Barny Boatman @barnyboatman Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Barny Boatman

8 years

The only time anyone ever says "I like a joke as much as the next person" is when there's a joke they don't like as much as the next person.

11

37

187

Last Seen Profiles

@stw46

@DGraymanFR1

@BucksSchoolsFA

@stwmaniax

@kylenabecker

@Umblumb_

@sarah_alasmak

@MABO43557124

@_sakurawakana_

@ArgyleExecForum

@SlGKee

@QuionaShar78137

@stwmaniax

@SAlH6uUPnIdNiwJ

@_CariSL

@gloomy0121

@sefurisan_japan

@ObeikanGroup

@BinorRaja

@luvpoaster

@sheloveskaz

@Alchemp11

@LashandraT43160

@CShawn88620

@BethanieSh5147

@PapiTrumpo

@guille_barbieri

@Becki2285

@laorratAmp

@BelaNatlie84926

@frh450001

@cortez66995

@stwmaniax

@joaco_est

@deargvd

@Lavaporeon

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

If it takes a train three days to get to Euston, a letter two weeks to get delivered and a nurse six weeks work to pay a month’s bills, how long can Rishi keep his job? #Maths

64

837

3K

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

@sclancy79 @NFL @Nike It’s the continued killing of unarmed black adults and children without justice or redress that is offensive. The anthem and the flag are not the issue.

24

91

2K

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 months

Gonna reply to all the messages tomorrow. Thanks for all the love. It means everything. 😊

142

9

1K

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 months

The great thing about being the oldest ever EPT winner is that every time I play I’ll have a shot at breaking the record.

59

27

934

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

@jonnygould @DPJHodges As a Jewish person who has supported taking the knee against racial injustice ever since Colin Kaepernick first made his eloquent peaceful protest, I can tell you that it doesn’t carry any ‘anti-Semitic baggage’ and I resent being used in the argument.

8

32

788

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

If the old and vulnerable are going to isolate for months the supermarkets must prioritise them for deliveries. My mum is 93 and has relied on deliveries for years. Now she can’t get them. @BorisJohnson @jeremycorbyn @Ocado Please retweet if you agree.

79

697

695

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

10 months

If #LukeLittler had turned up on a small boat, not a single Daily Mail reader would have accepted that he was a child.

9

126

708

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

Kassouf is rattling off his standard attention seeking drivel at the next table. “Back home they call me the iron, because I iron people out.” I’ve got news for you mate. That’s not what we call you.

25

51

633

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

@padspoker That’s ok buddy. While ‘Barny Boatman’ has been doubling up with 5,3 Patrick Leonard’ has been ordering cocktails for everyone at the pool and charging it to his room. 🥤 Cheers. 😁

8

6

563

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 years

@realDonaldTrump However low you set the bar, you always manage to slither under it. Using those victims to attack the Russia probe is as despicable as it gets.

4

39

497

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 years

@ewc1981 @LepraGranata @Bgamer90 @BuffaloManic @BillyCorben Because if he were a 12 year old black kid with a TOY gun or a black guy with a faulty tail light there's a high chance the cops'd kill him.

15

27

456

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

You know how us old folk love our bingo… #FourCardRunGood ⁦ @PokerStarsLIVE ⁩ ⁦ @PokerStars ⁩

70

14

444

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

I don't care if your article contains the secret to guaranteed wealth, or eternal youth. If I have to 'Start Gallery' it ain't worth it.

2

214

429

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

Someone offered me a job today. A job! Like I’m gonna fall for another of those get-rich-slow schemes.

8

47

432

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

The real cheating scandal is all these kids using machines to ‘solve’ poker, then smuggling in the answers inside their heads.

11

14

405

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

@silly_emily3 @sclancy79 @NFL @Nike 😂 No no. I’m sure I’m only a couple of tweets away from turning Trump around.

5

1

363

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

However low the bar may have been set, last night I played my worst poker in twenty years and I’d like to apologise to my backer for wasting the buy-in. I’d like to, but unfortunately I’m not backed and it was my own fucking money.

9

24

388

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 months

Woke up hungover and covered in little patches. Then I remembered a great night of poker and comedy at the 300th PokerInTheEars at the Hippodrome. Thank you @Stapes @J_Hartigan @PokerStars and everyone who came to play. I know I’m gonna love being an Ambassador.

28

7

371

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

Most of these poker cheating issues could be solved if we devised some way of playing the game in a ‘live’ environment where the players were actually present and visible, using physical objects in three dimensional space to represent the hands, bet sizes etc. It’s the future.

30

17

358

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 years

I'm taking a break from tournament poker in order to spend more time with my money.

4

45

339

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

12 days

@monstroso

3

2

341

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

Guy on my left calls my utg raise with A6 and flops AA6. He then complains that with his luck, if I’d had a bigger ace I’d have probably have turned my house. How miserable must you be to invent imaginary beats to moan about?

16

6

317

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

To be fair to Mike Postle, people make decisions with their crotch all the time.

12

17

312

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 months

@Dr_BellaR Sounds like you should stay home and decorate your front room. 🤷🏼‍♂️

6

0

322

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

I made it across from Canada last night. I’ve never been so happy to hand over ten grand that I won’t ever see again. The only sure thing about this Main Event is it’s gonna be… different.

37

3

296

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

I’m now one of two Brits to have fifty WSOP cashes. The difference is it took me eighteen years, and Stephen Chidwick did it in about a week.

11

5

276

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

The bigger the tournament buy-in, the less I care who wins. If you’re pulling up 250k re-entries, you’ve already *got* life changing money.

10

14

265

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

10 months

@shaundeeb @PhilGalfond Everyone is against cancel culture til there’s someone they want to cancel. Fair play to @PhilGalfond for taking a clear, well reasoned and honourable position.

7

8

260

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

I hear the blog say’s that Will Kassouf knocked me out last night. No, he donked off a huge chunk in the coup to the bloke with kings. I dunno how Will gets his chips, but I’m guessing he picks up most of them on the break.

19

5

239

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

When you start out playing poker you make a lot of terrible plays that you just can’t justify or explain. Over time though you will improve, and you’ll come up with ever more tortuous and verbose reasons for having murdered your chips.

5

25

233

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

1 year

@TXDarinLopez @EdKrassen No Trump apologist can respond to any accusation against him without deploying the phrase ‘what about.’ Be it rape, fraud, extortion, treason, obstruction you can always find someone else who you claim did something similar. *What about* you just accept that your guy’s a crook?

27

15

230

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

Handy if you want to open a joint account...

10

31

226

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

Ten years ago I had a great poker deal and thought I’d be freerolling the rest of my life. Yesterday I had a blowout in the fast lane and span the car. But I managed to drive to the hard shoulder, and now I *know* I’ll be freerolling the rest of my life.

22

1

225

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 months

@OwenJones84 We love him in Islington North I’d never vote against him. His treatment by Starmer was despicable. I’ve voted Labour all my life and never will again.

1

31

216

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

10 years

@MooseAllain My phone autocorrected 'I respect your decision, have a good life' to 'don't leave me, I'm begging you.' Awkward.

1

83

214

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

At hand for for hand in @WSOP Milly Maker. Player has a big river decision for all his chips. Nobody has called clock. Floor walks by and puts him on 20 seconds. Say’s “We’ve told to hurry things up” Refuses to reconsider or call TD. Absolute disgrace. Comment please @JackEffel

26

5

214

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

Guy just said he didn’t believe I had a set of sixes as he was blocking them with the six in his hand. I said I doubted that as I was blocking his six with the two in mine.

6

4

204

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

I think with 10 bigs or less, you should be allowed to leave a shove-fold chart in your seat and go to the bar.

3

54

198

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

@Joeingram1 Dunno if this counts, but someone did this with one of my tweets and I was chuffed. 😁

6

1

199

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 months

Well, I may not be chip leader, but no one has more time bank cards left than me. What is there to think about for thirty second? #EPTParis

41

5

203

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

1 year

Old butterfingers drops the ball again. Waddaya gotta do to get some bling around here? #WSOPE

30

3

199

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

Excuse me if I’m more moved today by the loss of a hugely talented actor at the height of her creative powers than a retired royal twice her age on whom no expense or effort was spared to keep him going well into his hundredth year. #HelenMcCrory

17

9

195

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

@ryanwilliams97 I didn't know women menstruated from their bladders, but I guess if you can talk out of your arse...

0

9

177

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

@PhilGalfond Dunno. The good ones never get up from the table:

7

0

193

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 months

Made a cup of tea, forgot to drink it. Went to put it in the microwave and found the last cup of tea that I’d forgotten to take out about an hour ago. Anyone want a piece of me in a Triton high roller?

16

0

187

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

There’s no way you haven’t got ten minutes in your day that would be better spent listening to @garyyounge putting US violence into context.

Double Down News

@DoubleDownNews

4 years

Black Lives Still Matter @garyyounge

51

1K

2K

12

92

180

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

@GeorgeMonbiot Death postponer.

1

18

171

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

@Jaimi_Shrive I want to enjoy England’s win, but the men making these cruel abusive and perverted comments make me sick, angry and ashamed. Football is a unifying human experience and everyone should be able to recognise and empathise with this child’s emotional response to her team’s loss.

3

5

168

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

A good friend who’s lived and worked in London since she was 18 (30 years) has just paid two grand to be told, without explanation, that she has to leave. You can say what you want about frictionless trade and straight bananas, but don’t be telling me this is not pure bullshit.

17

59

167

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

Imagine if the reigning WSOP champion wanted to stop them dealing rivers when he was ahead on the turn.

14

25

173

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

When listing the main poker styles people always miss out Passive Aggressive. You won’t get rich, but if you don’t like being pushed around and wanna suck out as much as possible then calling every bet while glaring and muttering “fuck you too” is very much the way to go.

12

5

168

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

@VictoriaCoren “Ungrateful” used about any non-white person deemed to have benefited in some way from the western nation they live (often born) in, and have the temerity to criticise, whether by taking the knee or not liking six unnecessary years in jail, is the new “uppity”. Standard racism.

4

1

165

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

All those people tweeting “I never had central heating back in the day and I was fine.” You never had broadband either, and we’d all be fine if you still didn’t.

7

13

169

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

@jrc1921 @SoozUK The reason you shouldn’t just throw around comparisons to 30’s Germany is not because ‘you shouldn’t do it’. It’s because you should save it for times like this, when it’s exactly the right comparison to make. Cooper is pathetic.

1

10

167

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

@PennyRed Yep. Trump might have done him a huge favour by calling him ‘Sleepy Joe’. Anyone asleep is better than Trump awake.

0

3

158

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

I’m telling you, I taught him everything he knew.

20

2

166

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

There is no rational universe in which, seven weeks hence, it will be OK to fly in from around the globe to queue for bathrooms, buffets and payouts, mill about in corridors and squeeze round tables to pass around chips and cards in a giant bug incubating freezer in the desert.

18

15

159

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

If they keep banning winning players from online sites, eventually it will just be me and @JohnnyDuthie playing heads up. Then just him.

1

158

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

In poker you’re no one til somebody’s made one of your tweets into a meme. And then, let’s face it, you’re still no one. Thanks to Chris Da-Silver for showing me this.

6

9

159

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

Great news. I just typed ‘ducking’ on my phone and the spell checker changed it to ‘fucking’. I’ve finally worn the bastard down.

2

8

158

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

@GaryLineker Mate, they don’t pay you enough to... Oh wait, they do don’t they. 😉

0

142

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 months

When Rania Nasreddine came to our table on day one of EPT Monte Carlo the first thing she did was ask everyone where we came from. Then one by one she sent us all back there. A great run from a brave and tough player. Congratulations @raniatalk

3

5

158

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 months

I’m telling you now that if I don’t win the WSOP main this year it will mean it was rigged. Not even Mother Teresa could beat me in a fair game.

15

6

155

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

I can dodge rulings baby.

1

10

154

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

I only play poker when I need more money. Or when I don't need the money I've got.

3

49

147

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

The best speech play is selective, situational, imaginative, original and often reactive. Jabbering non-stop is not speech, it's noise.

6

31

144

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

Oh yeah, “on line poker is way more skilled than live.” Just like cooking is harder when you have recipe books, and scales, and all like cookers and ingredients and that.

16

7

146

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 years

Old Texan at Southpoint: "How'd you Londoners feel about your Muslim mayor?" "Great." "Really?" "Yes. How'd you like your moron president?"

2

42

143

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

1 year

John Duthie, the first poker player to win a million quid, in the first ever lived televised event, is riding high in the @WSOP day three chip counts. I was gonna make this a caption competition, but he’s wearing the caption already.

19

3

147

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

The stupid fairly recent affectation, where players flick in a single chip and can’t be arsed to say ‘call’ should never have been allowed to stand. It is an accident/angle waiting to happen and should be expunged from the game. Shove in a stack or say the word you lazy posers.

Allen Kessler

@AllenKessler

6 years

Tough ruling. You make the call. Cliff notes. Bet of 50K. Raise to 100K but caller only puts out 95K. Original raiser shoves. Caller fixes bet to 100K. Raiser assumes call of all in and tables hand.

27

0

6

10

18

139

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

Happy Valentine's y'all.

1

77

137

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

1 year

I’m seriously considering filling my car with bananas and handing them out free at The Horseshoe, just for the pleasure of watching the @WSOP cafe’s five dollar specimens rot on the counter.

14

4

140

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

8 years

The hypocrisy is not in the copying of Obama's words, it's in pretending to share her values. #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes

3

50

127

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

They’ve done it with guns, with climate change and with universal health care. And now they’re doing it with covid-19. Things the whole world agrees on are somehow divisive left/right issues in America. We can see you, you raving nut jobs.

7

12

138

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

@UberFacts Been a while since anyone has wrapped their taste receptors round mine.

1

3

133

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 months

CEO of Twitter.

Wide Awake Media

@wideawake_media

2 months

8K

381

2K

7

8

141

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

1 year

@DuncBall @JeremyVineOn5 @theJeremyVine @OwenJones84 @thedebbiemcgee Done the sums, and I can confirm that 75% of UK applications is substantially less than 35% of French applications. Whichever school you studied maths in, I wouldn’t bother going back. But if you do, I’d make some enquiries about punctuation as well.

3

0

138

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 years

I just got an email from Amazon: ‘Have you left your Christmas shopping til the last minute?’ No. Not fucking yet I haven’t.

2

21

139

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 months

A tea bag and some hot water at the WSOP cafe: Eight bucks. “Would you like a receipt sir?” “That’s OK thanks, no one’s gonna believe it anyway.”

11

6

139

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

All you soppy “All lives matter” merchants who don’t think it’s necessary to affirm specifically that Black Lives Matter, look me in the eye and say you believe Rittenhouse would have even lived to stand trial, let alone been acquitted on all charges, if he was black.

9

7

138

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

Bloke in seat three just kicked off at me for nothing. Leaned into my face and growled “You need to learn to be nice to people.” “Well I’m not gonna learn it from you.” I pointed out. He looks like he’s working on a come back. I’ll keep you posted.

8

0

131

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

How should the @WSOP solve the critical dearth of experienced dealers for next years series?

Higher pay

956

More money

187

Enhanced remuneration

255

Adequate compensation

676

53

8

126

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

Having a friendly chat about the World Cup with a couple of Trumpsters, but they don’t seem impressed by my suggestion for improving future US chances. What America really needs to do is let in more Mexicans.

3

14

123

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

“Nigel Farage is a racist cunt” is an anagram of “Is Nigel Farage a racist cunt?” That can’t just be a coincidence.

4

9

128

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 months

Just spotted @spraggy and wished him “good luck today”. Then I realised he was he was on the up escalator to the car park as I was heading down to the action. Sorry mate, no rub down intended.

7

0

130

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

When I was eight the teacher asked us to raise our hands if we thought a fridge made a room warmer, colder, or made no difference. I was the only one who voted ‘warmer’. I’m not saying I was the smartest kid in class, but I knew a fucking trick question when I saw one.

2

4

125

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

It’s 100/100 at level one of #EPTBarcelona . 100 is the smallest chip and the kidz are in meltdown trying to work out how to 2.5x it. For one hour only, old school raises are back. 😃

3

8

129

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

I’ve been saying it for years, but next time I get a big result I’m gonna buy some new T-shirts.

11

2

125

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

6 years

Thor Hansen was that rarest of things, an International Treasure. Let’s let his family and friends know how much we all feel the loss of this lovely man.

1

6

119

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

@Baddiel Careful you don’t unconsciously join hands with those who would now hold that non-citizens are less human than citizens. The distinction is not forgotten, neither is the unique horror of the Holocaust. The analogy about dehumanising language is nevertheless apt and important.

0

3

124

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

1 year

This summer I’ll be in Vegas for longer than Liz Truss was Prime Minister, and can only hope I do less financial damage. 🤞🏻

8

6

126

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

5 years

In these dark dangerous and potentially divisive times, we can at least all unite in the certain knowledge and conviction that Tim Martin of Weatherspoons is without question Britain’s biggest cunt.

19

14

124

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 years

How it started...how it finished.

8

5

125

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

7 years

If someone's an arsehole at the table, I don't care that he's 'nice in real life.' Poker IS real life.

8

20

114

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

Online bracelets are actual bracelets like pornhub is actual sex.

12

6

122

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

4 months

21 year old just sat down, and seat one snap asked if his mom knew he was here. So I asked if his probation officer knew *he* was here, and the way the old fella spun round in his chair I think I might have been onto something.

7

3

121

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

3 years

Thinking about the time I got a one round penalty, short stacked near the bubble at the @WSOP for saying “Mind you, that Schrödinger’s cat must be fucking dead by now.”

8

3

120

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

Oh come on Poker News, stick to reporting the hands. 🤭

2

4

121

Barny Boatman

@barnyboatman

2 years

@VictoriaCoren Absolutely justified. I’m amazed you got the Only Connect gig sporting those tiddlers. Now you can do an OnlyConnectFans page.

1

0

120