bel @beldrury Twitter profile

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bel

6 months

Fancy a very short story? I’d love to hear what you think (hides behind desk)

I like the idea of a ghost story that doesn't feature a malevolent spirit, or a haunting that brings solace and comfort. In this story grief is a friend, loss is a resting place between discoveries.

beldrury.substack.com

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bel

@beldrury

2 months

Air bnb should provide breakfast that’s the second b

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@beldrury

3 years

If your phones hotspot is called BIG FLOPPY DONKEY DICK and you were at the M67/M60 junction around 6, you made a ten year old boy nearly puke from laughing, thanks

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@beldrury

2 months

@curse_t_70 That’s a very low bar if you’re renting habitable space

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@beldrury

4 years

I’m allowed to tell a man - a grown man, in Lycra and fast glasses - cycling towards me to ‘fuck off the pavement’ aren’t I? He didn’t seem to think so.

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@beldrury

2 months

@JonnyCappuccino Contact the local authorities if you don’t get at the very least a croissant and a miniature pot of jam

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@beldrury

2 months

@mmccourty 😂

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bel

@beldrury

1 year

Picked up these plates in a charity shop. If any plate can harbour warm feelings, it’s this plate. The pattern is called ‘Sausage, mash and onion gravy on a wet Tuesday evening in October’ .

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bel

@beldrury

6 years

@thepunningman @Fred_Delicious I was once sitting in a hospital waiting area and the receptionist called out for Jan Sandwich

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@beldrury

3 years

Note to self: Be more Alice

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@beldrury

4 years

It’s weirdly snowing AND sunny here so I thought I’d take a nice video, got the dog shitting

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

Actually love this but if I wore it in Chester I’d get followed by school kids wanting facts about Romans

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

My hair didn’t want to go platinum so I’ve done a silver grey, I quite like it

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Please enjoy this picture of my earless whippet Arthur Moon wearing his disco bumbag today

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Pink hair don’t care (I do a bit..)

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bel

@beldrury

6 months

If your mum isn’t around you are allowed to have a lie in, buy flowers and eat chocolates yourself in her honour, she said it was fine 🌸

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bel

@beldrury

3 months

It’s my birthday today so I am having a fried egg sandwich and a cup of tea and not answering the text from the kids dad asking me to look after them on his week of parenting, again.

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bel

@beldrury

2 months

@PyramidHead76 Oh yeah we all do but b still stands for breakfast, otherwise before long it’ll be hammocks too

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

How effing cool is this frock?? I did a literal double take when I saw it. It’s absolute prime #80s even has shoulder pads!!

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

It’s the fact that they’re chopping a fucking tomato in half, wrapping it in clingfilm and offering it to families to feed their kids that will stick with me. They don’t even have the choice to chuck it back in their fat faces

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bel

@beldrury

18 days

This morning I put Arthur on Borrow my Doggy - I don’t see how I can continue to not share his adorability.

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

People please is this dress festive and cute/vintage/perky or is it just fucking stupid? I can’t decide

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

I don’t understand how America has raccoons and we don’t

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

With the sound off this is a midwife demonstrating how to properly wash your hands

ace🪽

@taerimasu

5 years

dj khaled only has three words in his vocabulary

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bel

@beldrury

2 years

When I was about 12, my step dad and I were talking about his mate Nev and right then he walked through the door. I said “ooh speak of the Neville” and honestly that’s when I peaked

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bel

@beldrury

6 years

@angstgoose @thepunningman @Fred_Delicious ROLAND BUTTER! I don’t know about that but you’ve just reminded me of a boy in my junior school who’s name was Guy Spangles✨

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bel

@beldrury

2 years

“Fleeting temples”

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bel

@beldrury

1 year

@clhubes Coincidentally my 10 came to me in tears, frustrated because she couldn’t fasten her new swimsuit top. So we had a cuddle and then we sat and went through it. The fiddly mechanism, the ‘do it in front and twist it round’ manoeuvre. I’m grateful I still get these opportunities 😊

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

@whartonswords @CCriadoPerez Yknow what. My 6yr old girl doesn’t want to wear a playsuit. They have to be almost completely removed to go for a wee which takes longer and then it trails in the inevitable pools of piss that the little boys leave behind because it’s mixed sex toilets at that age

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

We’re doing an experiment to see all the things that can happen in a month so I’ve shaved my head, for #science ✊

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Some days I can’t be bothered getting dressed up, other days I’m like....

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

If you come for an expensive dinner and bring a bottle of wine, you don’t take it with you if it doesn’t get drunk. Wtf

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

If you’re near me (Wrexham) and have kids but need to work, bring them over, i have good outdoor space, kids already, and a glut of books and crafty stuff. Lunch is included.

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Colder than I thought so I lent Arthur my scarf

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bel

@beldrury

6 years

@jessokfine @jackiembouvier This one by @thepunningman

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Spring clean haircut

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

Actually fits a real person (me) how did this happen? 🤯 🏆

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

My cat is fat and my dog is skinny

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bel

@beldrury

6 months

@_harrymcbeth Best part of working behind the bar is looking at all hopeful faces and choosing the best one to be my next customer

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bel

@beldrury

1 year

Sad that Jane Birkin has died and sad that I’m only seeing photos of her as a gamine 20 something year old I’m sure she had a full and fascinating middle and old age and she also looked beautiful

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

@Converse @ItGetsBetter @OUTMetroWest @FenwayHealth Oh converse no. That’s a small child 🤦🏻‍♀️

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bel

@beldrury

2 years

Did you know: After a mammogram or other similar procedure (smear) you are legally permitted to stuff your face with cake and go back to bed to mope for an hour

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

This nspcc thing is really bringing the worms out of the woodwork. Or are we supposed to expect that men are unable to do a days work without breaking off for a wank in the staff toilet?

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

I think I chose the right time of day to have my solo walk. No dog, no kids, just me and this

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bel

@beldrury

2 months

@scriptwren It’s good to get these things sorted beforehand

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bel

@beldrury

2 years

Found this gorgeous old lady next to me in the car park

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bel

@beldrury

1 year

Just had a hair cut at a proper walk-in barbers who hasn’t cut ‘women’s hair’ for ten years and it’s honestly the best, easiest, least faff of any haircut I’ve had including ones I’ve done myself

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

#NewProfilePic

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

John Lewis Xmas ad always catches the mood doesn’t it. This time it’s a bleak Middle Ages level of cold and suffering, children in sack cloth and a fat little monster burning everything down

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

This is #TuxedoFriday after all

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Bar tonight. Ready for gin. Wear a hat 🎩

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Just look at my little sister, she’s been working hard feeding her 4 month old every hour through the nights and looking after a 5 yr old as well but she still manages to light a room ♥️

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bel

@beldrury

5 months

Twitter women and women only please, when you’re reading a sexy bit in a book would you rather read a coy and flowery description of ‘lady parts’ or an ‘I own it’ cunty description? It’s for a thing

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

I did it

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Look what autumn dusk did to my window last night! The blues are SO vivid, peacock and azure and aquamarine, cobalt and deep sapphire #church #AutumnEquinox

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

It’s pink! I’m debating whether to go full on rinky dink pink or whatever colour they have left in boots

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

I have finished my jumper #win

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

Wasting time in in tk maxx wafting my hands over the rails muttering “but I don’t NEED anythi…. Oh!”

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

Ladies and gentlemen, my child.

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

@_adropofred She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies and all that’s best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more one ray the less had half impaired the namel

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

I really don’t want to pay sainsburys for 2 disgusting Christmas jumpers so the kids can dress like arseholes for ONE day at school. none of it makes sense

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Do you still get a tiny pang of uncertainty whenever you get on the train because it might be the wrong one?

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Sometimes a car parks wonky so the next car has to park wonky to fit in, then the first car goes away and leaves the car that had to park wonky looking like a right tater. It might not be that second cars fault that it is wonky. Wonky.

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

I’ve put makeup on for the first time in months for the BT engineer. He’d better show up

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

@johnmceneaney @jackremmington Macawoni in a pot

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bel

@beldrury

1 year

This is how to festival

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

A man so oily he’s actually slid up his own arse

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bel

@beldrury

2 years

I have this thing stuck to me, any idea what to do with it?

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

For Friday night bar business I’m wipe clean (dog not included)

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bel

@beldrury

7 months

A woman on the Facebook area group has “just had a baby five days ago” and wants to know what there is for her to do in the village So I’m setting up a sleep group where new mothers just lay on mats in a church hall for an hour £25pp inc biscuits

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

I has succumbed to fashion and bought myself some shiny plastic jeans. Is it too Cher to wear them with long boots? And should I care? Cher’s fucking awesome

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

Birthday shoes have arrived, which means it’s my birthday again obvs

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

@pissaround @idlewildgirl And when you can finally afford one you realise your new aim in life is to have a £60 pillow

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

Papa is in l’hôpital after a heart attack on Wednesday pm. Resuscitated twice in the ambulance on the way (an hours journey) police escort! Had a pacemaker fitted the next morning, hopes to be out on Monday. god bless the French healthcare system 🇫🇷

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bel

@beldrury

2 years

What if getting caught watching porn and THEN having to pathetically explain himself to the news like a snivelling little bitch IS his kink and now we’re ALL complicit in his sorry little erection?

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Anyone got a gigantic bowling ball?

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bel

@beldrury

1 year

I just read the email and it’s basically the script for an episode of Posh Eastenders.

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

My stepmum and dad drove off to the airport this morning to see Rod Stewart in Malaga. they are back. Couldn’t find the airport parking

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bel

@beldrury

7 months

I forgot I took this on the way in to work. #Chester you are byoodiful

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

I’m watching Flash Gordon and had totally forgotten how ridiculously fabulous the costumes are

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Who can read the word Chernobyl without your mind saying ‘fall off’ ?

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

I bought a hat. It is too big ☹️

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

@DrHWeb @StigAbell A lot of people already aren’t heating their homes, people in poverty once again taking the brunt of the effort, making a virtue out of necessity

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Showing off 🙌

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bel

@beldrury

5 months

@disappoptimism People should bear this in mind when they start thinking about running a marathon

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

My #lifegoal is to watch so much Alan Partridge that I am able to quote him in relevant situations, like “big plate”

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

After all this is over I’m NEVER staying in when I could be going out. Fuck that shit. Fuck sleeping and telly and homeschooling. Fuck hobbies. Fuck learning a fucking instrument and fuck reading. Fuck it

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Just think. By this time next month we’ll all be pissed 🥳

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

“Simply refill the beanbag and zip up”

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

Jeff Goldblum could come into the bar tonight, I feel ready to receive him

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Mr Blue Sky, just thinking about it makes me grin

Ciara

@Ciara87C

5 years

Whats the song that makes your soul feel inextricably happy every time you hear the opening bars? Mine is the Lets stay together intro by Al Green. No matter my mood i just melt

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Frocking my head off tonight

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

I beg you please someone find a cure for the coronavirus 🙏

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Disco boots

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

This summer I’ve made peace with my upper arms. Still, if you see me in public you’re not allowed to mention them ok?

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

The smell of Arthur’s ears is special migraine medicine

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Easter frock 🐰

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bel

@beldrury

3 years

This top is made from the sewing pattern I bought that confused me for a week before I just cut out threw away the bits I didn’t need. I made the skirt in one afternoon (today) from a YouTube tutorial. IT HAS POCKETS 🤘😍🤘

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bel

@beldrury

4 years

My eldest son is coming to live back at home due to mental health issues. I’m not going to hide it, I don’t know how it will go, but let’s see where it takes us. Any guidance or experience much appreciated #mentalhealth #MentalHealthAwareness

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Anyone want a cat that won’t shut the fuck up about dinner?

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bel

@beldrury

5 years

Freeing the frockage, feeling a bit Angie Watts and if you tell me it looks like a bird shat on my shoulder you’ll get chucked aht

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