Berlaymonster @Berlaymonster Twitter profile

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Berlaymonster

24 days

You can say what you want about European competitiveness, but there is absolutely no disputing the fact that the EU leads the world in 400-page reports

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Last Seen Profiles

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

Name me a tweet format more annoying than this one. I'll wait.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

BREAKING European Commission statement on #Suez incident.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

"And you can give us back zat big torch lady statue en plus connard"

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

There once was a fellow named Armin, The CDU thought would be charmin'. But now he's in charge, The losses are large, And their prospects are lookin' alarmin'.

POLITICOEurope

@POLITICOEurope

3 years

Caption this 👇

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

@AdamBienkov or first acting lesson.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

BREAKING: EU OFFERS TO READ WITHDRAWAL AGREEMENT OUT LOUD VERY SLOWLY. WITH PICTURES. #fantasyheadlines

Larissa Kennelly

@LarissaKennelly

6 years

Commission pres Juncker: room for further interpretation and clarification without opening up withdrawal agreement #brexit

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

EU: OK. BORIS: What? EU: OK. We agree to your offer. BORIS: What?... But... EU: We agree. Good. Go ahead. BORIS: But... but it's unworkable! EU: AHAAAAAAAA

Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

BREAKING: EU TO AGREE TO BORIS BREXIT OFFER 'FOR THE LOLZ' #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

Go on Jeremy. GO ON Jeremy. GO ON JEREM.... #pmqs

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

#Macron v #LePen support base is largely along 12thC Plantaganet/Angevin Empire v French Kingdom lines...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Intern: "So will we be getting to grips with actual policy work?" Commission: "Oh absolutely."

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 months

Such a relief to see everybody on the same sofa!

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

"THERESA MAY HITS BACK WITH JUNCKER IMPERSONATION" #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

9 years

. @bucklitsch I've edited your tweet for you. My pleasure. http://t.co/GiJLzdXfM6

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

#Zuckerberg sets out Facebook's relationship with EU.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

BREAKING: MACRON UNVEILS FULL BACK TATTOO OF ROBERT SCHUMAN #PFUE2022 @Europe2022FR

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

MAJOR concession here from EU side. Using imperial measurements.

Jim Brunsden

@jimbrunsden

4 years

#EU and #UK say they will "go the extra mile" and continue #Brexit talks. "We have accordingly mandated our negotiators to continue the talks and to see whether an agreement can even at this late stage be reached" @vonderleyen says talks will continue in #Brussels

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Reminder, in EU diplospeak it goes: Fruitful - Chilly Frank & constructive - Icy Long & frank - Fucking Arctic

Charles Michel

@eucopresident

6 years

Long and frank discussion with PM @theresa_may ahead of #Brexit summit. Clear that EU27 wants to help. The question is how.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

I can't believe it's taken me this long, but just discovered that MARGARITIS SCHINAS is an anagram of HAS A MIGRANT CRISIS ...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

EU'S VESTAGER LAUNCHES DUOPOLY INVESTIGATION AGAINST FRANCE & GERMANY OVER TOPJOB COLLUSION #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

BREAKING: CORONAVIRUS AGREES TO PAUSE WHILE EUROPE UNSHAMBLES ITS VACCINATION STRATEGY #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

"I want full access to the bathroom, but I don't want to be in the bathroom". - "How are you going to use the bathroom?" "From the hallway". - *closes bathroom door*

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

17 days

BREAKING: Commission introduces dynamic pricing for tickets to today's midday briefing

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

9 years

"Gentlemen, there's only one way we're going to settle this." #euco

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

To avoid confusion in future between EU institutional presidents, Charles Michel will be known henceforth as 'Chairman.'

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

Judge 1: What you got today? Judge 2: Oh fundamental rights and protection of data. You? Judge 1: Oh, nothing. Judge 2: Go on? Judge 1: .... Well, you know the bits at the end of laces? Judge 2: Yeah. Judge 1: That. Whether you can trademark red ones.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

European Commission statement on the US/Iran situation:

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

#Brexit preparations underway at the Gateway to the Continent.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

Fixed it. You're welcome.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

Brussels events organisers: stuck for a name for your upcoming snoozefest? Here's a handy Conference-Name Generator, new, from Berlaymonster, created by conference veteran @mseltzermayr .

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

@YorkshireTea They're angry at the wrong tea.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

Starting a Conference on the Future of the Conference on the Future of Europe. Who's in?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Welcome to the European Parliament Mr Zuckerberg. Here's how it works: 17 people do some grandstanding, and then if there's any time left, you get to answer whatever questions you want. Including ones that weren't asked.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

"Britain was left on its own. It had taken back control from the unelected bureaucrats of Rome. And was free at last to explore its own proud destiny. And it did that by immediately entering the dark ages." ht @missdianemorgan

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

and is going to make the boar pay for it.

POLITICOEurope

@POLITICOEurope

6 years

Denmark has started constructing a fence to keep Germany's wild boar out of the country

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

First Flagey, now this. Next, Palais de Justice.

Nick Gutteridge

@nickgutteridge

6 years

Place Jourdan is actually FINISHED! I never thought I’d live to see the day...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

@joelycett Two birds, one stone...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

Why this is doomed from the outset: You can't expect to launch a 'dialogue with the citizens' with the opening gambit: "The Executive Board approved on 9 May the Rules of Procedure that set out the composition of the Plenary of the Conf..."zzzzzzz

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

"Full alignment" means the UK will, having taken back control, of its own free will and in total self-determining sovereignty, do exactly what the EU says.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

Raab saying this morning that China has to uphold its international treaty obligations is... um...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

"mistakes were made, bins were overturned, but I was inspecting the bin in a personal capacity, not as a dog. It's regrettable that this was not made clear at the time."

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

How would that differ from the last 20 years?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

GDPR was adopted more than two years ago, people. Two years. This is like doing your homework on the bus on the way to school. *shakes head condescendingly*

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

@BrunoBrussels However did they crack the case? (circled on the left is the police station. circled on the right is the bar. The street is basically the station car park.)

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

[I'm going to start inventing names of made-up trade-deal models. See if they catch on.] "I reckon we're headed for a Comesa-Lite with a Singapore exemption."

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

@AdamBienkov First skiing lesson.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

@Otto_English @MarinaHyde It's like he's taken a Jingoism Fridge Poetry kit and just thrown it at the fridge.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

9 years

I hear that one #FIFA official, when approached by police, leapt to the floor and rolled around clutching his ankle.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

BREAKING: EU TO REPLACE 'ANGLAIS CASSÉ' WITH BELGIAN FRENCH - France still not pleased #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Does writing something on a goat make it more or less credible than if it's written on the side of a bus?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

"13 BILLION? WHERE ARE WE GOING TO FIND 13 B... oh.. other pocket. There you go." #AppleTax

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

I don't hold out much hope for this new CSI spin-off.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

David Davis to become Minister for Exiting the Department for Exiting the EU #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

or like saying you've arrived at a city whereas you've actually arrived at a completely different town 60 km from your actual destination, meaning your journey is far from over.

Ryanair

@Ryanair

4 years

Trump declaring victory this early is like disembarking before the plane has landed we don't recommend #Election2020

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

is ... is she really timing her departure for the end of May?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

"and if they turn down *this* option, we've got one more up our sleeve."

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

"It was a lovely gesture, but frankly not enough to hand over full financial-services equivalence rights." a commission spokesman said.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

What's the German word for Doppelgänger?

Senator Chris Coons

@ChrisCoons

3 years

I’m glad we could meet with German counterparts to re-affirm our strong & enduring relationship. I especially enjoyed re-engaging with German Vice Chancellor Olaf Scholz to discuss our partnership in defeating the pandemic, fighting climate change, & advancing our shared values.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Genuine question: Why does the UK need a Brexit Secretary? What did the last two do?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

VIP visitors to the Elysee felt obliged to tap along pensively during his intense, indulgent solos. #jazzmacron

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

By the way, why do they get to have a 'special' place?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

Better idea: share the information, but only in French or German. Same end result.

FT Europe

@ftbrussels

5 years

EU staff warned not to share information with UK

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

BREAKING: TWITTER TO DELETE EU COMMISSION ACCOUNTS OVER 'BORING' CONTENT #fantasyheadlines latest from @mseltzermayr

Twitter to delete EU commission accounts over "boring" content

US hate-basin Twitter has announced it will permanently suspend the accounts of all 27 EU commissioners, citing “horrifically boring” content. An endless slew of vapid truisms and poorly hashtagged...

www.berlaymonster.com

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

BREAKING: CORONAVIRUS IN SHARP DECLINE FOLLOWING STRONGLY WORDED EU STATEMENT #fantasyheadlines .

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

Has anyone tried turning the UK off and on again?

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

EUMS: DO SOMETHING EU: OK, what about THIS, THIS AND THIS EUMS: NO THAT'S TOO MUCH EU: OK, what about just THIS AND THIS EUMS: NO EU: This? EUMS: NOOoooooo EU: OK, here's a Mission Roadmap Towards an EU This Strategy. EUMS: WAAAAAAAAH WE NEED MORE THIS

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

REVEALED: The earlier working titles for today's EU announced 'Vaccelerate' clinical trials network.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

#specialrelationship

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Writing about Belgium? Don't know what you're talking about? No problem! Just mention: Molenbeek/Terrorism The Flemish/Walloon Thing 589 days without govt "Dysfunctional" Magritte/surrealism Dutroux/paedophile rings Net curtains Service culture Trump/hellhole Brussels/EU Moules

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

1 year

Europe needs words. Words that come in lists. Preferably lists of three, lists that build to a crescendo, lists for the people of Europe. And platitudes. Let us not forget platitudes. About unity. And delivering. Decisively. For the people of Europe.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Wait a minute... Catalan parliament votes 70 in favour of independence .... out of a total 135 seats ... that makes... *GASP*

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

"Twas the night before Brexit" etc #brexiteve

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Bloody foreigners. Coming over here fomenting xenophobia. WE'VE GOT OUR OWN XENOPHOBIA THANK YOU.

RFI English

@RFI_En

6 years

Le Pen, Salvini reject Bannon's European movement

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

What's the German position?

Let's Agree to Disagree

@Parents4Brexit

5 years

Name something you can say in a trilogue and during sex

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

9 years

OMG just LOOK at what the latest @twitter changes have done to the EU flag! *beurk*

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

It was on delivery of the new passport design that they realised there'd been a classic imperial v metric mishap.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Thread. But not sure what on yet. 1/17

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

Got hold of the draft UK/Australia trade agreement.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

*GASP* Exclusive close-up of *that* #Brexit letter...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

The EU, enraged and in fits, Is tearing a drug firm to bits, For jabs that it thought It had paid for and bought, Were actually sold to the Brits. @twitmericks

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

"I have taken the liberty to highlight in green the parts you have no choice but to agree to."

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Hmm. Curiously this poster doesn't mention the 750 000 euros of EU funding Aardman Animation has received in the last three years...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

Twas the night before Brexit. Extended version. #brexiteve

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

That UK/Frost/Brexit speech in full.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Surely if Theresa May wins on a narrow majority, her detractors will graciously accept the defeat and get over it.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

8 years

There we go. #enemiesofthepeople

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

BREAKING: EU TO AGREE TO BORIS BREXIT OFFER 'FOR THE LOLZ' #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Brexit causing headaches? ERG being a pain in the neck? Try New, Codicil (TM)

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

Important.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 months

It’s too easy sometimes

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

4 years

By my calculation, there are 351 potential bilateral vaccine-supply disputes like the EU/UK one possible within an EU of 27. Maybe centralised procurement is a good idea after all. Just better and quicker would be nice.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

@NinaDSchick GOBALD BRITAIN

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

@AndrewDuffEU @pmdfoster @piris_jc @StevePeers An Englishman, an Irishman and a Continental European walk into a bar. The Englishman says "I'll have a Piña colada" The other two say, "They don't do cocktails" Englishman "Piña colada" "No, they d..." "Piña colada" "No cocktails" ... "What about now?" ...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

The church in the 'dominant culture' backdrop here is the Chiesa di San Cataldo, "a notable example of Arab-Norman architecture" dating to a period when Sicily was "a crossroad for the interaction between Norman and Latin Catholic, Byzantine-Orthodox and Arab-Islamic cultures"

Manfred Weber

@ManfredWeber

7 years

If we want to defend our way of life we must know what determines us. Europe needs a debate on identity and dominant culture.

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Heard a French speaker say "Sympa crustacean" yesterday, and it took me a while to work out what he was talking about...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

Nice touch. Some pedestrian crossings in Brussels have been changed for #BelgianPride this weekend...

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

7 years

Good news: The Tories are now OK with experts. Bad news: I'm apparently one of the experts. *hat-doff* @DLidington

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

5 years

There once was a Dominic Raab, Who'd face the occasional barb, Is any slur sharper, Than 'brassica rapa'? Dunno, but I'll give it a staaab.

James Crisp

@JamesCrisp6

5 years

NEW: Brussels nicknamed Dominic Raab 'The Turnip' during his disastrous spell as Brexit secretary 1/ via @Telegraph

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

3 years

BREAKING: BARNIER CONTRACTS VIRULENT STRAIN OF EUROSCEPTICISM DESPITE SOCIAL DISTANCING DURING BREXIT TALKS #fantasyheadlines

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Berlaymonster

@Berlaymonster

6 years

@richardaeden @wmarybeard @DailyMailCeleb I'm Too sexy for TV Too sexy for TV More sexy than she. I'm So sexy I'm aghast, Too sexy to broadcast All about the past. Etc

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