Andrew Bridgman @bridgmandrew Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@poll_can_tr

@aflevent

@sportsonmaxse

@jin_hiramaki226

@jaslyn_hagy

@RediffNews

@Godfatherparte2

@zh_zoha

@Melina_btc

@ripleyfp

@MultiChainInc

@zhanainionis

@AJ_underbar

@Maymay_piz

@qnnyyp

@Gopal_Saran_10

@TAEYEONTHAI

@RandyWilmore

@laarissaasilva

@Uidsea

@IGINOGGIO

@ANTIFA2024

@BenEekelen

@awrmando

@bokeplokalmalam

@anna_bouley82

@samboonin

@anamanaguchi

@Averil_Lacy156

@Tom_Myers

@Mason1Sullivan

@TarabanB

@Rahuldubey5_

@Pinpoint_est

@coachcasteel1

@5vOSDIE7P6Jq7FN

Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

it's very cool that The Iron Giant ended with it asserting that it would not be a weapon, and then directors keep putting The Iron Giant in their movies as the big destructive robot

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

the main theme of Game of Thrones finally became clear in the finale: the importance of breastfeeding to grow up big and strong

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

$600 doesn't even cover dril's rent from the 7 year old candles tweet (let alone the food, data, utilies, and candles)

palantir man

@dril

11 years

Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

nice to remember this message from Stan Lee - that politics, messages, and progressive ideals not only have a place in comics and art, but are actually the only reason to have comics and art at all

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

was a little confused how a new Transformers movie was getting such good reviews but now i think i understand

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

2 years

me and @JuliaLepetit accurately predicted the release date for Doctor Strange 2 about 8 years prior to its release (screwed up the title a bit though)

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

please stop discussing the plot of ready player one, I am begging you

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

okay I fixed the CGI on both Cats and Sonic the Hedgehog in one fell swoop, you're welcome

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

hi, i'm the head VFX guy for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. we have to delay the movie again because I accidentally deleted the eyes and nose and made Sonic's face just a big giant mouth. also i mistakenly programmed it to feel pain, so it is always screaming. i'm very sorry

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

Hulu (no ads) - $13 Netflix - $12 HBO now/max - $15 (reportedly) Disney+ - $7 Prime - $9 Candles - $3,600 CBS All Access - $6 Apple TV+ - $5 Showtime - $11 STARZ - $9 Almost $3,690 a month in streaming services. Cutting the cord was supposed to save us how much?

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

@ForAmerica @nbc @Macys thank you for bringing attention to this event. it turned my 8 children gay. my dog now walks upright and speaks in perfect english. the sun has not set in the past 36 hours and seems to be getting closer to earth. i can command birds with my mind.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

wow just got an exclusive leak from this weeks nintendo direct

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

@jenboseph ok this is a good point

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

WELCOME TO AMERICA, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE? a. preventable/treatable illness due to lack of affordable healthcare b. police shooting (officer will get a promotion) c. mass shooting by a 19 year old in a Pickle Rick shirt d. opioid overdose e. all of the above

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

Stan Lee leaves behind a messy, complicated legacy - but one thing that was never a question was how he felt about intolerance, hate, and bigotry. RIP to Stan the Man

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

Even though everything ELSE in 2020 has been going very smoothly and great, the world of online media remains rocky.

Sam Reich

@samreich

5 years

So, bad news – with a twist. IAC, our parent company, has made the difficult decision to no longer finance us. Today, 100+ brilliant people lost their jobs, some of whom are my dear, dear friends. Hire them. (thread)

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

fun fact: we could pay pretty much everyone in america dril's monthly expenses ($4900 * 300,000,000 = $1.47 trillion) instead of a bunch of F-35 planes that don't work and never will

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

its kinda bullshit Time chose 2 people as their "Person of the Year" but hard to disagree with the choice

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

if you’re gonna be thirsty for a guy who killed a lot of people, do Stalin. dude was MUCH hotter than Bundy and killed WAY more people

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

everyone at the time: "oh that's gross and messed up" but look at them now: strong. great hair. leaders. all thanks to suckling at teats well after infancy

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

looks like me and @GeorgeRottkamp ’s comic about the shitty version of The Last Jedi that fans wanted is what Rise of Skywalker actually is!

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

reminder that literally hundreds of people have named their children "daenerys" or "khaleesi" and now have to reckon with accidentally naming their kids after Fantasy Hitler

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

makes you think

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

very comforting to know the Iowa Democratic Party is one of these two situations

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

PUBLISHER: so you read the book, right? COVER DESIGNER: the wizard book? yeah i think i got the gist of it

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

@kendrawcandraw 95% of late night programming is a psyop intended to jokerify anyone who possesses object permanence

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

I'm just saying, the concept of a fork shouldn't be SO foreign to Ariel. her dad wields a trident (large fork)

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

pretty pumped for that #AvengersEndgame trailer

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

JOAQUIN PHOENIX: "I will lose 50 pounds to play The Joker. I will transform my body and mind to fully inhabit this character." CESAR ROMERO: "lol dude it's a fucken mean clown, I wouldn't even shave my mustache for this."

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

genuinely dont know why anyone would ever wanna stop wearing masks in public. you get sick less, no one can tell that youre mouthing the words to carly rae jepsen songs at all times, you can hide your shitty facial hair, etc. just nonstop winning

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

@OrangePaulp @daveweigel

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

servants: oh no, 100 of us are plates and forks now because you made a witch curse us the beast: oh no servants: well at least we don't literally have to live in a cupboard lol the beast: servants: ...we don't right? the beast: i mean what if someone comes by for dinner

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

good news: i was able to give Sonic eyes and a nose again. whew. bad news: they too are mouths

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@dilfosaur you are one of the most talented and versatile artists i have ever known and someday i will tear down the mona lisa (small, stupid, bad) and replace it with bakugo into the spiderverse (large, beautiful, perfect)

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

my daughter said her favorite color was "pink, and every color, and sprinkles" and frankly that feels a little bit like cheating

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@CatCrandallNJ @broderick the new prince of dorne was present, but barely noticeable. has he ever suckled breast milk past the age of 10? unclear

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

sure i had to pay an extra $11,940 to have a baby in the US than in Finland, but at least that baby was insanely more likely to die also

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

I’m here to kick ass and

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

not gonna lie - these results worry me a bit

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@ryguyguyry the arc from last year to this is incredible. very good stuff

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

sure, paul rudd might SEEM perfect, but he's hiding a pretty dark secret few know about: years of bad facial hair choices

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

'johny johny yes papa' is just a stealth reboot of the steamed hams meme

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

the funny thing about Joe Biden is that he did something offensively, impossibly evil at nearly every important turning point in his career. his final act will be getting trump re-elected, which is very fitting given his track record.

#StopCopCity

@ChuckModi1

5 years

”I voted for a fence. I voted, unlike most Democrats, I voted for 700 miles of fence. But, let me tell you, we can build a fence 40 stories high” —Joe Biden, not Trump —on “Illegals”, not “undocumented” —2006, not 1986

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@drmistercody

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

its pretty funny dr strange has a spell that can undo any bad thing in history and the only time he uses it is to make some high school kid seem less cool

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

this weekend my daughter watched a @caldy storyboarded cartoon and i listened to a @caldy dm'd podcast and that's called crossgenerational content synergy baby

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@mywifecameback this is a shitpost right

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

ok so i heard people didn't like the weird bony hands and I tried to put gloves over them, but i accidentally removed the arms and hands entirely and replaced them with an old lady's hand jutting out of Sonic's ribs on one side might have to delay this another month, guys. sorry

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

my least favorite part of movies is when a video goes viral in-universe that we all know would have never gone viral in real life

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

@nathancykiert look at that recovery. incredible👑

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

most underrated celebrity follow has gotta be @vincentdonofrio

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

@Mediaite @colbyhall the internet will stop bullying him whenever he does his job well for the first time

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

@ZephyrTeachout

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

i am begging melissa mccarthy to stop making movies with her shitty husband ben falcone

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

i know fossils were always a thing but it is truly mindboggling that Animal Crossing canonically had an extinction-level event asteroid strike that wiped out nearly all life on the planet

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

Star Wars OT films ranked by horniness: 1. A New Hope (boy abandons his entire life when he sees a 2 inch tall girl hologram) 2. Return of the Jedi (bikini lady chokes a slug guy, kink-adjacent) 3. Empire Strikes Back (lady kisses her brother & a guy about to get executed 👎)

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

imagine trying to make comedy in an age where mussolinis grandkids are melting down over jim carrey antifascist paintings and tech billionaires are releasing harambe raps 3 years too late. what’s the point

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

bi? you bet your ass I’m bi....bipartisan. poly? absolutely. I’m poly as hell...a polymath for vigorous debate and an exchange of ideas, that is. trans? absolutely - transatlantic, to support our NATO allies. I’m Beto O’Rourke and I’m running for president

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

new rpgs: you're a cool badass. here's a menu system that makes sense. we patched out the bugs old rpgs: you're 50 years old. you fucking suck and you're ugly. here's a menu system that takes weeks of study to understand. if you go through any door its a game ending glitch

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@FLoaBComic deeply sorry i allowed this to happen.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

Ryan is one of the funniest, smartest people I've ever known. The porn stuff is just the tip of the iceberg as to how incredibly good he is. He will be insanely famous for things in addition to the porn thing before long.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

@Bro_Pair literally the funniest moment in TV history is the scene transition from Carmela being overwhelmed by the grandeur and beauty of Paris then cutting to Sil screaming “clean the shit off ‘er tits!” at the guy cleaning the Bada Bing’s sign next to a shitty NJ highway

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

zack snyder should direct a leonard cohen biopic and the trailer should be set to the 60s batman theme

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

it is wrong to read Where’s Waldo books. Waldo is on his own journey and clearly does not want to be found. Leave Waldo alone.

🇭🇰Winthrop Wickard🇭🇰

@WinthropWickard

5 years

Unpopular book takes. Go.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

the debate is over

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

for extra credit, please guess what further indignity your family needs to suffer after your demise: a. gofundme to pay for the funeral doesn't hit the goal b. your s/o inherits your debts c. ben shapiro calls you a "thug" d. your twitter gets hacked and posts MLM affiliate links

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@dimension20show It is wild to me that Willie isn't some kind of podcast king with a patreon taking in $20k a month. Willie, start a patreon. If it makes $20k a month, then start the podcast. (Willie is one of the few people whose writing has ever made me belly laugh)

Willie Muse

@Williesillie2

5 years

Also just to add my small voice to the mix, I have never had the opportunity to work with such amazing people as I did at CollegeHumor. Some are my literal best friends and others I admired from afar but they're all going to go on to do awesome things and I'm excited to see it.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

it's the freakin weekend baby i'm about to 𝔹𝔼 𝔻𝔼ℙℝ𝔼𝕊𝕊𝔼𝔻

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

WHAT EACH SESAME STREET CHARACTER WAS MEANT TO TEACH KIDS ELMO: the curiosity and awe of discovering new things BERT & ERNIE: friendship and interpersonal relationships THE COUNT: the joy of learning BIG BIRD: yo what if a bird was way too fuckin big

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@kendrawcandraw the internet has covered every possibility thankfully

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@virtuaI420 here. fixed

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

HYPOTHESIS: if adding ONE Spider-Man to a movie makes it BETTER, adding ALL the Spider-Mans to your movie should make it PERFECT. CONCLUSION:

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@virtuaI420 VERY MUCH disagree with Anime Paulie Walnuts

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

putting daughter to bed routine: -kiss & hug (in that order. If I hug first, we have to start over) -"see you later! bye bye!". we repeat this a few times. I shut the door and she SCREAMS it again. I am expected to scream it back through the closed door, or she starts crying.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

@Srirachachau "Wait til I tell my friends Doctor Strange, Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts, and Flash Thompson about this!"

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

List of banned Simpsons episodes: -‘Stark Raving Dad’ (Michael Jackson episode) -‘The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson’ (WTC episode) -‘The Subway We Were’ (the episode where Marge looks directly at the camera and says “Jared Fogle of Subway is innocent of all accusations”)

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

One time someone emailed me asking for Rebecca's contact info because she wrote something funny enough they wanted to inquire about tv stuff. The point is she will be doing big TV stuff soon so get in on the ground floor

Rebecca Caplan

@NotThatReba

5 years

Today both myself and prince harry were let go from our employer. Him from his bubbe and I from CollegeHumor. So, if you'd like to hire me to write on your television show that would just be incredibly hot and sexy of you I think!!!

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

IMPORTANT: Tony the Tiger is a goddamn liar. He has no idea whether or not Frosted Flakes are great. To him, they just taste like corn flakes.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@dimension20show Katie is stupidly funny and I mean that in the most sincere admiring way. Her sketches have put images in my head that I will never forget. No one could make dancing around with shit in their pants for 90 seconds as funny as she did

Katie Marovitch

@KatieMarovitch

5 years

I really appreciate all the love. I’ve been at CollegeHumor for almost exactly six years. It’s been my entire post-college life. I’m going to miss working with my best friends. #collegehumor

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@dimension20show Tristan is literally a genius. He is beyond smart and savvy about online, but he is also deeply funny and creative. Bringing him aboard was one of the easiest and smartest things I ever have done. He secretly conquered videogame twitter in his off hours

Tristan Cooper

@TristanACooper

5 years

Hey folks, I was just laid off -- if you're looking for writing or social media work from the person behind @CanYouPetTheDog , my DMs are open. RTs super appreciated!

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

so what exactly is the deal with owls in the animal crossing universe

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@ZacOyama Zac I don't often get overly sincere on this website but you would genuinely be the best imaginable Mr. Bean. it should be like Dr Who and he transforms into you. You can wear a slightly different outfit

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

3 years

@BrotiGupta 30 feral cats are being released into the White House so major is too distracted to bite any more humans

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

billie eilish and aubrey plaza look like different pokemon evolutions of the same eevee-esque celeb

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

reminder that @Williesillie2 is the only non-transphobic official author of Harry Potter

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

the journey of Drawfee has been hard fought and incredible, cannot wait to see where they go from here

Drawfee Show

@DrawfeeShow

4 years

BIG BIG NEWS: We're independent now and FULL of emotions. Thank you SO much to everyone for being the amazing supporters that you have been. We couldn't have done this without you. We have a Patreon with a ton of tier rewards and a new store with DFTBA!

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

I have never met Lily in person but she is insanely funny and is SO good in the upcoming season of @dimension20show . Very good at posting as well

Lily Du, 杜莉丽

@LilyD

5 years

I was laid off at collegehumor today along with my talented funny coworkers. It was truly a dream job. ✌️ Anyways, if you wanna hire me: I'm a comedic writer/performer and I'll dye my hair whatever color you need. 👩‍🎤 Here's all the vids I wrote at CH:

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

(*walking into a Trader Joe's*) "ahhh i love my quaint little neighborhood bodega."

Andrew Yang🧢⬆️🇺🇸

@AndrewYang

4 years

New York City loves its bodegas! The 14,000 bodegas are vital to our city - let’s support them and keep them open. 👍❤️🗽

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

4 years

@KelgoreTrout sunny has always been true, it represents the soul of america

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

@dimension20show @TablePopDorkly Rekha kicks ass and somehow, in addition to being funny and great at CollegeHumor, was in like 4 other huge funny defining comedy things last year? Anyways I'm going to tell people I knew her when she's big n famous even though I only ever met her on slack

Rekha Shankar

@rekhalshankar

5 years

I’m so honored to have worked at @CollegeHumor . It gave me a shot in LA, it let me experiment, it let me grow, and it introduced me to creatives who I hope to work with and, most importantly, eat with for years to come. I am forever grateful ❤️

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

the greatest missed opportunity in cinematic history was not making Chris Pratt’s character in Jurassic World a grown up version of the “six foot turkey” kid from Jurassic Park who Grant teaches to respect raptors

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

@thelindsayellis @WilliamBibbiani @uberbikegeek william honestly your review that consisted of nothing but two hours of guttural moans of ecstasy will revolutionize the film criticism world

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

PARASITE is the story of a poor family who gained everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

6 years

@parker_nw @ForAmerica @nbc @Macys I am now triple gay. I’m so gay that i can turn people gay by thinking about them. I have transcended the mortal plane and am one with the gayverse

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

2 years

@mike_puterbaugh @JuliaLepetit still waiting on confirmation that blastoise's water cannons actually are shooting piss

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Andrew Bridgman

@bridgmandrew

5 years

the themes of dr seuss HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS: the importance of community over material wealth THE LORAX: the importance of the environment and the dangers of corporate greed THE CAT IN THE HAT: hey what if a cat just fucked up all of your shit for like no reason

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