedont

10 years

'Bob died!' 'Oh God! Really? How old was he?' 'Bixty meven' 'Christ, that's no age is it.'

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

The best picture of a cat taking a selfie that you'll see all day.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

There's no point using Latin phrases if you don't understand what they mean, and vice versa.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

To think that I've deleted tweets before because of a double space.

Liz Truss

@trussliz

13 years

Used to see Jimmy Savile at the Flying Pizza on Street Lane, Roundhay. Always in good spirits. RIP

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

If anyone needs a taxidermied badger that's been turned into a theremin, I saw this one for sale on Facebook earlier.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Who did this.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

Clapham posties had to all be rounded up after accidentally eating edibles.

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cluedont

@cluedont

7 years

How to confuse an idiot.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Once you start calling these 'man get out' you'll never go back.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Cashier: '£1.49 please.' Me: *hands over £20* Cashier: 'Have you got anything smaller?' Me: *hands over matchbox containing tiny beetle*

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Client: Did you get the email? Media planner: What email?

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cluedont

@cluedont

7 years

A rare glimpse of an inner-city bollard charmer in action.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

No matter how enraged Germaine Greer is about something, she’ll never be as irate as her sister Anne.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

The Magnum, P.I. writers were clearly knee-deep in bud that day.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Can't do anything any more.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

So a man took that $120k art banana off the wall and ate it. Because why not.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

This video is even better if you imagine it's being filmed by a mouse with an iPhone.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

Is this real?

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

Why have they just used two pictures of David Beckham instead of showing the man in debt?

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

No thanks.

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cluedont

@cluedont

11 years

So I've been applying for jobs from my Hotmail, which uses my MSN profile pic, which I've realised is actually this. http://t.co/8jEtvLXTyO

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cluedont

@cluedont

9 years

Always put the important stuff in the first part of your tweet, because no one will cat basket the walnuts if there's pickletits at the end.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Reminds me of that time at Old Trafford when United players were surrounding the ref whilst a Spurs player was busy confronting a streaker.

Richard Osman

@richardosman

6 years

Also, maddest frame of snooker ever on Eurosport right now

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

The cutest truce you'll ever see.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

If you say this quickly is sounds like a made up pharmaceutical.

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cluedont

@cluedont

1 year

Once you start calling these 'man get out' you'll never go back.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

13 years of this shit.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

Girlfriend: Did you remember to get bin liners? Me: I did better than that.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Meanwhile in Glasgow.

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cluedont

@cluedont

7 years

I was having a good Friday, then I noticed Trump's neck fanny. Now I'm struggling to even keep water down. :(

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Overheard someone in Sainsburys say 'Christmas isn't all about cheese you know'. This is of course completely incorrect.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

If you haven't seen it here's one of the coolest women on the planet.

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cluedont

@cluedont

11 years

If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

Day 173 of Christmas. We try sending a rescue message to loved ones using Maltesers. It is both a success and a failure in equal measures.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

'I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career'

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Just got thrown out of here for jumping around. :(

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

This is not a drill.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

I'm going to watch this daily until things start to improve.

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@cluedont

2 years

The bell is Britain. Liz Truss is Liz Truss.

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cluedont

@cluedont

10 years

I still don't think you can call Lewis Hamilton a truly great driver until he's driven my mother-in-law to IKEA and back with a hangover.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

When you're insulting Alan but you've run out of insults.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

I have a feeling 'the animals of Bury' would have been a better choice.

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cluedont

@cluedont

8 years

The man said 'Shake what your mamma gave ya!' so I did, but the lid came off of the Tupperware and now I'm covered in shepherd's pie. :(

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cluedont

@cluedont

7 years

Nigel Farage looks like what would happen if you bought a stoat some Burton's vouchers for its birthday.

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@cluedont

2 years

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@cluedont

6 years

When your dog balloon gets stuck on the ceiling.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

🎶And through it aaaall, she offers

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

Pilot: It's over now, you've been rescued, everything will be ok. God: Wait.

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cluedont

@cluedont

2 years

Today's lesson.

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cluedont

@cluedont

6 years

Me: One pansy terror ball please. Florist: No problem.

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cluedont

@cluedont

4 years

@HotFreestyle It looks shit.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

Oh dear, Carol.

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cluedont

@cluedont

11 years

You don't fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will.

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cluedont

@cluedont

11 years

BBC: 'Much of Scotland's coastline still being battered.' They will literally deep fry anything.

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cluedont

@cluedont

1 year

This is the best and the worst thing I've ever seen.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

@robdelaney Next door have a baby called Mark. Mark the baby.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

I gave up using Microsoft spreadsheets for 40 days. It was Excellent.

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cluedont

@cluedont

3 years

If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.

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cluedont

@cluedont

5 years

I can't remember ever seeing a video that epitomises cats and dogs so well.

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