MM @armley8640 Twitter profile

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@armley8640

3 months

Just saw an advert for a company called “Pure Cremation”. During said advert it shows you can buy gift vouchers. At what stage in life do you give someone gift vouchers for cremation??

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@armley8640

4 months

Morning from Vienna on my first birthday for 4 years🤣🤣Some of the cards are a bit cheeky.

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@armley8640

3 years

My mate walks over to the Indian takeaway after the pub and rings in an order from outside for home delivery. When the driver comes out he gets him to give him a lift home and saves the taxi fare!!

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@armley8640

2 years

George Square Glasgow on Armed Forces day. Glasgow City Council showing their true colours!!!!

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@armley8640

3 years

Guy in Tesco just bought all the cans of Irn Bru because there’s going to be a shortage due to CO2 issues!!! The staff let him. He must have a hundred cans.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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@armley8640

8 months

Been sent to the pub by Mrs M. She’s on some mad cleaning regime and I’m apparently “worse than a man down”. I’m outraged but cheers anyway.

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@armley8640

7 months

Afternoon. Lots of snow expected towards the end of the week, so popped in here to practice being snowed in. You can’t be too careful👍🍺

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@armley8640

3 months

Morning. Man down here with SEVERE man flu. High fever and agonising pains and aches. Mrs M gave me a quick check up and diagnosed me as “pathetic”. She’s also decided I’m fit for work because”I’m not getting under her feet all day”. No bed blocking in this house. Enjoy your day

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@armley8640

7 months

Mrs M in her death bed so I went and did the big shop (including Lucozade). Came home and she’s sat up on the couch, hair done and ready to go to the pub🤦🤦🤦my nursing skills are better than I thought. Now calling her Lazarus🤣cheers

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@armley8640

2 years

@MonicaLennon7 You’re wrong on this Monica. Labour have totally screwed up by supporting the bill. I think you were making inroads in Scotland but you’ve just proven that you can’t be trusted.

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@armley8640

3 months

Lovely and Sunny here in Glasgow. Just got to my local Church (picture below) and it’s already busy. Sunday lunch out this afternoon with a wander around some of the nicer city centre pubs. Happy Easter everyone🤣

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@armley8640

2 months

Mrs M going away for a night tonight for one of her pals birthday. Minibus coming for her at 9. I’ve to report at 08:30 for a briefing. Seems to be a quick intro to the kitchen area and what I can and can’t use. I’m only going to be in there to get a beer from the fridge🤣🤣

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@armley8640

2 years

So, our work are now offering us a change to our contract, should we want to change. It’s to allow us to keep our weekly hours (37) but do that in 4 days instead of 5. Would you do it and if so what day wouldn’t you work?

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@armley8640

4 months

Morning all. Anyone know what time the garages start discounting the flowers and cards??

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@armley8640

9 months

This is a picture I took myself. It’s called “waiting for the train”

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@armley8640

6 months

Here we go. What you all drinking🤣?

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@armley8640

7 months

Hate it when you walk into a room and can’t remember what you went in for. Having a pint whilst I try to remember. Cheers all🤣🍺

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@armley8640

3 years

Quick question. You get a long service award from your work which is £500 of vouchers. You get to pick which vouchers you want from a list of places that includes all the high end shops. Is it okay to give them to your other half for her birthday???

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@armley8640

3 years

I thought here in Scotland we had enough water for ourselves plus enough to blackmail the rest of the UK with if we become independent. How come we have a hosepipe and paddling pool ban after a couple of sunny days?

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@armley8640

3 months

Mrs M threatening to make a Sunday roast today so I’ve come to the pub to get some Dutch courage before I have to tackle it. It will be a rare outing for the oven if she does🤣🤣cheers all and enjoy a relaxing Sunday if you can👍

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@armley8640

2 years

So got an e mail from my tv/ broadband Co. Cost going up from £95 a month to £146!!!! Phoned up to tell them to cancel and now have a better package at £80 per month!! Plus free Netflix and two new boxes. How do they get away with the pricing???

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@armley8640

7 months

Had to pop to the local to get the umbrella that I left up there last night. Got here and realised I never took an umbrella out with me last night. Never mind. Cheers

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@armley8640

10 months

And we’re here.

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@armley8640

1 year

I was going to stay away from the pub but we needed a pint of milk….

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@armley8640

2 months

Time to head home from our short break away. Quick breakfast and heading to the airport. Have a great day everyone🤣☀️👍

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@armley8640

6 months

Checked in and ready to start Christmas. Dinner booked tonight at 6 so a bit of time to start the drinks. Have a lovely time all👍🤣

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@armley8640

1 year

Early sun downer. Well it’s not your birthday every day is it? Cheers

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@armley8640

9 months

Still travelling homewards. Trains are a nightmare due to the flooding. Forced me to seek refuge in a pub again 👍🤣

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@armley8640

9 months

Mrs M away for her birthday Weekend with the girls. I’ve just had the guided tour of the kitchen and been given a list of do’s and do nots (mainly do nots). Left to cope all on my own 🥲🥲going to be difficult but I will survive. Have a great weekend everyone 🍺🍺

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@armley8640

7 months

Been kicked out again so Mrs M can get the cleaning done. Spending international men’s day at the bar with the other international men. Cheers.

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@armley8640

9 months

Did a deal with Mrs M that because she was having a special holiday this year we wouldn’t buy presents but instead go on 4 holidays of her choice. It’s her birthday tomorrow and she phoned me today saying that she’d better have some presents to open 🤣🤣feel like I’ve been had🤦

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@armley8640

2 months

Only gone and missed my ferry home. A pint it is then. Cheers.

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@armley8640

4 months

Afternoon all. That’s work finished until next Tuesday. All packed and heading to Vienna tomorrow. Thought I’d drop in for a quick pint today in case they don’t sell beer in Austria. Cheers👍🤣

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@armley8640

1 year

Morning all. Treated Mrs M with a drive through coffee from McDonalds on our way to work today. Can anyone beat that for pure romance this morning?

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@armley8640

2 years

Out of the blue our work has just announced a £1k pay rise for everyone to help with the cost of living crisis. That’s two this year plus a normal pay rise. How’s other companies doing?

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@armley8640

2 months

Mrs M kicking the backside out of it now🤣🤣

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@armley8640

3 months

Work done 👍on my way to get the train but realised it was “National Ferret day” so popped in here to raise a glass to all the Ferrets out there. Cheers

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@armley8640

7 months

@AgentP22 I’ll always remember him smirking. They think they’re untouchable.

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@armley8640

7 months

Checked in, now out for lunch and a few cheeky pints before Madness tonight. Couldn’t be staying anywhere closer👍👍enjoy your Friday nights.

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@armley8640

7 months

Morning all. Early start this morning and a lunchtime finish. Checking into a hotel in Glasgow and off to the Madness concert tonight. Might fit a beer or two in. Have a great Friday/weekend all👍🤣

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@armley8640

2 months

Morning all. Not my fault Mrs M bought it. Cheers though

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@armley8640

2 years

Washing machine stopped half way through a wash and full of water. Had an F05 error. On YouTube and found a video showing how to fix it and managed to do it on my own🤣🤣chuffed to bits, I’ve never fixed anything in my life🤣🤣🤣

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@armley8640

7 months

No beer tonight🤦Mrs M on a Christmas night out, so I’m on driving duties. God knows what time I’ll get called, but I’ll be driving her pals around Glasgow dropping them off later🤣🤣. Husband of the month award incoming again🤣don’t be posting pictures of 🍺

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@armley8640

8 months

Mrs M doing overtime so I’ve been left in charge of myself again. Needed a loaf of bread so just popped to the shops. Cheers all

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@armley8640

6 months

Mate rings me to go up the pub a bit early because the final is on today and it’ll get busy. Me just in the pub

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@armley8640

2 months

No local pub today but will probably have a drink in the rooftop bar later. Better get unpacked and start investigating the joint. Cheers all🤣🍺🍺

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@armley8640

4 months

Last day of my holiday break. A quick pint or two and an early night tonight. Cleared all my e-mails this morning so that I know what I’m going in to tomorrow. Cheers all

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@armley8640

4 months

Wandering around Vienna. Afternoon all.

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@armley8640

8 months

Just had a Sunday roast in front of a roaring fire in a village pub. Absolutely lovely but really full. Popped in for a quick one to let it all go down. Cheers and enjoy your Sundays👍🤣

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@armley8640

7 months

Followed the travel advice on the tv this morning and heading home with my shovel, sleeping bag, flask of tea, torch, spare batteries etc. Just popped in here to check my train times and I’ll be on my way. Cheers👍

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@armley8640

3 months

Very sunny today. I realised I had caught a touch of sunstroke just I was passing this establishment, so have come in to get some respite. Cheers all and watch yourself in that sun, I was lucky👍🤣🍺

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@armley8640

3 months

Afternoon. Would you believe it? Went to get an Easter egg and the shop was unexpectedly busy which in turn has made me miss my train. Now in here waiting for the next one. Cheers all👍

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@armley8640

8 months

Afternoon all. That’s work done for the day and I’m in between trains🤣cheers

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@armley8640

8 months

Manic Monday morning, but all done for the day. Mrs M is off so has been looking at holidays on the net. She’s found one I’m going to love apparently (I won’t because it’s going to cost me) and is coming to get me and take me to the travel agent. Wish me luck and cheers

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@armley8640

1 year

Cracking day. Got the grass cut so just popped out to the shop for a pint of milk. Cheers

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@armley8640

7 months

Another Christmas lunch attended and now waiting for Mrs M to come and rescue me. Might as well have a pint whilst waiting. Cheers everyone 👍🤣🍺

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@armley8640

3 years

Anyone else getting loads of DMs pretending to be people from Insta??

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@armley8640

1 year

Don’t usually get DMs but just had 7 from scantily dressed young Chinese ladies who all apparently work for Amazon and can get me a job paying $25 per hour for doing nothing. I’m good at doing nothing so sounds right up my street. Do you think they might be telling fibs?

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@armley8640

8 months

Right I’ve managed to give Mrs M the slip (she’s been a bit clingy this weekend). Going to the shop to get some milk

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@armley8640

7 months

Morning folks. The day after a Madness concert🤦🤪best get moving. Got to get home and back into Glasgow for a 40th birthday party at two🤦. Have a great day folks, the snow has arrived here👍🤣

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@armley8640

2 months

Flight home delayed yesterday because the flight from UK was delayed whilst the Police removed a drunk passenger who was causing trouble on the plane. We need to do something in UK airports to stop them getting in that state and on the aircraft in the first place.

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@armley8640

10 months

Morning from Malta (you can just see it in the distance🤣)

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@armley8640

8 months

Waiting for Mrs M to finish work for a lift home. Why not? Cheers

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@armley8640

3 months

Thank you all for your sympathy earlier. I was just going to make my weary way to the train station when I remembered it was National Winston Churchill day. He wouldn’t have let man flu keep him down, so I just popped in here to lift a glass to Winston. Cheers all👍🤣

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@armley8640

1 year

So Mrs M out in the garden talking to our next door neighbour, a lovely lady in her seventies. Turns out she has an appointment this afternoon at the hospital and needs to get two buses to get there. Mrs M said I’d take her in the car!!!! Football kicks off at 12:30🤦🤦🤦.

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@armley8640

9 months

Washing and ironing done and gave the place a quick hoover. Think I’ve deserved this🤣🤣Cheers all. Have a great day and if you’re into the rugby, enjoy the games later

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@armley8640

3 months

Afternoon. Where did the sun go? Missed the train so had to pop in here to wait for the next one. I hope I don’t miss that as well Cheers

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@armley8640

2 months

Weekend started. Cheers🍺🍺🍺

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@armley8640

1 year

What’s the issue with people who use private health/schools? They pay out of their own pocket (mostly) and free up a place in a council school/NHS. Is it an equality for all thing? If so, surely we should be trying to improve the NHS/Schools not bringing the private stuff down?

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@armley8640

9 months

On the way to Munich but dragged in for a pint in the airport. Cheers all

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@armley8640

7 months

Tried to sneak out but Mrs M has followed me again

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@armley8640

1 year

Mandatory pint at the airport. Have a great day all👍🤣

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@armley8640

9 months

Morning. Anyone want anything brought back?

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@armley8640

3 years

@Janela_X We have two offices. One in Scotland one in England. We get the same gross pay but the English people take home £1600 per year more. Guess which office is marked for closure?

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@armley8640

1 year

@allymurray7 He’d be good at FMQs🤣🤣

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@armley8640

6 months

Morning everyone. I used to say that most days but now I spend my early morning blocking bots in my notifications. What a carry on that is. Do people really fall for it?? Have a great day everyone 👍🤣

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@armley8640

3 months

Morning all. Just been made aware that it’s National Beer day, so I might need to pop out for a pint. Also found out this morning that I won £700 on the Irish lottery last night🤣🤣happy Sunday all👍👍

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@armley8640

8 months

Must be nearly Christmas 🤶🎅

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@armley8640

2 months

Mrs M driving and the boot open sign keeps coming on. I have to get out to close it because it is actually opening. Was going to turn back and go to a garage but realised I have my keys in my back pocket and every time I move my arse is pressing the open button🤦🤦

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@armley8640

2 months

Morning. Champagne breakfast anyone? Enjoy your long weekend if you’re off👍🤣🍺

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@armley8640

2 months

Afternoon all. Couple of quiet pints to wind the weekend down. Cheers all

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@armley8640

3 months

Out of milk so muggings has been sent to the shops again. Forgot about the Bank Holiday. There’s a massive queue at the milk counter so I’ve popped in here until it goes down a bit. Cheers.

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@armley8640

8 months

Newcastle waking up. Good morning all🤣

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@armley8640

4 years

@pearlylondon My misses wants to leave me cos I’m obsessed with snooker but I think she just needs a break xx

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@armley8640

3 years

@macnahgalla @freida_mcintosh @ScotGovFM English living in Scotland. Family come up for a long weekend every year. Last 20 years but don’t want to come up this year. We are meeting in the Lake District instead. Shame.

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@armley8640

2 months

Drink in Cafe Mambo anyone?? You can see our hotel from here🤣

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@armley8640

10 months

On the move again. See you in Corfu in the morning👍🤣

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@armley8640

8 months

Breakfast is on me. What yer having?

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@armley8640

1 year

Cheers everyone. Sunday lunch in Glasgow. Quick pint first🍺

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@armley8640

6 months

Morning all. Popped into the office to do the final checks and balances and then the Christmas party gets proper underway. Have a great build up to Christmas everyone👍🤣🤣

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@armley8640

10 months

Morning all. Just up and moving and they’ve only gone and moved again🤦🤦have a lovely Sunday🤣👍

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@armley8640

7 months

Morning folks. No idea what it’s like outside yet because it’s still very dark out. Too early to be up on a Saturday so a cuppa and back to bed it is. Have a great day everyone 👍🤣

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@armley8640

6 months

That’s work done for the day, nearly there folks🤣 got toothache which is giving me a sore face/head. Google says to gargle with salt water but that isn’t available just now so popped in here to see if this works. Cheers all

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@armley8640

8 months

Breakfast time. What we having? Mrs M’s niece has joined us because it’s her birthday 👍🤣

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@armley8640

6 months

Right, all dressed up and nowhere to go until 2:00. Got dragged into the bar by Mrs M. Cheers all and enjoy your day.

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@armley8640

5 months

Morning all. Bit windy but lovely day for a walk. We’re at the 6km point so a pit stop for a coffee and the loo🤣have a great day everyone 👍🤣👊

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@armley8640

9 months

That’s Monday work done so just a half day tomorrow and we’re off to Munich for Ocktoberfest👍🤣🍺🍺cheers all.

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@armley8640

7 months

Morning all. Day off for me but still wide awake. Made a cuppa and back to bed it is. Snow has nearly all gone but it’s still freezing. Nice weather for a walk though, so will be giving that a go in an hour or so. Have a lovely day whatever your up to👍🤣

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@armley8640

3 months

Attempting to get home in torrential rain, but my brolly is on its last legs, so had to pop in here to give it some running repairs. Cheers everyone 👍🤣

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@armley8640

7 months

Guy just came in the pub playing a violin and collecting money because it’s National Violin day?? I didn’t give him anything because it sounds like a fiddle👍Cheers all. Pub full of Dutch football supporters as well.

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