Chris Kouffman @ckparrot Twitter profile

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

LOL Devonta Smith!

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

How quickly they forget what Tua Tagovailoa looked like when he had a full complement of weapons at his disposal.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

I guess Terron Armstead, Tyreek Hill, Mike Gesicki, Emmanuel Ogbah, Cedrick Wilson, and Connor Williams...chose Tua. So much for that narrative.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Raheem Mostert & Chase Edmonds has to be one of, if not the fastest backfield in the NFL. Jaylen Waddle & Tyreek Hill clearly the fastest WR duo in the NFL. Mike Gesicki one of the fastest TEs in the NFL. Hell, Terron Armstead has the fastest 40 time of all LTs in the NFL.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

1 year

You may have missed it but when Connor Williams snapped that ball at a low flying airplane, Tua tried to dive on the ball, and after he realized he missed it and the defender on his back might get it, he knocked the ball clear over to Kendall Lamm.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Wait, so Patrick Mahomes also under throws an open Tyreek Hill when he’s trying to go 54 yards through the air? But I was told…

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Tuanigamanuolepola Tagovailoa has more vowels in his name than he does incomplete passes over the last three NFL games combined.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

9 months

This is embarrassing. And you wonder why Dolphins fans take issue with the way national media talk about Tua Tagovailoa.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Mike McDaniel exchange on @PatMcAfeeShow show: Pat McAfee: "Hey Gumpy has a question for ya. He's been a diehard Dolphins fan his entire life." Gump Cathcart: "Didn't go to Yale, worked at a shipyard for 15 years. We f--kin need ya, Mike-" Mike McDaniel: "At the shipyard?!"

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Let me just say now, FUCK THESE MOTHER FUCKERS WE BEAT YOU IN YOUR OWN FUCKING STADIUM AND YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A PLAYOFF TEAM ACCORDING TO EVERY FUCKING TALKING HEAD ON THE PLANET FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Kenny Pickett had two concussions in 2022. Tua Tagovailoa had two concussions in 2022. One of them is a sudden media darling with consensus expectations to rocket off his 77 passer rating in 2022 and into the 2023 playoffs. The other is tagged with "thoughts and prayers". OK.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Are we sure Miami should be trading Tua Tagovailoa for another quarterback and not Brian Flores for another head coach?

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

People are like, “Quit making excuses for Tua!” And I’m scratching my head trying to figure out, what are we making excuses for? Winning the game? Completing 82% of his passes to a lackluster cast? Not taking a sack behind the worst OL in team history? The 109 passer rating?

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

1 year

Barry Jackson

@flasportsbuzz

1 year

ESPN's M.Greenberg:"I will go to my grave saying [Boston is] the superior team but they didn't play like it. I will never again say the team with the best players wins in basketball. It.. is no longer true. No one will ever be able to say the Celtics didn't have the best players"

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

9 months

At first this looks exactly like the hit that gave Tua a concussion vs Packers late last year. But a closer look shows his training paid off. He can’t control the way a sacker takes him to ground, but he can control how he braces himself, tucks his chin. Helmet didn’t even touch.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Good company.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Tua Tagovailoa (2) trailed behind only Kirk Cousins (3), Justin Herbert (3), and Patrick Mahomes (3) in right-handed touchdown passes in Week 3.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Last year Miami was potent but fragile. If Armstead was injured, the offense sucked. If Tyreek or Jaylen sat some plays, the offense struggled. If Tua was off the field? Forget it. Byron Jones misses the whole year, more injuries in the secondary? Defense disappears. The big

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

It’s so hard to watch any QB other than Tua Tagovailoa right now.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

One of Belichick’s TEs murdered people, hung himself in prison, only to find out he had severe CTE. Another admitted to 20 concussions and blacking out during 5 games. That’s in addition to Belichick ordering Ted Johnson to practice despite med staff saying he had a concussion.

ProFootballTalk

@ProFootballTalk

2 years

Bill Belichick: I've removed players with concussion symptoms even if doctors cleared them.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

9 months

Yup. Yup.

Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

9 months

This is embarrassing. And you wonder why Dolphins fans take issue with the way national media talk about Tua Tagovailoa.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

So this is what a newly married Tua Tagovailoa plays like now that he’s having sex.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

1 year

How embarrassing that the Miami Dolphins have a franchise quarterback doing weird classes to learn how to move his body and prevent injuries. He should've learned that on the playground as a kid!

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

Fire Chan Gailey at halftime. It’s enough.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

5 months

Shaq Barrett - $9.0m (incl. incentives) Jordyn Brooks - $8.8m Aaron Brewer - $7.0m Jonnu Smith - $4.2m Jordan Poyer - $2.0m Anthony Walker Jr. - (?) Isaiah Mack - $1.1m Daviyon Nixon - $1.0m That's about $34 mil on 8 players. Christian Wilkins alone would've cost $28 million.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Umm... #BottomRightTua ?

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Remember when Dolphins OL Coach Butch Barry was supposed to suck? He coaches with post-it notes, he had the entire Broncos OL room clapping when he got fired, etc? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 months

Mike McDaniel as the Dolphins sent in the pick for WR Malik Washington.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

I want two things for the Dolphins. Yesterday meant almost nothing for one of them, but meant everything for the other. Yeah I want a championship. That’s one. Yesterday didn’t matter much for that. One game, yadda yadda. But the championship isn’t my end-all. More what I want

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Among QBs with at least 90 pass attempts between 1994 and 2021, Tua Tagovailoa currently has the highest 4th quarter passer rating. Ever.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

On review, I thought Tua’s performance last week was low key his best outing in a Dolphins uniform. But he destroyed that outing this week against the Falcons. Out of 40 throws, 38 hit the receiver’s hands. The other 2 were picked because the receivers hung him out to dry.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

1 year

I think people are underestimating just how good Kader Kohou was as a rookie, and how good he's going to end up.

Joe Schad

@schadjoe

1 year

Kader Kohou gets $705,255 as part of NFL’s performance based pay bonus program. Kader was excellent as an undrafted rookie free agent CB for the Miami Dolphins.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Quite frankly if Brian Flores was attempting to unilaterally force the Miami Dolphins hand into trading 3 or 4 first round picks for a sexual predator with nearly as many accusers as career wins, then he probably deserved the firing. Don't @ me.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Jacoby Brissett is not good. Dolphins need to put Reid Sinnett in.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Tua Tagovailoa on drives immediately following an interception, over the last two seasons (post-rookie year): 30 of 46 for 425 yards, 5 TD, 0 INT 135.2 Passer Rating

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Forgive the resolution but I think there was a pretty clear tipped ball by Matt Judon on the 1st play of the game yesterday. Ball changed trajectory drastically. So yes, Tyreek was wide open, yes Tua tried to hit him, but Judon got a piece of the ball.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Waiting for the NFLPA to trigger an investigation based on Joe Burrow’s admission. Waiting for a bunch of former and current head coaches to go hard after Zac Taylor for letting Burrow continue playing games he blacked out. Feels like I’ll be waiting a while.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

Missing De’Von Achane, Terron Armstead, Connor Williams, Xavien Howard, and Jalen Ramsey. Played much/most of the game without other starters Isaiah Wynn, Jaylen Waddle, David Long, Jevon Holland. That’s a lot of next man up. Too many next men up to try and win on the road vs

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Today was an important step for Mike McDaniel as a head coach, but also for Josh Boyer as a defensive coordinator. So many assumed Boyer couldn’t call the same D without Flores. Boyer’s defense completely out-boxed New England’s offense today.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

It feels to me like if Tua Tagovailoa played this poorly, Brian Flores wouldn’t hesitate to bench him the rest of the game.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Before Miami can even start thinking about Offensive Line free agents and draft prospects, they need to be thinking about Offensive Line coaches and decision-makers. Because as bad as Miami's OL personnel are, their coaches and decision-makers are worse.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Tua Tagovailoa has the highest 4th quarter completion percentage of any qualifying NFL quarterback going back to 1994. And it's not close. His 76% completion in the 4th quarter is a full 8 percentage points better than the runners-up (68%).

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Kinda crazy to think Tua Tagovailoa threw 110 passer rating and won the last two against the Ravens and Jets with two broken bones. The broken rib is still mending. The broken finger is still mending. Say what you want otherwise but don't ever deny the dude is tough as nails.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

That’s Tua-speak for Durham ran the wrong route and Tua tried to fit it in there anyway because his team is trying to trade him for a sex offender and he felt like he had to make every single play.

josh houtz

@houtz

3 years

tua on his interception in the endzone: "it was cover-2. miscommunication with me and durham and i take full responsibility for that."

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

NFL cares about concussions so much they keep their flags in their pockets as a defender launches the crown of his helmet up and straight at a defenseless receiver’s face mask.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

7 months

Backups account for 47% of Miami's OL snaps. Winning teams average 16%. No other winning team more than 27%. Bills only had 4% of OL snaps taken by backups. I once said Miami's OL was the exhaust port in the Death Star. I was wrong. Dolphins leads the NFL in offense anyway. I

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Brian Flores is now 4-2 versus his old boss, Bill Belichick.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Joe Burrow is the 3rd-most sacked QB in the NFL since being drafted in 2020. For him to come right out and admit he's played multiple games where he got concussed and couldn't remember the rest of the game is astonishing.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

This question from @schadjoe and answer from Miami HC Mike McDaniel was THE highlight of the opening press conference, for me. I’m not easy to impress, when it comes to coach speak. Most people lap up things I find to be boiler plate nonsense. This was DIFFERENT (for me).

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

Watch how quickly the talking heads will switch from criticizing Miami for starting Tua when he has a bad team around him that will get him killed, to talking about how Herbert’s and Burrow’s successes mean more because Tua has a better team helping him. It’s coming.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

Dolphins lost for the first time in nearly 2 months, so naturally we're talking about how the team may have to replace coaches, quarterback, all five offensive linemen, wide receivers, running backs, linebackers, and defensive line. Very cool and very normal.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

7 months

Peyton Manning led the #3 offense in the NFL in 1999. Scored only 16 points in the playoff game and lost. He led the #4 offense in the NFL in 2000, scored only 17 points in the playoff game and lost. He led the #2 offense in the NFL in 2001 but went 6-10 and didn't even make

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Linus has spake.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

The NFL & NFLPA were in such a rush to do something with concussion protocol they effectively took medical judgment out of the hands of actual doctors and gave it instead to a nameless cabal of “spotters” whose qualifications are unknown and who operate with little oversight.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

Tyreek Hill is so one-dimensional. All he does is catch balls for yards and touchdowns. Nothing else.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Chris Grier pulling off a 3rd impact move on offense, after Terron Armstead and Tyreek Hill, all while traveling to Texas A&M and Ohio State to scout college players has shades of Michael Corleone settling all family business during his nephew's baptism.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

As someone who has done a lot of work on arm strength from QBs, I can say this was an impressive display. He will never have alien powers. But anyone calling him arm deficient is going to have to get used to days like today when everyone is dunking on you.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

This appears to be the play where Tua hurt his back. Notice teammates rushing to clear him out of an awkward position at the bottom of the pile. Also notice he was wobbly getting up and walking away (similar to the other play).

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

The Miami Dolphins are 4-0 since the NFL trade deadline passed, effectively ending the steady drum beat of Deshaun Watson trade speculation and reporting.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

That was about 2 yards, right @stephenasmith ?

Robert Griffin III

@RGIII

10 months

“TuA cAN’t THrow ThE dEEp BaLL” How bout yal shut the fudge up and respect his gangsta. @Tua @cheetah

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

I know there’s a crowd that are like, “QB wins don’t mean anything,” but the Dolphins are 12-6 when Tua Tagovailoa plays and 5-7 when he doesn’t. That’s got to mean SOMETHING, especially when you find out he audibled into game-winning plays like he did vs. the Patriots and Jets.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

9 months

The ‘99 Rams, who the Dolphins are often compared to offensively, never beat an above-0.500 team until the playoffs. They did win the Super Bowl tho, so I suppose that counts for something. Also the Chargers are a 0.500 team so, bit of manipulation going on with the phrasing.

FOX Sports: NFL

@NFLonFOX

9 months

Dolphins have yet to beat an above .500 team this year 👀

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

Chase Claypool did some good work for Miami today. He had a tremendous key block on a crucial 4th & Short screen to Tyreek Hill. He also made a nice play after the catch on his lone reception as a Dolphin. He’s on his way to earning regular duties.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

If it was a lawn dart we’d be at a funeral

Will Manso

@WillManso

11 months

How in the hell did Tua fit that ball in for Hill to catch? My goodness.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

1 year

Hey remember that time ‘athletically limited’ Miami Heat 1st round pick Jaime Jaquez Jr. beat K.J. Martin and Drake London in a dunk contest with Scottie Pippen casting the deciding vote?

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Weird to me that the Dolphins were 3-0 with Tua and are 0-3 without Tua and the plural narrative out there right now is that the Dolphins have so many problems that it doesn’t matter who is at QB. Ummm…

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Normally when a rookie RB goes for 233 yards and 4 TDs in what was pretty much his de facto rookie debut, you wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks. But somehow it feels like fourth or fifth down the list. Insane.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

This only applies to Dolphins and we all know it. It’s been a targeted witch hunt as several people became unfairly convinced the Dolphins covered up a concussion in Week 3. It’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you, which they are and have been. It’s ok to admit it.

Mike Williams

@SelfMade0602

2 years

Hey @NFL & @NFLPA this is a concussion! He takes a hit to the head and wobbles. How is he not in protocol? #DoubleStandard

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Miami has played on the road twice, without Terron Armstead twice, without Jalen Ramsey twice, and without Jaelan Phillips once. Yet they have the highest Overall team rating on PFF. That's a fast start.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

I don’t think Miami pulls off these acquisitions if Flores continued to be the head coach. The system & McDaniel’s preferences informed Grier’s priorities. Empowering the QB, having a reputable offensive coach & popular system gave them an edge in their sales pitch.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

This is definitely the game that puts a bow on Josh Boyer’s firing.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

8 months

What's frustrating for anyone who actually watches is Tua had his best game in a while. He's had great games. But this was an ELITE performance for people who know what they're seeing. Yet there are national media who try their damnedest to dull his shine, and it's weird stuff.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

Post-interception Tua is the most potent QB in the history of the NFL lol.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Among all NFL passers going back to 1994, Dolphins QB Tua Tagovailoa currently ranks: - #1 in 4Q completion (by over 8%) - #1 in 4Q scoring % (run & pass) - #2 in 4Q passer rating - #6 in 4Q 1st Down % (run & pass) - #3 in RZ scoring % (run & pass) - #2 in RZ sacks/attempt

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

1 year

Tua Jitsu

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

8 months

Since Mike McDaniel began coaching the Dolphins in 2022, Tua Tagovailoa has thrown 131 passes with Tyreek Hill OFF the field. 102 of 131 for 1,092 yards 5 TD, 0 INT 61.6% success rate 0.285 EPA/play 114.2 passer rating Courtesy of @waddlehouse17

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

7 months

Miami’s most likely playoff path if they win tonight would be home vs Bills, home vs Chiefs, then at Ravens. Their path if they lose tonight is most likely to be at Kansas City, at Baltimore, then at Buffalo. I’m sorry but anyone who wants a loss tonight isn’t rational.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

8 months

Dolphins are misbranded as an offensive team. They’re the #1 defense in the NFL since Jalen Ramsey came back. Defensive branded teams are regarded as physical and offensive teams are finesse. That’s the way of it. But people haven’t processed Miami’s evolution into a defensive

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

You can tell Mike Florio feels like the Dolphins just pissed in his corn flakes. He was about to spend 3 months stoking the fires with click bait about Tua being replaced, and the Dolphins just squashed it with one reach-out to a prominent national news-breaker.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

Tua Tagovailoa is 21 of 25 for 202 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs throwing to WRs not named Tyreek Hill or Jaylen Waddle. That’s a 127 rating. He’s 42 of 63 for 358 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs (102.5 rating) throwing to TEs & RBs. Total 111.4 Passer Rating to players other than Hill & Waddle.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

Not gonna lie. This one still stings.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

5 months

The most explosive/mobile Center in the NFL. I'm not exaggerating.

Ian Rapoport

@RapSheet

5 months

The #Dolphins have agreed to terms with their new center, locking in former #Titans C Aaron Brewer to a 3-year deal worth $21M total, source said.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

This was a 45-46 yard throw and Tua's velocity and trajectory at this distance was absolutely fine. And I'm not particularly inclined to argue about it because I know what I know.

PFF College

@PFF_College

3 years

JAYLEN. WADDLE. 🤯

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

Two things are true at the same time. 1) Dolphins fans have an unhealthy, albeit highly entertaining, obsession with Justin Herbert. 2) They’re also right.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

It’s like watching De’Von Achane at 0.75x speed.

Ari Meirov

@MySportsUpdate

10 months

The Jahmyr Gibbs breakout game!!

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Really nice work by Center Michael Deiter here. He’s been somewhat of a revelation since the move to that position.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

11 months

Mood

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

I don’t mind if people get all Dr. Google on Twitter, speculatively. But the hubris involved in a bunch of Joe the Plummers and Dr. NotMyFields coming out speaking certainties against real experts who have examined Tua is frankly embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for a lot of you.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Will the Dolphins give up on their 23 year old QB, despite a 14-7 record and still being on a cheap rookie contract, in favor of a much more expensive (cap & draft picks) passer with nearly as many accusers of sexual assault as career wins? Stay tuned. Gonna be a wild one.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

Look what Tua did to these defenders with his eyes and shoulders. Some guys do the no-look pass here. His release is so quick, doesn't really need to. Some of the traits that have made him so effective in red zone. He's #3 among all QBs the last three decades in TD percentage.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

9 months

Snapping the ball like this to a left-handed quarterback is a bad snap any way you slice it.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

There's something so hilarious about the way Mike McDaniel comports himself. He's been in the NFL for 15 years but watching him feels like a Disney movie about a kid who, through some zany set of circumstances, suddenly finds himself head coach of his favorite football team.

Miami Dolphins

@MiamiDolphins

3 years

Recapping Coach McDaniel’s day in under 60 seconds. #FinsUp

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

What about a Steve Sarkisian, Devonta Smith, Najee Harris combo off season?

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

8 months

Dolphins offense is a tale of two halves. During the 1st half of games, they have 2,133 passing yards at 8.9 YPA, with a 117 passer rating. All three lead the NFL. During 2nd halves, they have 1,048 rushing yards at 5.4 YPC, with 13 rushing touchdowns. All three lead the NFL.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

This made me laugh unreasonably hard.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

3 years

For people who seem to consider Mike McDaniel inexperienced, keep in mind he's coached in the NFL for 15 years on 6 different teams. For those who are wondering how he's going to fill out his staff, he's coached with 118 different coaches on those NFL teams.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

4 years

This is still maybe the craziest play of the game for Tua Tagovailoa. He had a DL with a free shot at him, made him miss, immediately pops up and throws this into a microscopic window, low where only DeVante Parker was gonna catch it.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

10 months

Miami's defense ON PAPER looked fierce. Chubb, Sieler, Wilkins, Phillips, Baker, Long, Howard, Holland, Elliott, Kohou, Ramsey is a star-studded cast of starters to be coached by legendary Vic Fangio. Dolphins are 6-2, but this is the 1st game we'll actually see that unit.

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Chris Kouffman

@ckparrot

2 years

So the Dolphins had an historically bad blocking in 2021. Fast forward, they hire Mike McDaniel, Jon Embree, Frank Smith, Matt Applebaum, and now Chandler Henley onto the coaching staff. All of them have worked with TEs and OLs and run games, specifically. Sensing a theme yet?

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