love the famous Glasgow Rangers once a bear always a bear. Like all kind of music 80’s, 90’s GBexperience used to be a fully fledged member at Bonkers n/club
See if your still moaning about getting beat the night and moaning about players fuk off and take a good look at yer self😆we are through to the last 8 so be happy ffs😎🇬🇧
Apparently we can't visit our relatives homes but estate agents can buy and sell houses...
So I've put my house on the market and mum and dad are coming for a viewing at 5.30pm!😂😂
The big fella on his recent visit to the vets full day under anaesthetic and another £400 quid🐶 all worth it if the results come back clear, found a growth under his tongue on Monday night. He gets the front seat anytime we go to the vets to keep him happy😂🐶🐶
Some writing on my arm last night from a good mate. Wee verse from my old man’s favourite song that he always sang at parties😂 gave him a wee chant before he left us as well💙
I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for.
But what happens Christmas morning? That fat fucker with a beard gets all the credit...
Still I suppose it's my own fault for marrying her!😂😂😂
Last week, my next door neighbour asked me, "Seeing as our houses are the same design, can I ask how many rolls of wallpaper you bought to decorate the living room?"
"Thirteen," I said.
Today, he came round looking angry. "I've got three rolls left over!"
"So did I!" I said.😂😂
Don’t ask for a lot of the wean at Christmas but this is the best thing he has got me🙈 13 year old and got me a pint glass with ‘best dad love you ya fanny’😂😂😂
Just a wee update I have managed to track down the owner. Reunited with owner and his name is Bear💙 thanks to all that has retweeted much appreciated.
@jimpirrie4
5 years ago today I lost my old man and my best friend💙 they say time is a great healer and it gets easier by fuck it doesn’t still raw with me💙 cherish every sec with your parents if you can💙 the wee man would be calling me the now about the game the night😅💙💙
I rang Babestation last night. The girl on screen said, "Hi how can I help?" I said, "Fucking hide! I've lost the remote and my bird is coming down the stairs!"😂😂
Don’t usually announce the taking a wee break from here but I’m going to cause a lot of you like oor Archie so i think it’s right. I’m going to sit back for a while as i have a huge decision to make over the next few days. I’m devastated and heartbroken whilst trying to laugh 1/2
A little boy arrives home to find his mum and dad having sex on thesofa.
Dad says, "Don't worry, son I'm just filling mummy with petrol."
Son replies,”She doesn't do many miles to the gallon does she dad? Uncle Ernie only filled her up this morning and he used a bigger nozzle!😂
Just a wee update I have managed to track down the owner. Reunited with owner and his name is Bear💙 thanks to all that has retweeted much appreciated.
@jimpirrie4
Neighbour has got a pear tree at my gate they keep falling off (well Archie& Poppy keep pulling them off) daft arse is playing with it up and doon the hill🙈🐶😂😂😂
The dog ran off last night, so there I was walking round the park calling his name for 20 minutes but I couldn't find him.
My wife said I should look harder, so I shaved my head and got a tattoo. But I still can't find the fucking dog!😂😂😂
No a happy face again off tae the vets limping bad last night same leg he slashed him paw, his pad, his dual claw now he has damaged his shoulder ffs feel as if he’s related to Rossiter😂💙
My mate just asked me, "If you were stuck on a desert island, and you could have three records, what would they be?"
I said, "The long distance swimming one would be handy!"😂😂😂
Cracking day although emotional spending time with the family where we scattered my wee da’s ashes😢 spent a lot of good famiy times here over the years💔 this was the tree that he tried to climb when he was about 50 year old😁❤️❤️
Fuckin he’ll just heard that the Scottish VAR will only have 6 cameras😂😂 whilst against Dortmund there were 28 at Ibrox. Honestly never knew they were having only 6
Archie boy on route to the vets this morning poor boy couldn’t even get in the boot had to have him as my co pilot that’s him looking to see where his sister was😊 heavy pain relief and scans on Tuesday not good😭💙🐶
I was speaking to a Chinese bloke in the pub the other night.
I asked him what he does for a living and he said, "I'm a Pirate."
I said, "Oh, you sail on a boat?"
He replied, "No, I fry pranes!"😂😂😂😂😂