I have tried to keep it in. I know that makes me a coward. But this
#ActivisionBlizzard
response makes me want to start naming the executives and managers who’ve asked me out to dinner, had me give massages in their hotel rooms, grabbed me and kissed me, groped me. I am so angry.
Can we normalize female game developers being allowed to exist and spared the commentary even if (the proverbial) you don’t find us attractive?
A thread. 1/
Everyone else out there looking extremely well rested in
#WhatAGameDevLooksLike
Not saying that all game devs look tired and annoyed all the time, but I need to represent. This is me in almost every meeting. Executive Producer
@Bungie
. 23 years.
For a few years now I’ve hinted at working on my dream job with one of the best teams in the world, and I’m so thrilled for our project to finally be announced so you can see just a glimpse into what we’ve been working on. Introducing, Marathon.
I am a powerful person. I am a (too rare) female executive in games. And the reason I haven’t even hinted at things that have happened to me is I didn’t want to harm or embarrass THE MEN that did these things. Think about that. And I have privilege that many women and POC don’t.
Hey
@themandalorian
- I’m a classically trained actor who studied at Stella Adler at NYU, and I put on muscle really easily. Just sayin, give me nine months to get in shape and I will New Aunt Viv the heck out of Cara Dune.
I’m blown away by the caliber of talent at Bungie in general, but holy moly the IT department is next level. Maintaining a live game, while preparing for a pandemic so that we can keep operations running (in case), and still supporting every ask, it’s seriously impressive.
Weekly, our Production team does something called Friday Flex. In the privacy of our group chat, it’s a moment for people to stop and say “I did this thing well this week because I’m awesome.” And at first, most of them struggled with it. The flexes were “I learned about X.” 1/3
After 13 years, I made the tough decision to leave EA. Working on this game has been the privilege of a lifetime and I’ll miss the lot of you. I’ll be not as community facing in my next role so to quote a player it’s just “snark and thinly veiled feminism” from now on.
Mahalo!
I am grateful and privileged to have a supportive employer with excellent healthcare. Too many women do not. Overturning Roe v Wade is not about saving lives, it’s about keeping people in poverty and oppressing women. Free contraceptives, sex ed, and healthcare would save lives.
I tried to sleep it off, it obviously didn’t work. But it would take me days of nonstop tweeting to tell everything that has happened to me in 22 years. Meetings in strip clubs, promotions attributed to me “getting under the desk” of my manager, escorts on work trips…
Now that it's real and I've wrapped my involvement on Destiny 2: Beyond Light, which I am SO PROUD of and can't wait for people to see; I want to share with my Twitter fam that I'm starting to work on <redacted> with some pretty special people. This is a lifelong dream come true.
Anyway, this thread is my defense mechanism, I am not going to stop being worried what people think about me. It’s not possible for me, but I am not going to let it stop me from doing what I want to do anymore. And if you don’t think I look good... tough. 10/10
A game I worked on (no longer live) had a multi-month endgame that was intended to take at least six months to do. The execs were so afraid people would beat it the first week that we hardcoded it to be impossible. We patched it a few months later and it was completed instantly.
Now that Twitter is actually going to die you legally need to admit your game dev sins
I have hidden abstracted versions of Loss in older projects and you’ll NEVER find them.
I’ve spent my entire career petrified of my physical representation online. I have canceled speaking arrangements, not gone to trade shows... all because when I do, if I look less than ideal, I get lambasted. Wanna know why I didn’t go to Celebration last year? That. 2/
One of the best days for me in recent memory was talking about what we’re making in Marathon with this group of exceptional developers. While we’ve made this game almost entirely from home, it’s remarkable how much the magic of working together translates back in person.
Today is my three year anniversary at
@Bungie
. It feels both like I've been here for forever and no time at all. And while no company is perfect, I am heartened by the quality of the people I work with and their earnest desire to be their best selves. Here's hoping for many more!
When I took over Warhammer Online the team had already shrunk a lot. We tried to be creative but players wanted big expansions. And we weren’t getting the $ to do it.
So I was asked to take some devs and make a new game, out of WAR assets and engine, and do it in nine months. 🧵
Day One in the books! I’m thrilled. Also my job is focused on people and process and not making gameplay decisions, so all you’re going to hear is Bungie love from me (and requests for Excel formula hacks). 😍
…countless negotiations leaving work events at bars and then “bitch I wasn’t hitting on you” when I eventually declined. I’m tired. And I can’t think about this any longer.
The game industry has a sickness, but if you’re outraged by all of this, don’t avoid it. Let’s take over.
I'm so proud to work for a company where at the inflection of a huge reveal for our business, chooses 8 minutes and 46 seconds of silence first.
#BlackLivesMatter
Come work with me on [Unannounced]! We are hiring for many roles at Bungie, but I’d love to spend extra time chatting with 3D artists of all levels. Come join a team where you too can regularly mix these guys’ names up.
@2Scott2Furious
@stevecotton22
People in the Warhammer Online community would describe in detail how unfuckable I was. They’d photoshop pizzas into my extended hands if I was gesticulating wildly. There were more than a few comparisons to Sarah Palin which is insulting on all levels (EXCEPT appearance). 3/
My ears are still ringing from
@burnaboy
in Seattle tonight. He's an electric performer; an absolute superstar. I've never seen anyone with that much charisma in person before.
People tell video game makers to “shut up and just make games”, but this is why we can’t. We make worlds for people to be their best selves (overcome obstacles, try try again, and prevail over evil). It is not okay how toxic gaming discourse gets. And I’ll never shut up about it.
Everybody is on the "This is Fox News's fault" and, it is. But I want to focus on another community I follow closely: Gamers.
I tend to follow streamers/YouTubers who explicitly *don't* go in for these white supremacist dog whistles (obviously) but a lot of them don't call it out
But it also means I’ve held back from doing things I want to do. I saw a recent video of me and thought I looked so bad that I wanted to be removed. But I’m proud of what I have to say and contribute. I shouldn’t have to be afraid of criticism of my appearance. Words, yes. 7/
I’m not a celebrity and I avoid being photographed so those few things last FOREVER. And PS, I’m a LOT dumber and uglier now. (Not fishing, it is a fact that I looked better in my 20’s.) I hate to give the trolls credit but it has done real and lasting damage to my self worth. 5/
This is true for all of us with any kind of public presence. But in video games, especially since I started when there were fewer women, and with the passions that surround it, I have felt exposed to a lot of negative for the relatively little positive. And I have not healed. 9/
One of the top video results for me (which my mom found) is criticizing something I said at PAX. Which was criticizable and an honest mistake and I’ll take that I messed up! But I was talking about this very topic and well: I haven’t gone to PAX since. 4/
And I’m cis and white and (mostly) happy with my appearance except the weight. It is more true for people who are trans, disabled, fat anything that “you” might not understand or personally be attracted to. 8/
This is a ritual I’ll carry with me forever, because the impact ripples. Please please steal it and implement it on your teams. We spend a lot of time in our lives humbling ourselves (good) and making space for others (good) - but it’s important occasionally to just F’N flex. 3/3
It does not surprise me, it does not dissuade me, and it does not make me less hopeful for even one second. For me these are mostly bad memories. Let’s make sure fewer people ever have to have them. Will make inbox open for any affected devs that want to talk.
#actiblizzwalkout
I'm enjoying the heck out of Starfield. I love my Xbox. The Xbox is great. So is Nintendo. So are old SEGA games. And Atari. And PC games made by all sorts of people and companies. I love video games. Signed, someone whose paycheck is paid by Sony.
Ever a joy, here’s my stepfather whistling in a God of War II shirt. I’ve given him hundreds of videogame shirts and he loves when people stop him on the street to talk about why “campers suck”. Even though he doesn’t get it, he laughs. And it breaks my heart that his is broken.
My stepfather Miguel, who I adore, just lost his youngest to Covid, Herzon Rivera Galvan. Together they had a beautiful band called Dos Generaciones. I would be so appreciative of any thoughts/pet photos/things that make you smile. In Spanish would be a huge bonus.
@vcvertiz
If you want to know how to help women, bipoc, lgbtq+, I strongly recommend “This Changes Everything” on Netflix. It shows how the lack of representation in media creates systemic cultural biases. Clearly. With examples. Also Geena Davis. 😍
On the one hand, being digital first means “how will I chase people down to fill out their JIRA tickets?” On the other hand, that’s one of the worst daily aspects of a Producer’s job. So come join us on UNANNOUNCED PROJECT (if you fill out your JIRA tickets.)
Something I didn't know until I started working at Bungie, is that when you join you inherit this crazy large Twitter family. Most of my feed now is Bungie employees and it's such a cool group of people with varied interests and talents. Should be listed as a perk on jobs page.
Recorded a ViDoc today. I was so excited to leave the house that I spent more time getting ready than I did for prom. IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE PEOPLE. Even if they’re all far away and masked.
@michaelharriot
Amazing and sweet story. As a game collector though, I suspect he may not have realized he saw it in Madden ‘92 (Pulled from a YouTube video but I have both my Genesis and copy of Madden for verification if needed!) He should still become a software engineer. He’s got tenacity!
And learning is good! But it’s still humble. I wanted one moment a week for them to feel powerful. And badass. And over this year the flexes have become amazing. I most look forward to Friday mornings, to hear people talk about their genuine successes and how great they are. 2/3
When we made Padme in
#swgoh
- male employees didnt want to do a “midriff version”. They were inspired by her in The Clone Wars series and we didn’t use any other characters’ “battleworn” states. I made the call and it was done. Most of the community was fine too.
#hireadults
Working on a Star Wars game was the pleasure of a lifetime but it borked my autocorrect forevermore. “With” always gets changed to “Sith”. “Up” becomes “HK”. Bizarrely my phone only just stopped trying to turn “Malak” into “Malala.”
@dantley
Yeah? You’ve created a platform where anonymity and abuse are so rampant that culture is changing because of it. People are abused en masse, Nazism and the KKK have been emboldened, and it’s because your founder hides behind free speech. So you can handle it. Or YOU can fix it.
My old Reddit handle sits dormant since my last post is quite intentional and I can’t change the name. But I happened to click over and saw this post and laughed loudly for a solid minute. 10/10 would support this.
@CubsFanHan
look what you did.
I didn’t get to spend enough time with him but I loved the time I had. To me he will always be Sir David of the Deejes. Thank you for being world class at what you do, supremely funny, and always looking out for the rest of us.
#ThankYouDeej
Today is Bungie’s 30th birthday. And while there are lots of horror stories about gaming companies (I too have many), for me, Bungie is the only place I’ve felt completely valued. As a result I feel like I’m doing my very best work. So bring on the next 30! Happy Bungie Day all.
How did QA miss that bug?
I dunno. How did PMs miss that user story? How did engineering code that wrong? Design create unclear requirements? TPMs not schedule enough time?
Only group expected to never miss anything is the lowest paid and least respected.
Major differences I’ve noticed between EA and Bungie terminology:
OOO v OOF
FTUE v NUX
Kill Switch v Chicken Switch
I had no problem adapting to NUX but I can not say chicken switch, it’s too weird. I ain’t afraid of nuthin! Also OOF should be retired.
@rgay
This is why I’m trying to eliminate snark entirely, but especially aimed at others. If the joke isn’t funny, which it usually isn’t, your left with just cruelty.
Dry run of the Halloween costume tonight. Posting because I don’t know that I can spend time in the morning actually putting on makeup. How do humans do this??
#thisistheway
Now ALL of the former states I've made video games in are remote eligible for Bungie. To my Acclaim friends in NY, and Mythic friends in DC, MD, and VA - if you had to stay put for any reason whatsoever, check out Bungie's remote job postings!
The family of Peter Mayhew, with deep love and sadness, regrets to share the news that Peter has passed away. He left us the evening of April 30, 2019 with his family by his side in his North Texas home.
I used to not talk AT ALL about being a woman in games. I was so afraid that people would think that’s how I got my job. The most liberating thing I learned is that the people who will call you a diversity hire will do it no matter what. So might as well shout from the rooftops!
This goes out to my fellow cis heteros…
You don’t need to “get” someone’s identity or sexual preference in order to wholeheartedly support them.
Support is not a zero sum game. There is enough to go around for everyone!
Happy Pride Month, love is love! 🌈🌈
I have always baked for coworkers, but given the rarity of even seeing them now, I’m cranking the level of effort up. Today I’m taking in Milk Bar’s Apple Pie Cake for the Production team.
I'm honored to be joining
@Bungie
as Senior Design Lead, working on an exciting Unannounced Game. Bungie creates incredible new worlds, and I'm thrilled to be partnering with this talented team as we build an amazing world together.
“I’m a console collector.”
“Yeah but do you have a Neo Geo?”
“Well, no…
“No EP of mine is going to go through life without a Neo Geo!!”
Thanks
@cgbarrett
🥺❤️❤️
After all the drama about police marching in uniform at
#Sacpride
- I fully burst into tears when I saw them. Showing our love and tolerance for one another is the whole point. I’m so full of joy right now.
For nearly two years (!) I’ve had the pleasure of seeing the
@DestinyTheGame
team in action. There are so many talented, brilliant, and empathetic powerhouses it boggles the mind. For them to keep getting better 7 years later is equally humbling and inspiring. Congrats Destiny!
It’s the middle of Week 3. When I joined, I thought my mandate was to come here and “help make things better”. Yet it is already evident that this job, more than any other, is making me better instead. Ugh, personal growth.
I did not actually summit. After six days of hiking and getting to 18,000 feet, I stopped just short of the top. But I feel great. Kilimanjaro, but specifically the Tanzanians who helped us along it, are extremely special to me. And I'll come back for the last 1000 feet.
So many in my feed are people sharing of themselves and reaching out truthfully to others.
If we’re mutuals, please know that at some point I have thought about what an incredible person you are. Like actually reflected on it. If you need to hear what, reply and I’ll tell you.
Didn’t clean number five. Six was a bit tastier though definitely hotter. Flavor makes all the difference. These are all delicious. Used gloves for the last two and have scrubbed my hands and am enjoying a vanilla ice cream mochi. Survived, maybe.
@hotonesgameshow
#hotones
@MotleyGrue
I was told this story by others so it may have altered in my memory, but I believe for a brief time in development of Superman on Xbox, the texture for his eyebrow was something like 20 gigs.
Just landed in Hawaii. Began the approval process for the Road Ahead from the internet in a Starbucks parking lot. No thinking about Star Wars for 10 days. Don’t stay up too late and no parties!
@shenanigans052
I am so out of it, but I feel like
@AhnaldT101
and I had more than our fair share of dust ups. But I’m super zen now and I love everyone, even
@Mcmole2
;) (
@CubsFanHan
is still my favorite sorry)
Hoping to collectively heal video game industry anxiety, because it usually doesn’t get me, but Teams is down and for about 15 seconds I thought “oh so they finally came for me”. The trauma is real y’all.
Good PSA: Most game makers do not make the thing you see. Game making is a collaborative art form that includes a studio of people working in harmony from recruiting to IT to the artist that painted the thing to marketing and SDETs and operations and payroll. All hail payroll.
Pride is about showing up for people who are marginalized and who don’t get to celebrate themselves nearly enough. You don’t need to “understand” someone’s gender or sexual choices (specifically HOW) to treat them with dignity. I’ll be out on Sunday in full rainbow. Love is love.
When
@jasonschreier
contacted me for this book, I was nervous. But he was telling the story of Mythic’s closure and I’m the one who closed it. I felt I had to. His way of telling humanizes one of the worst times of my life and I’m grateful for how he told it. And I miss Mythic.
My next book is PRESS RESET: Ruin and Recovery in the Video Game Industry, coming May 11, 2021.
It's a book about what happens to people when video game studios shut down, including stories from Irrational, Visceral, 38 Studios, and more.
Pre-order here:
This is 100% in the middle of “I figured out how to make sourdough and am eating it all day long.” I plead the Scott Pilgrim!
But I’m very very happy. Love this studio. Looking for lots of talented awesome people all the time to come join us!
My father owns a restaurant in DC and like many small business owners is having a hard time. My Xmas gift to him is to try to support it. If you live in the area, let me know and I’ll pick 25 random names on Monday for $30 to use at his restaurant.
Before I worked at Bungie, I assumed Bungie rewards were only for the super hardcore. Today, I got my first one, the raid ring. The Bungie store team including
@TimeSpaceCos
are world class and it adds so much to playing. Thanks to
@KatCAWalker
@Sunos
@tarasmckey
for the carries!
I made a lot of small goals and a few big ones on my return to health/sanity etc. After passing the first big one, I bought myself a dress I’ve been coveting by Christopher John Rogers. Do you think fashion designers dream of their creations offseting Darth Vader back tattoos?
My mom’s birthday gift to me: these photos she took of Jimi Hendrix (who shares my birthday). I always knew she danced on stage with him, but only recently discovered that her photo of him burning his guitar at the Ambassador Theater was the only proof of the “third guitar burn”.